Mind Gym (5 page)

In Seligman’s study, comparing insurance sales agents’ performance, the pessimists were far more accurate about predicting the conversion rates of sales calls—that is, the number of calls that resulted in an actual sale. The optimists generally got the conversion rate wrong, typically thinking it was less difficult to convert a lead into revenue. In fact, the optimists were way off in their assumptions. But did it matter? The pessimists gave up making calls earlier than the optimists, who persevered and got the extra sales. But the pessimists were right.

Some pessimists prefer to label themselves “realists.” And that is a fair assessment: they are more realistic than optimists in their analysis of a situation—in fact, they are typically right about their assessments. The realist school justifies their mode of thinking by arguing that by being realistic about the world, they will never be disappointed or let down by events. That sounds rational. But does it work?

The irony is that even with this play-it-safe behavior, realists are still more likely to be disappointed than optimists. This is because when something apparently bad does happen, an optimist tends to focus on the upside, while a realist focuses on the downside. Say, for example, both an optimist and a realist are turned down for a bank loan. The realist thinks,
I suspected as much
, and congratulates him- or herself on not having built up false hopes. The optimist, however, thinks,
I now know what I need to do to increase my chances of being approved next time
, and goes back for a second attempt. Guess who actually has better odds at eventually getting the loan. Yep, the optimist.

In the early academic thinking on optimism, it was believed that optimists took responsibility for positive events and put the responsibility for negative events on external factors. (Pessimists, of course, were believed to do the opposite.) In the previous example of Mike and Ashley, Mike takes credit for the barbecue and blames the summer parties for his tummy. A danger does exist that if someone gets carried away with their optimism, they might end up ducking responsibility: they might ignore a problem until it grows out of proportion or they rely too much on wishful thinking as a route to achieve their aims.

An attentive optimist is the kind of person who treads a careful path between taking too much responsibility and taking far too little. After an event that results in a positive outcome, an attentive optimist will take some credit but only what that person feels is his or her due. Consider a professional athlete who scores the winning points of a game and gives credit to his teammates during a postgame interview for making the play possible—it’s a humble and gracious public act. But rest assured, in private the attentive optimist athlete is still extremely proud of his accomplishments.

By contrast, an undiluted optimist is inclined to see this one example as definitive proof of his athletic superiority and never-ending good fortune.
That’s just how great I really am
, he might tell himself. And a pessimist, as suggested previously, will give the credit to external factors (perhaps other people) and so reap very little or no satisfaction from his own contribution. He might think,
My winning point doesn’t really count because my team is so good
or
The opposition is so bad that a monkey could have made the play
.

An attentive optimist will accept appropriate responsibility when a task, event, or situation goes wrong, and then explore what can be learned from the experience. This is likely to include lessons for the future, which is in sharp contrast to the undiluted optimists, who tend to place the responsibility elsewhere.

An attentive optimist, then, is the kind of person we should all strive to be. But how much of one are you?

The following diagnostic is designed to help you determine how much of an optimist you already are and which ways you can adapt yourself to become an attentive optimist, if you want to.

For each of the following statements, imagine the described situation and allocate a total of 10 points between the four options (
a, b, c
, and
d
). This could be a combination of 3, 3, 4, 0 or 10, 0, 0, 0 or 7, 0, 2, 1—whatever you think best represents your inclination in each situation. The only rule is that the total points for each statement equal 10.

  0. My favorite color is blue.

a. Only on weekends
  2  

b. Unless it’s paired with orange
  4  

c. Because it feels cool
  0  

d. Because it brings out my eyes
  4  
     
(Total points: 10)

  1. Someone is rude to me for no obvious reason.

a. She is having a bad day. ____

b. She is a rude person. ____

c. I barely noticed. ____

d. I must have done something wrong. ____

  2. My proposal for a new project at work is rejected.

a. I can learn from this for next time. ____

b. I messed up. ____

c. They wouldn’t know a great idea if it was in front of their noses. ____

d. That destroys my chances of promotion. ____

  3. I phone my favorite local restaurant to reserve a table, but it is already fully booked.

a. I may as well find somewhere better. ____

b. It’s my own fault for not calling earlier to make a reservation. ____

c. Why is it always me who has to book the restaurant anyway? ____

d. I’ve ruined the whole evening. ____

  4. I cook dinner for friends, and although they say it is delicious, most of them barely touch the food on their plates.

a. In the future, I’ll practice a new dish before trying it on guests. ____

b. I’m embarrassed. I am a terrible host. ____

c. My friends said it was delicious and I’ve no reason to doubt they were telling the truth. ____

