Minecraft: Diary of a Minecraft Zombie Book 5: School Daze (An Unofficial Minecraft Book)

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This unofficial Minecraft novel is an original work of fan fiction which is not sanctioned nor approved by the makers of Minecraft. Minecraft is a registered trademark of, and owned by, Mojang AB, and its respective owners, which do not sponsor, authorize, or endorse this book. All characters, names, places, and other aspects of the game described herein are trademarked and owned by their respective owners.

Sunday

I can’t believe it!

It’s almost here.

Just a few more weeks till summer break, which means no more Scare school!

That means no more teachers, no more books, no more villagers’ dirty looks…

And no more having to go out and scare villagers for an entire summer.

Now, don’t get me wrong…I like scaring the occasional villager.

Especially when they drop cool stuff like cake, or a bow and arrow, or something like that.

But nothing beats being able to do whatever you want on summer vacation.

Now, I was trying to think about what I’m going to do for summer vacation.

I was thinking of just playing video games and eating cake all day…And do it every day for the next three months.

But, I’m sure my Mom and Dad are not going to let me have that much fun.

I think they think that ruining my summer vacation is part of their Zombie parent job description or something.

Or I was thinking of just spending my whole summer hanging out with Skelee, Slimey and Creepy, and getting into all kinds of trouble.

But there’s not a lot of trouble we can get into in a small town like the one we live in.

Maybe we can tip over a few spiders, or knock on the witch’s door and run away.

But after the first day, we’re going to have to find out what to do with the rest of the summer.

My Mom and Dad said they were thinking of sending me to camp for the summer.

But there’s no way I’m going to spend part of my summer making crafts and eating gross camp food.

Plus, I would probably miss all my friends, Sally, and Steve.

I just have to make sure that I get a good report card so my parents don’t punish me by sending me to camp.

Well, anyway, all I know is that I can’t wait for school to finish.

All I have to do is get through these next few weeks and I’m home free!

Monday

A lot of the kids at school today were talking about what they’re going to be doing this summer.

Skelee said that his parents were to going to take him to Yellowbone National Park. I think he said that’s where his parents are from.

Slimey said he was going to the Superflat Biome. He said they have big fields where he can have fun and jump around.

And Creepy said his parents were sending him away to camp.

I felt really bad for Creepy. But he said he’s been going to camp for the past three years.

He said he liked camp because they make crafts, play lots of sports, and eat really good food.

Sometimes I think Creepy is living in another world…

The guys asked me what I was doing for summer.

I just told them I was going to play video games and eat cake all summer.

“I wish I could do that.” Skelee said. “But my parents always ruin it. I think they feel like if they let me have fun, then they’re not being good Skeleton parents, or something.”

I’m really going to miss my friends for the summer.

But I think Steve is going to be around so I’ll hang out with him.

I went to go visit Steve to see what he was up to.

I found him night fishing by the lake.

“Hey Steve!” I said.

“AAAAAHHH!”

“Zombie, why do you always sneak up on me like that?!!”

“I’ve been practicing for my Scare exam that’s coming up in a few weeks.” I said.

“Oh, that makes sense.” Steve said.

“By the way,” Steve said. “I was just thinking of something I wanted to ask you. Why did your parents name you Zombie?” Why didn’t they call you “Joe” or “Edgar” or something like that?”

“Zombie is not my real name. That’s just a nickname people call me,” I said. “My real name is Zack. Zack Zombie.”

“Zack Zombie, really?”

“Yeah, most Zombies have the last name Zombie,” I said.

Like my uncle Harry Zombie

Or my neighbor Seymour Zombie

There are also a few kids at school with the name Zombie too. There’s…

Ima Zombie

Ada Zombie.

Major Zombie

Nada Zombie

Norma Lee Zombie

Sacha Zombie

Ivana Zombie

So Yung Zombie (I think he’s Korean)

Zeena Zombie

Yuri Zombie

And there’s even a kid named Zombie Zombie.

“Oh, so Zombie is kind of like Smith or Jones with humans,” Steve said.

“I guess,” I said. “Is your last name Smith?”

“No…Actually, I don’t know my last name.”

“Whoa.” I said. “But I bet if you did it would be something cool like “Steve Human” or something like that.”

Steve just looked at me…Confused.

Tuesday

Tomorrow is picture day.

That’s when we take pictures for our school yearbook.

I don’t like taking pictures.

No matter how I smile, I always end up looking like a real noob.

