Matt & Brooklyn: A Standalone in the "Again for the First Time" Family Saga (AFTFT Book 2) (9 page)

I honestly didn’t want to talk about it anymore, but I answered anyway. “Ironically, the more I try to brainstorm other angles, the more I realize it probably won’t work.” Nick and his situation came back to mind.

“I’m sorry,” she said again, leaving me to wonder what it was exactly she felt sorry about this time until she clarified. “I know how passionate you were about the film. It can’t be easy just letting it go like this, but I get it.”

I nodded, thinking about how easy this would’ve been if Nick hadn’t been such a screw-up. However, just as easily as the thought entered, I dismissed it. This film, the possibility of it actually happening, was basically water under the bridge at this point.

The sound of Brook yawning again drew my attention toward her.

“Seriously?” I joked. “You never could hang.”

She smiled big and let her eyes drift closed, keeping them that way when she answered, “It’s this doggone country music lulling me into a coma.”

I laughed and eased toward the edge of my bed. “I’m gonna go grab a glass of water. Want something?”

She shook her head, still not bothering to lift her lids. “Nope, I’m fine.”

“Okay. Be right back.”

With that, I gently moved her feet out of the way and left the bed. When I glanced back, she was still resting her eyes. I made it to the kitchen and took a glass from the cabinet. The talk was going well. We felt normal again, leaving me to wonder if I’d only imagined all the weirdness. Here it was, a little past midnight, and we were chilling like old times.

Feeling my way through the dark with my drink in hand, I pushed the door to my bedroom open and found something that shouldn’t have surprised me—Brook fast asleep on her outstretched arm. Apparently my music
had
lulled her into a coma. She looked comfortable, though, like I shouldn’t wake her, so I decided not to. First lowering the volume on the stereo, I set my glass down and headed out to the living room to get the blanket I kept on the back of the couch. I stood near her and gently spread it over her bare feet, then the rest of her. She shifted a little, but didn’t wake up.

Right before I took my seat, my phone vibrated on the nightstand—
Cliff.
Not wanting to wake Brook, I stepped out into the living room and answered.

“Hey.”

“Good, you picked up,” he said on the other end.

“Yeah, I was just about to turn in. What’s up?”

Papers rustled in the background and I pictured him either still at the office, or working out of the one in his home. “Just got an email from Pete. He’s on location in Albuquerque, New Mexico and he wants you to fly out sometime Sunday to join up with him. Probably so you can get a feel for working with him firsthand before things take off with the project he wants you on.”

After the talk I just had with Brook about the documentary not happening, this was just what I needed to lift my spirits. Brook was leaving out Sunday, too, so I could just book a flight to New Mexico for some time after she headed back to Lindmore. The timing was all perfect.

“Uh… yeah! Sounds great. I’ll get my ticket as soon as we get off the phone and email you my itinerary.” This was
great
news.

“Sounds good,” Cliff answered. “And Matty?” he called out.

“Yeah, I’m still here.”

He didn’t speak right away, leaving me to wonder what was on his mind. “I’m proud of you, kid.”

A smile stretched across my face. Everything was happening so fast. It wasn’t lost on me that what I was experiencing wasn’t typical. I knew these breaks were rare, which was why I wore myself out during the week, trying to be everywhere at the same time. I was hungry for this. My parents taught us that hard work was the only way to achieve greatness, and I believed that, and now it all seemed to be paying off.

I thanked cliff and ended the call. It took everything in me not to wake Brook and tell her the good news, but she looked too peaceful to disturb her. We’d talk about it tomorrow.

I took my seat again and went over my schedule on my phone, looking at what I had planned for tomorrow. Another full day ahead for me, but Brook didn’t seem to mind entertaining herself until I got back. I bought my plane ticket to Albuquerque, sent the itinerary to Cliff like I said I would, and then got up to turn out the light. The sound of Brook snoring had me laughing, quietly so I wouldn’t wake her. She wouldn’t believe it when I told her about it tomorrow, but that wouldn’t stop me from making fun of her.

Lying there with a few feet of space between us, I watched her through what little light managed to make it through the window. She was as beautiful today as the first day I fell for her; maybe even
more
so. Pretending not to be in love with her was harder than she would ever realize, but it’s like I said; I know deep down she feels something, too.

I had no idea what made her who she was—protective of her heart like a woman who’d been burned before, cold when she felt herself getting too close to someone—but even through all that, I saw who she
really
was. Brook was the best person I’d ever met. She had drive like I’d never seen before; her heart was big and I couldn’t help but to want her to let me all the way inside it. Maybe that was what kept me holding on; knowing that, when and if she ever gave in, what we’d have would be incredible.

