Melodies of the Heart: A Pinewood Grove Sweet Romance (13 page)

Kassidy’s phone blipped and blipped again, but she refused to answer it or even look at it. Levi had been texting her for three days nearly non-stop, but she couldn’t bring herself to read most of the messages, let alone reply.

I’m so stupid
, she told herself as she pulled the covers of her bed over her head.
Everyone warned me, everyone tried to tell me to be careful, and I didn’t listen. I let myself love him and proved everyone right.

Levi had left the morning after he told her that he had to go. There was no promise of staying together, no offers to visit and to try to make it work. He was gone and he might not come back.

All she had left was a broken heart and shattered pride.

The humidity that had been unbearable at the start of July was finally giving way to a dry heat as August approached. Kassidy pulled her long hair up on the top of her head to keep her neck cool during work and just as she secured it with a bobby pin, her phone blipped on the counter.

It was Levi, texting her again. He was in Seattle, and just wanted to check to see how she was doing.

Kassidy’s fingers hovered over the touch screen of her phone, but she couldn’t bring herself to reply. It wasn’t often that she replied to his texts, and they had gone from five or six a day to only one, and even then she wasn’t sure how long that would last. She rarely replied to him, it hurt too much to send much more than one word answers, and surely he’d give up on her soon enough.

A second text, the first time he’d texted her more than once in a day for nearly a month, came through while she was still debating her answer.

“I just want to make sure you’re okay,” the message read.

“I’m fine,” Kassidy replied before she turned her phone off. She was fine, at least, she was usually fine. Her heart still ached every day, but it was getting easier to manage the pain as time went on.

There were things that always brought the hurt back to the surface, though. Things like how every time she looked at the corner post of her bed where the blue helmet rested made her remember how it felt to race down the highway on the back of Levi’s bike.

She hadn’t wanted the helmet anymore, but she couldn’t bring herself to sell it or give it away. Levi had left it on the bench outside the bakery before he’d left town and she’d held on to it for reasons she wasn’t even sure of herself.

The cupcakes hurt too. Her sweetheart cupcakes that had made the bakery profitable again. They still sold well, and the summer tourists lined up almost every day for a taste of the treats. They’d appeared on
Buzzfeed
and
The Huffington Post
– both of which she was sure Levi had called for her – and they’d released five flavors in total with more on the way. The next one Kassidy’s father was working on was a new coconut cream flavor, but he couldn’t quite get them to break apart properly.

But every time she sold or made one, it scratched at the still raw hurt of her heart. Levi had inspired the treat, and when she watched people pull the hearts apart, it hit too close to home. Her heart was being pulled apart with each silly cupcake.

As much as she wanted to never see one of those cupcakes again, she couldn’t stop selling them. They’d saved the bakery and though ShopMart had almost instantly started imitating them, they never got the flavors right and their versions were more likely to crumble in a customer’s hands than they were to pull apart nicely.

So instead she faked a smile every day, insisted to her parents that she felt fine, and mostly ignored Levi’s texts.

Mostly.

Some days she was weak and she would reply to him. Not with more than a word or two, but at least it was something. Despite how much he’d hurt her, she still loved him as much as before the paparazzi had found out where he was.

There were times where she would type out, “Maybe I could come visit you,” when he would tell her where he was, but then she’d delete it and shut her phone off before she could make a stupid mistake. It would only reopen the hurt all over again if she saw him, and he’d made it clear he wanted her to live her life without him.

But that was proving hard to do. She’d go out with her friends and pretend to have a good time, only to go home with a claimed stomach ache and cry in bed while watching a movie to cover the sounds of her sobs.

A few of the guys in town had asked her out over the last couple months, Paul more than once, but she’d politely turned them all down. She was always polite about it, telling them she wasn’t ready to date again, but it was sweet of them to ask. There was a part of her that had worried that if she ever did feel like dating again, no one would feel the same about her, and in an odd way, it was nice to find those fears to be unfounded.

Addison still apologized all the time, but Kassidy never blamed her. She’d made it clear that it was better that Levi left when he did, and not after six months or a year when it would have become too hard to ever forget him.

