Merlyn's Magic (25 page)

'From what I've heard he wasn't much of a husband even
before the accident.' His voice was scornful.

Merlyn gave him a sharp look. 'What are you implying now,
Mark?' she demanded harshly. 'Another lie you hope will cause me pain?'

'Hey,' he derided mockingly. 'I don't spend my whole life
thinking up ways to hurt you!'

'Just half of it!' she returned impatiently.

'Well, I didn't think this up. And I would have thought
you would be pleased to hear that the wonderful Rand was reputed to be
separated from his wife before she died.'

'That's a lie,' Merlyn gasped, shaking her head, tension
in every inch of her body.

Mark's brows rose at her vehemence. 'You aren't pleased?'
he drawled.

'Because it isn't true,' she bit out tautly. 'Rand loved
his wife very much.'

'Then why did she leave him?' Mark challenged with triumph.

'She didn't—'

'She was in London when the accident happened, he was
still up here—'

'Just because they didn't live in each other's pockets
doesn't mean—'

'I meant she was staying in London at their apartment,
that she had been for some time,' Mark insisted.

That information had been in the newspapers at the time of
the accident, and a couple of the more lurid tabloids had even tried to
make something out of it. But Rand had denied any estrangement between
himself and Suzie, and she believed him. He had loved his wife; he
still did!

'She left him, Merlyn,' Mark put in softly.

'How do you know that?' She wouldn't believe him.

He shrugged. 'You know what gossip is like in our
business—or perhaps you don't. You're like those three wise
monkeys, "see no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil—" '

'Oh I
see
it.' She gave him a
pointed look. 'But if you mean I don't care to hear malicious gossip
about people who have probably only ever smiled at each other, you're
right; I don't like to know about it.'

'Well, this isn't malicious gossip,' he said with
satisfaction. 'I heard a rumour about it at the time, and when I spoke
to one of the maids here—'

'
Spoke
to her?' Merlyn dismissed
scathingly.

He shrugged. 'Can I help it if she's impressed by film
stars?'

'Has she
met
any?' Merlyn returned
caustically.

Anger flared in Mark's eyes. 'Very funny,' he declared
with a noticeable lessening of his amusement at her expense. 'She told
me that Suzie Forrester had left the area a week earlier, and no one
knew when she was expected back!'

'Rand would have known—'

'Least of all Carmichael,' Mark continued. 'Ask him,
Merlyn. You'll see.'

'No!'

'Why?' he taunted. 'Afraid I just might be telling the
truth?'

She couldn't believe this, knew how Mark could lie just to
hurt her. And yet something Anne had said the other day about 'leaving
certain things that happened during the last years of Brandon's
marriage to Suzie out of the book' kept coming back to her. And yet
surely her sister leaving Rand couldn't have been one of those things?
But she knew Anne subscribed to the theory that Rand was the one still
alive, the one who could be hurt by certain things about his marriage
to Suzie being revealed;
was
Suzie's leaving him
only a week before her death one of them?

'I am, you know,' Mark encouraged softly as he sensed her
uncertainty.

'But what possible reason would she have—Oh, it's too ridiculous to even think about,' she
dismissed impatiently, shaking her head with disgust for even listening
to such a lie.

'Is it?' Mark kept up his taunts.

'Of course it is,' she snapped.

He shrugged. 'This maid seems to think Suzie Forrester
only stayed with her husband because she was so ill, that once she was
cured she left him.'

'This maid sounds like she tells a very good fairy-story,'
Merlyn scorned with finality.

'If she is telling the truth the film that we're making is
a farce!'

'In that case
you
would no longer be
needed, would you?' she returned forcefully.

A flush darkened his cheeks. 'If you can't stand to hear
the truth…' He stood up. 'Enjoy your book,' he added
mockingly before diving back into the warmth of the water.

The book she had been reading lay untouched across her
bare waist as she tried to calm her chaotic thoughts. She was only
partially successful.

