Matt—The Callahan Brothers (Brazos Bend Book 2) (28 page)

Matt saw a tear spill from Torie’s eyes. Crap. Could he possibly feel like more of a heel?

“You did the right thing, though,” Banning continued. “I know it. I knew all along that you weren’t as crazy about me as I was about you.”

Softly, Torie said, “That’s not a pleasant way to live.”

“That’s why we were both better off ending it when we did.” After a moment’s silence, he asked, “You okay?”

“Yes. I’m fine. Really, I am. I wanted you to know that I’m sorry and that there’s no hard feelings on my side.”

Banning let out a little laugh. “Despite my stalking you?”

Matt, Mark, and Torie all straightened and stared at the phone. “Stalking?” Torie asked.

“I should have taken it like a man. I’m ashamed of the way I kept calling after you moved out. Hope you didn’t go over on your minutes.”

“No.” Torie relaxed, smiled. “No.”

“Torie ... this fellow who broke your heart. Let me tell you something. If he’s too big a fool to see what a treasure he had in you, then you’re better off without him. You know that, don’t you?”

She turned away from Matt. “I do.”

“And don’t forget it. Hey, did you hear about Giorgio? He took a spill on a scooter in the Piazza Navona and broke both his legs.” That signaled a conversational turn to business, and Matt had heard enough. Exiting the study, he motioned for Mark to follow him.

Outside, Mark asked, “What’s going on with you and Torie? Tension was so thick in there you could have fried it and served it with syrup.”

Matt hesitated. He wasn’t accustomed to discussing his personal life with anyone, not even his brothers. Yet, he could use a sounding board right now. “She thinks she’s in love with me.”

“Uh duh. That’s obvious.”

“You knew?”

“After the looks I’ve seen her sneak your way, I figured as much. So, did you blow her off like all the others?”

“I didn’t blow her off.” Matt rested both hands on the porch rail and leaned his weight on it. “I didn’t ... well ... I didn’t do anything. I just sort of ... left.”

“You left her hanging.”

“Yes, that’s pretty much it.”

Mark propped his butt on the porch rail and shook his head at Matt. “You dipwad.”

“I didn’t know what to say to her.”

“Why? Did you forget what you usually say?”

It was a legitimate question. How many women had he left over the years when he sensed them growing too close? More than a few. He had a regular routine about it. A good excuse, a compliment, a gift. The kiss-off. “This isn’t a usual situation. Victoria isn’t like the others.”

“Now we’re getting somewhere.” Mark shoved away from the porch railing and took a seat in the rocking chair. Crossing his right ankle over his left knee, he asked, “Why is Torie different?”

“I don’t know!” Now Matt paced the porch. “It’s just so confusing. She’s so confusing. She’s a paparazzo, for heaven’s sake.”

“And this is relevant because ... ?”

“Because I’m at a crossroads, here. I’m a thirty-six-year-old former field agent with a bad leg and a desk job waiting for me. The days of movie stars and princesses are behind me. What’s ahead of me are ... are ... schoolteachers.”

Mark blinked twice. “You stupid idiot.”

Caught up in his own misery, Matt barely heard him. “She doesn’t think the vineyard is right for me. Thinks if I wanted this life, I’d already be living it. But she doesn’t know me. Doesn’t know what I want. I’ve always liked the idea of home and hearth. It just wasn’t time. Well, I’m not James effing Bond anymore, am I? I don’t need a Bond girl riding a Vespa and toting a camera. A vineyard and a casserole queen might be just the right thing for me. I always liked the idea of coaching Little League baseball.”

“You snobby stupid idiot,” Mark corrected. “So, what, she’s not good enough for you? Is that what you’re saying?”

“Of course not!”

“That’s what it sounds like to me. And I have to tell you, bro, it chaps my ass.”

Matt stopped, turned around, and faced his brother. “What kind of a comment is that?”

