Maude (6 page)

It was almost spring, the way Mrs. Connor said it
would be, when I felt the first labor pains. It was early
in the afternoon, and the pains were mild and about a
half-hour apart. I’d talked with some of the women at
the church about their deliveries and had seen Helen
deliver her babies, so I wasn’t worried. There was
plenty of time before the baby would be born.

When James came home from the store, I was
rocking on the porch. I told him, “I been getting
cramps all afternoon. I think the baby’s coming.”

I laughed at him. “We don’t need to hurry. It’ll
probably be tomorrow before it happens. Go tell him
it’s started and tell your mom. She’ll want to help us.”

He said, “Mom’s still up in Union City nursing
her sister. Dad thought she might get home today or
tomorrow, but we don’t know for sure.”

“Well, go let Dr. Wilson know. He’ll tell you
when to come get him. Like I said, it’ll probably be
tomorrow. Maybe your Mom will be home by then. I
know she wouldn’t want to miss it. Give me your
watch.”

We didn’t have a clock in the cabin, and I’d been
guessing the timing of the pains. He pulled his watch
out of his pocket and handed it to me, then he turned
and took off down the path. I smiled after him as he
ran full speed toward the doctor’s house.

After a few minutes, he came running back.
“Doc Wilson’s out at the Miller farm. Sister Miller’s
having her baby today, too. Sister Wilson said he ought
to be back soon ‘cause it’s the Miller’s fifth baby, and
she has an easy time of it.”

He looked terrified. I wasn’t at all afraid. I
reached out and took his hand. I knew that giving him
work to do would help him not to worry, so I said,
“Doctor Wilson will want lots of water to clean up, hot
water, and clean towels and blankets. Why don’t you
make the fire higher and start drawing the water?”

I could tell James was relieved to be able to do
something. He ran in the cabin, got the water bucket,
and made trips back and forth to the well. The first trip,
he went so fast that half the water splashed out of the
bucket. After that, he slowed to a normal walk. He
filled the kettle that hung on the hook in the fireplace
first and stoked up the logs to get them burning. After
that, he went up to the main house for extra linens and
piled them up on the little bedside table. Then he filled
all of the pots we had and brought more from his
mom’s house. It tickled me to watch him, and when he
gathered considerably more than I thought we would
need, I finally stopped him. By then it was growing
dark.

I’d still been having cramps about a half-hour
apart, but they were growing stronger. I stood and
stretched. “I think we should go in now, the night air
is coming down.”

James wrapped one arm around me and led me
inside as if he thought I couldn’t walk by myself. “Is
there anything else we need?”

I thought it over. It would help him to stay busy,
but I didn’t know of anything else he could do. “I guess
now we just have to wait. Let’s have some supper and
get some sleep.”