d. My friends will never want to visit me again. ____

  5. I get lost on my way to visit a friend.

a. I can see where I went wrong; it’ll be easier next time. ____

b. I am a lousy navigator. ____

c. My friend’s directions are useless. ____

d. My friend will be very upset that I’m late. ____

  6. I read an article in the newspaper that gives me the information I need to impress a client.

a. It’s a good thing I keep up to date with current affairs. ____

b. What a fluke. ____

c. Good things happen to me. ____

d. I suspect my client knows the information already. ____

  7. My team wins a game in a two-on-two basketball tournament.

a. We’re a great team. ____

b. The opposition must not be very good. ____

c. I am a fantastic basketball player. ____

d. It was all thanks to my partner. ____

  8. My partner / close friend really likes the birthday present I bought her.

a. I am good at buying presents. ____

b. Thank goodness she gave me a hint. ____

c. I bet there aren’t many partners/friends who would have chosen so well. ____

d. I’ll never be able to get her something as good for Christmas. ____

  9. I cook dinner for friends and they praise my food.

a. I’m a good cook. ____

b. My friends are easily pleased. ____

c. When I really try at something, I can make a success of it. ____

d. There wasn’t anything special about it. They must have low expectations about my abilities. ____

10. Someone compliments me on my clothes.

a. I do look good in this outfit. ____

b. He clearly doesn’t have much of an idea about style himself. ____

c. He must really like me. ____

d. What a nice thing to say. ____

Total your points for each option (
a, b, c, d
) in the diagnostic and enter the numbers here:

a: ______

b: ______

c: ______

d: ______

To see how much of an optimist or pessimist you tend to be, use this formula to calculate your points:

(
a
+
c
) – (
b
+
d
) = _______

If your total is a positive number, then you tend to think optimistically; if it is negative, then you tend to look at things pessimistically. The higher the number, the more you tend to think in this way (the maximum is 100 on either side, positive or negative).

The
a
responses represent an attentive optimist’s typical viewpoint and
c
are the responses of an undiluted optimist. If your total
c
points are higher than your total
a
points, then your optimism probably needs reining in or it will be counterproductive. You are likely missing out on the “attentive” part of attentive optimism.

If you gave 2 or more points to a
c
response for any statement, it suggests certain types of unrealistic optimism:

The two pessimistic responses—
b
and
d
—have different meanings too. A
b
response is straightforward pessimism based on the explanatory style described earlier. A
d
response represents more accentuated pessimism.

If your pessimism is mainly of the
b
type, then the best way to go about becoming more of an optimist is to explain situations differently to yourself after you’ve experienced them. When something goes wrong, try describing the situation as specific and temporary (e.g.,
The shower curtain didn’t stay up
this time), and when things go well, describe them in a universal, permanent, and personal way (e.g.,
I’m great at all home repair projects
).

If you gave 2 or more points to a
d
response for any statement, it suggests certain things other than your explanatory style are worth looking at if you want to benefit from attentive optimism. Review your
d
responses to any of the statements outlined in the following list, because this will give you further insight into your type of pessimism.

So far, we have suggested that optimism is preferable to pessimism, and broadly speaking this is true. However, there are a handful of circumstances in which it is better to switch to a more pessimistic outlook. One of the tricks to being an attentive optimist lies in knowing when to be optimistic and when to be pessimistic. In summary, there are three situations when it is best to adopt a pessimistic outlook:

The optimism that helped you succeed in your day job could be a disadvantage when you are considering big decisions, such as changing your lifestyle completely. Too much optimism in this situation can result in wishful thinking.

How comfortable would you be if you knew that the pilot of your plane was being optimistic about having enough fuel to get to your destination? Yeah. Serious.

Try telling someone whose mother has just died that they are really lucky because they will inherit a lot of money and will no longer have to spend Christmas being reminded of all their faults. Try it. We can pretty much guarantee that this conversation ends very badly.

In almost all other situations, you are better off being broadly optimistic.

Kevin likes playing chess. The person Kevin most often plays chess with is himself. When his friend Alan saw him playing white and then swapping seats and playing black, Alan was confused. “Don’t you always lose?” he asked. “No,” replied Kevin, “I always win.”