Meant for Love (3 page)

She let her hands drop from his shoulders. “I know.”

“I’ll see you around, Jenny the lighthouse keeper.”

“See you around, Alex the lawn mower.”

He kissed her again and was gone, leaving her to sag against the wall as she tried to comprehend what had just happened here. Jenny reached under her tank to adjust her bra, which rubbed against abraded nipples. Through the window, she watched his long stride eat up the yard as he made his way back to the beast. When he bent to retrieve the discarded headset, she zeroed in on the flex of his ass as a bead of sweat rolled down her back.

She might’ve never done anything like that before, but she sure did hope she’d get to do it again. Soon. After all, the grass needed to be mowed regularly, right?

Jenny blew out a deep breath and tried to find her scattered senses as she went upstairs to check on the brownies she’d put in the oven for the lunch she and some of her friends were taking to Sydney Donovan, who’d recently had surgery. Thankfully, the brownies hadn’t burned while she was heating things up with Alex in the mudroom.

Alex… She liked his name. She’d always liked that name. Naturally, she was filled with curiosity about him. Who was he? What was his story? At their age, everyone had one. Some, she knew, were better than others. Of course, she could ask her friends, who would probably know every detail about him and his life. But as she took the brownies out to cool, she decided she’d keep this morning’s interlude to herself. Who knew if it would happen again, and her friends had gone to so much trouble to arrange the dates with Mason and Linc and were working on others. Why would she sacrifice the chance to meet some nice guys because of what would probably turn out to be a one-time lapse in judgment with the lawn guy?
 

She wouldn’t. It would be stupid to share what’d happened with Alex with her friends. First of all, she’d hate for them to think she was loose or easy, which she wasn’t. At all. Or at least she never had been. Until today. Anyway, she didn’t want them to think she was that kind of girl, and she didn’t really want to
be
that kind of girl.
 

Girl. Woman. Whatever. She’d never been loose with guys and had no intention of starting now. If anyone had told her yesterday that this day would unfold the way it had, she would’ve called them crazy.
 

Jenny stood in the kitchen for a long time, attempting to collect herself. She needed to go out to the main road and open the gates to let in the tourists who swarmed the lighthouse property every day. It was one of the more popular spots on the island, and it was time to open for the day.

She usually walked the half mile to the gate and back because she enjoyed the exercise. Except she’d have to walk by
him
as he worked on the lawn. So she made an exception to her usual routine and grabbed her car keys. She could easily blame the heat for her cowardice, she thought as she got into her car and blasted the air-conditioning.

In her former life in New York, she couldn’t have conceived of a life without air-conditioning. And for the most part, she was fine without it at the lighthouse. She could always count on a cool ocean breeze, but the unusual heat wave had made for some sweaty days and nights. And it had led a sexy lawn guy to take a shower under her hose.

She giggled when she remembered the punch to the gut she’d experienced watching the water sluice over his muscular frame. God, the guy was H-O-T, and the combination of the heat and the view had positively fried her brain cells. That was the only possible explanation for her wanton behavior.

If you don’t want this, say no
.

The memory of his gruffly spoken words was like a flashpoint of heat that even the air-conditioning blasting in her face couldn’t overcome. She hadn’t said no. Rather, she’d said
yes, yes, yes
—not with words, but with actions so brazen he probably thought she was a total slut. But he hadn’t seemed put off by her behavior. If anything, he’d encouraged it.

Jenny blew out an uneven deep breath as she felt him watching her drive down the long dirt lane that led to the road. She continued to feel his eyes on her as she unlocked the gate and swung it open. How in the world had he gotten his truck and that beast of a lawn mower onto the property? He must have a key, she decided.
Great
…

On the way back, she drove by the green Martinez Lawn & Garden pickup truck with the trailer attached for the beast and could tell he was still watching her. Martinez Lawn & Garden… She wondered if he was an owner or an employee and hated herself for wanting to know more about him. Owners of a company like that didn’t usually do things like cut the grass, did they?

“Oh for God’s sake, Jenny. Knock it off, and let it go. It was a couple of kisses. Stop making it into a federal case.”

She was still muttering to herself when she stepped into the mudroom and stopped short as images from the carnal encounter flooded her mind, making her mouth water for another taste of him. This was utter madness, and it was enough already.
 

After stomping up the stairs to the bedroom, she sat at her computer to record the weather conditions and seas on the Coast Guard website she reported to every day, which was another of the regular duties required of her position. The job wasn’t exactly the best use of the MBA she’d earned at the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School of Business, but she liked her life at the lighthouse and on the island, where she’d made friends she greatly enjoyed.

They kept her busy and engaged in island life, which was exactly what she needed after years of floundering following Toby’s death. She finally felt rooted again and ready for the next phase of her life, whatever that might be. The morning passed quickly as she replied to several emails from her parents and sisters, who worried about her far more than they should—not that she hadn’t given them ample reason to worry over the years.

Her parents were talking about coming to visit this summer, and she hoped they would. She’d love to show them “her” island and introduce them to her new friends. Speaking of her friends, it was time to get ready to go to Syd’s. She’d offered to arrive early so Syd’s husband, Luke, could go to work for a few hours.
 

Suddenly, she realized she could no longer hear the beast and went over to the window to look out at the lawn, which was devoid now of the mower and the hot man who ran it. He was gone. That was fine. She had to go, too. But as she drove away from the lighthouse on her way to Syd’s, she wondered if or when he’d be back.