Now Mark shoved to his feet, the words exploding from his mouth like they’d been cooking in his gut for years. “Do you know how lucky you are to have a woman like Torie Bradshaw offer you her heart? Are you so dumb that you’d throw away a chance of happiness just because she doesn’t fit your vision of the woman you’re supposed to want at this stage in life? And to think I’ve always looked up to you, respected your intelligence. Shame on me for being such a dumbass.”

“Now, look.”

“No, you look.” Mark poked his shoulder with his finger. “I knew more at eighteen than you do today.”

“The hell you say.”

“I didn’t let preconceived notions blind me to possibilities. I didn’t let small-town prejudice limit me and as a result, I had the happiest two and a half years of my life. So take this as gospel, brother, and don’t attempt to give me advice ever again. I don’t listen to fools and fool you are if the reasons you’ve stated are the reasons you’re turning away from Torie Bradshaw.”

He turned to leave, but Matt stopped him with a hand on his arm. “What two and a half years, Mark? What are you talking about? Who are you talking about?”

His brother blinked. “I can’t believe I ... .”

“Talk to me, Mark.”

Mark looked away, gazed out toward the vineyard, his hands shoved in the back pockets of his jeans. Matt knew his brother well and he identified the signs of an inner struggle. His eyes clouded and he clenched his teeth so hard that a muscle in his jaw twitched. “Mark?”

Mark closed his eyes, swallowed hard, then said, “She reminds me of Carrie. Dammit, she reminds me so much of Carrie.” His voice broke on the repetition of the name.

“Who’s Carrie?”

“My wife.”

“Wife?” Matt’s jaw dropped. His eyes went wide. Mark married? When did this happen? “You never mentioned a wife.”

Mark rubbed the base of his ring finger on his left hand, but Matt didn’t think he realized it. He gazed blindly ahead. Or into the past. He spoke in a voice rough with emotion. “She was a waitress at a truck stop outside of Atlanta. She hadn’t finished high school. Carrie barely made enough money to keep a roof over her head, but she was ... alive. And she ... we ...” He closed his eyes. “I loved her. Oh, how I loved her.”

“What happened?”

Mark didn’t respond and Matt realized he’d lost his brother into his past. He didn’t know what to say. He wondered if Luke knew about this. Finally, sensing it was time to bring his brother back, he asked, “Where is your Carrie, Mark?”

“She ... died. Branch—” He broke off abruptly and shook his head. “Look, she’s gone. I don’t want to get into that. It’s over and done with.”

“But—”

“Leave it be.”

For the first time since John’s death, Matt saw tears in Mark’s eyes. Beyond stunned, he pushed no further.

“Just don’t be stupid where Torie is concerned, Matthew. You’ll regret it the rest of your life. Trust me. I know about regret.” With that, Mark hopped down from the porch and headed for the hill, taking long, determined strides.

Shocked by the news he’d learned, Matt stood gazing after him, gaping. A wife? A wife he’d never mentioned? Did Luke know? And Branch. What role did Branch play in the whole thing? Was that the source of Mark’s animosity toward their father? Matt had long suspected there was more to it than the resentment they all held against Branch in relation to John’s death.

“A wife.” Named Carrie. Torie reminded Mark of his wife, Carrie. “I’ll be damned.”

“Very possibly.” Torie stepped out onto the porch.

Matt bit off a curse. “Did you hear?”

“Enough.”

“I’m just ... . I don’t know what to say. Why didn’t he tell us?”

“I suppose he had his reasons. Whatever they may be, he’s still raw.”

“Yeah. I just ... wow.” Matt blew out a heavy breath as his brother’s words about regret echoed in his mind. “Torie—”

“No.” She waved her hand, cutting him off. “Back to Jason. Do you now agree that he isn’t our stalker?”

“Yeah.” Matt pulled his gaze away from Mark’s retreating figure and pinned Torie with a look. “Yeah. That man wouldn’t hurt you. He’s still in love with you.”

“He’s the one who risked his heart. It’s not my fault or my responsibility. I believe that, Callahan, all right?”

Matt understood that her comment offered him absolution, and yet ... “To quote a great philosopher of our age, ‘‘Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter like unrequited love.’”

