Mint Cookie Murder (7 page)

"I don't suppose I've told you yet how stupid this idea is?" Kelly frowned behind me. I could virtually feel her frowning.

"Not since five minutes ago," I said, my voice muffled by the clothes in the closet. I was rummaging for my spy suitcase. It was filled with all the stuff I'd ever need in my life of not being a spy anymore. My fingers grasped the worn, leather handle, and I yanked it out, gulping in the rush of fresh air.

I took the case to the breakfast bar and opened it. Kelly appeared over my shoulder.

"Seriously. You should really think about this."

"Her name is 'Angela,' Kelly.
Angela!
" I said as I plucked a tiny camera from the suitcase. It was the size of a pack of Wrigley's gum. One end held a tiny lens, and there was a small button on top. The bottom of the camera was a screen so I could see what I was taking pictures of. There was a tiny LED light for a flash, but I'd be too far away for it to be useful. I turned it off. A light would just make me stand out anyway.

I retrieved a small, velvet bag from the case and removed its contents. The tracking device was a tiny magnet with a super thin wire coming out of it. There was also a monitor the size of a GPS unit.

"What are you going to do with those?" Kelly asked.

I looked her up and down. "Go get changed. Wear black."

"No way," Kelly said. "I promised Riley I'd be with you every moment."

"Fine," I sniffed. "I'll change, and then we'll go to your house."

Ten minutes later, Kelly was sitting in her car a couple of houses up from my house, and I was sneaking up Rex's driveway dressed all in black. My boyfriend's SUV was parked out front, not in the garage, so it only took a few seconds to place the tracking device. I'd just climbed into Kelly's car as Rex came out of the house.

"If we're going to follow him," Kelly whispered, "why do we need a tracking device?"

"Just in case we lose him," I whispered back as I watched Rex stride out to his car and get in. Wow. He looked fantastic. He had on khaki slacks and dress shoes, a button-down shirt and tie, and a navy blazer. Huh. He didn't get that dressed up with me. My throat started to ache a little.

"Get going!" I hissed as Rex started to pull out of the driveway.

"I can
not
believe I'm doing this," Kelly whispered, throwing the car into drive and creeping slowly down the street.

I turned on my monitor and saw the satisfying little red spot that told me Rex was on the move. Kelly's car was the blue dot.

"You're doing this because you love me."

"By the way, why are we whispering?" Kelly whispered.

I looked at her for a second. "I don't really know," I said in a normal voice.

We followed Rex in silence as he made his way to the downtown area. That made sense. Angela was staying at a hotel, so he must be going to pick her up. And if he lingered there for more than 10 minutes after dropping her off, I was going to use the carrot I brought.

Rex pulled into the check-in area for the Radisson and went inside. Kelly parked across the street and turned her lights off. We sat there, waiting.

"She's probably trying to lure him up to her room to seduce him," I grumbled.

"Why would Rex cheat on you?" Kelly asked. It was a stunner of a question. One I didn't think I could answer. Why would Rex cheat on me?

"I don't think he'd go that willingly," I said. "But Angela would pull out all the stops. Men are pretty weak when a naked woman is begging for it."

"Oh for crying out loud." Kelly rolled her eyes. "He told you about it. You said he called you "my gorgeous angel." What more do you want?"

I might have exaggerated what Rex had said to me a smidge. Yes, I'm that insecure.

"There they are!" I was back to whispering for some reason. In seconds I had the camera up and was taking pictures as fast as I could.

"Okay, so she's pretty," Kelly said.

I stopped and looked over the camera. She
was
pretty. Rex, my boyfriend, was laughing as he escorted an attractive honey-gold blonde to his car. Angela was wearing a coat over a dress and high heels. She was grinning at him. He opened the door to the passenger side, and she got in. He closed the door behind her.

I slumped in my seat. "Never mind. It's over. I can't compete with that. Let's get a couple quarts of ice cream and go home to cry."

Kelly started the car. "No way. Not a chance. You finally get a decent boyfriend and you're giving up?"

I stared at her. "What's the point? I make myself miserable watching them flirt all night? I'd rather go home and drive bamboo splinters under my nails."