Her friends never pressured her to date, though they did like to mention it might help her get over Levi. Her parents had stayed relatively mum on the subject, but she knew it was coming.

They finally broke just as the calendar changed over to August. For two months they’d watched their daughter mope around the house and they made it clear to her that they were sick of it.

“Kassidy, we need to talk,” her father said as he passed her a bowl full of mashed turnip at dinner.

“About?” she asked as she scooped some of the light yellow mush onto her plate.

“About you,” her father said before her mother cut in.

“We’re worried about you, hon,” her mom said. “You haven’t been yourself since that man –”

“Vagabond,” her dad cut in with a scoff.

“That man left,” her mother continued. “You do a good job putting on a big smile for the customers and you go out with your friends, but we really do think it’s time you move on.”

“Mom...”Kassidy tried to cut in, but her parents weren’t willing to hear her out.

“We know it’s tough,” her father said. “My first girlfriend dumped me, but look how well it worked out.”

“He didn’t...” she tried to explain, but they kept going.

“We just want you to try,” her mother said. “We know you’ve been asked out by some of the guys in town since Levi left, and we know you’ve turned them all down, but maybe it’s time you said yes to someone.”

“I don’t know if I’m really ready,” Kassidy admitted. “I don’t want to get some guy’s hopes up, only to tell him no after a date or two.”

“And that’s very considerate of you, sweetie,” her mom said. “But I think they would understand.”

“You need to think of your future,” her dad said, switching gears. “I plan on handing the reins of this place over to you in a few years and I’d feel a lot better about that if you weren’t doing it on your own.”

“We just think,” her mom said, careful to use her sweetest, most nurturing voice, “that you should give Paul another chance.”

“Mom, I don’t like him like that!” Kassidy tried to insist.

“Right now,” her mother said. “And that’s fine. You don’t love someone at first sight. Real life and real partnerships aren’t about seeing sparks and feeling butterflies. They take work and time to grow. Love at first sight doesn’t exist in real life, sweetie.”

She wanted to tell her mom that it did. That she’d seen those fireworks when she first met Levi, but saying that out loud would only make the whole conversation worse.

“He’s going back to school in a month and would really like to get to see you before then,” her father said. “He’s only got a year left and then he’ll have a good education under his belt and he comes from a good family. That way if the bakery slows down again, you don’t need to worry about the finances.”

“And he’s so sweet on you,” her mother said when it was clear that her father was more concerned with the financial stability of his daughter than her heart. “He’ll treat you well and be good to you. Why not just try?”

“Because...” Kassidy said, but she was exhausted. They’d been doing this song and dance ever since she and Paul had broken up the first time and she was finally throwing in the towel. There was no fight left in her. “Fine,” she relented.

“Now honey,” her dad said, but then he realised what she’d said. “Wait, you agree?”

Kassidy shrugged. “Yeah, I guess,” she told them. “You’re right, I can’t sit around and ignore what’s going on around me forever. Maybe it will be good for me. The least I could do is try.”

“That’s my girl,” her dad said, a proud smile painted on his lips.

“I’m sure Paul will be very happy to hear about this,” her mother said, her own face showing nothing but relief.

“Yeah,” Kassidy agreed. She already knew Paul would be happy to take her out and have people see them together again. She just needed to try to convince herself that it was the right choice.

Kassidy stared at herself in the mirror above her vanity. She’d pulled on a lacy pink dress to combat the summer heat, but now she debated changing into something else. The dress showed too much leg and left her arms bare and she didn’t feel entirely comfortable revealing either.

She’d already tried on most of the things in her closet in an effort to find something that felt right. It wasn’t that she was trying to impress her date, but that everything she tried made her skin crawl with discomfort.

There was anxiety in her gut as she got ready. It was a heavy, rolling kind of nervousness she hadn’t felt for a long time. There was no fear, nor was there excitement mixed in. It was pure anxiety and she knew no matter what she wore, it wouldn’t go away.

