MIRACLE ON KAIMOTU ISLAND/ALWAYS THE HERO (29 page)

Tom took a step closer. ‘But you and Jack could come and live in Auckland.’ He was speaking more quietly now. With an intensity that revealed this wasn’t the first time he’d thought about this. ‘We could be a family, Abby. We could...we could get married.’

It was that tiny hesitation that broke Abby’s heart. That...
reluctance
. Or an acceptance of the inevitable? He would be marrying her only for Jack’s sake. To make them a family.

The result might be something Abby had dreamed of countless times but the means of getting there was not enough. Not nearly enough. She shook her head with a sharpness that spoke of despair.

‘Kaimotu’s our home,’ she said. ‘We’re happy here.’ Up until a few weeks ago she would have automatically added,
We’re safe here.
They still were, emotionally.

Or were they? Jack already adored his father and she...well, any safety barriers she’d had around her heart had been showing cracks ever since Tom had shown up so unexpectedly in her life again. And those cracks were widening as she stood here in the silence. Tom seemed to be waiting for her to say something more.

‘What makes you think it could possibly work?’ she whispered. Okay, maybe the sexual tension had been there on both sides but he hadn’t even tried to kiss her, even though they’d been living in the same house. Jack’s house. ‘It didn’t before.’

‘We were good together.’

Abby’s breath huffed out in an incredulous snort. ‘Good? You told me I was holding you back. Clipping your wings. How does that suddenly become
good
?’

‘It’s different now.’

‘Because of Jack?’

‘No.’ Tom was still standing very close. His eyes were fixed on Abby’s. ‘I was wrong. I didn’t understand.’

‘Understand what?’

‘What happened to you when you were just a kid. When you lost your mum and dad.’

Abby huffed again. It was almost a sob. ‘And how exactly does that make a difference?’

‘If you understand
why
someone feels the way they do, you can work around it. Find a way through.’

When had she wrapped her arms around herself like this? She hadn’t even noticed but now she was holding herself tightly, as if she needed comfort.

What was going on here? Why was she feeling so devastated? This was what she wanted, wasn’t it? For her and Tom to be together again? So why was she arguing? Trying to push him away?

Because nothing had really changed. If they were together, she would still have to live with that fear of losing him, even if Tom thought he could ‘work around it’.

But...she understood, too, now, didn’t she? What drove him? She’d felt it herself, when they’d rescued Jack. She’d told him she understood.

No wonder he was looking bewildered. As confused as she was feeling. She screwed her eyes shut tightly, trying to sort out the whirl of conflicting thoughts.

She could feel Tom moving closer.

She felt his breath on her skin. The touch of the pad of his thumb on her lips that made them part instantly in a response that had become hard wired years ago and simply couldn’t be overridden. The soft touch continued to trace her bottom lip and Abby couldn’t fight the wave of sensation that rocked her all the way to her toes.

She felt her head tipping back. This track was well worn into her cell memory, too. In a heartbeat it would be Tom’s lips instead of his thumb touching hers and...
yes
...he would slide his fingers into her hair like that—the press of his fingertips as arousing as the magic he could make with his lips and tongue.

The desire Abby had been fighting ever since she’d first laid eyes on Tom again became incandescent. The heat was obviously contagious because Tom stripped off his T-shirt moments later and then helped Abby shed hers. The garments puddled on the floor beside them and then there was a moment’s absolute stillness as they stood there, simply looking at each other.

Abby drank in the sight of him. He was the most beautiful man she had ever seen. All that glorious, olive skin covering sheer masculine power. The irresistibly vulnerable copper discs of his nipples and the invitation of that soft arrow of dark hair that dragged her gaze down to where the denim of his jeans cut low across the ridges of a totally ripped abdomen.

Her fingers itched to release the button on those jeans. To hear the delicious slide of the zip opening. She knew what she would find and...dear Lord...she’d never wanted anything this much.

But Abby dragged her gaze up because she could feel the touch of Tom’s gaze warming the soft swell of her breasts as they pushed against the lacy cups of her bra. She could sense that his fingers were itching, too. To reach behind her and unfasten the clasp of that small undergarment.

But as she looked up, so did Tom. No wonder it’s called ‘eye contact’, Abby realised. The touch wasn’t physical and yet this was the most powerful grip in which she had ever felt herself held.

The touch of souls rather than bodies.

