Mid Life Love: At Last (17 page)

“Do you have your passport, Claire?” Helen looked at me as Greg opened the backdoor.

“Why would I need my passport?”

“Because we’re going
out of the country
and you need a passport to get in and out of the states.
Please
tell me you have it.”

“Out of the country? I thought we were going to Vegas.”

“
Vegas
? Seriously, Claire? I went there
last year
—been there, done that. We’re going to
Costa Rica
!”

“
What
?!”

“Why do you think I’ve been making such a huge deal about this? I want you to experience
ultimate bliss
. Let’s go.” She tugged me towards the plane.

“But I told Jonathan we were going to Vegas.”

“You’re not supposed to tell Jonathan anything. This is a
bachelorette party
, Claire. Whatever happens in Costa Rica, stays in Costa Rica—unless he has an American VISA and I want to bring him back for a week or two.” She winked and gestured for me to get on the plane.

I stepped aboard and took a deep breath, squeezing my way past two carts of alcohol. On the very first seat was a huge bouquet of white lilies and a card:

Dear Future Wife & Exotic Dancer,

I’m not thrilled about the next few weeks of torture, but I do hope that you enjoy your bachelorette party. (Just not too much.) I’ll be in the penthouse suite at Caesar’s Palace in Vegas this week if you need anything.

Your Future Husband & Awed Fan,

Jonathan

PS—I love you.

I smiled and noticed that there was something else in the envelope—a small packet with four red pills and another note:
“To help you sleep on the way there and back—Jonathan”

“Welcome aboard, ladies!” I heard Helen say as high pitched laughter filled the cabin.

I turned around and found myself face to face with Helen’s other set of best friends—Kimberly and Bobbie Jo. They looked like they’d stepped right out of a magazine—perfect makeup and hair
as usual
, which was fitting since they were both former supermodels.

She’d met the two of them years before she met me, and she always bragged about how she helped them to sue Maybelline for millions of dollars.

I still remembered the first time
I’d
met them, the time they dared me to do a body shot with a complete stranger and encouraged me to “gently brush up against his dick...just to see if it’s as big as it looks...” They’d claimed that that was step one to getting over Ryan, step one in showing him who was better off.

I can’t be left alone with the three of them for A WEEK...Where the hell is Sandra?!

“Nice seeing you again, ladies. I’ll be right back.” I smiled and slipped away to the restroom. I immediately pulled out my phone and called Sandra.

It rang six times before she picked up.

“Hello?” She was whispering.

“Are you on your way to the airstrip? The flight leaves in thirty minutes.”

“Ohhhh, no. I am so sorry, Claire...”

“You’re not coming to my
bachelorette party
? Are you serious?”

“It wasn’t intentional. I was packed and ready to go this morning but...I’m
engaged
now!” She squealed. “Michael popped the question and he’s taking me to France tomorrow! Can you believe that?” There was a man’s voice in the background. “Wait, wait. It’s Claire. Give me ten more seconds.”

“
Ten more seconds
?”

“I really am sorry, Claire. I’ll make this up to you, I promise. I’ll take you out for drinks and a night on the town the second I get back.”

“You can’t leave me with Helen and her friends...It’s one or the other—I can’t deal with
all
of them.”

“They’re
your
friends too, Claire.” She was rolling her eyes—I could tell. “Maybe hanging out with them more often will stop you from being so uptight.”

“You think I’m
uptight
?”

The line went dead.

Ugh...
I shook my head and the door opened.

“Phone sex?” Bobbie Jo stepped inside and flipped her long, honey colored tresses over her shoulder. “Is that what you’re doing?”

“The door was closed, Bobbie Jo.”

She shrugged. “I used to have phone sex all the time—back when I was doing shows overseas and no one around me spoke any English. I would call home just so I could get fucked over the phone.”

“I wasn’t having
phone sex
. I was talking to Sandra.”

“No need to explain. If I was engaged to
Jonathan Statham
, I would have sex with him any way I could—
any time
I could. I bet he fucks like a champion.”

Oh, god...

