Miracle on Regent Street (42 page)

‘It’s tricky, Evie. It sounds like you really like this guy and he is clearly totally enamoured of you.’ He pauses. ‘And who could blame him?’ I feel myself
blushing as Sam continues, ‘The truth is I’m no expert on relationships – in fact I’m probably the last person you should ask; I’m a bloke, after all – but if I
had to give it a shot all I’d say is that I know without question that to truly fit with another person you have to tell them everything about yourself, no matter how hard that may be. We
each have a past but in order to have a future with someone you have to be able to reveal every single layer of yourself.’

I suddenly notice that Sam is no longer looking at me or even directing his words to me any more. Instead, he looks down and mutters, ‘It’s the only way,’ then drains his glass
and stands up. ‘Are you ready for another one?’ he asks, but heads to the bar without waiting for me to answer, leaving me to ponder his words.

‘You know, Sam,’ I say when he places another glass of mulled wine in front of me, ‘you’re right. I always thought that in order for someone to want to be with me,
I’d have to show them a different version of myself. Take my ex, Jamie. Even though I thought I was being myself, I put my life on hold for him just so he could follow his dream. I wanted to
be close to him but I lost sight of my own ambition and where my life was going, and became his shadow. No wonder he ended up with no respect for me. What an idiot I was.’ I shake my head as
I take a long sip of the warming wine.

‘I can understand why you did that,’ Sam says quietly. ‘Sometimes even the most mundane job is more pleasurable if there’s someone there you like.’

‘So what’s your history?’ I ask, interested suddenly in Sam’s life before I met him. ‘Have you left a trail of broken hearts in your wake? Are you a womanizer, a
commitment-phobe, a new man or a serial monogamist?’

‘Are they my only options?’ Sam laughs. ‘Not all blokes fit into such stereotypes, you know.’

‘Really?’ I reply drily, thoroughly unconvinced.

‘OK, fair enough, most do, but some of us have a more, let’s say, chequered history.’

‘Really?’
I repeat, leaning forward over the table, suddenly intrigued.

‘Oh God,’ Sam almost chokes on his drink as he clocks my expression, ‘now you think I’m some sort of Lothario! I can see it in your face!’

I laugh and shake my head. ‘No, I don’t, I just think there’s something more to you than meets the eye. I can’t quite put my finger on it,’ I say, narrowing my eyes
as if trying to study him more closely than I ever have. ‘You seem experienced . . .’ Sam raises his eyebrow and I suddenly realize how that sounds. ‘N-no,’ I stammer,
‘I don’t mean like
that
, or um, then again you know, maybe you are, I don’t know. What I mean is, how could I know that?’ I take a deep breath, suddenly struggling to
articulate myself. ‘Anyway, that isn’t my point. What I
mean
is, you seem experienced in love, like you’ve had something wonderful, but it also seems like you’ve also
been badly hurt.’

Sam tilts his head to one side. ‘Carry on, Mystic Meg, you’re doing pretty well,’ he says wryly.

‘Well . . .’ I pause as I try and sum up what I’ve seen in him . . . ‘it’s kind of like you’ve known the best that love has to offer, something really simple
and pure, but that it has also been cruelly snatched away from you when you least expected it. Yep, that’s it, I think,’ I finish jubilantly.

Then I look at Sam’s face. He seems overcome with fatigue and sadness, like all the life and laughter have been drained from him, and I realize that, without meaning to, I have touched a
terribly raw nerve.

‘Oh, Sam, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—’

‘No, it’s fine, Evie, honestly,’ he says, his voice thick with emotion. ‘I guess you just hit me where it hurts. The truth is I do love someone deeply – I have for
years now – but because of situations beyond my control I can’t be with that . . . person as much as I’d like, and it kills me. And then on top of that I feel the same as you:
that because of this person, I can’t really be myself with the other people – person – I care about.’ He sighs as he struggles to explain his situation. ‘I don’t
know . . . it’s kind of complicated.’

‘I’m sorry, Sam,’ I say, stretching my hand across the table and placing it over his. He clasps it as if he is drawing strength from my grasp. ‘What a pair we are,
huh?’

He looks at me, his soft brown eyes melting my heart a little as I suddenly see how much he’s been hurt. I want more than anything to help to mend him, to make him feel like he has a
chance at love, but as the air between us grows thick with intent, I suddenly panic as I see his lips reaching across the table for mine. I can’t do this. There’s Joel. And Ella. I pull
back suddenly and he slumps down in his seat.

‘Let’s not make our lives any more complicated than they already are, eh?’ I rasp, a sudden searing pain in my throat constricting my words.

Sam nods, answering without looking at me. ‘I’m sorry, Evie. I don’t know what came over me. It’s just the wine and the fire and the . . .’ He waves his arm round
the pub, which is glowing with life, love and festivity, the Christmas tree in the corner sparkling merrily, snow now falling softly outside the window. ‘It won’t happen again,’
he mumbles.

‘I know,’ I say as we push out our stools and silently put on our coats before heading out into the bleak midwinter.

We hug awkwardly and then turn and go our separate ways.

I pause for a moment on the now-empty street and glance back at Sam, who is trudging up the foggy, snow-capped hill, softly illuminated by the frail yellow glow of the Victorian streetlamps, and
I feel a pang of regret as I wonder just what would have happened if I’d let him kiss me. I cross the street and head for Chalcot Square, secure – but not necessarily happy – in
the knowledge that now, I’ll never know.