She left her hair long and lose instead of trying to fiddle with it, and she only put on some tinted moisturizer instead of makeup. There was nothing in her that made her want to put in more of an effort, though she had the impression she should.

It was so different than when she got ready to go out with Levi. That had felt effortless, light and easy. It didn’t matter what she wore, he always looked thrilled to see her and made her feel beautiful. It didn’t matter if it was her church clothes, or the things she wore to work, it didn’t change anything.

Paul was different. He had unspoken standards and part of her wanted to struggle hard against them, but the fight wasn’t in her anymore. She just wanted to get this over with and hope that he wouldn’t want to date her again.

She knew what she was to him. An image, a vision of his past glory in high school. He’d been valedictorian, had a scholarship to Yale, and was on the school’s championship baseball team. He’d even made captain of the team after Jacob moved away. A pretty girl on his arm completed the package and now he was trying to reclaim that.

Maybe college made him grow up a bit,
Kassidy thought to herself as she smoothed some balm onto her lips.

It was a nice thought, but she didn’t believe it. Whether in Pinewood Grove or in Connecticut, he was still a rich boy with a political father, going to a rich school. He was still Paul, a few years of college wouldn’t change that.

But she had promised her mother and father that she would at least give him one date. She’d made it clear to him that they were going as friends, and she would split the bill with him. It was a little easier for her to swallow the whole situation that way.

But as seven got closer, it only got harder to fight the voice inside her telling her to cancel. There was only four more weeks until Paul would be moving back to school, and then she’d be left alone until next spring. The bulk of the people left in town between the ages of eighteen and twenty-two would be farmers and they were too busy in the fall to date anyway.

It’s also only four weeks that you’ll need to put up with this
, she reminded herself as well. If she could get away with only seeing Paul once a week, that was only four dates before he was gone again.

You’re being too hard on him
, she told herself as she ran her brush through her hair one last time.
He’s a nice guy.

She knew that was true. Yes, he had money and could be a bit of a snob at times, but he could be a really good guy when it came down to it. But that wasn’t the problem. She didn’t see him as anything more than a childhood friend and she knew she never would. No matter how hard people tried to push them together, she would never see him as anything more than that.

A blip from her phone cut through her thoughts and she saw it was from Levi. That was the last thing she needed at that moment and she sideswiped the message away before she had a chance to read it. The last thing she needed was to remember how much she missed him.

She didn’t have time to feel guilty about ignoring him for long. He’d told her not to wait for him and as a knock came from the front door, she knew it was time for her to go meet Paul.

He was busy chatting with her father when Kassidy got to the top of the steps. Paul had picked a pair of khaki pants and a thin, light blue button-up t-shirt for the night. She couldn’t deny that he looked good, but even with him obviously making quite an effort with his hair and his outfit, she still only saw him as a friend.

“Hi Paul,” Kassidy said from the top of the steps. She was trying to be polite, but her voice came out dull and flat.

“Kassidy, you look lovely,” he said as she began to walk down the steps. She had a pair of sandals waiting for her and Paul extended his hand to help her balance while she slipped them on, and she felt she had no choice but to accept.

“Where are you two off to tonight?” her father asked.

“I thought we might try that new place that opened up,” Paul said. “The Great Harvest House.”

Kassidy cringed at that. The place had only been open a couple weeks, but it had already polarized the town, just like ShopMart before it. It was a well-known chain, sure, but The Black Sheep was a town icon and they served a similar style roadhouse menu. It wouldn’t be so bad if the new place were Italian or maybe Greek, but it was too similar to what Pinewood Grove already had. The town wasn’t big enough to support them both.

“Well, you two have fun,” her dad said as he saw them off. She knew her dad’s feelings on the restaurant as well, and in a way she was glad Paul had said that’s where they were going. Her father wouldn’t exactly be pleased – The Black Sheep got their burger buns from the bakery – and maybe he would take her side next time Paul asked for a date.

“They have this place a few blocks from school,” Paul told her as he opened the door to his father’s Cadillac SUV for her. “The guys and I go all the time, it’s really quite good.”

