Mated in Mist (12 page)

Ryder took her hand in his as he led her to his place. It wasn’t until they were in his foyer that she realized she still held the football.

“Crap. I didn’t mean to steal it.”

Ryder took it from her and set it on the front table in the center. “We have others, and you deserve this one. You scored the winning touchdown, after all.” He reached out and helped her with her coat, and she couldn’t help the shiver as his fingers brushed her skin.

She licked her lips, then reached up and kissed his jaw. “Well, I couldn’t have done it without you. Thank you for letting me play.”

Ryder slid his hand through her hair and cupped the back of her head. “Thank you for wanting to.” He let out a breath. “What am I going to do with you, little witch?”

“What do you want to do with me?”

He leaned down and rested his forehead on hers. “So fucking much, Leah. Too much.”

Her heart hurt, the aching beat that should have been silent after what she’d promised herself. Her arms went numb at the thought of what would happen when she left him. Because he wouldn’t be the one to leave her, as he’d never fully been there to begin with. He pushed her away even as he held her close, but she knew he had a reason. The fact that he didn’t trust her with that reason broke her a bit each time her magic called to him, but she tried to not let it hurt her. She’d learned long ago that if she held herself back, if she hid part of herself, it didn’t ache as badly.

He didn’t trust her with the reason he couldn’t mate with her, but he also couldn’t keep his hands off of her. She couldn’t fall for him because when it was time to go, it would only hurt that much more. So she would take what she could and give just as much. And then she’d walk away when it was time. This was just sex, just a…friend. And that was it. Nothing more. Nothing less.

And if she kept lying to herself, maybe she would believe it.

Her magic called to him. Her soul called to him.

And yet, he wouldn’t have her.

So she would take him as he was and he would have to do the same. Because she wasn’t ready for a mate, wasn’t ready for that kind of sharing. The closer she got to another, the sharper the pain when someone betrayed her…or when she lost that someone.

“Leah,” Ryder whispered. “Come back to me.”

She blinked away her thoughts and tried to live in the moment. It was all she had, and she needed to relish it.

“Make love to me, Ryder,” she said finally. “No promises. Just you and me.”

He licked his lips, his eyes glowing gold. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”

No
. But it was what she needed.

“Yes. Kiss me.”

His thumb brushed her jaw and he nodded. “I can do that, Leah. I can do that and more.”

When he lowered his lips to hers, she slid her hands around his hips and up his back, raking her nails ever so slightly along his skin. He hadn’t put on a shirt during their short walk back from the field, and she’d never been so grateful. His skin was sweat-slick, and yet all she wanted to do was lick up his body and taste every curve. There had to be something wrong with her if she had that thought on her brain.

Ryder’s mouth devoured hers, his tongue taking over, and she melted into him. When his hands went to her ass, she rocked against him and moaned. He cupped her, lifting her off the ground in a show of strength that shouldn’t have surprised her, but did.

“I love your muscles,” she blurted.

Ryder grinned, his eyes gold and sparkling. “I’ll make sure to put them to work, then.” He carried her to the bedroom as she wrapped her legs around his waist, his cock sitting perfectly against her clit. All she had to do was rock against him and maybe she’d come. But from the look in Ryder’s eyes, if she did that, he might punish her.

Of course, she might like that just as much.

She slid down his front when they entered the bedroom and kissed his chest as she put her feet firmly on the floor. Ryder tangled his fingers in her hair and forced her gaze to his.

“I’m going to taste you, every inch of you, then I’m going to fuck you hard. So hard we’re both spent and panting.” He met her gaze and an odd look passed across his face. “We’re going to use condoms, Leah. Be sure.”

She knew what he meant. There were two steps to every mating. The first was sex where the man would come within their mate, cementing their bond on the human end. The second was a mating mark where the wolf in human form would bite into the other’s shoulder. In a case of two wolves mating, each would do it, but she’d heard that even humans and witches who mated into the Pack bit down because of the emotional connections. That mark signified the mating between the wolf and the other in a way that spoke of magic and the goddess.