She smiled with recognition. “Poor Charlie Brown. He’s better off without Lucy, though. I hope someday he realizes it.”

Matt watched his brother disappear over a hill.
I hope someday I don’t regret it.

***

He knocked on her door just before midnight.

Torie was still awake, reading a booklet called
Texas Wine Grape Guide
, published by the state Department of Agriculture, in hopes of boring herself to sleep. So far, it hadn’t worked. Her mind continued to spin.

Images clicked through her brain like a toy viewfinder out of control. Jason and her in Paris. Matt and her in the cenote. Her father. Her sister. Matt in the helicopter. Gigi in the bluebonnets.

Rap. Rap. Rap.
“Victoria?”

She set aside the booklet. “Come in, Matt.”

The door swung open and he stepped inside. He wore khakis and a blue button-down shirt with the Four Brothers Vineyard logo on the pocket. He’d attended a barbecue with Les in town earlier. Something about a planning meeting for the upcoming Texas Wine Trails spring promotion by the Texas Wine and Grape Growers Association. He’d asked her to attend with him, but she’d begged off, using a very real headache as an excuse. Mark had stayed at the lake house until his brother returned. She’d heard Mark leave for Les’s place forty-five minutes ago.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” Matt asked.

“All right.”

“How’s your headache?”

“Better.”

“Good.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth on his heels. “People in town are excited about getting their kid portraits tomorrow. Were you able to get hold of everyone, set up all the appointments?”

“Yes. I should be done by noon.”

“Good. Kathy Hudson wants us to come to lunch and I told her we’d be there. No catfish, though. I promise. She mentioned salads. Girl stuff.”

“That’s fine.”

When he made no move to leave, she folded her hands in her lap and practiced being patient. Finally, he said, “I want to apologize. For running off the way I did after you ... you ...”

“No need.”
Really no need
. “Let’s just forget about it, shall we?”

“I didn’t know what to say to you, Victoria. Honestly, I still don’t.”

“You don’t have to say anything, Callahan. I wasn’t asking for a reply. I told you what I told you because ... well ... it’s who I am. I don’t keep things inside of me.”

“That’s a good quality.”

“For a photographer, maybe. Probably not for a spy.”

“You matter to me, Torie.”

An electrocardiogram would have registered a definite spike at that. She mattered. Well, that was nice to know. Nothing to pin her hopes on, though, that’s for certain.

“I need you to know that, to believe that. It’s one of the few things I’m certain about right now.” As he spoke, he started pacing. Five steps up, five steps back. “This isn’t normal for me. Ordinarily, I’m a very decisive man. I can decide to shoot a man easier than to knock on your door tonight.”

“Relationships aren’t combat, Callahan.”

“In my experience, they are.” He stopped, rubbed the bridge of his nose, and muttered, “Maybe I should see a shrink.”

Okay, that was funny. She could picture him stretched out on a therapist’s couch. He’d have chosen a female therapist and the transference thing would happen except it’d go from doctor to patient rather than vice versa. She’d unpin her hair and shake it out; then she’d cross her legs and swing her foot, letting her shoe slide off her heel and hang just by the toe.

All right. Maybe it wasn’t so funny.

“Matt, there’s nothing wrong with you. With everything you have going on in your life, it’s no wonder you’re confused. You’ll figure everything out in good time. Just be patient with yourself.”

“How about you? Will you be patient with me?”

Whoa. His question echoed through her mind. Patient for what, exactly?

That took them to dangerous territory. Did she dare hope that while he tried to figure it all out, he might decide he loved her? Could she set herself up for that kind of fall? What about her pride? Mooning over a man who might never return her feelings ... well ... no. She’d stress eat. She’d probably get fat. Peanut butter had too many calories to keep eating when it didn’t taste good.

“You still don’t get it, do you?” She rose and approached him, fisted her hands and hit his chest. “You frustrate me to death. Listen up, Callahan. I don’t need patience because I’m not waiting on anything from you! I don’t expect anything. Well, aside from having you catch my stalker. I’m not asking for you to love me back, Matt. I just want ...”