Masterpiece (The Masters of The Order Book 1) (30 page)

“And I wish I could have just told you.” She nipped his finger. “No. No regrets. We will find our way together. You and only you, Nicolai. Just know that I love you.”

“Love indeed."

The magnificent smile that graced his face told her he felt the same. The topic of Darion LeClair was closed.

“I hate to be the one to remind you of this, but we have to get dressed. You have a visitor coming today.”

He untied her binds and carried her limp body into the bath.

*****

Julianne startled when she noticed him leaning against the molding of the archway.

He’d been there for ten minutes.

“Why do you do that?”

Nicolai raised an eyebrow.

“Watch me like that.”

“I’m a devil. Remember?”

Lust shone in her eyes as her perfect lips curved into a wicked smile. “You’re my devil.”

“And your devil enjoys watching you unaware. Small details say so much. Like that subtle shift of your hip. If I didn’t know better, Beauty mine, I would say you’re turned on.”

She squirmed again. “I can’t decide whether this toy is a punishment or a reward. Good Lord, Nicolai. How am I ever going to get through Sister’s visit with this thing inside of me? I feel like there’s a neon sign over my head detailing every sin.”

“From this vantage point, it looks as if my beautiful devil enjoys her sin.” He grinned and stepped into the room. As he poured himself a cup of coffee, he asked, “Do you want me to stay or leave after she arrives?”

Although he asked, he had no intention of leaving Julianne alone with a nun. Bad enough they were “living in sin.” What would the Sister have to say if she truly understood? He wanted Julianne proud and wouldn’t allow some zealot to taint her wondrous inhibition. Their lives were intertwined now and they would face whatever Sister Genevieve had to say together.

And the toy? Just a little more sin to keep Julianne focused.

“Please stay. I don’t know what to expect and I’m nervous.”

As Thomas escorted the Sister into the room, Nicolai rose to greet her. Julianne rose as well, but a bit more slowly. He hid his enjoyment at why. The threesome exchanged innocent banter over coffee and cake. News of the
lycée
. Talk of Nicolai’s recent opening. All the while, suspicious eyes monitored every detail of Genevieve’s behavior.

Upon hearing that Julianne sold her first work, the Sister gushed with love and pride. “A professional artist. Well done. Your father must be so proud.”

Julianne skirted the comment with a nod. “Would my mother be?”

If the Sister caught Julianne’s dodge, she didn’t show it.

“Especially her.” Genevieve put her hands on Julianne’s cheeks. “You are so much like her. In fact, Lianne is why I’m here. I brought you something.” She bent to open her briefcase, removed a tattered book and handed it to Julianne. “This belonged to her.”

So far, so good
. The Sister seemed to be ignoring the topic of his living arrangement with Julianne and talking about Lianne was a good thing given how much Julianne longed to know about the mother she’d lost too young.

“It’s her journal, Nicolai.” Julianne’s eyes were entranced as her fingertips ran over the pages with trembling reverence. Inside the book were letters, dried flowers and many old photographs. “Where did you get this?” she asked breathless.

“That doesn’t matter,” Genevieve said a bit too quickly. “What matters is that you have it now. I hope after you’ve had time to go through it, you will understand the unique beauty of Lianne and possibly of yourself.”

Perhaps it was his distrust of conformity, but now something seemed off. Genevieve’s eyes met his briefly before she lowered her gaze. When she spoke again, the voice was artfully composed.

“This journal tells a story, Julianne. A love story. One that you should know.” She paused with a heavy breath. “It’s the story of Lianne, Gilles and Xavier Talbot.”

The words hit him like a battering ram. “What!”

Julianne jumped in her seat at the outburst. He’d scared her so he reached for her hand, but kept his eyes locked on Genevieve.

“They were lovers before Julianne was born and…”

Nicolai cut her off. “Pardon me, Sister, but why would
you
,” he gave a pointed look to the cross around her neck, “ever share something like that with Julianne?”

“This is Julianne’s past. She deserves to know it,” Genevieve replied in the haughty voice he’d expected initially.

“No. It’s Lianne’s past,” he corrected in a stern voice, his Dom voice.

Genevieve’s chin rose. “I do not judge.”

“Bullshit,” he snapped to a stand and got right in her face.

The Sister began wiping her hands over her grey frock. “Of course I have reservations about Julianne being exposed to this lifestyle, but it seems necessary at this point. Wouldn’t you say so,
monsieur
?” Accusation simmered in her words, but her confidence was badly shaken.

“How dare you show up here…” The words were eclipsed as understanding filtered through his shock. It wasn’t judgment he saw in Genevieve’s face. Contrition marked her expression at telling Julianne about her mother’s sexual history.

So why is she?
“How did you get Lianne’s journal?”

“It’s time I go.”

The Sister was flustered, trying to avoid his eyes as she struggled with the weight of her…
guilt
.

His body blocked her retreat. “Who sent you here?”

“Nicolai, stop it.” Julianne hurried to Genevieve’s side.

The tension threatened to snap his jaw as he glued his lips together.
Julianne cannot hear the answer to that question.

“I’ve tried to do my best for you, Julianne, because I loved Lianne.” Genevieve’s voice broke. “And I love her daughter too. Very much.”

Nicolai couldn’t speak past the foreboding storm gathering in his mind. Julianne threw her arms around Genevieve and looked at him as if he’d gone mad.

If he was right, he just might.

*****

“Tell me you didn’t know,” Nicolai barked into the phone without bothering to mask the fury in his voice.

He’d never been so disrespectful with his mentor. The formal protocols of the Order didn’t allow it.

“Hello, Nicolai,” Darion answered with an unspoken warning in his voice.

He ignored it. “Damn it, Darion. Tell me.”

“Tell you what?”