Monday 12 December

13 Shopping Days Until Christmas

D
espite it being Monday, and even though I’m feeling particularly weary after my emotional day yesterday, I’m still at the staff
entrance at 6.30 a.m. Well, there’s no time to waste. I don’t even have time to chat to Felix today again, but I’m a bit thrown when I arrive and discover he’s not in his
office. For the two years I’ve worked here he’s always been at his desk when I’ve walked in. Maybe he’s not very well. I miss his cheerful face and I suddenly realize that
without his seeing me it could be hours before anyone even knows I’m here.

I wander out into the still-dark store and sigh as I try to summon up the energy to makeover another whole department on my own in the space of two hours.

Just then, the lights click on and, as if by magic, Felix, Lily, Sam, Jan Baptysta, Justyna and Velna appear. I gasp and laugh as Lily steps forward and waves gaily at me. She is wearing black
cropped trousers with flat pumps, a black top and a scarf wrapped around her head, like Norma Desmond. She most certainly looks ready for her close-up.

‘Morning, Evie!’ she trills. ‘We hope you don’t mind, but after our session on Thursday night we decided you could do with a hand – well, a few hands actually
– for the next makeover. We figured you’d start today. So, just tell us what you want us to do; we’re all here ready to help!’

‘Really?’ I exclaim, feeling choked as I look around at everyone, but avoiding Sam’s gaze. I turn to the cleaners. ‘Are you sure you guys can spare the time? I know
you’re short-staffed as it is. I didn’t expect you all to start today.’

Jan smiles benevolently. ‘Aaaah but Eve-English-Wi . . .’ he glances at Justyna and trails off with a cough. ‘We
want
to start today. We gotsk here extra early so we
could help with the department makesover. Sam and Lily helped us. They are very good at cleaning,
nie
?’

I gape at Lily. ‘You’ve been cleaning?’

‘Oh, yes, dear,’ she says, patting her headscarf. ‘I am a woman of many talents. Now, let’s stop dawdling and let the makeover magic begin! So which department are we
working on today?’

I am speechless with gratitude. I don’t know how to thank them so I just smile broadly at them all.

‘Come on,’ Lily nags. ‘We don’t have all day.’ She’s right.

‘Handbags,’ I say decisively. ‘I overheard Becky saying that Rupert has been disappointed with her department’s performance. I’ve got a couple of ideas but feel
free to add any of your own as we go. Now, Lily,’ I turn to her, ‘do you think you could oversee everyone’s work?’

She nods and throws a deep, graceful curtsy in my direction.

‘Oh, and, Felix . . .’ He grins widely and unfolds his arms. ‘. . . I know you can’t really leave your security office, and besides, you need to warn us in case any staff
happen to come in early, but perhaps you could review our efforts and ring me if you have any suggestions? I know you used to be a dab hand yourself at merchandising.’

Felix swings back on his heels and nods. ‘Well, Walter Hardy, junior did tell me I had a gift,’ he says proudly, and he heads off in the direction of the staff entrance.

‘Sam and Jan Baptysta,’ I turn to them and they simultaneously salute me and then look at each other and burst out laughing, ‘you need to be in charge of the carpentry work.
Jan, did you bring your tools in, like I asked you to at the pub?’ He nods vigorously. ‘It’s just I’ve had this idea of fixing these big frames against the walls and then
hanging the vintage handbags inside to make them look like art. But you’re going to have to build the structures first.’ Sam looks panicked but Jan just nods. ‘Do you reckon
that’s something you could do?’

‘Of coursk!’ Jan replies, throwing his arm round Sam’s shoulder and squeezing him so that Sam squeaks a little. ‘We make a good team, no? And I am Polish! We are very
good with our handsk!’

Sam extricates himself from Jan’s grip and rubs his shoulder, grimacing a little. ‘And, Evie,’ he says, touching me lightly on the arm. I pull it away, driven by a subconscious
reflex. Sam blushes. ‘I, er, I had an idea, too. I, well, I just thought I could maybe take some reportage photos of the makeover in progress? You know, but without revealing who anyone is.
Then I could take them to the local newspapers. It might create the buzz we need to get some more customers into the store. What do you think?’

‘That’s GENIUS!’ I exclaim, and resist the urge to hug him. A few days ago I wouldn’t have felt weird about it, but now? There’s this strange awkwardness between
us. Like what happened yesterday has tainted our friendship. I clear my throat and try to speak as businesslike as possible. ‘Can you do it without making it obvious who we are, though? I
don’t want any of the staff – or, more importantly, Rupert – to get suspicious. He needs to believe all of his staff are invaluable to him and he absolutely can’t know who
has really been doing the makeovers.’

Sam nods and pushes his hands into his jeans pockets. ‘I can shoot you guys in shadow so you just look like silhouettes. All I have to do is use some clever backlighting. Leave it with
me.’

I nod and throw a small smile of thanks in his direction before quickly moving on.

‘Velna and Justyna, do you guys want to come with me to the stockroom to get the extra merchandise we need? I need some help carrying the stuff.’

‘Oh, Evie? I’ve thought of something that could help you with that,’ Sam pipes up again. ‘I’ve left two of my trolleys from the van outside the delivery entrance.
You can load all the stuff you need on those, which will save you going back and forth.’

‘Great! Thanks, Sam,’ I say, feeling a flood of excitement as I look at all the bright, eager faces surrounding me. ‘Right then, guys, let’s get to work!’

Everyone scatters to their various positions. Lily starts dismantling the current department’s display whilst Jan and Sam head to the stockroom with us, wrapping up in their coats and
scarves as they’re going to build the structures outside the delivery entrance. Jan appears to have brought an entire building kit, including a jigsaw and all sorts of other DIY
paraphernalia.

By the time the girls and I get back to the shop floor with the stock, Lily has cleared the department and is mopping her brow.