Minus Me (13 page)

‘These dead people.’

‘I doubt it. They’ve been nothing but bones and dust for hundreds of years.’

He goes over to the coffin and sticks his hand in and fishes out a skull. He holds it up and talks to it.

‘What do you say, sir? Are you angry?’ he asks.

Zak’s out of his mind, Linda thinks to herself. But her mouth is too dry for her to say anything. It’s as if her lips were glued together with superglue.

‘Did you always talk this quietly when you were alive, sir?’

‘No,’ answers the skull puppet.

‘Zak, I want to go now,’ she says, finally managing to tear her lips apart.

‘Theses are just bits of old bone. They’re not important. There’s nothing left here of these people or the lives they lived. You see, Linda, the important thing is what you do before you get here.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘That it’s too late for regret when you’re a pile of bones,’ Zak says gently.

‘But—’

Linda stops mid-sentence and looks into the two black holes that once held eyes. What has she left undone? she asks herself. Although, of course, she already knows the answer: Axel.

‘You’d better get your arse in gear before it’s too late! What do you say, sir?’ Zak asks the skull, which, of course, nods in agreement.

‘Stop it! Stop it!’

Zak starts swaying with the skull in his hand, and hums.

‘Always look on the bright side of life,’ he sings, before breaking into a whistle. Linda has to bite her lip to stop herself laughing. Zak is pleased she’s cheering up and continues to sing and whistle, until he suddenly stops and holds the skull to his ear.

‘Oh, really? Do you think so?’ he asks, looking at the skull that nods back. ‘Right . . . I see . . . we’ve got a message from the other side here,’ says Zak.

‘And that is?’

‘Life, my girl, life is meant to be enjoyed as long as it lasts,’ says Zak.

He carefully places the skull on the pile of wooden planks that had, until tonight, been a tomb. Then, as though it’s the most natural thing in the world, he picks up the bit of bone that fell to the ground and sticks it in the pile with the others.

‘The point is that it’s never too late. You exist here and now, so be present in the here and now.’

‘That’s not true. I am too late,’ says Linda, irritated at all the wise-guy stuff Zak constantly spouts.

‘But are you really too late?’ he says. ‘I’ve seen the way you look at your phone, the way you think about the text that might come, that has got to come from this Axel guy. And if it doesn’t? Then what? That list you’re carrying around; is that going to help against death?’

Linda sighs. Zak walks over and strokes her cheek. But Linda pulls away, shuddering at the touch of his cold fingers.

‘I think it would do you good to have a bit of a laugh. Come on, I’ve got more things to show you.’

‘Like what?’ asks Linda, relieved to be leaving the crypt, but uncertain about what else Zak might have up his sleeve. Perhaps he wants to show her something even more horrifying.

‘We’re going all the way up to the top!’

‘Oy!’

‘You may well say!’ says Zak with a grin, grabbing her hand again.

Chapter 27

Zak almost flies up the long, narrow staircase towards the tower. Linda huffs and puffs so much behind him that she feels quite embarrassed. Her heart feels like it’s beating in sticky syrup. Linda tries to control her breath so she sounds less like a decrepit steam engine. Just as she’s about to ask for a little break, Zak stops on a landing above her and rests his hands on his knees.

‘Pff! I need a break!’ he says.

‘Me too,’ says Linda, panting and wiping her forehead, which is drenched with sweat. ‘Uhh!’ she says, trying to laugh.

‘It’s a beautiful building, isn’t it?’ says Zak. ‘Europe’s most northerly mediaeval cathedral.’

‘It’s beautiful, but spooky.’

‘Why do you think it’s spooky?’

‘Well, they say there are ghosts here; that there’s a monk who walks around.’

‘And you believe that? You saw for yourself that the dead rest quite peacefully in their coffins.’

‘I don’t know. It’s still a bit spooky with so many dead people about.’

‘What do you find so spooky about it?’