“That you didn’t fucking know that Xavier, Giroux and Julianne’s mother were lovers.”

“I knew,” Darion replied, offering nothing more.

“Then why didn’t you tell me?” he snapped.

Darion’s reply was mild, but chastising. “I told you I would attempt to discover Xavier’s connection to Julianne and I did. I didn’t tell you what I learned because this situation involves Xavier Talbot or have you forgotten that? While I’ve discovered facts about Julianne’s past, facts don’t tell me what I need to know. I know nothing of Xavier’s feelings about those facts. Until I do, I could not risk you being harmed.”

“Harmed?” Shock rose in his voice. “I thought everything was alright when you told me Xavier changed his mind about Julianne and the Order and now you’re telling me he might harm her!”

“As I said, I don’t know what Xavier’s intentions are. Until I do, I will not eliminate any possibility.”

“Jesus, Darion. You should have told me.” There was no masking his shaken faith.

“Had I believed that was best, I would have, but your muse inspires passions that make reasonable men unreasonable.” The uncharacteristic softness in Darion’s voice said he counted himself as one of those men, but the next words were sharp. “We cannot afford unchecked emotion when dealing with Xavier. How did you find out about the affair?”

Darion was right. A wrong move with Xavier could be lethal. Nicolai set his anger aside and focused on figuring out the ramifications of what he’d just learned. “Julianne’s godmother gave her Lianne’s journal. I suspect someone put her up to it and I’m guessing it wasn’t you.”

“No, but I did speak to Genevieve. Does the journal say anything about the break up?”

“It ends while everyone was still living happily ever after. So this is why Xavier hates Gilles. Because of the affair.”

“I believe so, yes.”

“But why would a nun reveal a mother’s ménage to her daughter? That makes no sense.”

“As you said, perhaps someone encouraged her.”

“By encourage, you mean threaten.” A sick feeling sank in his gut. “And by someone, you mean Xavier.”

Darion continued with his usual calm formality and Nicolai was grateful for it. Without that anchor, he would fly apart. “The Sister implied that it was Gilles who ended the affair and I will say that I am not comforted to know Julianne’s father separated Xavier from the woman he loved.”

“Xavier wants revenge?”

“I don’t know.”

Silence stretched between them as Nicolai tried to get control over his emotions. He didn’t know what to think or do next. All he could do was put his trust in the man he respected most and ask, “What do we do now?”

He did not get an answer he wanted.

“The Bacchanal is coming up and Xavier has requested Julianne’s presence at the Grand Ball.”

The Bacchanal was an annual weekend of lavish parties in Monaco. It was the only time the entire membership of the Order came together. Xavier hosted the Grand Ball at his mansion and the extravaganza made even a royal affair look common in comparison.

“If that depraved motherfucker has his eye on my woman, I’m not walking her right into his clutches.”

“It would be unwise to deny him, Nicolai. Once I observe Xavier’s reaction to Julianne, I will know better how to proceed.”

“I respect your opinion, Darion, but…”

“Listen to me, Nico. Xavier is playing some kind of game. He’s been tracking Julianne for months through a private investigator. I don’t know why, but we have to find out. Hiding won’t accomplish anything and we cannot show our hand. Please, give me your trust in this and allow me to handle Xavier in my own way. I give you my vow that that no harm will come to you or Julianne. I will die before I let that happen.”

For the first time, Nicolai heard fear in Darion’s voice and it silenced his arguments. Everything inside wanted to refuse Darion’s advice, but Darion did not hyperbolize. If he said he would die to protect Julianne, he would, and if he said they had to face Xavier at the Grand Ball, they did.

His hands shook as the full horror of the situation hit him. He was no fool. Not after the extremes he’d witnessed in his lifetime. Rules didn’t apply to men like Alexi Stavros and Xavier Talbot. They did as they damn well pleased. Nothing was beyond their reach and no one had power over them. If Xavier meant to harm Julianne, Darion was the only hope for a happy ending.

“Alright, Darion. We’ll do this your way.”

*****

Julianne studied her reflection.

Who is the woman staring back?

Her mother’s journal lay behind her, discarded on the floor of her boudoir, surrounded by photographs and mementos of a secret life. Julianne had been told all her life that she was “just like” Lianne. But the woman exposed in the journal was so childlike.

Am I really her?

Everything she learned about Lianne made her desperate to reexamine herself, but it felt as if she was looking through the frosted glass in Nicolai’s studio. Nothing was clear. It was as if she had floated through her life in a haze. Like a child. A child she didn’t want to be.

She reached behind her head and began to braid her hair. Her fingers moved swiftly, following a familiar pattern. Doubt twisted her mind like the hands in her hair, tighter and tighter.

Was her sexuality her own? Did she really want to join the Order? Hollow eyes scanned the extravagant items filling the boudoir. Or was she still a poor little rich girl locked in a gilded cage?

Julianne wanted to scream, but never would. Instead, she lifted the belt in her hand.

Nicolai’s voice rang over the sound of leather slapping against skin. “Stop! What the hell are you doing?”

“Leave me alone, Nicolai.”

“No. I will not let you hurt yourself like this.” He grabbed her wrist and jerked the belt out of her hand. Some emotion, not fury, but something damn close, reeked out of every pore. “How can you do this to yourself? Why didn’t you talk to me?” He looked horrified. “Damn it. After everything we’ve been through, why can’t you turn to me?”

Impotent rage consumed her, making her callous to Nicolai’s pain. She looked at him with cold eyes. “I hurt you. I want you to hurt me.”

“Honestly, at this moment, I want to.” He threw the belt across the room. “But I won’t. I’m angry and upset. This is not the time to hand me a whip.”

“Please, Nicolai. I need this,” she begged. “I have to know the answer.”