“Claire? Bobbie Jo?!” Helen called out from the cabin. “We’re about to take the first shots of the night!”

I stood up and followed Bobbie Jo out of the restroom, silently reminding myself that this trip was only a week and that even though they were all wild, I wouldn’t let them talk me into doing anything that would make Jonathan upset.

“Here you go, Claire.” Kim handed me two shot glasses. “You look a lot happier since I saw you last year. You’re
glowing
.”

“Thank you.”

“If I was having sex with a billionaire every day I’d probably be glowing too...” Helen picked up a bottle of vodka and filled our glasses. “Speaking of which, is his friend Corey single?”

I rolled my eyes and tossed back both shots. I had the sudden feeling I was going to need to be drunk all weekend.

Helen quickly refilled my glasses before holding her own drinks up high. “To men with huge dicks, never-ending sex, and to Claire’s last days as a single woman!”

We all laughed and tossed back the drinks seconds before the flight attendant asked us to take our seats.

I sat down and sent Jonathan one last text—“Going to Costa Rica for the week, Love you,” and swallowed two of the pills he’d given me. Before I knew it, I was staring at the back of my eyelids. 

––––––––

“H
ow do you pronounce the name of this place again?” Kim sighed.

“Peninsula Papagayo.” Bobbie Jo enunciated each syllable. “The Gayo rhymes with
I-yo
.”

“I’ll just keep saying
Costa Rica
...”

I rolled over on my beach blanket and looked off into the distance. Peninsula Papagayo was one of the most beautiful places I’d ever explored: The waters that surrounded its coast were as blue as its sky, the lush greenery that stood behind the resort stretched for miles and miles, and pure, white sand covered all of its beaches.

We’d only been here for three days, but it’d been way more relaxed and laid-back than I thought it would be.

When we’d first arrived and checked into our private estate—an opulent six bedroom, four bathroom villa that sat right on the waters, Helen had given me a travel brochure and told me to choose whatever I wanted to do.

I was shocked that she’d even asked for my suggestions, but per my request we’d gone sailing, bungee jumping, and taken a five mile hike on a wildlife trail. In between snorkeling, kayaking, and sight-seeing, we’d relaxed on the beach and downed countless umbrella drinks to pass the time; I honestly hoped the rest of the week would be the same.

Bobbie Jo tapped my shoulder. “Are you relaxed enough to finally have some
fun
now? Or do we need to do another
recreational activity
? More tropical bird watching perhaps?”

“It was a
wildlife hike
. Those birds were beautiful.”

“They were also
boring
!” She rolled her eyes. “We’re going out every night for the rest of the week because I refuse to do anymore touristy-bullshit. Starting tonight, you’re going to dress like you’re single, dance like you’re single, and since you aren’t married yet—you’re going to
act
like you’re single.”

“Agreed.” Kim stood up and covered me with her shadow. “No more lame outdoor shit, no more beach-napping, and no more late night calls to Jonathan.”

“I haven’t called Jonathan...”

They both crossed their arms and gave me blank stares.

“I only call him once a day.”

“He’s in Vegas right now!” Kim practically screamed. “
Vegas
! He’s enjoying himself to the max and you should be too!”

“I
am
having fun...”

The two of them pulled me up and walked me towards the shoreline, slipping their arms around me like they were holding me up. Then they pushed me into an oncoming wave.

“We’re going to keep doing that until you wake up and realize where the fuck you are.” Kim laughed. “No more calling Jonathan. Okay? Helen has been planning this trip for
weeks
and she really wants you to have a good,
sexy
time. That’s why she went back to the room for the afternoon—she’s planning what we’re going to do tonight.”

“She went back to the room with a half-naked bartender...”

They both burst into laughter and joined me in the water.

“Okay, so maybe she got
bored
from doing outdoor activities for three days straight.” Bobbie Jo shrugged. “But tonight, all of that changes. Got it?”

––––––––

L
ater that night, Helen slipped into a sundress and smiled. “I am now an official member of the thoroughly well-fucked club! Today’s romp goes down in my top ten fucks of all time.”