***

Jenny arrived at Sydney and Luke’s oceanfront home a short time later. She was accustomed now to the breathtaking views the island afforded, but theirs was one of her favorites. Carrying the brownies she’d baked, Jenny tapped on the glass door and heard Syd’s dog, Buddy, bark inside.
 

Luke came to the door and smiled when he saw Jenny there. “Oh, good, you’re here. Syd can’t wait to be rid of me.”

“That’s not true,” Syd called from her perch on the sofa. She had decorated the room in shades of navy and cream and made the most of the exquisite view. Jenny absolutely loved this room. “He can’t wait to go to work.”

“Also not true,” Luke said with a wink.
 

“Glad to see you two lovebirds getting along so swimmingly,” Jenny teased.
 

“We’ve been spending a
lot
of time together,” Sydney said. “And not the fun kind of time.” Her long red hair was piled into a messy bun on the top of her head, and other than the dark circles under her eyes, she looked great.

Luke bent over the sofa to kiss his wife. “We’ll be back to fun in a couple of weeks. In the meantime,” he said to Jenny, “she’s under orders to take it easy. No heavy lifting or strenuous activity.”

“Got it,” Jenny said. “I’ll take good care of her. Don’t worry.”

“Call me if you need anything,” Luke said to Sydney. “I can be home in a couple of minutes.”

“Go already, would ya? Honestly, I can’t get rid of him.” This was said with a warm smile for her handsome husband.
 

“Never let it be said I can’t take a hint. Back in a couple of hours.”

“We’ll be here,” Syd said.

“Thanks again, Jenny,” he said on his way out. “I appreciate the break from the ball and chain.” He quickly shut the door so he could get in the last word, which left Sydney shaking with silent laughter.

“Hurts to laugh,” she said.
 

“You two are funny.”

“We’ve been together around the clock for more than a week. I knew he was dying to get back to the marina but would never say so. Thanks for coming over to babysit me. I told him I was fine by myself, but he wouldn’t leave me alone.”

“He’s very sweet.”

“Yes, he is. He’s been an absolute rock through the whole thing. All this hassle and who knows if it’ll even work?”

“It went well, though, right?”

“The doctor said it all went perfectly. Couldn’t have asked for better. He was able to successfully reconnect both of my fallopian tubes.”

“So why don’t you seem more excited? You want a baby, don’t you?”

“I do, but…”

“But what?”

“It’s scary to think about having a baby and then worrying all the time about something happening to it. I don’t know if I could survive that again. But I’m trying to follow Luke’s lead and think positively. He says I’ve used up my lifetime supply of bad luck.”

“I have to agree with him.”

“I do, too. But it’s still scary.”

“Could I ask you something that might seem weird and out of the blue?”

“Of course you can. You know that.”
 

The two women had bonded initially over their mutual experience with tragedy and had become close friends. Syd had been the first to reach out to Jenny after she arrived on the island and had connected her with a vast circle of friends she’d come to adore. Jenny hadn’t felt so at home anywhere since she lost Toby and was forever thankful to Syd for making the overture.

“Do you ever dream about Seth and the kids? As if they’re still alive?”

“Not as much as I used to right after the accident, but occasionally. Why? Do you dream about Toby?”

“Same as you. It used to be more frequent when it first happened, but now it’s only once in a while, and it always messes me up for a couple of days afterward.”

“It messes me up, too. I felt so bad because I had the dream when Luke and I were on our honeymoon. Of all the times for a blast from the past.”

“Oh jeez. What did you do? What did
he
do?”

“He was great about it, like he is about everything. He just rolls with whatever comes his way and keeps me calm, too. I tell him that’s his special gift—instilling calm.”

“It’s a good gift.” Jenny thought of Alex and how he’d instilled passion rather than calm.

“Yes, it is. Anyway, the honeymoon dream threw me for a loop for a couple of days. It’s always a shock to wake up from the dream and remember what happened.”

Jenny nodded in agreement—and in understanding. “I had the Toby dream this morning. Same thing.”

“What do you dream about?”

“It’s always the same thing. The last morning we spent together. I want so badly to know what he said to me before he left, and what I said to him, but I wake up before I get there. Every time.”

“Do you think it would make a big difference to know what you said?”

“Intellectually, I know it won’t make any difference. He’ll still be dead, you know? But I’d like to know.”

“It would give you closure.”

“If there is any such thing.”

“I don’t like that word very much for the same reason.”

“That’s one thing I’ve come to understand in the last twelve years. I’ll never get true closure, but peace is possible, and so is happiness and joy and other things I thought I’d never experience again.”

“Love is possible, too, Jenny.”

“Maybe so.” Jenny couldn’t help but think of the fiery encounter with Alex. That had been a long, long way from love, but it had reminded her that she was still very much alive and still very much a normal woman.

“So no sparks with Mason, huh?”

“Afraid not. He’s a very nice guy, though.”

“Yes, he is. Doesn’t mean he’s the one for you. Who’s next?”

“I’m having dinner with Linc tomorrow night.”

“Ohh, he’s so cute. I bet you’ll feel sparks with him.”

“I guess we’ll see.” Sparks… Was that what she’d felt with Alex? No, that had been a full-fledged flame. She wanted so badly to tell Sydney about what’d happened with him but decided not to. It felt intensely private, and not only because her behavior had been so far out of character. The minute she told someone else about it, it wouldn’t belong just to them anymore. And for now, she wanted to keep it between them.
 

That led to another, far more startling thought: What if he told people? He wouldn’t do that, would he? How could she be certain he wouldn’t? She didn’t know him at all. With those worries churning in her belly, she made a cup of tea for Sydney and chatted with her about a wide variety of island gossip.