Rand had lived like a virtual recluse since Suzie died.
And he had told her himself that Anne's book was incomplete, that
Suzie's notebooks hadn't told the whole picture. One thing she could be
sure of, Rand had said that both he and Suzie were faithful during
their marriage, and she believed him; if Suzie had left him it hadn't
been for another man or because he was having an affair.

'You're giving the place a bad name,' James chided lightly
as he joined her.

She forced a smile. 'I am?'

He nodded as he sat down. 'We advertise this place as
somewhere you can come to relax and enjoy yourself and forget all your
outside worries, and you've been sitting there frowning for the last
ten minutes,' he teased. 'Besides, as I'm sure your despot of a
director would tell you, you'll get wrinkles!'

She grimaced. 'And goodness knows I can't afford to get
any more of those!'

He grinned, those deep brown eyes as warm as usual. 'I
wouldn't have minded meeting you BA.'

'BA?' she echoed curiously.

'Before Anne,' he said dryly. 'Since I met her other women
have lost their appeal.'

Merlyn laughed softly. 'I think that's the way it's
supposed to be.'

'Mm.' He stretched out in total relaxation. 'I was a
confirmed bachelor until five years ago; I never realised marriage
could be this good.'

It was a perfect opening, one she might never have again,
and yet she was loath to take it. Anne and James had both been so kind
to her, it wasn't fair to use that friendship to gain information about
Rand. And yet she was only human after all.

She moistened her lips, staring out across the pool. 'Was
Rand's marriage to Suzie really as happy as it seemed to be?' She put
the question as casually as she could, wondering if she only imagined
the way James seemed to tense.

If he did he recovered quickly. 'Are you asking as the
actress playing the part of Suzie and trying to get a deeper insight
into the character—or as Brandon's lover?' He quirked dark brows. 'Don't worry,' he
drawled at her embarrassment. 'I haven't been spying on the two of you
or anything like that,' he assured her as she blushed. 'I've known from
the very beginning.'

'What beginning?' she frowned, not sure she and Rand had
ever had such a thing; they just seemed to have happened.

'Since you first called him Rand,' he told her quietly.

'But how?'

'It was Suzie's name for him when they were alone
together, or occasionally in front of Anne and me,' he revealed
huskily. 'I've never known anyone else but her to call him it.'

'But he asked me to call him that—' She
swallowed hard. 'James, I don't understand!'

'No,' he acknowledged raggedly. 'Do you think Brandon
does?'

'Do you?' she groaned, stunned by what he had just
revealed. Of course she had noticed that everyone else called him
Brandon, but she hadn't really paid that much attention to it, not when
she had a brother who affectionately called her Lyn when no one else
ever did. But that was exactly what Rand's name was too, a term of
affection, and yet he had allowed her that privilege. 'Unless he just
didn't want me to realise who he was,' she spoke out loud as the
thought occurred to her, shrugging as James gave her a puzzled look.
'He never did introduce himself properly,' she explained. 'I think he
wanted to be someone else that day. I only realised who he was when I
accidentally saw a photograph of Suzie in the house.'

'Ah,' James said wonderingly.

She didn't tell him that the photograph had been in Rand's
bedroom, or that later that night she had seen it destroyed on the
fire. Although that did bring her back to her original question. '
Were
they happy, James?' she prompted again, huskily.

'As far as it goes, yes,' he replied. 'They—had
their problems just like any other couple. No marriage is completely
without its ups and downs, it would be boring if it was. Why do you
ask?'

She chewed on her inner lip. 'He isn't an easy man to get
to know.' Which was true; even though they were lovers she knew there
was still a lot of himself he didn't allow her to see.

'Brandon is exactly what he seems,' James shrugged. 'He's
a man who has survived, in his own way, in spite of the raw deals he's
been handed most of his life. His parents were killed when he was four,
and with no close relatives willing to take him he was placed in an
orphanage. But at four he remembered his own parents too well to really
be wanted by a childless couple, refused to have them replaced in his
life. Until he met Suzie I don't think there was anyone he loved or who
loved him. He adored her,' James said simply. 'And Suzie worshipped him
in return. It was a complete marriage by itself, but they both wanted
children, were naturally disappointed when it didn't happen. Although
that never detracted from their love for each other, in fact I think it
deepened because of it.'