Rex started driving, and Kelly followed. "No, we're going to follow him so you can see that there's nothing going on. She's probably married, and they're just friends." She had the most determined look on her face. A look I'd seen since we were kids. There'd be no backing out of this now.

"Can we just get ice cream to eat while we spy then?" I asked. I thought it was a fair question. I hadn't had dinner.

We followed them to Trattoria Italiano
—
the nicest restaurant in town, and parked outside as the two went inside. My heart was around my ankles. Kelly jumped out and ran to the convenience store at the end of the block, returning with two pints of Ben & Jerry's. I loved her.

"What about spoons?" I asked.

Kelly rummaged through the glove compartment and found some sporks. We started eating as the maître d' sat Rex and Angela in a window directly across from us. I really couldn't have set it up any better. We watched as he ordered a bottle of wine, and it was served by the sommelier.

"So why does Riley have you hiding out at the yarn shop?" Kelly asked through a mouthful of Chunky Monkey.

I picked at my Phish Food. "Some stupid assassin is after me." I told her the whole story as we watched Rex and Angela talking and laughing and eating out in a nice restaurant. Something he never did with me.

That struck a harsh note. What kind of relationship did Rex and I even have anyway? We never went out. We hadn't told ourselves we were dating each other exclusively. We fooled around but weren't having sex. Maybe I didn't have a right to think of Rex as my boyfriend. Yeah, so
that
didn't depress me even more. If I was going to get through this surveillance, I was going to have to decide that I was in a committed relationship with Rex. I'd just have to tell him that
he's
in it later.

"How do you get yourself into these situations?" Kelly asked.

I shrugged. "Just lucky, I guess." I set down the ice cream to take a few more photos, but my heart wasn't in it. I was pretty convinced that Rex and Angela were picking out wedding invitations and deciding on the reception venue.

"They're just having dinner," Kelly said, nodding toward the couple. "I haven't seen anything that says otherwise."

"Not yet," I mumbled.

"You need to listen to Riley, by the way," my best friend insisted. "If he thinks you're safer at the yarn shop, you are."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm sure you're right. I just don't want to admit it to him. That man's got enough of an ego as it is."

She winked at me. "Are you sure that's all it's about?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Kelly settled into her seat and played with the ice cream, swirling her spork in it. "I think Riley has feelings for you."

I shook my head. "I doubt that. He just likes messing with my head. He likes bossing me around."

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiight," she said, taking a mouthful of Chunky Monkey.

So, she'd seen something. Huh. Maybe there was something to that. How weird was it that we were talking about Riley liking me, while I was spying on my boyfriend? I felt emotionally compromised. More than I'd ever felt on any mission. I didn't like that feeling.

Rex and Angela were eating dinner. They still laughed and talked but nothing more.
Yet.

Kelly started giggling.

"What?" I asked suspiciously.

She waved me off. "Nothing." She giggled again, this time a little harder.

"
What
?" I asked.

"It's just…" She couldn't stop laughing. "You. Imprisoned in a yarn shop. I always imagined your life as a spy to be a little more…more dangerous." Kelly started getting hysterical. "I mean, a Turkish prison…sure, or a cave in Cambodia, okay…but a yarn shop?"

I was not amused to see tears starting to pour down her cheeks.

"I didn't pick the location," I said crisply. And I sure as hell wouldn't have picked a yarn shop. I was not crafty in any way. Maybe Riley chose it to humiliate me. At least that's what it was starting to feel like.

"Maybe you can escape by crocheting a ladder…" Kelly snickered.

"Shut up, or I'll make you a sweater," I growled. "A really ugly one that I'll make you wear all the time."

Unfortunately that seemed to set her completely off, and I sat there simmering in silence as my best friend laughed so hard she cried. I ignored her by watching Rex and Angela eat dessert. Separate desserts. On separate plates. They never so much as held hands.

Maybe Kelly was right. I was being ridiculous. Sitting across the street, hiding in a car, dressed in black, taking photos of my boyfriend was a little crazy. Okay, a
lot
crazy. What was wrong with me? How had I become so neurotic?