Linda doesn’t reply. She doesn’t have a good answer. Why does a pile of bones scare her almost as much as when she nearly fell and killed herself on her way up into the cathedral? Linda looks down at her hands, and gives her fingers a stretch. It’s cold, even though they’re indoors.

‘Can you hear that?’

‘Hear what?’

‘Hear the complete silence,’ he says, taking her hand. He’s cold too. They sit down, side by side, and say nothing for a while.

‘Do you believe in God, Zak?’

‘Which god?’

‘Why can’t you ever answer a question directly, instead of asking questions in reply?’ asks Linda, sighing and leaning back.

‘I have to understand what you mean by the word “god” before I can tell you whether I believe in it or not.’

‘Okay. Do you believe in a god who lives in heaven and who created the earth and human beings? The usual kind of god.’

‘No,’ says Zak.

‘No?’ Is that it? Is Zak finally giving a simple, straightforward answer to something?

‘No, I don’t believe in any usual god, but . . .’

‘Argh! You’re off again!’ she sighs.

‘Well, what about you? You always want simple answers to complicated questions. Can’t you just accept the fact that things might be a bit more complex? More fantastical? Am I really meant to give you a yes/no answer to something human beings have wondered about ever since time began?’ Zak has stood up now and is waving his arms about, his coat flapping like the wings of a raven.

‘Calm down. I only asked what you believed. Surely that’s allowed!’ Linda protests.

‘Yes, I suppose so,’ Zak says, sitting back down. ‘But one thing I do know is that the people who built Nidaros Cathedral believed in God, or at least in a power that was bigger than themselves. Perhaps that’s why we say things are heavenly, when we mean they’re beautiful? Because God is in them . . . because God is in everything that’s beautiful.’

‘Do you think so?’

‘It’s a nice thought at least, because it means we’re in contact with God whenever we’re kind or feel happy.’

‘You make it all sound so simple. But what about the times when we do stuff that’s bad – does that mean we’re in contact with the Devil?’

‘The Devil, hmm. I think the Devil is just an idea we’ve come up with, to explain the fact the world isn’t always exactly rosy. We need opposites. Just like there’s no life without death; there’s no good without evil. Agreed?’

‘I suppose.’

‘Human beings have good and bad in them. It’s a compass, in a way, for how we should behave. When we do something right then we feel good, and when we do something wrong we feel bad,’ he says, suddenly throwing Linda up onto his back before she has a moment to think.

‘Hey! What are you doing now?’ she says, flinging her arms round his neck. She can feel that his body is very slender; how can he be so strong? Again, the thought hits her that he might be supernatural, and possibly dangerous too.

‘You’re very strong,’ she says carefully. If he’s dangerous it’s probably best not to provoke him in any way.

‘Thanks. But you’re not exactly heavy. Typical girl! Thinking she weighs a ton when she’s a skinny little thing!’ he jokes, setting off up the stairs again.

When they reach the final landing Zak puts her down. The last flight of steps is too narrow for him to have her on his back.

‘Can you manage the last few stairs yourself?’ he asks.

‘Of course,’ she says, following close on his heels.

At the top Zak takes out the same key as he has used the whole time, and opens the door out onto the night.

‘Does that key fit everywhere?’ asks Linda.

‘Seems like it,’ he answers.

He stands aside to let her go out first. She has just stepped out when her mobile bleeps in her pocket. Linda feels her heart beat a little harder as she takes it out and reads the text. I want to be the first one to say Happy Birthday Linda! Axel Xxx :o)

‘There, you see!’

‘What?’

‘That you don’t need to spend so much time worrying. Well? Are you going to text back and tell him you love him?’

‘No. But I’ve got a plan.’

‘Good. But don’t worry about your plan just yet. Right now, we’re going to look at the moon. And don’t forget; the only place we can be is here and now.’

He laughs and gives her a little poke.

‘Alright, Mr Wise Guy,’ answers Linda.

