McKenzie (29 page)

“On the contrary, Mother, I have maligned his character and caused him much pain. I led him to believe that I married him for love—or, at least, a commitment that would lead to that—when nothing could have been further from the truth.”

“Well, it appears you’re not going to be accompanying me back to Boston, and that this has been a wasted trip.” Her mother sighed dramatically. “I suppose I shall go pack my things so that when Lawrence returns, we can leave and catch the stagecoach to the train depot.”

“Mother, you needn’t leave so soon. Please, stay and visit for a few days.” McKenzie studied her mother’s face as she considered her proposition, noticing that she appeared older and more fatigued than when last she’d seen her. Wrinkles that McKenzie had never noticed before had begun to take up residence in her mother’s soft, polished cheeks, and her tall, slender frame appeared more fragile than McKenzie remembered. She suddenly felt herself soften toward her mother. “Mother, I know you were only trying to help me escape from a bad situation. I honestly appreciate that, but there is no bad situation from which I need to be rescued. Please, stay for several more days, and let me prove to you that the words I have spoken to you are true. Stay and come to know the people and places that now mean so much to me.”

After a moment’s hesitation, her mother shook her head. “I see no reason why I should. Never before have you and I had so significant a disagreement. No, McKenzie, I believe it’s time I return to where I belong. If you insist on confining yourself to this unsophisticated culture, so be it. However, I’ll not stay longer, no matter how short the visit.” She sighed. “Perhaps I should do what I can to find Kaydie while I’m in the Montana Territory.”

“Mother, we have placed advertisements in numerous territorial newspapers. Kaydie or someone who knows her is bound to see one of those advertisements and alert her. Until then, there is nothing more we can do. Zach and I were told in Canfield Falls that Kaydie and Darius had traveled somewhere further west. Given the vastness of the area, there is no way we can locate her by merely traveling from town to remote town.” McKenzie took a step closer to her mother. Regardless of their differences, she loved her mother and always would. McKenzie would honor and respect her opinion, no matter how difficult a task that would prove. However, she wished things could be different between them. She longed to share the same love and camaraderie with her mother that she shared with Rosemary.

“Mother,” McKenzie persisted, “please, stay.”

She reached for her hands, but her mother took a step back and kept them at her sides, closed her eyes, as if suffering a headache, and then opened them again. “This is not the reunion I had envisioned with you, McKenzie. I had anticipated that you would gratefully follow me back home, that you would appreciate the sacrifice I made by traveling far from the comforts of civilization for the sake of your welfare. What will I tell your father when I come home without you?”

“Tell him what I have told you. He will understand in time, just as I know you will.” McKenzie stepped closer and reached down, taking her mother’s hands in hers.

This time, her mother didn’t pull away but rather gripped her daughter’s hands. “It seems just yesterday that you were a baby, McKenzie. There was so much potential within you. Your father always said that if you had been a boy, you would have been the best lawyer in the city. You could have joined him in his practice, and—” She stopped and swallowed audibly.

“Mother, I am not throwing my life away by making this decision. On the contrary, I feel that this is where I am meant to be. Besides, I plan to make plenty of visits to Boston. I would love for Father to meet Zach and Davey. I have told Davey all about the candy stores there, and he can’t wait to set foot inside one.” McKenzie smiled as she imagined the look on Davey’s face when he saw the shelves lined with every type of candy imaginable. “Zach was born in Chicago, and he spent a good part of his life there. I’m sure he would enjoy seeing a city again. I intend to make a family trip to Boston once we find Kaydie, provided Zach is in agreement. And I’m sure he will be.”

McKenzie grasped her mother’s hands tighter. “And this is not good-bye. You will always be my mother, and I will always care about you and love you. Just because we have different opinions doesn’t mean we have to discard our family ties.” McKenzie silently thanked God that the anger she’d harbored only a few minutes ago had subsided.

“Well, if you put it that way…” her mother said. “I’ll never agree with your choice to stay here, and I’ll never understand your reasoning. But, as you say, our differing opinions don’t necessitate discarding our family ties.”

