Mica (37 page)

Sun uttered a mocking laugh. “As if you could.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong but if you talk to me I can help you.”

“You can help me by forgetting about marrying me. Find yourself a good woman from the Kennas.”

It was his turn to laugh. “You can’t expect me to believe a few cultural differences would turn you away from me.”

“It has nothing to do with culture. It has to do with me living how I want to. The last thing I need is a husband and a bunch of brats keeping me from my duties and my pleasures.”

Mica’s chest tightened. He could scarcely believe Sun was uttering such words. She was the kindest, most courageous woman he’d ever known. She’d risked her life for others and had cared for him at his worst. He’d fallen madly in love with her but suddenly she’d become a stranger.

“Sorry, Mica. Find someone who can give you the family you’re looking for. I thought I loved you enough to marry you but I can’t go through with it.”

He touched her face gently with his fingertips. “I love you, Sun.”

For a moment her gaze softened and he thought she would step toward him.

Instead she shoved his hand aside and continued down the corridor, calling over her shoulder, “You’ll get over it.
The Sparrow Song
leaves at the end of the week. I’ll be aboard her.”

“Dame Sun.”

She didn’t so much as glance over her shoulder before disappearing down the steps.

Pride stopped Mica from chasing her. If she’d pierced his heart with her sword she
couldn’t have hurt him more. Since the moment he’d seen her he’d been attracted to her and he loved her more with each passing day. How could he have so misjudged her?

Perhaps she was simply nervous and needed time. But she was leaving in a week. She would change her mind. She had to.

Deep in thought Mica walked to the chambers below to join the Priests in ritual. Yet that morning his mind wasn’t on the dance or the prayers. His heart ached for a love he desperately wanted but had most likely lost forever.

* * * * *

“Gaping holes left by stars torn from the majestic ebony cloth.” Blaze shook his head. “Such foolishness.”

He and Sun were sparring on the training ground behind the palace at Ademene.

“Sorry. I wasn’t concentrating.” Sun stepped back.

“I didn’t mean your defense though I’ve seen your technique far better than this. I meant your parting with Mirrored Rock.”

“I told you this is the best decision for both of us.”

“You didn’t supply all facts. How could he decide anything?”

Sun’s gaze fixed on the Knight’s. “Blaze, please don’t interfere between me and Mica. If you do this time I don’t think I’ll forgive you.”

“I’ll obey your wish.” The Knight shook his head in frustration. “Love is too precious a jewel to cast to the wind.”

“Blaze, you know I can’t make him happy.”

Stepping closer to Sun, he took her hand. “Who better to supply joy than one’s love?”

“Please, Blaze. Don’t you think it’s hard enough to walk away from him?”

He squeezed her hand. “Then you should not.”

“I have to.”

“You could tell him the truth and let him choose.”

For a moment she closed her eyes, mourning a life without Mica yet fearful that given the choice he would marry her and end up miserable. “What if he chooses me?”

Blaze opened his arms and smiled. “Then all is well.”

“No it’s not. He wants children.”

“He has a daughter and there are many other children—”

Breaking away from Blaze, she began pacing back and forth. “You didn’t see the look on his face when he talked about having children.”

“He was going to surrender his manhood for religion.”

“Yes but now he’s seen that becoming a Priest isn’t really what he wants. He can find another woman. One more suitable for him.”
“Feathers of soaring ones. Froth on the waves. Born partners forever entwined.

Brightest Star, you know in your heart this is wrong.”

“No. I know it’s right. Now please, Blaze. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

The Knight nodded, hugging her close. “I wish I could ease your sadness.”

Sun rested her head against his shoulder. “Thank you, Blaze.”

* * * * *

For the next several days Sun and Mica avoided one another. He worked with the Priests and assisted Bedouins who were preparing to move back to the desert. Sun either practiced on the training field or spent time with Sparrow and Lock who also accused her of making the wrong decision regarding Mica. Friends were wonderful most of the time but when it came to leaving the man who was perfect for her they did nothing but make the task more difficult.