But there had been a child, although Anne had obviously
not revealed to her husband the slip she had made by telling Merlyn
that.

'When he found out how ill Suzie was it almost killed
him,' James continued with a frown. 'And he was right beside her when
she fought to live. I think her recovery was like a miracle to him, one
of the few he had ever known. And then she was killed in the accident.'
He shook his head. 'She was given back to him from the clutches of
death only to be taken away again. He isn't going to open himself up to
that sort of pain again in a hurry.'

If at all, Merlyn realised despondently.

'If it's any consolation,' James said softly at her look
of despair. 'You've got the closest to him of anyone
since—Well, I can't tell you how pleased Anne was when the
two of you came to dinner last night,' he amended as he realised he
wasn't being tactful.

She had been thrilled too when Rand had told her about the
invitation to the Bentons' and asked her if she would like to go. And
although the evening had had its awkward moments she had thought it
went quite well. Damn Mark for giving her these insecurities.

'You're right.' She gave James a rueful smile. 'I'm
expecting too much too soon.'

He quirked dark brows. 'Did I say that?'

Merlyn's expression was wry. 'In your usually polite way,
yes!'

'Is it too late to warn you that you could be hurt?' he
prompted gently.

'Much too late,' she nodded. 'I think it was too late for
that even before I met Rand,' she added slowly.

James gave a puzzled laugh. 'What's that supposed to mean?'

She could understand his reaction to the statement; her
feelings for Rand didn't make much sense to her either. 'Do you believe
in fate?'

'As in "meant to be"?'

She shook her head, chewing thoughtfully on the edge of
her bottom lip. 'As in "has to be". Destined.'

'Explain to this slightly befuddled man who's been having
to make two o'clock in the morning visits to the hotel kitchen to
satisfy his pregnant wife's craving for strawberries and peanut butter!'

'Well I—Strawberries and
peanut butter
!
Really?' Merlyn pulled a disgusted face.

'Really.' James shuddered at the admission. 'She sits up
in bed eating the nauseating concoction like a cat with a saucer of
cream while I literally go green!'

'I'm not surprised!'

'And she had the nerve to complain to Liza about my eating
biscuits in bed!' He swallowed hard, starting to look a little ill now.
'I don't think we should talk about Anne's nocturnal habits any more!
Besides, you're getting side-tracked.'

She knew exactly what she was doing, but when it actually
came to putting it into words about her fatalistic feelings for Rand
she felt a little stupid. All she really knew for certain was that when
it came to Rand she had no choices; she loved him.

'Merlyn?' James prompted softly.

She sighed. 'I'm a theatre actress,' began Merlyn forcefully. 'I really had no desire to go in to
films, was enjoying what I was doing too much, playing different parts
every few months or so.'

'But when the big screen beckoned you reluctantly jumped
at the chance,' mocked James teasingly.

'That's just it.' She shook her head. 'I actually
badgered
Christopher Drake into auditioning me for the part.' She still sounded
slightly dazed by her uncharacteristic behaviour—as indeed
she was. 'I'd heard about Anne's book, although I'd never read it, and
then I heard they were going to make a film, and I—Well, I
was drawn to it.'

James shrugged. 'I can't see anything unusual about that.'

'But there is,' she protested, blushing at her own
vehemence. 'Maybe if I explain a little about my family it will help
you understand,' she sighed. 'My parents are both doctors, my older
brother is a lawyer—'

'And you're the black sheep,' he sympathised.

'Professionally, yes,' Merlyn acknowledged with a frown.
'But emotionally—normally, I'm as reserved as they are.
Although I prefer to think of it as being cautious,' she added
ruefully. 'It doesn't make me sound as cold-blooded. All I'm trying to
show you is that I wanted the part of Suzie so much that I turned down
the offer of another year's contract at the theatre before Christopher
had even decided to give me the part, let alone attempted to overcome
Rand's prejudices. Can't you see that this just isn't me?'

'Who is it, then?' He looked confused.