“I’ll fix it. You sit down and rest.”
“I’m all right,” I said. I laid the watch on the bed
table and started dinner. I’d had James kill a chicken
that morning, fried it for the noon meal, and left it
covered on the table. I pulled the cloth off and got out
some cornbread. We had that with a mess of greens left
warming in a pot next to the fire, and even though I
wasn’t hungry, I made an act of eating so James
wouldn’t notice and miss his meal. I tried not to show
it when the pains came, now a little closer together and
harder. I didn’t want to worry him.
After we’d eaten, I cleaned up and changed into
a nightgown, not one of my best, just something that
would do.
“Leave the lamp burning low,” I told him, “just
enough so I can see the watch.”
I folded a blanket and placed it under my hips so
if my water broke during the night the mattress
wouldn’t get wet, then we went to bed. In only a few
minutes, James’s breathing told me he’d fallen asleep,
so when the next few cramps came I pulled my knees
up and kept quiet. They were worse than before, but I
was still able to doze off between them.
About two in the morning I woke with a pain so
sharp I couldn’t catch my breath. The nature of the
pain had changed altogether. It wasn’t a cramp
anymore. No wonder Helen screamed. I held back a
cry, rolled over on my side and rode it out, staring at
the watch. After another five minutes, another one
washed over me. When it eased up, I shook James. He
was awake in an instant. “It’s time to go get the doctor.
I’m not going to make it until morning. Tell him I’m
sorry to get him out of bed.”
James pulled on his shirt and pants, kissed me on
the forehead, and ran out the door. I realized he was
barefoot. I hoped he wouldn’t catch cold.
After only a few minutes, he ran back in the
cabin. “Are you all right? Doctor Wilson will be here
in a little bit. He just got back from the Millers.”
He pulled a chair up next to the bed and clutched
my hand.Another pain came, and my whole body went
stiff. Even though I didn’t cry out, James’s face went
white. Finally, it passed, and I relaxed.
The doctor came and James jumped up out of his
seat, “The pains are real bad, doc.”
“Why don’t you wait out on the porch while I
look her over, James.”
James stopped at the door and looked back at us.
I could see that he wanted to stay, but I was glad to
have him gone.
“Go ahead, now,” the doctor said, waving his
hand towards the door. “I don’t need you here to tend
to.”
James shuffled out of the room and to the front
porch. I could see him standing there, almost pressed
up against the screen, straining to hear and see what
was happening inside.
Doctor Wilson sat on the chair and pressed his
palm against my stomach. “How far apart are the
pains, Maude?”
“Every few minutes, and the last ones were
awful hard.”
“Looks like it’s time. You’ll be fine.”
I thought his speech was slurred a little, and I
was sure I smelled liquor on his breath. I thought that
I must be wrong. He was a deacon at the church. He
would never drink alcohol. It must be the pains making
me think that. I looked hard at him. There were dark
circles under his eyes, and his hair hadn’t been
combed. “You look tired. Is the Miller baby all right?”
“He’s fine, he just took a lot longer than we
expected. He was breech, and it took a time to right
him.”
I wasn’t sure what that meant, but if it was all
right now, it couldn’t be too bad. I would ask James’s
mother about it later.
Another pain hit me. Doctor Wilson pressed his
hand harder against my stomach until it let up again.
“Let’s take a look,” he said, and pulled the covers
back.
Even though I knew Dr. Wilson delivered babies
all the time, it was embarrassing to have him see my
privates. I turned my head and looked at the wall until
he was finished. He said, “I can see his little head now.
When the next pain comes, I want you to push it on
out, Maude.”
I just nodded my head a little. The doctor put the
covers back up over my stomach, leaned back in the
chair and closed his eyes. It looked to me as if he’d
fallen asleep. It was only a matter of seconds until
another pain came, this one the worst of all. I pulled
my knees up and took a deep breath. I pushed as hard
as I could, and felt it slide out of me. The pain stopped.
Doctor Wilson was sound asleep.
“James,” I called.
James ran back in the room.
“I think it’s here, James. Wake up the doctor.”
James cursed, the first time I had ever heard him
do that, and shook the doctor’s arm. Doctor Wilson
jumped, and his eyes popped open.
“I think the baby’s here,” I said.
Doctor Wilson pulled the cover back down and