Three afternoons before
The Sparrow Song
sailed, Sun visited Lock and Sparrow in their room. A servant knocked on the chamber door. Lock accepted a message written on a slip of sealed parchment. He broke the seal and read, his brow furrowing.

“What is it, love?” Sparrow stood on tiptoe, reading the message Lock held. She gasped. “I don’t believe it.”

“What?” Sun demanded, overcome by curiosity.

“It’s an invitation to join a celebration of newly appointed Priests,” Sparrow said.

“Sent by Mica.”

“Mica?”

“The crazy bastard’s going to have his balls cut off in two days,” Lock said, looking disgusted.

“Give me that.” Sun tore the message from Lock’s hand. She read the Kennian symbols then crushed the parchment in her fist. “Why the hell is he doing it? I thought he wanted a wife and family.”

“Apparently the only wife he wants is you,” Sparrow said.

“I need to talk to him. He’s making a mistake.”

“I’ll go with you,” Lock said.

“No. You irritate him, Lock.”

The Knight had the nerve to look taken aback, though whether he was serious or teasing Sun couldn’t decide. “Me?”

“Just mind your own business, Lock,” Sparrow scolded as Sun left the room.

Sun found Mica practicing the ritual dance in the lowest chamber of the palace. She watched, captivated by every graceful movement of his sleekly muscled body. The idea that she’d never again make love with him drove her to near madness. Never in her life had she wanted a man so badly.
When the dance ended Mica approached, his expression stern.

“Why are you doing it?” Sun demanded. “Why are you becoming a Priest? I thought you enjoyed your freedom.”

“I’m becoming a Priest to better serve my Goddess.” His frustratingly serene expression made her want to shake some sense into him, mostly because she knew he was burying his true feelings. He had to be. Mica’s passions ran too deep for him to want to go through with this archaic ritual.

“One moment you want to marry me and the next you want to be a eunuch. As fickle as you are it surprises me that the High Advisor is even allowing you to undergo this ritual.”

“We never made a formal announcement of marriage and anyone can make a mistake.”

Though Sun had ended their relationship his words still hurt. She resisted the urge to run up the steps and out of the palace.

“You said you wanted a wife and children. How can you ever hope to have either if you castrate yourself?” Though she tried to sound reasonable, Sun’s emotions colored her words, making them sound almost accusing.

“The only woman I want is you.”

“So it’s either me or your balls get cut off?”

“You are no longer an option.”

“You can’t do this,” she said through clenched teeth.

“I’ve spent years training for Priesthood. Perhaps it was fate that you decided not to fulfill our plans. I should thank you for stopping me from making the wrong choice.”

“This is the wrong choice, Mica.”

“If you’ll excuse me, Dame Sun, I must continue with the ritual dance.”

Nodding, she stalked back upstairs, out of the palace and directly to the training field where she spent the next several hours practicing.

Just three more days and she’d be away from the Kennas. Just two more days and Mica would be a Priest.

She hadn’t given him up to be mutilated. There had to be a way to convince him his decision was wrong before it was too late.

* * * * *

Later that afternoon Sun visited Ebony Starr in the courtyard. Val was caring for the girl while Mica performed duties in one of the temples just outside of Ademene.

Though Val didn’t mention her split with Mica she sensed his curiosity. Still she wasn’t about to detail her most intimate moments to the Priest.

She sat on the ground and joined Ebony in playing with two carved toy horses.
Val perched on a stone bench and stroked Ebony’s dark hair. “Mica was so looking forward to raising her with you.”

“I’ll miss her,” Sun admitted. Ebony and Mica were the closest she’d ever had to family of her own and she doubted another such opportunity would ever drift her way.

“You’d make a good mother.”

“I’m not the motherly kind. Believe me.”

“But—”

“Val, I’d rather not talk about this…” Her voice trailed off when she noticed Val staring toward the gates.

Mica approached, his brow furrowed and his expression irritated.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he demanded, picking up Ebony who squirmed in his arms, reaching for Sun, apparently wanting to finish their game.

Sun stood along with Val. The Priest’s gaze darted from her to Mica.

“I was just visiting—”

“I don’t want you spending any more time with her.”