A condom would prevent the first step, and he’d made no mention of the mating mark since it wouldn’t be a problem. It was a reminder that he would not mate her, but would take her. But she was giving herself freely, so was he really taking? She was going into this with eyes wide open, knowing even if he’d wanted to mate with her, she didn’t want to tie her life to his.

Instead of answering, she reached around him and gripped his ass before kissing down his chest. He seemed to take that in stride and ran his hands down her back and then around her hips and back up again so he could cup her breasts. He’d made her come before, but she’d never seen him naked, and she’d never been fully bare in front of him.

They were taking the next step—maybe not the step they should have been taking—but it was step they understood.

He went to his knees in front of her and tugged on the bottom of her shirt. She helped him lift it over her head, then sucked in her lip as he licked and nibbled up her belly and toward her breasts. She wasn’t that tall, and he was damn big, so she only had to lean over for him to be able to bite at her breasts through her bra. When she reached around and undid the clasp, he let out an approving growl. At least, she hoped it was approving because it made her wet just thinking about it.

He lifted the cups from her breasts then let out another growl. “Holy goddess, your nipples are fucking perfect. Like little ripe berries begging for my tongue.”

She usually wasn’t a fan of dirty talk, but if he were going to talk like that to her while licking at her nipples, then she’d take it. His other hand worked on the button of her jeans as he sucked her nipple into his mouth and she ran her hand through his hair, wanting more.

He pulled away then tugged on her jeans. “Off.” His voice was more wolf than man.

She helped him take off her pants, then gasped as he nuzzled her pussy through her panties.

“You smell so fucking delicious. I’m going to eat your cunt, Leah. You ready for that? You ready for my tongue inside you and on your clit? I want you to come on my face until you can’t breathe, and then I’m going to fuck you hard into the bed.”

Holy hell. She almost came at his words alone.

“Get on the edge of the bed and take off your panties. Slowly.”

He stood up as he spoke and worked on his pants.

“And what are you going to do when I take off my panties?” Even as she said it, she went to sit on the edge of the bed. She slowly slid her hands along her hips and around the edges of the lace, then even slower, slid them down her thighs, lifting her ass slightly so she could take them off.

His gaze was on her pussy, not her face, and she couldn’t help but feel empowered that she’d done that to him, this strong, quiet wolf.

Ryder shucked off his jeans and boxer briefs, leaving him naked and hard. His cock stood at attention, thick and long and so rigid that she was afraid he might come right then. Instead, he fisted himself, giving his dick a few quick thrusts as he licked his lips.

“All the way off, Leah. Now.”

She tossed her panties to the side, and feeling powerful, spread herself for him. He let out a groan and she slid her hand down her belly and over her clit.

“Like this?”

Ryder was on his knees in a flash, his face buried between her legs and his beard scraping along the skin of her inner thighs. He lapped at her, using his fingers to tease her until her body shook and she gasped for breath.

He growled low, the vibrations going straight to her clit, and she came, calling his name. Before she could blink, she was flat on her back and Ryder hovered above her. His condom-clad cock pressed against her opening as he stared intently into her eyes.

“You ready, little witch?”

“Goddess, yes.”

He smiled before thrusting hard. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she tried to call out his name but couldn’t formulate the word. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his biceps as he pounded into her, his cock stretching her yet relieving an ache she didn’t know she’d had.

Ryder kissed her then, bringing her back to him as he made love to her, hard, fast, and thrilling. Her breasts pressed against his chest, her nipples hard and aching. When she met his gaze, her heart pounding for more than one reason, he pulled out and gripped her hips. She felt empty at the loss but soon found herself on her stomach with her face practically pressed into the mattress as he fucked her from behind. Her toes barely reached the floor, but he kept her steady, pounding into her. She bit into the sheets so she wouldn’t call out, and her fingers gripped the cotton so hard she was afraid she’d tear it.