“I thought you didn’t keep count.”

“I don’t keep count. I do
rank
though.” She laughed and handed me a huge strawberry margarita. “Are you ready to finally start your bachelorette party?”

“It’s not going to be anything crazy, right?”

“Of course it is.” She rolled her eyes. “Hurry up and drink that so I can get you to the first surprise.”

“Wait...Are Bobbie Jo and Kim coming with us? Why did they ditch me after the beach?”

“Drink the damn drink, Claire.”

I sighed and downed the drink in three huge gulps—wincing at the incredible amount of alcohol that was mixed in.

“Okay now, here...” She pulled me up and secured a blindfold around my eyes. “Step forward...Watch your step...Step up a little bit...Okay now keep moving forward...”

I didn’t know where the hell she was taking me, but half an hour later she was still leading me around.

“Thank you sir,” she said to someone as she pushed me forward.

A cool blast of air hit my face and I could feel the smooth floors of an indoor building. I kept following her directions until she suddenly grabbed my shoulders and held me still.

Clearing her throat, she removed my blindfold and I realized I was standing in the middle of a massive spa and salon. There was no one else around except Bobbie Jo and Kim, and they were standing on the other side of the room, waving at me.

“Before we can get the
real
party started, Kim and Bobbie Jo are going to give you a much needed makeover.”

“
What
? I don’t want a makeover.” I waved my ring in front of her face. “And I clearly don’t
need
one.”

“Sweet, naïve, and
foolish
Claire...” She shook her head. “You’re making married woman mistake number one and you’re not even married yet. No man wants to come home to the same woman month after month. You have to switch it up every now and then. Keep him interested, make him remember why you’re the—yeah...Feel free to fill in all the shit I don’t believe in right there.” She laughed. “I personally
love
your style and your hair, but you’ve been wearing it the same way for four and half years so it’s time for a change. Besides, I highly doubt two supermodels will screw you over.”

“Are you going to stick around and watch?” I noticed her stepping backwards.

“Claire, there’s a vaginal steaming spa right down the hall. The treatment is supposed to tighten my walls and make sex ten times more pleasurable. Where do you think I’m going to be?”

“You’re a terrible friend.”

“I love you too.” She walked me over to Kim and Bobbie Jo. “Please don’t scare Claire too much. She’s practically innocent.”

They laughed and shooed her away.

“Sit down here.” Bobbie Jo helped me into a salon chair. “You have very good symmetry, Claire. I’m not sure if I ever told you that before.”

“Thank you very much.”

“No, no, no. I was talking
about
you, not
to
you. This is
business
.” She grabbed a tweezer and plucked one of my eyebrows. “Look at this, Kim. These brows aren’t in line with her natural shape. We need to fix that now so they’ll be shaped perfectly when she gets married.”

“You’re right...What about her hair? I’m not really feeling this color.”

I cleared my throat. “
No
. I like my red hair.”

Kim raised her hand and gave me a look. “We know beauty, Claire. We’ve worked with the best, dated the best, and we’ve fucked the best. We know exactly what we’re doing.”

“The red can stay, but it needs more volume—
way
more volume.” Bobbie Jo looked at me like I was an impossible project. “I’m thinking auburn highlights and a blowout.”

“And a deep mask facial...”

“And a mud bath...”

“And a
major
exfoliating process... ”

The two of them kept listing treatment after treatment, talking about me as if I wasn’t sitting right in front of them.

A waiter appeared out of nowhere and held out a tray of champagne glasses. I took two and sipped them as fast as I could.

“Claire?” Bobbie Jo tapped her chin. “We’re trying to figure out what color we should paint your lips...Tell me something, after you get done giving Jonathan head do you spit or swallow?”

I spluttered my champagne into the air. “
Excuse me
?”

“She
swallows
.” Kim laughed and helped me stand up.  “Good for you, Claire! Spitters are quitters!” 

Jesus...

Bobbie Jo tossed her head back and laughed. “Sinful red for you it is!”