McKenzie nodded. “There is just one matter I need to fix. I must find some way to repair my marriage and seek Zach’s forgiveness. I’m not sure that will ever happen, but I hope it does.” McKenzie blinked away the tears that were pooling in her eyes. “I only hope he does forgive me, Mother. I have never felt for anyone else what I feel for Zach.” Her voice shook as she spoke the words.

Would Zach understand why she’d lied? Would he find it in his heart to pardon her lapse in judgment? What if he didn’t? What if he sent her away on the stagecoach with her mother? What if he told her he no longer loved her? Concerns crowded McKenzie’s mind and became almost unbearable. Finally, unable to contain herself any longer, McKenzie began to sob. Never had she cried so much in her life. Never had she had so much to lose.

“Now, now,” her mother said. “If his love for you is as strong as you say it is, he will forgive you and want to remain married to you.” In an uncharacteristic move, she reached over and patted McKenzie tentatively on the back.

McKenzie responded by leaning closer to her mother and putting her arms around her. “I know that I may get tears on you, Mother, and that—”

“Shh. That’s quite enough,” her mother said. She returned the embrace, and McKenzie could tell that it was awkward and ungraceful, but it comforted, just the same.

“Mother, I love you,” McKenzie said, looking up at the woman who held her.

Her mother remained silent for a moment, then whispered, “I—I love you, too.”

“Thank you, Mother. Thank you for saying that.” McKenzie buried her face in her mother’s dress.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t say it long ago, McKenzie.” Her mother sighed. “I have so many regrets.”

“Instead of having regrets, Mother, make changes. Pray that God will show you how. That’s what I had to do. And, you know what? It works. He works.”

“I would like to start over with you, McKenzie. I may have lost one daughter already.” She sniffled. “I hope Kaydie is all right, but….”

“I know that she’s all right. I have faith that God has kept her safe. Zach also has faith that she is safe. We will find her, Mother, and everything will be fine.”

“I hope so,” her mother said. “I truly do.”

With her finger, McKenzie twirled one of the tendrils that had come loose from her braid. “Mother, I wish so that things had turned out differently. I wish that you had come for the purpose of visiting me and meeting the man I love.”

“I’m not sure I can understand or accept all you are telling me,” her mother said with a sigh. “But, you are my daughter, and so I will stay a few more days, if it is important to you that I do so. Perhaps, then, I can better comprehend why Zach, the boy, and this town mean so much to you.”

“Thank you, Mother,” McKenzie said. She knew that it would take time for her mother to realize what was really important in life, just as it had for her. But McKenzie rejoiced in the baby steps her mother had taken in the past few minutes.

***

Zach stood on the porch for quite some time, listening to the conversation between McKenzie and her mother. He knew it wasn’t right to eavesdrop, but his feet wouldn’t move. He hadn’t heard the entire conversation, but he had heard enough to know that although things were different, and it would take some time, everything was going to be all right. God was still in control. He also knew that McKenzie wasn’t the only one who needed forgiveness.

McKenzie, can we talk?” Zach asked. So much had already happened that morning that he wasn’t sure if he could handle more, but he knew that the sooner he and McKenzie sorted things out, the better.

“Yes,” McKenzie said. She followed him to the barn, where he began saddling the horses.

“I hope you don’t mind going for a ride again,” he said.

McKenzie shook her head. “I’m beginning to enjoy riding—when I don’t fall off,” she said, smiling feebly.

Zach and McKenzie rode in silence until they came to the ridge overlooking the ranch. There, they stopped Cinnamon and Sugar and dismounted. When the horses had been tethered, Zach motioned for McKenzie to join him in the shade of an aspen tree.

“So, your mother has agreed to stay for a few days? She certainly seems to have a new outlook on ranch life,” Zach said.

“She wanted to start fresh and get acquainted with you and Davey.” McKenzie shifted her weight, looking somewhat unsure of what to say or do.

Zach removed his hat and squinted down at the ranch. “It’s a nice day, isn’t it?” He felt equally unsure of where to start or how to repair the damage that had been done to their relationship. All morning, since overhearing McKenzie’s conversation with her mother, he had prayed for the right words to say. He’d prayed that God would guide him and bridle his tongue so that nothing unnecessary would be uttered.

“McKenzie—”

“Zach—”

When they realized they’d both spoken at the same time, they laughed. “You go first,” Zach said.

