Meant to Be (20 page)

Rad gazed around at his men. “Yes,
sir. We’re good with that.” His eyes shifted back to Lauren, who
had let her guard down. She now studied him with an absorbed
expression of questioning concern radiating from her
eyes.

“
Thanks for taking the
time.” McDunna shook Lauren’s hand and walked her toward the door.
“I know it will be a long day for you.”

“
No problem,” Lauren said.
“Looking forward to the ultimate outcome.”

McDunna checked his watch. “The
helicopter is about twenty minutes out. I’ll have someone escort
you down to the LZ.”

“
I’ll do it.” Rad jumped
out of his chair and stepped forward. “Just thought of another
question.”

McDunna appeared a little confused,
but nodded his head, and turned to Lauren. “This is Michael
Radcliff. He’ll be leading the mission.”

Lauren nodded curtly, and then turned
and walked toward the landing zone, not waiting to see whether he
followed or not.

Chapter 17

Lauren was barely outside
the door when she heard footsteps fall in beside her.

“
Good to see you again,
Lauren.”

His voice sounded just the way she
remembered it—calm and almost jovial, as if they were taking a
stroll along the beach. Yet she could feel the barely-controlled
power that coiled within him as he walked.

“
Really?”
She didn’t even bother to look over at him. “I’d hate to see how
you treated someone you
weren’t
glad to see.”

“
It’s my job.” His tone
instantly changed to sharp and severe.

“
So your
job is to make the person giving a briefing look like she’s
incapable of doing
her
job?”

“
My job is to make sure
everyone comes out of this mission alive.”

“
What a coincidence.”
Lauren hated it when her voice got high and shrill like this, but
she couldn’t help it. “That’s my job too.”

“
Now that
you’re finally letting me in on
that
little secret, any other ones you
want to share?”

She heard anger in his tone now but
forced a laugh. “Seriously, Rad. You can’t think I was going to
spill classified secrets to a total stranger. If you’ll recall, I
tried to dissuade you.”

They were now down in a
slight swale and behind a small fortification that hid them from
view for a few minutes. Lauren didn’t hold back as she began to
walk and talk faster. “But did you take the hint, Michael Radcliff?
No-o-o. You persisted. Remember? Tracking me down and teasing me
with that damn irresistible schoolboy grin of yours.” She pulled
him to a stop and pointed her finger into his chest. “And anyway, I
don’t remember
you
sharing with
me
that you were heading to the biggest shithole on the planet
for your so-called
training
.”

She crossed her arms and turned her
back on him, so didn’t get to see that her words made him crack a
smile—if only temporary.

“
Maybe
you’re right.” He grabbed her arm and spun her around. “But this
is
crazy
.
You can’t be serious about this.”

“
What’s crazy is that I’ve
been working in this God-forsaken hellhole for five years, and now
I have someone waltzing in here with the unmitigated gall to
question my ability.”

“
I never questioned your
ability.” Rad sounded a little more apologetic now. “But you led me
to believe you were a bank executive. Remember?”

“
And you led me to believe
you were a SWAT cop—not on a military hunt and kill
team.”

“
I did?” He cocked his
head as he stared at her. “Anyway, it’s not a hunt and kill team.
We locate. And then we eliminate.”

“
Even better.” Lauren
clapped her hands together. “Looks like I’ve done half of your job
for you.”

She turned and strode toward the
landing zone again, her footsteps making a soft sound in the packed
down dirt. She knew he was beside her because she could see puffs
of dust rising from beneath his heavy boots as she stared at the
ground. “Are you going to tell your CO?”

“
Tell him
what?”

Lauren rolled her eyes and stepped in
front of him so he had to come to a stop. “About us.”

Rad glanced at her, and then focused
his attention over her head. “I’ll tell him I know you. I’m not
going to tell him I’m madly in love with you.”

Lauren kind of laughed, not taking him
seriously. “Yeah, that might be something you’d want to share with
me first.”

Rad took a deep breath and gazed down
at her with a look that was disarming and alarming in its
intensity. “I think I just did.”

She blinked when she saw the
expression on his face. “But I just met you.”

“
Can’t help it.” He
brushed past her as if he wanted to end the
conversation.

She trotted to catch up and
grabbed his arm. “But you
have
to help it! I mean we’re practically
strangers.”

He paused and studied her with
disappointed eyes. “No, we’re not.”

“
But we’ve been together,
all told, the length of one summer day.” Lauren tried to defend her
point of view because she knew this couldn’t work. She never
dreamed he felt the same way about her as she felt about him. His
admission had just complicated everything and made her
responsibilities that much more complex.

Rad blinked as if warding off a
physical blow while his expression changed to one of mingled pain
and disappointment. “I guess I don’t base the depth of my feelings
on the number of counted hours spent with someone.”

Lauren exhaled and shook her head.
“It’s too dangerous.”

“
I can handle it if you
can.”

She scrutinized him long and hard. “So
you can promise me your mind will be on the mission and your
men—not me—no matter what.”

“
I’m a professional,” he
said bluntly. “I do this for a living.”

When she did not respond
other than to give him a doubtful look, he threw his hands in the
air. “You know what, Lauren? This whole issue could be resolved if
you just stayed here like a good little girl—or better yet, got on
a plane for the United States—and let
me
take care of the nasty
stuff.”