She glances up at the moon and across the town. She has a plan. A great and wonderful plan that she can’t possibly stop thinking about, however much Zak tells her to be in the here and now. She’s not going to die in her own bed with a pathetic little whimper. She’s going to ride like a knight on a white charger, and fix all those stupid things that happened last summer. If Zak’s right about the inner compass that shows the difference between good and bad, hers is now telling her to go south and straighten things with Axel. She can feel the thought soothing her, and when she looks up at the moon again, she can see how beautiful it is.

Chapter 28

Saturday afternoon, Linda stands on the front steps and looks at the doorbell. She has one hand in her pocket. She’s fiddling with the clown nose. It’s like a soft ball, and it’s nice to squeeze. Linda rings the doorbell, then walks back down a couple of steps and puts the clown nose on.

Maria opens the door. She says nothing. Just looks at Linda.

‘I’m really sorry, Maria. I’m sorry for being so vile yesterday. You’re so kind and always mean well. You are the best friend in the world, and you’ve unfortunately got the worst friend in the world. Me! I’d do anything to—’

‘Oh, stop it,’ interrupts Maria, stepping aside to let Linda in.

Linda charges up the steps and kicks off her shoes in the hallway, as she has so many times before. She throws her arms round Maria’s neck and gives her a big hug.

‘I love you to bits,’ Linda says, before releasing her friend and flinging off her jacket. Then she takes off the red nose and presses it in Maria’s hand. Maria smiles and puts it on her own nose.

‘Come on, Linda, let’s go to my room. I’ll chuck Anna out.’

Ten minutes later the two friends are sitting on Maria’s bed. On the bedside table stand two cups of hot chocolate and a plate of waffles that Maria’s mother has made for them, since, as she said, it’s Linda’s big day today. She even told Maria’s annoying little sister, Anna, to stay away and leave the older girls in peace, despite it being her room as much as Maria’s. And as if to top it all, Maria’s mother has put whipped cream on the hot chocolate. Linda loathes hot chocolate, and can’t stand cream. They make her feel sick. But Linda smiled and thanked Maria’s mum.

Maria picks up her mug and says, ‘Bottoms up!’ She takes a big slurp and gets a creamy moustache on her top lip, which she gleefully licks off. Meanwhile, Linda stares down into her mug, watching the cream melt into the hot liquid.

‘Ah, I forgot! You don’t like hot chocolate! Shall I get you a Coke?’ asks Maria, already on her way out.

‘No, don’t worry. I can have a little sip,’ says Linda.

She takes a spoon and stirs the nauseating cream into her hot chocolate, hoping it might improve it a bit. Instead of taking a sip, she puts her mug aside and takes out her mobile.

‘I got a text from Axel last night,’ she says.

‘He seems keen,’ says Maria, reading it.

‘How would you know?’

‘It’s obvious! He sits up until after midnight just to be the first to say happy birthday! And then he sends you kisses and a smiley face! Boys don’t bother with stuff like that unless they’re keen. What did you answer?’

‘I didn’t.’

‘Okay, good. You’ve got to write something totally neutral. He mustn’t start getting ideas. You’ve got a boyfriend now.’

‘But I think I like Axel more.’

‘You’re sure that isn’t just because you can’t have him?’

Maria’s words hurt, partly because Linda has had so few texts from Axel recently. But there’s something else nagging her too. Linda grabs her mug, takes a slurp, and goes into defence mode.

‘How do you know I can’t have him?’

‘Okay, okay. So you can have Axel, but then what will you do about Oscar? You can’t just go breaking his heart.’

‘And you’re saying that now! You’re the one who wanted us to get together,’ Linda says with a sigh. Maria can be unbelievably thick sometimes.

‘But I didn’t think it was that serious with Axel,’ says Maria, pouting sweetly and taking another gulp of hot chocolate.

‘Well, anyway, I’ve decided to visit Axel this half-term,’ says Linda, suddenly feeling defiant.

‘But I thought your family were staying in town for the holidays?’