Men of Mayhem (60 page)

Nothing could’ve prepared me to lie about who tried to kill my husband, but when it came to Fabrizio, it was easy. The police didn’t let up and handed me their contact details in case I remembered anything in the days to come.

I would never call them.

Fabrizio

I’ll never forget the pain of the blade as it ripped into my abdomen. I will never forget the look on Spisso’s face when he did it. And here I am, still alive, after being stabbed six fucking times. The first thing on my mind, when I woke up three days later, was Allegra. But my thoughts quickly shifted to Roberto Spisso and how I was going to exact my revenge.

“Fabrizio, thank God you’re okay and they let me see you,” Allegra said by my side, tears streaming down her face.

“
Cara,
Allegra,” I whispered. “I’m sorry you had to witness that. How is my father?”

“He’s worried and hasn’t been very well since this happened,” Allegra said, twisting her hands together in an act of concern.

Luigi entered the room with Rocco and I said, “Allegra, I need to talk to Luigi and Rocco alone…we won’t be long.”

Still crying, Allegra leaned down to stroke my face and kiss me. “
Ti voglio tanto bene, Fabrizio
.”

“I love you too, Allegra,” I told her, my gaze lingering on hers. I felt empty when she left the room but I wanted answers and Luigi had them.

“Spisso has been found. We have him,” Luigi said, taking the seat Allegra vacated. “Rocco was going to finish him off, but we thought you’d like to do that yourself.”

I nodded, my anger taking over again. My men knew me too well by handing me Spisso for me to kill myself. The bastard tried to take my life on my honeymoon, in front of my young wife. So in turn, I would take his.

Allegra

After eight days in the hospital, Fabrizio wasted no time in seeking his revenge on Spisso. His mutilated body was found in an industrial bin at a car yard. The newspapers had it on the front page and the television every half hour, trying to link the murder to the Calabrian mafia.

I was reading in bed when Fabrizio walked in. “
Ciao,
Allegra, why are you in bed so early?”

“I’m tired. Tired of all the rumours surrounding Roberto Spisso.” I pulled my hands out from my lap to lash out at him, waving them around in the air.

He narrowed his eyes at me with a blank expression. This is what he always did in order to hide his true feelings and cut off his emotions. “Drop it, Allegra.” He turned away from me, but I jumped out of bed and intercepted him, grabbing his arm.

“You did it, didn’t you?” I said, not expecting him to answer me. “And I will not drop it, I am not some young mafia wife who’s going to sit quietly while her husband goes around killing people. I’m not expecting you to tell me everything, but I don’t want you to lie to me.”

“I never have lied to you,
cara
. Never.”

“So don’t start now. Did. You. Do. It?” I punctuated every word.

“Allegra, why is it so important? Why do you want to put yourself through this? You know what I do for a living.”

“Yes, I do, but I never realised it was
that
bad. The newspapers say Spisso was brutalized, tortured for hours and then cut into tiny little pieces. What the fuck did I marry?”

“You married a monster. Yes, I did it. Yes, I tortured him and I cut him into tiny pieces, and even better, I fucking enjoyed it. When he begged for mercy, I had no remorse because he fucked with my family and no one does that. No one. If anyone ever tries to hurt any member of my family, I will kill again. When someone tries to kill me, they best not fuck up, or I will enact my revenge on them twofold.”

“Does that make you feel better now, admitting you’re a monster?”

“Jesus Fucking Christ! What did you expect? You knew what this life entailed the day your father gave you to me. When my father dies, I will step up as the leader of the Calabrian Mafia.”

“And us?”

Fabrizio was silent, running his hands down over his face in frustration. “If you can’t accept my life as the future Don, then there is no
us,
Allegra.”

“But you claim to love me. Is this how you show me love? By saying shape up or ship out? Why can’t you sacrifice this life for me if you love me? I don’t understand.” I pleaded with him, taking his hands in mine.

“Losing you would be the ultimate sacrifice. Don’t you get it, Allegra? If I give up the
famiglia
, we have no protection. Nothing. My enemies won’t care. Maybe one day I can give it up, but not just yet. I will always have enemies, who’ll try to hurt me, especially you because you’re my wife. I live in fear every day of my life now that I have you. I’m scared to have children because they’ll kill them and kill you. Once you become a Candetti, you become a target.” He looked so sad, yet so angry.

“It’s simple, Fabrizio. We can go away. Go live in Australia, the United States, or London?” I suggested, placing my hands on his muscled chest.

He pushed my arms away in anger. “You just don’t get it, do you? My father needs me. I am next in line.”

“Bullshit!” I threw at him. “Stop lying and tell me the damn truth.”

“What do you want me to say?” he yelled. “The mafia is a part of who I am. It’s all I know, the murders, the stealing, all of it. It’s my life and whether it’s right or wrong, I love it.”

Who am I to argue with a mobster or try to change his mind? “I understand your decision, but I don’t have to like it.” I walked out of the bedroom and slammed the door.

Fabrizio

Allegra spent some much needed time alone for a few weeks at my apartment, while I stayed at the villa during my father’s last days. I missed her, but she needed to step away from the
famiglia
for a bit. I loved her too much. She was so young, and she deserved a better life than this. I wanted to have children with her, but that meant having more people I cared about being in danger. That was the downfall of being a Candetti.

I will never forget the last hour I spent with my father. He reached for my hand just as I prepared to leave his room after visiting him for the night.

“I understand what you are going through, Fabrizio. You love her, but you are scared about giving up this life. You can be happy with her, son. You will be a better Don than I ever was. You’re smart, you will work out a way. But, never ever forget to protect
la famiglia
. Family comes first.”

“Never, Father. I will never forget,” I promised him.

“I’ve never told you enough
figlio mio
, but I love you. You’ve made me proud. Be happy with Allegra, don’t lose her. I will be watching with your mother from the heavens, that’s if they allow a bastard like me in.”

“They will, you’re not that evil,” I joked, trying to hold back the tears.

“Promise me you
will
be happy, son.” He took one last laboured breath, squeezed my hand and voiced his final words, before closing his eyes on the world. “Promise me, Don Fabrizio.”

I may have dreamed it, but I saw a faint flicker over his face as I responded, “
Sempre, Padre, sempre.
”

Allegra

Being a mobster’s wife didn’t come easy, but we did have more good times than bad. I adjusted well because Fabrizio kept his promise of never bringing business home, therefore not allowing it to taint our blissful life together. There were the odd times he’d come home with bloodstains on his clothes or I’d find guns in drawers. Fabrizio had it all planned out. With his hidden bank accounts, I would be looked after if anything were to happen to him. I’d move to another country like I suggested months ago.

Wherever I saw darkness, there was light. Our first light in our marriage was the birth of our daughter Valentina one year later. Fabrizio didn’t care if the baby was a boy or a girl, as long as we were happy. Valentina mesmerised him from the first time he held her in his arms. “
Piccolina mia
, I will protect you every day of my life,” he whispered with the utmost devotion in his eyes.

The devotion and loyalty Fabrizio had for his family was exemplified when I gave birth to our twin sons eighteen months later. With each birth, Fabrizio became a calmer man and much happier within himself.