Nothing could make me give up on this woman.

Not time. Not distance. Not the challenge of winning her heart.

Nothing.

She’d had me in knots since day one, and she knew as well as I did, no one could undo that but her.

*****

Brooklyn

It took me a few seconds to get my bearings, but the first thing I saw was Matt lying on his stomach beside me in his bed, stretched out across it sideways.

It was still dark, but how long had I been asleep?

…in his bed.
I couldn’t believe I’d done that.

My first thought was to get up and go to my own room because this was inappropriate on sooo many levels, but I didn’t move right away, even knowing I should have. Instead, I lie there staring at him, watching as his back rose and fell with each slow breath he took—smooth, tight skin, tanned by the California sun, covering the contours of muscle that came naturally to him. At the thought of it, I smiled a bit, unable to recall even one time this man had been to a gym. And with the way he ate, it was a miracle he and I could even
fit
in this bed together. He was just like this all on his own, though. No workout required to achieve this…. this…

When I realized ‘
perfection’
was the word I was searching for, I tore my eyes away from him and sat up straight in the bed.

‘All right, Brook, that’s enough,’
I thought to myself.

I eased my way down to the end of the bed and only managed to place one foot on the carpet when Matt rolled over onto his back. I think I shifted the mattress too much. A heavy sigh left his lips, but he didn’t open his eyes. I finally stood and was just about to finish making my exit, but instead my eyes traveled down his chest, then to the effortless definition in his stomach, and then lower…

…lower to the bulge at the front of his sweats.

‘Quit staring!’
I yelled inside my head, but I didn’t even blink.

His stomach flexed and released when his breathing deepened again and I wet my lips. There, through the material, I could make out details of my best friend’s anatomy that I’d never seen and tried not to imagine the few times my mind wandered there on its own. This was wrong. I knew it was, but still I kept my eyes trained on him, the cuts of muscle at his hips, the ones that formed a
V
at his pelvis. Sparse, dark-colored hairs could be seen in the moonlight, forming a trail from his naval and then disappearing below the waistband of his sweats. My hands tightened into fists when the urge to touch him became too strong.
Was this what he felt when I caught him watching me on the deck earlier?

I’d never looked at him this way—
sexually.
Well… I take that back. He’s attractive, so of course the thought had crossed my mind before, but I’d never objectified him like I was now. It couldn’t be helped, though. He was right in front of me, on display, and I could see
everything—
his length, thickness.
I drew in a deep breath and focused on the way it pressed against the fabric. I imagined myself touching him, running my hands over every inch of skin, feeling the firmness of his flesh against my palms. I think the thing that made it most difficult to walk away was knowing that, if I was to give him the all-clear, he would absolutely be down for whatever.

I was literally shaking when I finally left his room. It wasn’t easy to admit that the reaction was the result of how turned on I was just at the sight of him, but that was the truth. The man I called ‘friend’ was unfortunately one of the hottest I’d ever met. The proof was the moisture that had collected in the seat of my panties just from looking at him. Things with us were changing fast,
too
fast… but I was beginning to wonder if it was too late to do anything about it.

…or if it was even worth fighting at this point.

Chapter Five

Brooklyn

Over the next couple days, I focused on forgetting the wayward thoughts and feelings that assaulted me the night I found myself in Matt’s bed. I awoke this particular morning to a perfectly quiet, empty house, just like it had been the few before it. A yawn accompanied the long stretch I had when I finally got tired of staring at the ceiling and climbed out of bed. The clock read eight o’clock and I smiled at the thought of having no obligations for yet another day other than doing the exact same thing I’d
been
doing—lying out by the beach, soaking up the sun and beautiful weather. Well… aside from Matt’s friends’ wedding, but that wouldn’t be until this evening.

I made my way to the bathroom with my toothbrush in hand and turned the shower on while I brushed so the water could get hot like I liked it. Matt had made a habit of leaving me a fresh washcloth and towel on the counter, a gesture that made me smile seeing as how I was perfectly capable of going to the linen closet and getting them myself. Securing my shower cap over my hair, I climbed into the large, tiled shower with a big grin on my face. This house wasn’t the biggest or newest in the area, but the amenities and upgrades were to die for. The bathroom, for instance, had heated floors and the water flowed from the showerhead like a waterfall. I was absolutely in heaven.

