Mending Hope (Contemporary Western Romance) (License to Love Series:Book 2) (5 page)

Just start at the beginning,
she told herself as Woody sat there and waited patiently.

“I was married for five and a half years,” she started.  “We got married our sophomore year in college when we were both barely twenty years old.  We thought the world was laid out in front of us.  He was the only man I’d ever loved, and I thought he would be the only man I
would
ever love.”

Woody tightened his grip on her hands a little at this, but his facial expression didn’t change at all.  She waited for him to calm down a little before continuing.

“He’s been gone for three years now, and I still miss him every day.  But I need you to understand that I am still in love with the ghost of him, with the memory of what could have been.  Even though he’s gone, he was a part of me and he still  lingers.”

Woody nodded, and his grip relaxed on her hands.  She saw his eyes harden as he looked up at her with firm resolve.  “If he still means that much to you, why aren’t you still with him?” 

This was the part Alyssa hated.  When she told people that he had died they always looked at her with such sadness, as if she were a broken toy that could never be fixed.  She did not want to see that pity in Woody’s eyes, did not want to see him realize that being with her meant carrying the ghost of him around with her.  But she knew that there was no getting around this.  She knew she would have to tell him the truth. 

“Kyle didn’t leave me and we didn’t get a divorce.  He died Woody.”  As she said the words, fresh tears threatened to spill out of her eyes.  But for the first time in a long time it wasn’t because of Kyle’s death.  It was because she was afraid that Woody would pull away.  She focused on a spot on his chest, looking away from his eyes to avoid seeing the inevitable end of their relationship reflected there. 

She hadn’t been on many dates since Kyle died, but every time one of them found out she was a widow it was like a wall came down, and nothing that she said or did from that point on made a connection.  They handled her with kid gloves as if she had suddenly sprouted a tattoo that read “Fragile” on her forehead.  She did not want to see that fear on his face.

As she stared at his chest she saw it rise and fall with each breath, the third time his chest rose she felt him let go of her hand, and she grew stiff in anticipation of the rejection and dropped her eyes to stare at the floor.

Instead she felt a brush of warmth under her chin as he put his hand there and tilted her face up to his.  Knowing that she couldn’t escape it, she gradually moved her gaze until their eyes locked again.  What she saw there was not pity, rejection or fear but something else entirely.

“Alyssa…”  It was all he managed to say before he leaned down and kissed her.  This kiss was gentler than before, his lips pressing against hers as his hand cradled her head and the nape of her neck.  The relief flooded through her, and she leaned into him, her hands trailing up his arms and locking around his neck as she sighed and his tongue slipped into her mouth.

Her body responded to his touch as electric currents moved across her flesh in waves.  For the first time in years, she felt the heat of desire uncurl through her loins and move up into her abdomen, and she pulled him tighter.  When she did, his hand slipped lower down her back, his hand cupping the curve of her bottom, and he used this leverage to pull her across his lap in one smooth motion. 

She opened her eyes and found him staring directly into hers.  “I don’t begrudge you your ghosts,” he said reassuringly.  “We all carry them with us and I think your ability to love someone that deeply is what makes you special.  It’s what I first noticed about you.  But if this is going too fast, let me know now, because if this continues I’m not sure I’ll be able to hold back.”  He stared into her eyes as he ran a hand through her hair and pushed it behind her ear to keep it out of her face.

Looking down into his eyes she realized how much she had wanted this moment since the first night they’d met and he’d kissed her in the rain.  She smiled and leaned down over him, her mouth covering his once again. 

When she did, Woody groaned and ran his hands under the hem of her blouse, his fingers caressing the bare skin of her back as he pulled her closer to him.  She shivered under his touch and leaned in, her hands traveling down his chest to the top of his pants.  His jeans strained against the obvious bulge.  He moaned and pulled her tighter when the palm of her hand ran across the fabric. 

He moved his right hand up and ran his thumb under the bottom of her bra unhooking it, and then slid his hand around until he was cupping her breast.  When his thumb ran across her hardened nipple she gasped, and the kiss deepened as well as the fire within her.  Briefly he pulled back long enough to slide her shirt up over her head, leaving her breasts exposed to the room. 

When the air hit her sensitive bare flesh, she gasped and leaned forward.  It was then that she pulled his shirt out of his jeans as she ran her hands across his muscles.  When she did, she could feel his flesh rippling under her fingertips as she slid his shirt off as well.   

He nipped at her bottom lip and pulled back, lifting her up with him as he stood from the bench, bracing her back against the wall.  As he did, he lifted her up and gently took her breast into his mouth, suckling her.  She moaned and arched her back as the heat that had been simmering in her abdomen suddenly poured out and coursed through her entire body. 

He gradually let her down until her feet were touching the floor.  When her legs made contact, they felt as weak as jelly and she had to brace herself completely on the shelf as he began to leave a burning trail of kisses down her tender flesh and across her stomach as his hand dipped into the top of her pants, and worked the button free.  He looked up at her as the zipper slid down, and then slid the pants down off of  her hips, grasping the tender flesh of her bottom as he did so. 

Her jeans and underwear fell into a puddle on the floor and she stepped out of them and kicked them over to the side with a flick of her toes.  As she did, she leaned forward and pulled on the top of his pants, the buttons on his fly popping loose one at a time.  Sliding her hands down into his pants, she grasped his engorged member and ran her finger over the swollen tip as she pulled it free of his jeans and pushed them off him.  When he was free of the confines of clothes she looked down at him and smiled.  