“I want to apologize, Zach. I—I didn’t want to like you, let alone fall in love with you. I didn’t want to like it here, and I for sure didn’t want to be Davey’s mother. When I first arrived in Pine Haven, all I could think about after meeting you was how ridiculous this plan was, how obliging you were, and how pathetic my surroundings appeared.” McKenzie paused. “I came with one purpose, and one purpose only: to find Kaydie, whatever the cost. To do that, I needed support and assistance, and I decided to inure myself to the pain of anyone who might get hurt along the way. In the midst of my manipulative plan, while I was using you and looking forward to the day I’d leave this place, I fell in love with you. I—I never expected that to happen.” Softly, she began to sob.

Zach put his arm around McKenzie and pulled her to him. “McKenzie, it will be all right.”

“No, Zach. I was so wrong. How could I have used you the way I did? How could I have lied about your integrity? You have been nothing but kind and generous to me, while I’ve been so….” McKenzie sniffled and looked up at him. “I pray that you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

“I forgive you, McKenzie,” Zach said, surprised by how effortless it felt. “I didn’t want to forgive you at first. I was so hurt that you could even do such a thing. I took seriously every promise I made to you, and I thought that you made the same promises in sincerity. I just felt like a dupe when I found out the true reason you’d married me. Somehow, I failed to see how unlikely it would be for someone like you to seek out someone like me.”

“Oh, Zach. It was such a ludicrous idea to begin with, and then, when you continued to correspond with me, I was stunned. It all began to happen so quickly, and everything seemed to be falling into place. When I arrived here, I tried to keep my distance, tried to stop myself from returning your affection, but it didn’t work.” McKenzie’s lip quivered, and she rubbed her teary eyes with her knuckles.

Zach placed a finger gently on McKenzie’s mouth. “You don’t have to say any more, my sweet McKenzie. I was wrong not to want to forgive you, especially given all the times I’ve needed the Lord to forgive me. I ask you to forgive me, as well, for not immediately showing you the same mercy and grace I have continually received from God.”

“Of course, I forgive you, Zach.”

“Then, it’s settled. You know, Asa told me we would have many more fights during our marriage. My pa always told me not to make a fuss over the small things. I guess I have a lot to learn.” Zach paused. “In order for our marriage to be one of trust, we have to feel we can talk honestly with each other at all times, about anything.”

“I agree with you, Zach. No more secrets.” McKenzie paused for a moment, searching his eyes. “It’s not too late, then?”

“Too late for what?”

“Too late for us? For our marriage?”

Zach placed his hands tenderly on both sides of McKenzie’s face. “No, it’s not too late. Not if you’ll have me. I can’t promise you the things you are accustomed to—the material wealth you’ve known your entire life—but I do promise you one thing. I promise to love you always.”

“I told my mother I don’t want to return to Boston. I want to stay here—to be your wife, to be Davey’s mother, to begin our future together.”

“May nothing ever come between us,” Zach said. He kissed her then with all the love that was in his heart at that moment—and all the love that was to come.

Kaydie sat back in her seat on the stagecoach and watched the passing scenery out the window. The trip had already been a long one, and it wasn’t over yet. Her anxiousness at the possibility of seeing her sister again made the journey seem even lengthier. Questions filled her mind: What if McKenzie was no longer in Pine Haven? What if she was still angry at Kaydie for eloping with Darius? For McKenzie was Kaydie’s closest sister and best friend, but she’d had no shortage of words to inform Kaydie of her low opinion of Darius and her disapproval of his moving Kaydie so far from her family. Still, McKenzie had placed the advertisement, which Kaydie never would have seen had it not been for the Lord’s perfect timing and His bringing Ethel into her life.

What if neither McKenzie nor their parents would allow her to stay with them until she found some way to support herself and her baby? Kaydie shuddered at the thought of being alone with no home, no food, and no way to provide for her baby.

Who was this Zach Sawyer McKenzie had married, and how had she met him? If he had a ranch in the Montana Territory, he was about as opposite as could be from what Kaydie thought to be McKenzie’s ideal. She remembered how infatuated her sister had been with Dr. Louis Clarence III. Whatever had become of that relationship?