Abby felt as though some force was lifting her. As though her feet were no longer touching the floor, and she recognised this feeling as easily as her skin cells remembered Tom’s touch.

This was love.

For both of them.

Could
they make it work?
Really
work this time?

Impossible to think into the future right now. Abby’s ability to leap ahead and think of everything that could possibly make something
not
work failed her completely this time. She couldn’t think a week ahead. Or even a day.

Ten seconds was about all she could manage. No, less than that. Just as long as it took her to stand on tiptoe and lean forward so that she would feel the press of Tom’s bare skin against her breasts. To wind her arms around his neck and pull him in for the kiss that would take them straight to her bed.

The future could wait.

Thinking could wait.

All Abby wanted to do was to sink into this astonishing explosion of sensation. Pure bliss.

All she wanted was Tom.

CHAPTER NINE

B
LISS
 
HUNG
 
AROUND
.

Somewhere very close to the surface of your skin, Abby decided. The memory might not be as intense as the real thing but it was still magic. It sparked little curls of something delicious deep in her belly, and made her feel as if her bones had softened. And she knew it made her smile because Jack noticed sometimes.

‘Why are you smiling, Mummy?’ he’d ask.

‘Because I’m happy,’ she would tell him. ‘Because I love you so much.’

And that would send little Jack on his way. Before his busy day could be interrupted by one of those annoying squeezy hugs.

It didn’t take much to scratch the surface and release a little bit of that bliss, either. Just the sound of her phone indicating a text message could do it these days because it was usually Tom. He’d be asking about what Jack had been up to that day or how work was going for Abby and he’d sign himself ‘T’ with an ‘x’ for a kiss.

The sight of a particularly dark head of wavy hair or some other physical similarity that reminded her of Tom could lift that release catch, too. Of course, Jack reminded her of what Tom looked like on a daily basis and always had but that never triggered the bliss thing. No. That sparked a much softer sensation as she thought of a small boy worshipping his father as he grew up and the two of them getting closer and closer. Eventually being men together.

With a small sigh that acknowledged the complexity of what was happening in her life, Abby let something else trigger a release of that seemingly endless supply of bliss—the soft caress of a sea breeze on the bare skin of her arms, which made her think of a whisper of touch from Tom’s lips.

‘Are you happy, Mummy?’ Jack asked. ‘You’re smiling again.’

‘Mmm. I’m happy, hon.’

‘Because we’re going to Auckland?’

‘I guess. It’s a beautiful day for a ferry ride, isn’t it?’

‘I haven’t seen a whale yet.’

‘You might. We saw lots of dolphins, didn’t we?’

Jack cupped his hands around his eyes to pretend they were binoculars but he couldn’t keep his attention on the sea. ‘Are we going to live in Auckland, Mummy?’

‘No, hon. We’re just going to visit for a day or two.’

‘To see my
dad
.’ Jack bounced up and down in excitement.

‘Hold on to the rail,’ Abby ordered, but she was still smiling. Despite repeated warnings to herself not to get her hopes up too high, she had to admit she was feeling more than a little bit of that excitement herself.

Or was it trepidation? Would Tom ask her to marry him again? And if he did, would he expect an answer this time? What could she tell him? That one night of bliss wasn’t enough to turn her life upside down and hang her future on? Or, more importantly, Jack’s life and future?

Not that she and Tom were likely to get any significant alone time. Just as they hadn’t in the remainder of his visit after the night of Nathan’s birthday party. It had been two weeks now since his volunteer stint had ended and he’d gone back to the mainland. The idea of marriage hadn’t been raised again before he’d left, or since, in any text message or phone call. He was giving her space to think about what he’d said in the wake of their amazing night together, thanks to Jack’s sleepover.

His words had hung in the darkness of her bedroom, almost shining with their intensity.

‘I have to go back to Auckland soon, Abby. To my job. Like you said, there’s nothing here for me on Kaimotu, career-wise.’

And there was everything for Abby and Jack. A home. A job. An amazing community.

‘But I’m Jack’s father and it’s...it’s incredible.
He’s
incredible. I can’t tell you how it makes me feel because I can’t even describe it to myself but it’s...it’s huge, Abby.’

She had only been able to nod, her head brushing the side of Tom’s chest, right beside his heart. She’d felt like that when she’d first held Jack as a baby, seconds after his birth. The world had changed for ever in that moment and her tears had been born from both amazement and joy.