“
Why you arrogant,
self-righteous son-of-a—!”

“
Whoa, girl.” He cut her
off, his eyes twinkling mischievously.

“
I’ve
been tracking down this terrorist bastard for five years, and you
have the audacity to tell
me
to stay here where it’s safe?”

Before she had time to say anything
else, he glanced down at his watch.

“
You got somewhere you
need to be?” she asked, sarcastically.

“
No. Just checking the
date.” Again he smiled a teasing grin. “To officially record our
first fight.”

Lauren shook her head in disgust and
yet he made her smile. In the middle of a war zone, with danger and
peril all around them, she knew he was attempting to lighten the
mood.

He reached out and touched her arm.
“I’ve got an idea. Dig out your red shoes, click your heels
together three times, and go back home.”

“
You are freaking
unbelievable.” She turned away, but he moved to stand in front of
her.

“
Okay. Sorry.” His voice
was composed, low and even. There was an intensity and a calmness
about him that made her feel safe—and made her wish they were both
anywhere but here.

“
I can promise you one
thing. If he’s where’s he’s supposed to be, we’ll get
him.”

He spoke convincingly enough, but his
grim face and concerned expression betrayed a sensitivity and
compassion that threatened to undo her.

“
He’s there. You can count
on it.”

“
I know my guys. He won’t
be planning any more attacks after this mission.”

They were both silent a moment, and
Lauren assumed he was thinking about what she was thinking
about—all the obstacles that would have to be faced to accomplish
this mission, and the complications that made it so dangerous. But
when he spoke again, she realized that was not what he was silently
contemplating at all.

“
I wish you would be
reasonable.” He leaned down toward her, his gray-blue eyes filled
with infinite longing and hope, and conveying a vague, yet
discernible uneasiness.

“
What
does
that
mean?”

“
Go
home
.”

“
Damn you, Rad.” Lauren
shook her head. “These are my enemies as much as yours.”

The look he shot her was
piercing in its intensity. “Soldiers can afford enemies.
Spies
cannot.”

The way he said the words, combined
with the steely appearance of his eyes, told Lauren what she had
already known. His reluctance to let her finish the job wasn’t
because he didn’t think she could handle it, but because he felt it
his duty to protect and shield her. His spirit and his character
were forged for the fight. His innermost essence compelled him to
shield and defend. He was a warrior, but he had a heart. A big
one.

As Lauren gazed at him in silence she
noticed that, despite his calm exterior, he appeared to be
controlling his emotions with a mighty effort. His lean, square jaw
was set determinedly, yet his brown, rugged face still betrayed
anguish and torment.

“
The risks are high,
Lauren.” His voice was low with barely-controlled
emotion.

“
I know that.” She looked
at him without blinking. “But so are the stakes.”

His cheeks seemed to grow a little
paler. “Then I have a question to ask you.”

“
Yeah? What?”

“
You do understand the
consequences if something should go wrong. If they suspect you in
any way.” His voice was calm, but his expression was
not.

She regarded him defiantly, then
shifted her attention to the distant mountain over his shoulder. “I
understand what will happen if you and your men move blindly in a
sovereign country.”

He exhaled in exasperation and shook
his head. “Why does it have to be like this?”

“
Because you and I don’t
go with the flow I guess.” She looked up to see if he thought her
comment was funny, but he didn’t even crack a smile. “Anyway, it’ll
be over soon,” she murmured.

“
And you’ll get out of
there?” She noticed he kept his hands in his pockets now as if to
restrain himself, to keep from touching her.

“
My orders are to stay and
see this thing through.”

“
And then?”

She cocked her head and gazed up at
him. “And then they’ll pull me out.”

“
Do you know when
exactly?”

She shrugged. “Not exactly. My guess
is soon.”

“
What the hell does that
mean?”

This was the first time she had seen
Rad really agitated. “It means there will be increased security in
the area when this goes down so I’ll have to lay low a little
while. If I make a move they might suspect me—and uncivilized
countries like this don’t treat spies very well.”

Lauren expected a response from Rad,
but he remained silent. When she looked up, the expression on his
face made words unnecessary. He gazed straight ahead with a dull
stare as if seeing imaginary rather than real scenes. It appeared
he was visualizing what such countries did to spies and it had not
helped her case.

“
They might do that
anyway,” he said. “Don’t you think the first person they’re going
to suspect is someone living in the house across the
street?”

Lauren turned her head. Yes it had
entered her mind, but she didn’t have a say in the matter. She’d
been given the opportunity to pass up the duty—but not to quit in
the middle of it. Now that she’d committed, she was bound to stay
until the bitter end. She would not be given the option to leave
before it was done, and leaving right after would be
impossible.

“
Living across the street,
right under their noses, is probably the safest place I can be.
They’d never expect it.” Lauren tried to relieve Rad’s concerns by
sounding indifferent about the matter. “Anyway, I don’t pick and
choose what duties I perform based on the danger level, and
obviously neither do you, so don’t lecture me on it.”

“
I’m not lecturing you on
it, but what would I have to do to get you to not go back?” His
demeanor made him appear stalwart and vigorous, like a man not
accustomed to hearing the word ‘no,’ yet his expression revealed
deep concern and a touching reluctance to let her go.

“
If you knew what I’ve
already been through, you wouldn’t ask that.”