Big mouth Jeff always looks really good in his pictures.

And this year he was lucky. He got a case of the chicken pox right before picture day.

Now, he’s going to look really awesome.

A lot of the other kids got chicken pox too.

But for some reason I couldn’t catch it.

It’s like all the other kids get all the cool diseases like: measles, mumps, lice, chicken pox, small pox and even some cool flesh-eating diseases too.

But for some reason, I can’t get any.

It’s like the only disease I ever catch is a case of bad luck.

Wednesday

My Mom got me a new outfit for picture day today.

It’s a good thing that picture day is only once a year…

I think I look like a real dork.

When I got to school all the kids were dressed in their best clothes.

I had never seen mobs look so good.

And then big mouth Jeff and his crew arrived, all covered in chicken pox…

…And they looked awesome.

I wanted to look awesome…

So I decided to fake the measles.

Hey, I couldn’t get the chicken pox, but I think I could fake the measles.

So, I took a red marker from my teacher’s desk and I ran to the bathroom.

But the bathroom was full of mob kids getting ready for pictures.

So I ran to the janitor’s closet instead.

There was no mirror in there so I just started dotting my face with the marker.

“Man, this is gonna’ look so good,” I thought.

Once I was finished, I walked out of the janitor’s closet.

I was so proud of my measles that I decided to strut down the hall so that everyone could see me.

All of a sudden, all the kids started staring at me, and giggling.

Some kids even started laughing out loud.

I caught my reflection in the window and I had accidentally dotted my face with a black marker, instead of a red one.

I knew it was weird that the marker cap was red, and the rest of it was black.

My face looked like a green and black checkerboard.

I ran to the bathroom to wash it off, but the bathroom was still full.

So I ran back to the janitor’s closet again.

Just my luck, when I tried to use the sink, it was broken.

Then I saw a big bottle of something that had liquid in it.

It had an old label that was really hard to read. I think said, “BLE-CH.”

It sounded like something somebody would use if they felt like their face looked “Blech.”

So I soaked a rag in it and rubbed my face over and over again with it. I had to rub really hard to get the marker off because it was permanent.

It was weird because by the time I finished the rag was full of all kinds of colors including black, green and red.

But I was just glad I got it off.

So, I walked outside and did my strut down the hallway.

This time, no one was laughing, but they sure were staring at me with the biggest eye sockets I had ever seen.

“Man, I must look real good,” I thought.

I walked into the room they were taking pictures in and the photographer’s eye sockets grew really big too.

“Are you sure you want to take your picture?” He asked.

I guess he thought I missed a button on my shirt or something, so I fixed it.

“Go for it!” I said proudly.

“OK.” He said with a weird look on his face. Then he took my picture.

Man, I can’t wait till the yearbook comes out.

This picture is going to look so awesome!

Thursday

Stayed home from school to grow my face back today.

Ouch…

My Mom said it was probably the flash from the camera that made my face melt off like that.

“I guess my baby is just a sensitive soul.” She said.

Oh brother…

Friday

Today at school, we had to write an essay about what we are going to do for the summer.

I was going to write about how I was going to stay home all summer and play video games and eat cake.

But I didn’t want my teacher to tell my Mom and Dad at the Parent-Teacher conference tonight.

I don’t like Parent-Teacher conferences…

I think teachers and parents probably get together to plot ways to ruin all the kids’ summer.

I can imagine the Principal getting up and saying, “OK everyone. How can we make sure we ruin the kids’ summer this year?”

“Make sure they have lots of chores to do!” Somebody would say.

“Make sure you invite all of your weird relatives to stay with you for the summer… And make sure you give them the kid’s room to sleep in.” Another person would say.

And of course somebody is going to say, “Send them away to camp for the whole summer, where they can make crafts and eat nasty camp food.”

That’s probably the one idea that everybody is going to agree with.

Then I realized that if I just write my essay about “how much I love camp,” instead of my video game and cake marathon, then my teacher won’t have anything to say to my parents at the Parent-Teacher conference tonight.

It was genius!

So I wrote my whole essay on how cool it would be to go to camp for the summer.

I wrote about much I love to make crafts; especially lanyards and macaroni pictures.

I wrote about how great the cafeteria food is.

I even wrote about how camp would be a great way for me to make new friends for the summer.

I’m sure with an essay like that; my teacher will be totally fooled and not tell my parents about my real summer plans.

I got this in the bag!