‘I want to be the best father I can be,’ Tom had told her, and Abby had only been able to nod again.

Those tears at Jack’s birth had held sadness, as well. That there had been no father for her baby boy by her side to share the miracle. Guilt that she had been keeping this all for herself.

‘I know it would be a big move for you and Jack to come to Auckland and it’s too much to ask for right away but...I need to see Jack. As often as I can.’

And Jack needed to see his father. Abby had known that. She’d accepted it without question.

‘Just come,’ Tom had whispered into her ear as he’d held her close. ‘Please. Even if it’s only for a day or two.’

When Abby had booked the ferry tickets within days of Tom’s departure, it had been his final words she’d kept hearing.

‘Come soon. I’m going to miss you.
Both
of you.’

* * *

Jack’s excitement only grew as the ferry moved through the Hauraki Gulf towards the sprawling city of Auckland.

‘Look, Mummy. There’s so many
boats
.’

‘They’re yachts, hon. See the sails? They call Auckland the “City of Sails” because so many people have yachts.’

‘Does my dad have a yacht?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘I’ll ask him,’ Jack said happily.

For the next few minutes they watched the pleasure crafts crowding the harbour waters and then the lovely harbour bridge as it drew steadily closer, but Abby wasn’t really taking much notice.

She didn’t know if Tom was into sailing. She didn’t know anything about what his life away from work was like now. He was probably addicted to adventure sports like abseiling or parachuting. How would a child fit in with any of that?

What if he
did
have a yacht? Auckland had one of those ‘four seasons in one day’ types of climate. Tom could sail off with Jack on a lovely sunny morning and then a storm could blow in and they could end up in big trouble in the open sea and Jack could fall overboard and...and
drown
...

Oh, for God’s sake. Abby gave herself a mental slap. Give him a chance, she told herself, without immediately envisaging a disaster.

Tom was meeting them off the ferry today. They would drop their bags at the motel where Abby and Jack were to stay the night and then they would have the rest of the day together.

Abby swallowed her concerns and smiled at Jack as he turned his imaginary binoculars onto her.

She would give Tom a chance. It was going to be interesting to see what he’d come up with for them to do today. More than interesting. Nerve-racking, because it was possible that three people’s futures could be influenced in a major way by what happened today.

* * *

‘Where are we going, Dad?’

‘To the motel. To drop off your bags.’

‘Why can’t we stay at your house?’

‘Because you need a bed of your own and my house is too small.’ Tom had to avoid a sidelong glance to where Abby was sitting in the front passenger seat of his car. Abby wouldn’t need a bed of her own. Damned frustrating to think of her sleeping in a motel tonight but he was treading slowly here. Carefully. Because of Jack.

She wouldn’t even be here today if it wasn’t about Jack spending some time with him, would she?

But it was
so
good to see her again.

He’d had his doubts. Of course he had.

There’d been a definite ‘Oh, my God what was I
thinking
’ moment when he’d stepped back into the familiar comfort of the house he shared with Moz and had realised that if he and Abby and Jack became a family, it would mean losing almost everything that was familiar and comfortable. That wave of...fear, almost, at the thought of such a different future had been thankfully receding a little more every day.

Even his long-held fear that having a family would somehow hold him back in his work was fading, too. He wasn’t being any more cautious in what he did. If anything, he might be pushing the boundaries a tad further just to prove a point. He certainly didn’t feel like his wings were being clipped in any way and yet there hadn’t been a single day—a single hour, in fact—that he hadn’t thought about Abby.

And Jack, of course. The relationships were very different but they were equally intense. Was one more important than the other?

Maybe the difference was that his relationship with Jack was simply there and all he had to do was make it as good as it could be. He was Jack’s father and always would be.

A relationship with Abby, however, would have to be earned. And it might be harder to do that the second time around, because he had to try to undo the damage that had been done. When he’d made her feel like she wasn’t as important as his career. That he didn’t want her in his life because she would hold him back from being the person he wanted to be.

Whatever. It was important that they both have a good day today and Tom had given the matter a great deal of thought ever since Abby had texted to let him know she was bringing Jack to visit.

‘Where are we going now?’ Jack asked, as Tom drove them away from the motel.

‘To the zoo.’

‘What’s a zoo?’

‘Jack!’ Abby sounded astonished. ‘You know what a zoo is. Don’t you?’