After I washed, I wrapped myself in the plush, white towel and went back to my room. The breeze from outside carried with it the scent of the ocean just a short walk away. Even from my room, when the house was quiet, I could hear the waves accompanied by the sound of a wind chime Matt said the previous owners had left behind. I pulled out the dress I planned to wear later that evening and then sat down on my bed.

Already, I knew which bathing suit I’d wear for the day. My book was sitting out on the dresser and with hours to kill before I needed to get ready for the wedding, I had plans to finish it. However, when I stood, the sound of a heavy downpour against the window instantly changed my plans.

“Noooo,” I whined to myself, heading over to look outside. It was really coming down. Storm clouds hovered above and I was pretty sure it wouldn’t let up anytime soon. I’d been here four days and this was the first time I’d seen rain, but that didn’t stop me from being upset about it.

I found something comfortable to put on and returned my bathing suit to the drawer, deciding to grab my book and read on the living room couch instead. I took the small blanket from the foot of my bed and plopped down on the cushions of the white sofa with that perfect view of the ocean. To my surprise, I discovered that it was still just as beautiful to look at, rain or shine.

The rest of my day consisted of reading, grabbing bowls of cereal when I got hungry, and napping. In fact, I napped more than anything else. I blamed it on the intoxicating symphony of heavy rain and choppy water, but whatever it was, I was knocked out. Matt closing the front door woke me from my longest snooze yet and I popped my head up from the throw pillow. Peeking over the back of the couch, I locked eyes with him as he propped his umbrella against the wall.

He smiled and I rubbed my eyes. “What time is it?” I asked groggily.

He checked his phone while using the toe of one shoe to brace the heel of the other so he could step out of it. “A little after four,” he answered.

“Oh my gosh. I can’t believe I slept that long. I should be getting ready for the wedding.” I sat up slowly, smoothing my hair. “You must think I’m such a bum. Either I’m lounging outside or slobbing on your couch.”

He laughed at that. “Yeah, right. If anything, I wish I could be here doing the same. I hate that I haven’t been around much.”

He was right. He hadn’t been here much, but I didn’t mind. Life still went on for him with or without me here. I waved him off as he came my way, dropping a few pieces of mail near the lamp on the table behind the sofa.

“You know I don’t mind that, right? You having to work?”

He nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets as he took in the same scenery outside that’d put me to sleep. “I know,” was all he said back. He looked so tired, which I knew he had to be.

“Sit with me,” I demanded, slapping the cushion beside me on the couch.

A faint smile touched his lips again and he did as I asked, coming around with slow steps. The couch depressed when he sank into it and my body shifted toward his, my knee pressing against his thigh.

Touching his arm just beneath the hem of his t-shirt, I got his attention. “How was your day?”

My question made him grin again, leading me to think that he had something good to share.

“What is it?” I asked, feeling the excitement growing inside me despite the fact that Matt hadn’t told me anything yet. Last night when we spoke about his documentary, it hurt me to the core to see how disappointed he was that it wasn’t likely to happen. Maybe that had changed, though. Maybe that was why he was in a better mood now.

I shifted in my seat a bit. I understood why the idea of doing a follow-up made Matt hesitant. Nick was bad off. Lissy didn’t talk about it much, but I caught bits and pieces over the past few months just listening to her and Luke. They’d discuss things like taking meals Lissy prepared over to him every now and then, loaning him money, and for a while they’d even considered letting him crash at their house because he was about to lose his apartment. At first, I didn’t understand why Lissy would go out of her way like that, how she could be so nice to someone who, let’s be honest, didn’t deserve it. That was just my sister’s way, though. She had a forgiving heart. Always had.

Now might be a weird time to say it, but I admired Matt; how good he was. It was like he said before, Nick wouldn’t object to doing the film, but Matt had taken it into his own hands to protect his brother because he cared. Even at the risk of missing this opportunity, at the risk of losing out on a lot of money… family came first with him. Because of that, he deserved whatever good came to him.

I touched his hand and his gray eyes lifted toward mine. There were words I was supposed to say, something along the lines of complaining that he was taking too long to share, but
all
words slipped my mind. His stare… it made everything go blank.

“I uhh... you have good news?” I finally asked.

He shrugged and remained tight-lipped, just to mess with me. “Maybe.”

I cocked my head to the side. “…Seriously, Matt?

The corners of his mouth lifted again.

“Tell me!” I yelled.

Before speaking, he blew out a breath and I got more comfortable beside him, turning in his direction with my legs crossed Indian-style. I watched him and waited.

“I got a call last night. From Cliff.”

Okay… maybe this
was
about the documentary.