When he reached around and slid his fingers over her clit, she came again at his touch, this time with him as he filled the condom within her.

She came down from her high faster this time, aware she’d been thoroughly fucked and had come without looking at him—without him having to see her.

Leah knew why he’d done it. Not only had it been hot and an awesome position, but it had also kept a distance between them that was needed. He hadn’t looked at her when he’d come and she’d been grateful. Because if he had seen her as she’d come again, he’d have seen too much.

And she was afraid she might not have seen enough.

Ryder was a fucking idiot. He’d let his demons win, but there hadn’t been another option.

You’re nothing.

You’re tainted.

Ryder closed his eyes and let his uncle’s voice wash over him. The bastard had beaten him almost to death in life and now taunted him in death. One day, he might be able to push out the demons that plagued him, but he wasn’t sure he’d ever find the way. It wasn’t as if he knew of another wolf who had the same so-called powers as he did. As far as he knew, he was the only one.

That wasn’t all that uncommon, however. He knew of a few Redwood wolves who held special powers. Such as Bay Jamenson. She had the ability to glean the histories of certain objects just by her touch. She could actually
see
the past wrapped around a pocket watch or random antique. Her mating with Adam over thirty years ago had only heightened her senses.

And that was something Ryder couldn’t allow to happen.

If he were to mate with another, he might increase the number of voices he heard, or worse, intensify the voices’ power over him. He could even pass it on to his mate, as Maddox and Ellie had found out when the former Redwood Pack Omega mated with her.

He couldn’t allow Leah to lose any more of herself by mating with him.

Hence why Ryder was a fucking idiot.

He’d never felt as alive as when he was deep inside Leah, lying to himself that making love to her was only because of the need and not something more. When he’d been on top of her, sliding in and out and having to hold onto that bare thread of control, he’d felt his fangs elongate, ready to mark, ready to claim.

His wolf had
needed
to mate, and Ryder couldn’t allow that to happen.

So he’d pulled out of her and forced her onto her stomach so he could bring them both to completion without having to make eye contact. He hadn’t wanted her to see the truth in his eyes—the truth that told her he wanted so much more than a hard fuck at the end of the day.

He wanted a true mating. Wanted someone he could share his life with. Wanted to form a mating bond that would heal them both from the inside out.

But that couldn’t happen so he’d had to be an asshole.

After he’d pulled out of her and disposed of the condom, he’d spooned behind her, unable to be as crass as to leave her spent in the middle of the bed, alone and shaking. She hadn’t looked behind her but had wrapped her hand around his as he cupped her breast. They’d slept like that without another word, but when he’d woken up early the next morning, he’d needed to leave her.

He’d wanted to wake her up by sweetly making love to her and kissing every inch of her skin. He’d wanted to show her that she was worth more than a damaged wolf.

As he couldn’t do any of that, he’d left her a note on his pillow and gone for a run.

His body still ached from the exertion, the bones in his body not quite settled since he’d shifted as quickly as he could. He’d needed the pain to help tone down the desire running through his veins. Maybe if it hurt enough, he’d be able to forget who lay in his bed.

Ryder ran a hand through his hair before leaning against a tree, his chest hurting from either the strain of the run or what he’d done—maybe both. The sun slid through the clouds, warming his flesh; though he would have thought he’d be warm enough already with all the exercise he’d just done. He stood in the middle of the forest on Talon Pack land, safe enough behind the wards, and as alone as he could be.

As the Pack had made it a command that members come home and stay within the wards to be safe unless needed elsewhere, it was getting a bit crowded. If what his brother Kameron, the Enforcer, said was true, it might get even more crowded soon. It seemed Washington had a bill on the table that would force those of non-human nature to remain behind the wards for the long term.

Caged.

Forgotten.

Ryder didn’t doubt that Kameron was right about those details, as it was his job as Enforcer to know about outside forces threatening the Pack. But that didn’t mean Ryder wanted to deal with the outcome. He would, though. As always.