Mesalliance (16 page)

‘Now?’ she
asked weakly.

‘Why not?
There’s no time like the present, you know.’

The suite of
rooms – bedroom, dressing-room and sitting-room - to which he took
her were hung with lilac silk and furnished in mahogany from the
hand of Mr Chippendale; there were pale Aubusson carpets, huge
gilt-framed mirrors and bowls of fragrant white roses. Adeline,
however, was conscious only that the curtains were drawn, the
candles lit and an elegant supper for two was laid out in the
boudoir.

Rockliffe
surveyed the room more critically and said, ‘My mother had a
fondness for mauve. I have never been sure why. If you wish to
change it, please feel free to do so.’

On top of
everything else, the suggestion that she might like to re-decorate
was a little too much. She swallowed and said, more abruptly than
she had intended, ‘I’m not sure I can cope with all this. You
realise that I don’t know the first thing about being a
duchess?’

‘I realise you
think
you don’t – but the truth is that the only trick is in
being a lady; and that, my dear, you already are.’

‘But there are
so many things I don’t know!’

‘I am aware of
that, too. But it’s nothing that can’t be remedied.’ He paused. ‘It
hadn’t, I suppose, occurred to you that I might help?’

She flushed a
little and looked down at her hands, saying nothing.

‘Obviously
not,’ he continued dryly. ‘But you may believe that I’m not
entirely insensitive. I know that you need time to adjust … and
that there are things which you must learn. It is probably the main
reason we are going to the Priors. Yes – I know I said I won’t stay
in London during August and that is true. But it will be easier for
you to settle into your new life in Kent with just Nell and myself
than it would be here with the vulgarly curious coming to
call.’

‘Would
they?’

‘Without doubt.
There will be a notice of our marriage in tomorrow’s
Morning
Chronicle
- a necessary precaution if we are to avoid the
appearance of furtiveness.’ He smiled down on her bent head. ‘So –
as I was saying. You will have time to acquire some of the skills
you think you lack. But make no mistake. I am not Pygmalion looking
for my Galatea … and I neither expect nor want you to change.’

The blue-green
gaze rose slowly to his.

‘You
don’t?’

‘Odd as it may
seem – no. I do, however, wish to give you this.’ He gestured to
the flat leather box reposing on the small table between them.
‘Open it.’

Her nerves
snarled again. With careful reluctance, she did as he asked … and
yet was still unprepared either for what she saw or what it did to
her.

‘A bridal
gift,’ said Rockliffe at length. ‘You don’t like it?’

‘I – yes. Yes.’
Her throat was paralysed.
Oh God – don’t let me cry
. ‘How
could I not? It’s exquisite. But you shouldn’t – I can’t -- ’

‘Quite.’ His
fingers were at her nape, calmly removing the single strand of
pearls she’d borrowed from Nell and causing strange sensations to
ripple down her spine. Then the glittering necklace of aquamarines
and diamonds slid coldly around her throat and she was being turned
to face him.

‘Yes,’ he said.
‘Just as I thought. Look.’

Once more she
obeyed the pressure of his hands to view herself in the mirror. He
was still behind her … tall, undeniably magnificent and so close
that she could feel his warmth against her back. She said unevenly,
‘It’s beautiful. Thank you. But you – you ought not to have done
it. You’ve given me so much already.’

‘My dear, no. I
have merely provided a few necessities. This – dare I say it? - is
different. There is also, you may have noticed, a bracelet.’

Without moving
away, he lifted it from the box and, reaching both arms round her,
fastened the pretty thing on her wrist. He felt, rather than heard,
her breath catch; and, with his fingers still against her wrist,
knew also that her pulse leapt. He was distantly aware that he
ought to let her go … but there was something in the wide
aquamarine gaze that he couldn’t quite interpret, so he didn’t.

His eyes,
dangerously mesmeric, met hers in the glass and held them. That and
the fact of being so close to him made Adeline feel faintly dizzy.
Her senses were wholly disordered and she knew a sudden
over-powering urge to lean against him and stop fighting. But her
fear of where it would lead was stronger and it jerked her mind
awake again. ‘
It’s too soon
,’ she told herself. ‘
Much too
soon. Take hold of yourself and
use your brain.
Now
.’