picked up the baby. “Sure is. I wish they were all that
fast.”
My heart raced. “It isn’t crying, is it all right?”
“She’s just fine. Not all babies cry, Maude.” He
held her up so I could look at her. The little face was
all scrunched up and she was blue, but she was waving
her little clenched fists in the air and seemed to be
breathing fine. Doctor Wilson tied off the cord and cut
it. He pressed on my stomach again, first on one side
and then on the other.
He looked the baby over and then wrapped it up
in one of the cloths and handed it to James. “She’s fine,
James, and I’m so tired I’m ready to fall over. I’m
going home. You’ll have to clean the baby up
yourself.”
Then he picked up his bag and left. James held
the baby away from him as if it were hot. He gaped
after the doctor’s back. “What do I do, Maude?”
“Just dip a cloth in the warm water and wipe her
down over and over until she’s clean. Keep her
covered up as much as you can so she doesn’t take a
chill.”
I longed to do the job myself, but I was so spent
I couldn’t even lift my head. James began the job of
washing our baby. He’d barely started when another
pain grabbed at me. I couldn’t help crying out. “I think
there’s another one coming, James. You better run after
Doctor Wilson and tell him.”
James laid our half-washed baby in its cradle and
pulled a little blanket up over her chest, then ran out
the door. He was back in a few minutes. “Sister Wilson
tried to get him up, but he just told her that there’s no
other baby in there, and you were fine. He said he’d
stop by tomorrow.”
Another pain came, not as strong as the ones
before the baby had come out, but a big pain just the
same. I felt the need to push again. I caught a deep
breath and bore down. Another mass slid out of me.
“Here it is, James. See if it’s all right.”
He pulled the covers back. “That’s not a baby. I
don’t know what that is.”
I tried to lift my head but I was too weak. “Run
up to the house and see if your mother’s back yet.”
He ran out of the room and was back in a minute.
“Dad says she’s not back yet, but he’ll send her as soon
as she gets here. Should I go get Helen or one of the
other women?”
“It’s the middle of the night, and they’ve all got
babies of their own to tend to. What does that thing
look like?”
“It’s almost as big as a baby, but it’s like a big
bag, and it’s blue and red and white and it’s got the
baby’s cord hanging from it. Lord Almighty! It’s
awful!”
I could hardly catch my breath. “It must be my
womb. It’s fallen out. What should we do?”
James paced back and forth and ran his fingers
through his hair, “I guess we should just try to get it
back in there.”
He worked at it and finally got it back up in me,
but after just a few minutes it slid back out.
He started pacing back and forth. “What are we
going to do, Maude? It won’t stay in there.”
I started crying. “I don’t know. Try to get back
again.”
James managed to shove the thing back up inside
me again, but it slid right back out.
I knew I had to get hold of myself for his sake.
He looked so scared that my heart ached for him. The
baby had started to cry. “We’ll just have to wait until
morning. It’s only a few hours until sunup. Help me sit
up, James.”
He leaned over me, and I put my arms around his
neck. He got me to a sitting position.
“Give me the baby, she wants to eat.” He picked
up the bundle and handed it to me. I uncovered my
breast and held the baby to it. She shook her head from
side to side and finally latched onto the nipple. She
rooted at it and began sucking and grunting.
James beamed. “Look at her go. She’s going to
be just fine, Maude.”
The nursing hurt, and that surprised me, but I
was so happy to see how lively the little one was that
I ignored the pain, and after a little while it let up. I
looked up at James.
I guess he was surprised by the expression on my
face. “What’s the matter, Maude? She’s fine.”
“She’s wonderful, but if I’ve lost my womb, we
won’t have any more babies. We won’t have a little
boy for you.”
“Little boy? I don’t care about that. Look at her
Maude, she’s beautiful, and she’s healthy, and she’s
got everything on her just perfect.”
“James, look at my womb again.”
He pulled the cover back and looked between my
legs. “What am I looking for, Maude?”
“Is it still attached to me?”
“No, it’s just lying there by itself.”
I couldn’t help crying. “Then I guess you might
as well go bury it. We can’t keep it here. It’ll never be
any good again.”
James nodded, picked up the mass, and wrapped
it in one of the cloths. He carried it outside.
I kept nursing the baby, switching it to the other