He moaned in an effort to reign himself in and covered her mouth with his own.  She could feel the heat in her skin boiling over as his flesh pressed against hers.   He ran his hands down her back and then firmly cupped her butt cheeks, once again moving into a sitting position on the bench. Pushing her legs wide as she straddled him, he took his fingers and began to caress her inner folds.  Each stroke of his fingertips caused the fire to escalate and because of the way her legs were across his lap the tenderest of her flesh was exposed to the air as well.  It caused a duality between the hot and the cool that threatened to send her into a spiral.  She leaned her head back and thrust her pelvis against his hand.

“Please…” was all she could manage to say between ragged breaths.  He thrust his fingers into her and she gulped down the cool air in the room as her thighs quivered.  He used one hand on the middle of her back to hold onto her as he positioned her directly over him, teasing her with his tip just barely hovering out of reach as she thrust once again down onto his fingers. 

He clamped his mouth down on her nipple at the same time that he slowly pulled his finger out and rubbed it across her opening.  A vibration echoed out from that tiny cluster of nerves and spread across her entire body, covering her flesh in goose bumps and heightening her senses.  He used his teeth to lightly bite down on her nipple, causing her to almost scream in pleasure.

She moaned as he gently pinched the sensitive area of her fold between his thumb and forefinger and then slowly entered her as he began to thrust.  Placing her hands on his shoulders for leverage, she rose and fell, pushing him deeper and deeper into her as his fingers continued to hold onto her nerves.  He released her breast as she leaned down and met his mouth.  Their tongues mingled as each thrust sent her closer and closer to the edge, her fingernails digging into his shoulders as she felt herself climaxing, her entire body convulsing in pleasure until she collapsed against his chest.

*

Completely spent, Woody lay back against the wall as he once again tucked a stray strand of Alyssa’s hair behind her ear before kissing her forehead.  His skin was still tingling, and he had never felt more alive than he did at this moment.

She sighed into his chest and looked up at him. “There are things I have never told anyone about the night Kyle died.”  She whispered. She started to say something else, but instead sank back into his chest. 

Instead of responding he held her and waited.  After a few moments she started to talk again as she trailed her fingertips across his chest. 

“We were fighting.  We had been trying to have kids for two years, but nothing was working.  On our last visit to the doctor they had told me that I would not be able to conceive without medical intervention.
I
was the reason we couldn’t have kids. 
I
was the infertile one.”  At this, she looked up at him, and when she saw that he didn’t flinch, she continued. 

“That knowledge weighed on me pretty hard and I was having an extremely difficult time dealing with what was happening.  I had a tantrum and demanded that we sink all of our savings into surgery and other options.  Kyle just wanted to let it go.  He said that if it were meant to be then it would happen on its own.”

She sighed and he felt a wet tear trickle down his chest, but he didn’t move to stop her.  Instead he just tightened his embrace on her back.  “I told him he couldn’t understand…that he couldn’t know what it was like to not be a whole woman.  His denying me that chance felt like a betrayal, and I told him to leave. I didn’t know there would be someone texting and driving…I didn’t know…”

By the end she was in full out sobs, the tears choking up her ability to speak.  He stroked her head and held her even tighter.

No wonder she’s so lost,
he thought. 

After a little bit she stopped crying and looked at him.  He knew she was studying him, trying to see if he was judging her guilt in the same measure that she was. 

“I can tell you that it was not your fault,” Woody said in an attempt to console her.  “I can show you how the fight and the accident had absolutely no correlation.   But guilt is a tricky thing.  It is something that you carry with you, and there is almost nothing anyone else can say or do that will take it away until you’re willing to let go.”

For the first time since he had met her a week ago, Alyssa’s face did not have an undercurrent of pain.  She breathed a sigh of relief.  “I think I needed to hear someone say that.”

With that he leaned down and kissed her, her mouth was soft and the embrace gentle.  Even though they had just finished, he felt the heat beginning to stir in him again.  She responded in kind, leaning into him and softly moaning.  This time when they met it was filled with softness with each kiss, each embrace taking on new levels of meaning.  They kissed for some time, enjoying each other and holding on to one another as the passion slowly began to build.

Woody had never had such a deep and sensual experience before, and this time when they were finished they both collapsed in each other’s arms, shaking with ecstasy and filled with abandon.

It had been almost two weeks since that night in the stable, but that hadn’t stopped Woody and Alyssa from being together as much as possible.  Alyssa was staying in one of the old farm hand apartments that were built onto the main house just on a secondary wing.  She used her time during the day to write, while Woody was working at the garage but he had been coming over and staying with her at night.

Neither of them really wanted to tell anyone else just yet.  There was something special to having a relationship that was completely new that should be initially left off the radar.  It was like a shiny new toy that neither of them wanted to spoil. 

Woody had taken to riding his motorcycle over to the house and parking in the large attached garage that was generally used for farm equipment.  Usually he would get up and leave early in the morning to head back to the garage.  Today, however, was different.

That was because today was the first day of the trial for Chuck Sanders, the stalker who had almost succeeded in kidnapping Clara.  Because of that, Woody and Alyssa were eating breakfast together before going into town to the courthouse.  Woody had decided to stay all night.  He figured that everyone would probably be too busy to notice, or to care, where he was coming from. 

Alyssa slipped out from between the covers as quietly as she could and walked to the door, leaving his sleeping form on the bed as she started to shower.  He hadn’t been able to sleep in since he’d been staying with her, and she wanted to make sure that she gave him the chance to do so now.

The water was welcoming as she stood beneath the stream, letting the warmth spread through her muscles and across her entire body.  She was so enthralled with letting it run across her flesh that she didn’t hear Woody enter the bathroom until he pulled back the curtain and entered the shower behind her.