“Apparently, you won’t be the only one leaving Sunday. Pete wants me in New Mexico with him for a couple days to get a feel for things.” Matt paused and it hit me how real this was. This was really happening for him.

“That’s incredible… seriously,” I replied, stopping myself from hugging him like I almost did.

He nodded and smiled modestly, pretending like he wasn’t as amped about this as I knew he had to be. “I still can’t wrap my mind around getting to work with someone of his caliber up close and personal. The experience I’ll gain from this…” he stopped and shook his head, letting it sink in. “I just don’t understand how I got so lucky.”

I frowned. He was crazy to think this was all happening by chance. “Are you kidding me? Matt, luck has nothing to do with it. This is all you… because you’re freaking brilliant.”

When I looked up, I found Matt smiling at me. My gut twisted and I readjusted myself on the couch again. On cue, my knee warmed where it pressed deeper into his thigh, making me more aware of the point of contact between his body and mine. Casually, I changed positions and moved away, putting a few inches of space between us.

Feeling his eyes on me still, a sheepish, “What?” slipped from my lips.

The corners of Matt’s mouth lifted even more. “You called me brilliant,” he teased.

I shoved his arm. “Oh my gosh,
please
get over yourself.”

His deep laugh off to my left made me glance at him again even though I’d already warned myself to stop doing that, to stop looking at him.

“Say it again,” he teased.

I laughed—
ugh… on second thought, it was more of a giggle
;
he made me freaking giggle like a little girl
—and was about to scoot sideways to the edge of the couch. Aside from realizing that I needed to get ready for the wedding, there was also this strange urge to move away from him in general.

Quickly.

These past few days, Matt had been having some sort of strange effect on me. To say that it made me uncomfortable was an understatement.

“Just say it one more time,” he said again, mock-begging. “For me.”

At first I was cracking up right along with him, but all of a sudden even the smile had left my face. It left because a set of large hands had slipped around my waist as I sat facing him. The grip was just strong enough to hold me in place, but it felt more powerful than the gentle pressure being applied. Something else, something unseen, kept me there. A tremor rippled up my back and I shivered, visibly shrinking into myself as if a current went through me. He had to have seen it, but his hands still didn’t leave my body. What started out as an innocent touch, now felt like much more.

The room was so quiet once his laugh trailed off. His hands became heavier at my sides, gently gathering the material of my shirt between his fingers as he held on. My breathing was erratic and choppy, but soon it ceased altogether at the realization that I was being pulled in closer. Every fiber of my being was fighting this, screaming at me to pull away to avoid what I feared was coming next, but I couldn’t. The pull was too strong. For so many reasons, I didn’t want this, but my mind and heart disagreed with one another at the moment. Logic took a backseat to emotion.

Whatever lingered in the undertones of our friendship was supposed to stay buried. That was what I hoped would happen, anyway
.
I placed relationships low on my list of priorities for a reason—because I wanted to get my career off the ground first, because relationships were so unpredictable, because I hated the idea of my happiness being in someone else’s hands. I’d been vulnerable before, had given my all to someone before, and it blew up in my face then just like I was sure it would
this
time if I let things get that far, but… his lips were so close. I tasted them already although they hadn’t met mine yet.

I was sharing his air now, his heat. This wasn’t happening. This
couldn’t
be happening. No, Matt’s a friend and I—

Every ounce of fight was drained from my body with the feel of soft, warm lips… against my forehead instead of my mouth. His touch made me so weak my eyes fell closed. While this wasn’t what I expected, it still had quite the effect on me; had me all out of sorts.

The words, “Thanks for believing in me, Brook,” were spoken against my skin and all I could do was nod as Matt hugged me. “You have no idea how much that means to me.”

But I did have an idea. If this gesture was any indication, I definitely understood.

Matt let go and I tried to recover quickly from the embrace. Before he could catch on that I was overwhelmed by him, overwhelmed by him touching me, I hurried to get to my feet. “I um… I’m gonna go get ready,” was all I could say as I left the room. I didn’t rush off, but I think it was clear that distancing myself was intentional.

When I reached my room, I stood there, staring out the window at the storm that had lingered all day like I predicted. Something became clearer to me as I thought; when Matt pulled me in, when I thought he was going to kiss me… I didn’t pull away. If he’d gone for it, I would’ve let him.

And that scared the hell out of me.

Since coming to L.A., the lines had become so distorted. Being here with him had me feeling things I hadn’t before, and now, adding to the confusion and blurred lines, I was basically about to be his date for the evening.

It occurred to me that maybe
none
of this was new, these feelings. Maybe I was just getting to the point where I could no longer hide what had been there all along.