Sun wondered if she appeared as stunned as she felt. “Why not?”

“Because you’re leaving.”

“That’s why I want—”

He glared. “You want. You’re seeing her because
you
want to, not even considering how she’ll feel after you’re gone.”

“Perhaps I should take Ebony if you’re going to argue.” Val reached for the girl.

“We’re not arguing,” Mica stated but passed Ebony to Val who left them alone.

“Leaving me is one thing,” Mica said. “I can handle it. She’s just a child.”

Sun folded her arms beneath her breasts. “You’re handling it exactly like a bratty child. You can’t have what you want so you’re cutting off your balls for spite. And you’re using Ebony as an excuse to vent your anger on me.”

“I’ve been part of Ebony’s life since the day she was born. I might not have physically created her but she is my daughter. I would never do anything to hurt her nor would I use her for my own purposes. And if you hadn’t noticed, Dame Sun, I have spent the past several years training for Priesthood. This is not some whim.”

“Like I was?”

Hurt flickered beneath his angry expression. “You were not a whim and you know it. You were the only person who could have kept me from the Priesthood.”

“Mica, if you wanted me then you can find someone else you want just as much.”

“I don’t want anyone else. The only piece of good advice my father ever gave me was never love anyone especially a woman.”

“And we all know what an excellent model of a man your father was,” she said, her voice dripping bitterness.
The two glared at each other before Mica turned and stalked toward the palace, leaving Sun cursing under her breath.

* * * * *

“You’re sure you want to do this?” Lock asked Sun.

The Knight and Dame stood together outside a temple in Ademene.

In moments the Ceremony for Priesthood would begin. Initially it had been decided that the ceremony would take place in the Palace, however due to some heavy renovations the ritual had been moved to one of the smaller temples in the city square.

High Advisor Kado was presiding over Mica’s ceremony.

“I’m sure. He’s making a terrible mistake.”

Lock snorted. “That’s an understatement. You know he’s probably going to want to kill both of us.”

“He’ll get over it.”

Shaking his head, Lock said, “Sparrow’s going to roast my ass after this.”

“She’ll get over it too. Now are you sure you can do it?”

“Don’t worry about me. Just make sure the horses are ready.”

“They’ll be ready. Thank goodness the ceremony isn’t taking place in the Palace.

The ritual table there is built directly into the floor. At least in this temple it’s just wooden.” A tingling feeling spread through her. She knew this was the right thing to do but regretted that it would probably add to the bitterness already festering between her and Mica. She forced such thoughts from her mind. It didn’t matter if he hated her in the end. At least she would have stopped him from making a terrible mistake.

Lock grinned. “You know there won’t be much left of his dignity.”

“Better than there not being much left of his manhood.”

“This isn’t the best idea for me. He can’t stand the sight of me as it is.”

“That’s because you goad him.”

“Traditional people like him are the most fun to goad.”

Raising an eyebrow, Sun said, “Sparrow’s right.”

“About what?”

“You are incorrigible”

“I do my best.” Lock glanced through the window. “They’re getting ready.”

“You’d just better make it tight.”

“It’s a metal lock. They’ll be no worries.”

No worries.
Sun drew a deep breath. The only real worry would be whether or not Mica killed her.
* * * * *

Mica’s stomach clenched and he willed himself not to tremble. The ceremony hadn’t really bothered him until moments ago. All of a sudden the idea of being castrated made him weaker than an attack of bog tremors.

Val handed him a goblet. “Drink this.”

“What is it?”

“It’ll dull the pain.”

“Completely?”

Val laughed. “Nothing short of death dulls that pain completely.”

“Thank you for the encouragement.”

“At least you have a choice. I was castrated as a boy. Just think, you’ll be closer to the Goddess’ image.”

Another Priest glanced in the tiny chamber adjoined to the main temple where Kado and several witnessing Priests waited. “The ritual is beginning. Enter immediately.”

“Go,” Val whispered, shoving Mica who seemed rooted in one spot.

Mica only had time for a quick swallow of wine before he shrugged off his robe and stepped naked through the door.

“That won’t be nearly enough wine,” Val whispered beside him.