side after a few minutes the way I’d seen Helen do
with Faith. She was her father’s child, with blond fuzz
on her head just the way Faith had when she was born.
My heart swelled inside me. I hadn’t known it was
possible to love a thing so much.
When James returned, I was lying there sound
asleep with my baby sleeping on top of my stomach.
He told me the next day that the two of us made the
most beautiful picture he’d ever seen. He would have
liked to have a lot of children, but this one would be
enough.
We were still sound asleep in the late morning
when the screen door banged open and James’s mother
came in. “Where’s my grandbaby?” she said so loud
we both jumped.
I opened my eyes and smiled. I was full of pride
for the beautiful baby I’d made. “Right here, isn’t she
beautiful?”
Mom Connor picked up the child, unwrapped
her, and examined her from head to foot.
“A little girl. She’s perfect, just perfect. Look at
that blond hair, just like her daddy. She looks exactly
like he did when he came, only not as big. He was a
whelp for sure. Did you have a hard time, Maude?
How long did it take you?”
“It started easy in the middle of the afternoon and
didn’t get real bad until around two this morning, but
she came quick after that, around four.”
James sat up. “I’d get up, but Mom hasn’t seen
me in my underpants in years.” He just sat there, a big
grin on his face.
“Get up boy, get that fire stirred up. We don’t
want Maude and this baby to freeze to death.”
He got his pants off the floor where he’d dropped
them and stepped into them, then pulled on his shirt
and went to stoke the fire.
Mrs. Connor rocked the baby in her left arm. She
reached over and smoothed my hair with her right
hand. “The first one’s always the hardest, Maude. The
next one will come real fast. You’ve got a good body
for it.”
I shook my head and started crying. James put
his hand on his mother’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, mom,
there won’t be any more babies.”
“Why? It couldn’t have been that bad. Your
daddy said the doctor got here in time. Did he say there
wouldn’t be another?”
“No, he didn’t say that.”
“Then what makes you think you won’t want
more?”
I wiped the tears off my face with the blanket.
“Because I lost my womb.”
“What? What do you mean, you lost your
womb?”
“The doctor left right after she came and James
had to wash her off. My womb came out and we
couldn’t get it to go back. James had to bury it out
back.”
Mrs. Connor took a minute to figure out what
had happened. “Maude, you were there when Helen
had her babies. Did you see the whole thing?”
“No, they gave me the babies to clean up as soon
as they came out. I took them to the kitchen to wash
them.”
“Well, no wonder. What came out of you after
the baby was a natural thing. It’s called afterbirth. You
still have your womb. You’re going to be just fine. You
can have as many babies as you want.”
“Really?” Then Mom Connor and I began to
giggle. James stared at us. I took my mother-in-law’s
hand. “You mean, it was supposed to come out like
that?”
“Of course, that happens with every baby. You
wait until I see that doctor. I’ll give him what-for for
leaving here without finishing the job.” We laughed
louder.
“What in the world are you two laughing about?”
James asked. “That isn’t funny. We thought Maude
was dying.”
I shook my head, unable to stop giggling. “We
kept trying to put it back.” I was so relieved, so happy
to know that someday I could still give James the son
he wanted.
“Lord have mercy!” Mrs. Connor said,
practically doubling over with the laughter. The noise
woke the baby, who began crying. Mom Connor
handed her to me. “Has she nursed yet?”
James was beaming. “She sure has, Mom, watch
her.”
My embarrassment was overcome by my pride
in the fine job I was doing at being a mother. I opened
the front of my gown and put my baby to my breast.
She fastened herself to it right off and began working
for her breakfast.
My baby’s grandmother looked at her and
smiled. “Look at her. She sure is a lively one. She’ll be
strong and healthy. You did real good, Maude, real
good. What are you going to name her?”
I smiled and gazed down at my daughter. “I don’t
know. I had three or four names picked out, but I never
did make up my mind.”
“Well, she sure is a lulu of a baby. She needs a
name.”
It was James’s turn to laugh. “Then that’s what
her name will be, Lulu.”
Mrs. Connor looked at me. “Is that all right with
you, Maude?”
The name hadn’t been on my list, but if James
liked it, it was good enough. “That’ll be fine, if that’s
what her daddy wants.”