“Cool,” Kassidy said as she sat down into the plush leather seats of the SUV. Like her date, the vehicle was polished, sophisticated, and looked great, but it just felt off as he got in and turned on the car with the push of a button.

The ride wasn’t far and they easily could have walked, but Kassidy kept her thoughts to herself. Her sandals gave her blisters when she walked too far in them, so it might have been for the best that they drove.

The restaurant looked like every single one of its brethren as they pulled in, and the walls were covered in knick knacks, moose heads wearing funny hats, and there was a canoe on the ceiling. It was a hard attempt at atmosphere that came on just a bit too strong.

“The canoe is a nice touch,” Paul said as they reached the hostess stand.

“For two?” they were asked by a girl who couldn’t have been out of high school yet.

“Yes please,” Paul told her and they followed her to a booth by one of the windows that framed the restaurant.

As they walked by other tables, Kassidy recognised most of the diners. They were people she hadn’t seen in the bakery since ShopMart opened, the ones that were happy getting mass marketed products for a cheaper price. It didn’t surprise her that they were spending their Saturday night at the chain restaurant.

“Marcia will be right out to get your drinks,” the hostess said. “And tonight we have a two for one app special. I really recommend the baked cactus fingers.”

“Thanks,” Paul said and the hostess left to return to her station.

“This is... nice,” Kassidy settled on in an effort to be polite.

“I like it,” Paul said. “And the cactus fingers are quite good. If you want to split that and the loaded potato wedges, I wouldn’t complain.”

“Sure,” Kassidy said with a shrug. She scanned the menu and found so much of every chain she’d ever been to, just with a different name. The Black Sheep’s menu changed with what was in season, this place would be the same every day until their corporate headquarters would decide it was time to switch something out.

“What do you usually get?” she asked Paul in an effort to be polite and not so quiet.

“I like the pulled pork sandwich,” he told her. “And their soups are usually pretty good. You might like the pasta, too.”

“Okay,” she said. She knew that everything would taste okay. Not great, not unique, but okay.

“So how’s your summer been?” she asked once the waitress had come to get their order. Paul had been back for a couple months and she was sure he would enjoy telling her about it.

“Excellent, really,” he said. “I’ve tried to make the most out of it, seeing as I will need to buckle down next year. I’ll need to start putting together my law school applications pretty soon. My father’s connections will help, but they don’t mean I can just walk into a school and expect to get in.”

“Uh huh.” Kassidy said as her gaze moved out the window. Tiny droplets of rain were starting to spit against the glass and she found herself glad they’d taken the car after all.

“Having my undergrad from Yale is also quite a good step,” he continued, not noticing she wasn’t paying attention. “My parents were so proud when I got in, my father went there and his father before him. It’s important to be part of a legacy, not just in school, but in work too. I do hope I get into Yale Law, but I’ll also be applying to Harvard, Stanford, and most of the schools along the east coast.”

“Right,” Kassidy said, forcing herself to look back at him. Paul always did have a habit of going on about his achievements and goals, and she knew he wasn’t done yet.

She was right about that and she weaved in and out of paying attention as he told her all about how his father would get him into the best firm to article at next summer, rates of employment, and his goals for the future.

“And of course, I assume you’ll want to move out to the east coast at some point. Three years is a long time to be apart.”

“Sorry?” Kassidy mumbled, realising she’d missed a very important part of the conversation. “Go where?”

“Out east with me,” he told her, his eyes searching her while he spoke. “I mean, it wouldn’t make sense for you to be here with me out there, especially after we get married.”

“Married?” Kassidy choked.

“Of course,” Paul said. “It’s good for me to be married before I graduate from law school. We’d both be twenty-four, maybe twenty-five, and it’ll look very favorably on me to be a family man.”

“But I’ll need to be here,” Kassidy said, choosing to worry about him assuming they’d be getting married later. “My parents will be retiring in the next few years and I’ll be taking over the bakery.”

“Oh,” Paul said. “Well, you could sell the place and you’d have a bit of extra spending money.”

Kassidy’s mouth went dry
. Sell the bakery?
She was at a complete loss, but the look on Pauls’ face made it all too clear how sincere he was.