With the best
smile she could manage, she twisted smoothly away from him towards
the supper table. A bottle of wine caught her eye and, unable to
think of anything else, she said a trifle breathlessly, ‘Your
generosity is a little overwhelming. I think, if you don’t mind, I
should like that wine now.’

‘With
pleasure.’ His tone remained perfectly bland but, just for an
instant as he attended to the bottle, his eyes were shadowed by
something akin to disappointment. ‘As you can see, I took the
liberty of ordering supper – in the hope that you might now feel
inclined to eat.’

She had done no
more than toy with the various delicacies of their wedding
breakfast. It surprised her that he had noticed.

She said, ‘And
you? Are you hungry?’

He raised his
head and gave her the sudden, uncluttered smile that was beginning
to have the effect of turning her bones to water.

‘That, dearest
Adeline, is a question probably best left unanswered,’ he replied
audaciously. And then, ‘Tell me; would it cast you into a fever of
apprehension if I removed my coat?’

‘Not at all,’
she managed carelessly. ‘It’s only when the shoes come off that I’m
prone to panic.’

‘Oh? I must
remember to bear that in mind.’ He shed the pearl brocade coat,
followed it up with his embroidered vest and then handed her a
glass of wine before raising his own. ‘To us … and a long,
harmonious life.’

Adeline drank
gratefully, half-inclined to think that it wouldn’t matter which of
them got drunk so long as one of them did. It was manifestly
unfair, she thought, that shirt-sleeves should suit him so well for
she had enough problems already.

Rockliffe
remained where he was for a moment, looking at her and recognising
that, for possibly the first time in his life, his feelings defied
logic. He had known all along that he wanted her but found himself
shaken, again, by the force of it. And what utterly astounded him
was the fact that it suddenly seemed ridiculously important that
she
should also want
him.
He had intended, this first
time, to use all his arts to seduce her … and he knew that he could
still do so. What he did
not
know was whether it might,
after all, be better to make the ultimate sacrifice and wait.

He was torn …
and, that, in itself was a novelty. The only trouble was that he
was growing impatient to sample that wide, inviting mouth again;
and if he did that, he suspected he would be even more reluctant
than he already was to spend his wedding-night alone. On the other
hand, it was possible that a little patience and temperance at this
point might eventually yield rewards of unimaginable sweetness …
for he did not think she was entirely indifferent to him even now.
It was a gamble. The question was whether or not he wished to take
it.

He sat down
and, for the next hour over supper, allowed her to direct the
conversation. This she did by pursuing strictly impersonal topics
and maintaining her brightest, most impervious manner. Rockliffe
had no difficulty at all in ascribing this to nerves and an attempt
to keep him at bay with her tongue. In one sense, it was perfectly
understandable; in another, he felt vaguely insulted that she
didn’t seem to credit him with any self-control. He also started to
notice the way she appeared to be seeking refuge in her wine-glass.
He felt a twinge of something he didn’t immediately recognise …
and, from there, it was a short step to irritation.

‘Are you merely
trying to dull your senses or aiming at complete unconsciousness?’
he asked caustically, at length. ‘If it’s the latter, we’d better
ring for another bottle.’

Adeline
blinked, startled both by the unexpectedness of his attack and its
accuracy.

‘N-neither.’

‘Don’t lie. If
the prospect of sleeping with me strikes you as a fate worse than
death, I’d prefer you to do me the courtesy of saying so.’

‘If it were
true, I probably would,’ she replied. ‘As it is, I’m trying quite
hard to come to terms with the fact that, married or not, we
scarcely know each other.’

‘Indeed?’ He
leaned back and folded his arms. ‘And how long do you suppose it
will take to remedy that? Another eight years?’

‘That is both
stupid and unfair! Eight years ago we met on a handful of occasions
– and have hardly exceeded that score in the last ten days. Yet
here we are, married. And if you were as sensitive as you think you
are, you’d realise …’ She stopped.

‘I’d realise
what? That you’d like me to keep my distance?’

She flushed. ‘I
wasn’t going to say that.’

‘No? Well, then
…perhaps you were going to observe that, since I’m clearly
in
sensitive, I’m sitting here with every intention of
presently ravishing my reluctant bride. Is that it?’