There was silence from the back seat.

‘Jack?’

‘I wanted Dad to tell me,’ said a small voice.

Tom caught Abby’s gaze and they shared a flash of something. Amusement tinged with apology on Abby’s part and amusement mixed with maybe pride on Tom’s part. It was something warm and adult that understood what was going on in a small boy’s head. Something very poignant about Jack having to confess his attempt to connect with his father.

Tom shifted his gaze to the rear-view mirror so he could see Jack. ‘Auckland zoo is special,’ he told his son. ‘It’s been there for nearly a hundred years and it has hundreds of different sorts of animals and birds.’

‘Has it got lions?’

‘Yep.’

‘And tigers?’

‘Yep.’

‘And monkeys?’

‘Loads of monkeys. And chimpanzees and orangutans and I’m not sure but there might be gorillas, too.’

‘What else?’

‘Have you ever seen a giant weta?’

‘Ew...’ Abby made a face. ‘We get those at home. I’m not so keen on big bugs.’

‘There’s meerkats. There are people tunnels and you can climb through them and pop up into these Perspex bubbles and there you are, in the middle of the meerkat enclosure.’

‘Oh, I’d love to do that.’ Abby grinned. ‘What do you think, Jack? Wouldn’t that be fun?’

‘Mmm. What else is there, Dad?’

‘Have you ever seen a hippopotamus?’

‘No-o-o...’ Jack’s eyes were round. ‘I’ve never seen a hit...a hittopopamus.’

‘Hippo-pot-amus,’ Tom said slowly.

‘Hitto-pop-amus,’ Jack said, even more slowly.

‘Close enough,’ Tom said. His gaze slid sideways and this time there was pure amusement in the shared glance with Abby. The odd nerves that had been plaguing him about whether the zoo was the best idea for a day together disappeared completely.

This was going to be great.

* * *

Abby knew she’d never be able to decide what her favourite moment of this day had been because they were all so different and they each had their own magic.

Just walking along the miles of pathways, being parents and each holding the hand of the small boy between them, had been special.

‘Swing,’ Jack had commanded. ‘Make me a
monkey
.’

And Tom and Abby would share a glance and mouth a silent count of three and then both lift Jack’s feet off the ground in a big, forward swoop that made him shriek with delighted laughter.

The meerkats made them all laugh and shared laughter was absolutely the best, Abby decided.

Then again, the private, telepathic kind of laughter that passed between Tom and Abby with Jack’s continued inability to pronounce ‘hippopotamus’ gave her heart an even more memorable squeeze.

And the bliss had been almost overwhelming when it had surfaced as she’d watched Tom eating an ice cream and catching a drip on the cone with his tongue. It had come supercharged with a hefty kick of desire, this time, thanks to the reality of his physical presence, and it had only got stronger as Abby had sensed the way he’d been watching
her
eat her ice cream.

Jack had been oblivious to the atmosphere above his head but Abby had barely noticed the alligators because she’d been concentrating so hard on trying to get her wayward thoughts under control.

In the end, however, there had really been only one moment that had stolen the limelight from them all, due to its significance.

They’d had afternoon tea at a café and had then wandered to a lovely grassy area near a band rotunda. Maybe they were all reluctant to head for an exit and finish their day at the zoo. The grass was long enough to be soft and tickly and there was a gentle slope under a tree that Jack spotted.

‘Wanna see me do a roll, Dad? All the way down the hill?’

‘Sure do.’

They both sat on the grass in the shade of the tree and watched Jack roll down the slope.

‘I remember doing exactly the same thing when I was about his age,’ Tom said with a note of wonder in his voice. ‘It was a hell of a lot of fun.’

‘Nothing to stop you doing it again,’ Abby said with a grin.

Tom grinned right back. And then he simply turned sideways, lay down and started to roll, gathering speed fast.

‘Look out, Jack, Dad’s coming after you.’ Abby had trouble shouting because she was laughing so hard.

But then Tom reached the bottom of the slope and rolled right into Jack and caught him in his arms, and her laughter died as she watched the rough and tumble between a father and his son as if it was an instinctual thing.

It was such a pure moment. A joyous moment.

Okay, there had to be a potential for Jack to get injured, but Abby wasn’t thinking about any future catastrophe. She was absolutely in the moment and it felt utterly safe. Even if something
did
go wrong, Tom was here and he would look after them.