Memory Scents (31 page)

              The fire was lit, the outside world had been shut out quite some time ago and stiff drinks were flowing along with the conversation. They were all completely exhausted but somehow managed to stay awake to counsel one another.

              For the first in a very long time Chrissie’s house took a deep breath and let out a very large sigh, as a veil of serenity and peace landed on the whole area, dispersing the cold, sinister atmosphere as easy as someone blowing on a dandelion head.

*

              The guilt had been too overwhelming for Daphne to bear, and she had passed away two years to the day since she had unburdened everything she’d known about Tim. But aside from her despair she had lived the best two years of her life. Not only had she gained a friendship with Eve and Grace, but she developed one with Chrissie and Sarah too. Chrissie had wanted to interview her for research for her new book and Sarah, having newly arrived in the village, had wanted to come along and get to know a few people. For Daphne it had been like gaining four daughters where she had lost one. They consoled her through her bad moments, telling her she wasn’t to blame for Tim’s behaviour. But it didn’t matter how many times she heard it, she still felt guilty. He had been right about the fact she hadn’t wanted him. He’d arrived far too soon after they had lost Verity, well too soon in Daphne’s eyes. She had been unable to bond with him and she remembered so clearly feeling like a child being given a new toy to replace a much loved old one. Only, this hadn’t been a toy she’d been dealing with and she was no longer a child. The bond she had expected and thought every mother was supposed to feel hadn’t arrived.

              People had thought a boy had been better than having another girl, which they thought would highlight the fact she wasn’t Verity and could never replace her. A boy signified a fresh start, a new chapter in her life, but Daphne didn’t feel any of those things, she’d just felt more miserable than before and worse still, she’d felt trapped.

              Over and over in her head she would run memories, wondering if she could have tried harder, spent more time with him, loved him more.

              She knew that Verity’s murder had been the trigger for all the crimes Tim committed, but she had been the catalyst for it all by making him feel so unwanted and unloved.

              Eve and Grace told her time and again that if Verity hadn’t been murdered she wouldn’t have felt like that towards him, so therefore it had been the fault of the monster who’d cruelly taken her daughter. They assured her he wouldn’t have been aware of her feelings, that lots of mothers went through the same thing, only it was diagnosed as post-natal depression today rather than ignored as it was back then. It wasn’t an excuse for him to go round killing innocent children; everyone had a choice in life, no matter how badly they had been treated.

             
Even Daphne telling them she suspected Dora of abusing Tim couldn’t convince them that it was all her fault, or how horrible she felt she’d been to him because she simply didn’t like him. They loved her and couldn’t imagine she would intentionally hurt anyone, even with her harsh prickly exterior.

              Sarah even tried to talk to her on a professional level, to reassure her that at all times she would have done the very best she could for her son and she wasn’t to blame herself any longer; that they had both been victims of tragic circumstances. There was no rhyme or reason for it and Daphne beating herself up wouldn’t change any of it one little bit.

              Absolutely nothing would convince Daphne otherwise; it eased the guilt and softened the pain for her but it didn’t dissolve it. It was something no one could take away from her and she knew they were just being kind. The guilt of her son’s actions would stay with her forever. Daphne felt after all was said and done, she and Jack had chosen to bring him into the world, and it had been their duty to guide him in the right way.

              Their support and loyalty helped her though and it was like having her daughter back with her again, only in four separate people. She felt extremely privileged to have them around her, fussing over her, genuinely interested in what she had to tell them.

              Daphne passed away peacefully with all four of them around her. She was no longer scared or bitter about her life and she left, feeling quite peaceful and ready to go home.

*

             
Tim was found guilty of the murders of Jody, Karen, Jennifer, Jacqueline, Lucy, Jonathan, Nadine and Alice. He was sentenced to life in prison for each murder.

              He had survived his attempted suicide because he hadn’t anticipated the ledge that broke his fall halfway down to the sea. And it quite literally broke his fall, by snapping his spine in two places, leaving him paralyzed for the rest of his life.

              His pleas of insanity at the time of the murders had fallen on deaf ears and he was removed from the court after a long hearing. There wasn’t one parent, family member or friend in the area who wished he’d died that day on the cliffs. Everyone wanted him to serve his sentence in full for the rest of his life, because they knew how much he wanted death to come and relieve him.

              He was put on a hospital wing in prison and watched by the staff determined to keep him alive. He appealed against his sentence, much to the shock of everyone concerned, but it was understandably thrown out of court. He felt that the sentence was immensely unfair because he’d been damaged as a child, but as the judge had pointed out to him on his day of sentencing, he’d had a choice. Everyone has the freedom to choose their actions.