‘You tell me,’
she snapped. ‘Or am I mistaken and this intimate little scene isn’t
leading to the Grand Seduction at all.’

‘That, madam,
would naturally depend on exactly how reluctant you are,’ he
drawled. ‘Which, my intuition suggests, is less than you’d have me
believe.’

This was too
close for comfort. Adeline raised her brows and said inimically,
‘You would think that, of course. Anything else would be an affront
to your vanity, wouldn’t it?’

She was given
ample time, before he spoke again, to regret this remark. Then, in
a tone of dangerous sweetness, he said, ‘For someone who admits to
hardly knowing me, you are extremely free with your judgements. It
is a mistake.’

She was already
miserably aware of this but was careful not to let it show.

‘I suppose
you’re going to tell me why.’

He looked at
her out of implacable dark eyes for a moment and then came
collectedly to his feet. ‘Dear me.
What
a lot of traps
you’re springing for yourself this evening.’

‘Meaning?’

‘That it is not
my custom to justify myself – particularly when it would, in any
case, be a waste of breath.’ An odd smile invested his mouth. ‘I’m
sorry if it disappoints you, my dear – but I can actually manage to
keep my hands off you. And that being so, I shall do myself the
honour of bidding you goodnight.’

It should have
been a relief but somehow it wasn’t. She watched him retrieve his
coat and said tonelessly, ‘You’re going? Just like that?’

‘I’m going –
just like that,’ he agreed. And making her a slight but very formal
bow, he headed for the door which led to his own rooms.

Suddenly
ashamed of herself, Adeline rose quickly from her chair. The years
rushed back at her and, aware of nothing but the importance of
making peace with him, she said, ‘Tracy – please wait!’

He stopped dead
but did not turn. And Adeline, seeing only his unyielding back, had
no way of knowing that he was holding his breath whilst waiting to
see what she would say.

She said, ‘I’m
sorry. This – this is all my fault. It seems I’ve grown so used to
waging my own war of cutting remarks that I’m unable to stop.’

There was a
pause and then he said remotely, ‘A war requires an adversary. Do
you see one in me?’

‘No.’

‘No?’ He turned
then and a vestige of humour reappeared in his eyes. ‘I am relieved
to hear it. What makes you think it was your fault?’

‘You know why.
The reason you - one of the reasons you married me was because you
wanted … you said you wanted …’

‘To make love
to you,’ said Rockliffe helpfully. ‘Yes. Did you believe me?’

‘I don’t know,’
came the truthful reply. ‘But you were quite clear about it so I
knew the bargain I was making. Only here I am now, behaving as if -
oh, as if you’ve just abducted me by force, when I know perfectly
well that there’s no need for it because all I ever had to do was
ask you to wait for a little while. And you would have done.’

‘I’m glad,’ he
said simply, ‘that you realise it. I was beginning to think you
didn’t. For the rest, of course … the fault was probably mine.’

Adeline stared
at him.

‘My sense of
guilt,’ she remarked wryly, ‘is already thriving. You don’t need to
tend it.’

‘My dear, you
malign me. I am merely admitting that, originally, it was indeed to
have been the seduction scene. Or so I hoped. But you need not fear
another … or not, at least, until you give me reason to suppose
that it will be welcome. Does that,’ he finished amicably, ‘go some
way towards restoring me to grace?’

Since she had
neither hoped for nor expected such an offer, it went much further.
It also taught her that, in some perverse way, it was probably the
last thing she wanted. She said helplessly, ‘You are more generous
than I deserve.’

‘And shall
doubtless, in due course, be rewarded.’ Smiling faintly, he
returned to possess himself of her hands. Then, dropping a light
kiss on each slender wrist, he said, ‘Once more – and in better
understanding – goodnight, Adeline. Sleep well.’

And was
gone.

*

Alone in his
room with a book he did not read and a glass of wine he did not
drink, Rockliffe spent an hour in serious thought. It was the first
time, he realised, that he had actually addressed the reality of
the situation facing him and the problems that might arise from it.
He had been too busy ensuring Adeline’s comfort, equipping her
suitably and, of course, getting married. What he had
not
done was to consider properly the things that might be going on in
her head – so the fact that he was spending his wedding-night in
solitary state was, rather annoyingly, his own fault.