"I think you're right. This was a stupid idea." I tossed the empty container of ice cream on the floor and looked at Kelly, who had regained her composure but was looking up ugly knit sweater patterns on her cell phone. "We should probably go back."

Kelly nodded and started the car. "Of course I'm right. I get that you're a little paranoid. But you're going to have to trust someone besides me sometime."

"What makes you think I trust you?" I asked, putting on my seatbelt.

"Because I'm a genius," Kelly said dryly. "And you know I'm right."

I nodded. "You were this time." I tilted my head toward the restaurant. "Please don't tell Rex I, uh, did this?"

"And let him dump you? No way! Then you'd monopolize all my time." She winked. "I'm not an idiot."

No you're not. But I sure am.
I was feeling pretty bad as she put the car into drive. I looked over to see Rex and Angela coming out the front door of Trattoria Italiano. Kelly and I ducked down in our seats as Rex looked around. Now that I'd come to my senses, it wouldn't do for Rex to see me and ruin everything.

It started to rain, and the two ran to Rex's car. Angela stood behind him as he unlocked the passenger door, and she slid something into his coat pocket. Rex didn't even notice as he opened the door and helped her in.

"Did you see that?" I asked.

Kelly nodded. "It's nothing. Maybe he insisted on paying for dinner, and she was slipping money into his pocket. I've done that."

Rex ran around to his side of the SUV and put his hand into his pocket. He reached in and pulled out something. I whipped out the spy camera and zoomed in, taking pictures. Rex looked at the card, then at the car. Then he got in, and they drove away.

"See? She gave him money," Kelly said as she started driving in the opposite direction.

I looked at the image on the camera and zoomed in.

"First, we need to stop at the nearest drug store," I said, my stomach lurching.

"What? Why? Do you need something?" Kelly asked.

"Yes." What I needed was to get some photos developed. Because what Angela put in Rex's pocket wasn't money. It was a small, plastic card. A hotel room key card. At least, that's what it looked like on the tiny camera screen. And I needed to make sure that's what it was. Before I broke down the door and extracted Angela's teeth and fingernails…one at a time.

"Can I help you?" A bored teenage girl with vacant eyes and limp hair of a color that could only be described as "dust bunny" stood at the photo counter of the closest drugstore. The overhead lighting cast a depressing, gray glow over everything. I'd bet you'd never find the glamorous Angela here. It kind of made me hate her a little more.

"Yes," I said, my hands closing around the mini spy camera in my pocket. "I need to print some pictures."

The kid, whose nametag improbably said
Emmanuelle,
seemed apprehensive. She turned and stared at the photo equipment for what seemed like several minutes.

"Huh. No one ever really does that anymore." The girl walked around behind a large contraption and rustled some papers. She then returned with a book. It was a manual for the machine.

"Do you know how to do that?" I asked.

Emmanuelle looked at me with glassy eyes and shrugged. Her mouth hung open the whole time. I wondered if she couldn't breathe with it closed.

"People usually just print pictures at home. If they print them at all," she said. Every word came out in monosyllable. Lobotomized sea cucumbers had more enthusiasm.

"Well, I don't have a printer," I said simply. "So what do I do here?"

She shrugged again, making me think that confusion was her favorite emotion. "Do you have the SD card or something?"

I pulled out the camera and handed it to her. Her eyes grew wide as she turned it over in her hand. "What's this?" She asked.

"It's my camera," I said, rolling my eyes.

"It is?" Emmanuelle asked, turning it over as if it might sprout a mouth and tell her what to do.

"She's not used to that," Kelly said in my ear. "It's not a normal camera."

"It's the only camera I have!" I protested. But Kelly was right—using a spy camera was probably not my brightest idea.

"How did you print pictures from it before?" Kelly asked.

I shrugged now. "I just handed the camera to Riley when I was done."

"I think…" Emmanuelle said slowly as she handed the camera back to me. "You gotta take out the SD card. That's what we'll insert into the kiosk. I think." Well, at least she
thinks
. The girl raised her right arm to point at another dusty machine in the corner.

"Oh, right," I said as I started to think, maybe for the first time tonight. I twisted the camera and turned, and it opened. I reached in with my fingernail, popped out the SD card, and handed it to her.