Miriam and the Stranger (35 page)

Miriam’s gaze lingered on the open prairie, and a sigh escaped her lips. More than a week had passed since Mose left on the bus for his return trip to Wayne County. She had written him last Friday evening and mailed the letter on Saturday, even though Mose hadn’t written yet. There would be no repeat of her mistakes from before. She would do her part to make her engagement with Mose
work. Her marriage to Mose would be the end of the road for her. All choice would end once the vows were said, but joy would surely come afterward. It would have to. Didn’t love grow in the hearts of all married couples who lived in the fear of the Lord?

Maybe Mose would change once they were wed. Mose would take her in his arms, and her heart would be comforted—if she could make it through the months ahead. That was the trial, and obviously Mose knew this and planned to test her to the fullest. This was Mose’s right, Miriam reminded herself. She had revealed her flaws to him when she kissed Tyler Johnson. Thankfully, Mose still planned to marry her. For that she ought to get down on her knees each night and give thanks to the Lord.

Miriam glanced up toward the heavens and whispered, “Thank You,” but her heart felt like lead. Well, there was nothing she could do about that except wait until the vows were said and love for Mose came into her heart.

Star jerked his head skyward as they approached the Byler driveway. He whinnied as if he wished to add his own prayer. A slight smile crossed Miriam’s face but vanished at once. She pulled the buggy to a stop beside the new barn and climbed down. Her heavy heart would lift by the time school began after the New Year, Miriam promised herself. She couldn’t appear in front of her students with this sadness on her face. She hoped they hadn’t noticed the depth of her sorrow so far. She had tried to show a happy face each day, but ever since the
bann
she had struggled to maintain a cheerful attitude in school.

A startled look crossed Miriam’s face when the front door opened and Aunt Fannie hurried out to meet her.

“What is it?” Miriam called out. Had she been wrapped up in her own troubles while something terrible had happened at home again?

“This just came.” Aunt Fannie caught her breath to wave an envelope. “A letter from Mose. I thought you needed to see it at once.”

“Is there news?” Miriam clutched Star’s bridle with both hands.

“Silly,” Aunt Fannie said. “I wouldn’t read your mail, but it’s the first one from your promised one to arrive after he’s been here. I thought it might cheer you up.”

Nothing will cheer me up
, Miriam almost said. Instead, she forced a smile. “I suppose I should read it right now—after I put Star in the barn.”

Aunt Fannie helped Miriam unhitch the buggy and followed her to Star’s stall where she said, “I know you remember the time several years ago when William found out that I kissed my
Englisha
boyfriend after I began dating him. I feel bad when I remember how supportive you were back then and how little comfort I’ve been to you as you went through a much worse situation.” Aunt Fannie hung her head.

“You mustn’t blame yourself,” Miriam protested. “No two situations are alike.”

“Still, I feel so helpless,” Aunt Fannie continued, taking Miriam’s hand. “You seem to always make the right choices, even when they’re hard. I trembled when I was faced with a little church confession, and here you went through the
bann
.”

Miriam forced a laugh. “Only for a week, and Mose made it easy.”

“You know that’s not true. The
bann
is never easy.” Aunt Fannie gave Miriam a tight hug again. “Come, let’s eat a quiet supper, and tomorrow we have nothing to do but celebrate the Lord’s birthday.”

“Are we staying home?”

“Is there somewhere you’d like to go?” Aunt Fannie gave Miriam a kind look. “Because I can arrange something.”

“Nay, I’d much rather stay home.” Miriam tried to appear cheerful.

Aunt Fannie didn’t appear convinced. “Maybe William’s family has something going we can attend.”

Miriam shook her head. “No, thanks. I’m fine staying home.”

“Well, okay,” Aunt Fannie gave in. “I guess most of the community is taking a quiet day off since school didn’t let out until Christmas Eve.”

Miriam hung her head. “That’s my fault. My sins seem to follow me everywhere I go.”

“Oh, you poor dear!” Aunt Fannie exclaimed as she took Miriam’s hand and rubbed it in affection.

“My letter.” Miriam held up the envelope. “I should go read it. And then I’ll be right down to help with supper.”

“You take your time.” Aunt Fannie held the front door open for them as Jonathon raced out of the kitchen to leap into Miriam’s arms.

Miriam held him tight and kissed the top of his head.

“There’s ice cream tonight!” Jonathon yelped when Miriam let him go.

Miriam turned to her aunt. “You made ice cream?”

“A little something special to cheer you up,” Aunt Fannie said, wiping away a tear.

Jonathon looked like he didn’t know what the tears were about, and so with a shout of joy he ran off to play outside.

“I’ll read Mose’s letter and be right down,” Miriam declared.

Miriam hurried upstairs. She opened the envelope and took out the single page. But she shouldn’t be disappointed at its shortness, Miriam told herself. Even short letters could supply some measure of comfort.

Miriam read quickly…

Dear Miriam,

Greetings in the name of the Lord. I had a blessed trip back to Wayne County this past week, though bus travel always makes for weariness of body and soul. The Lord’s grace was with me. I arrived home to find the farm work suffering, but I hope to catch up after Christmas. My mother has Christmas breakfast planned at her place, and I can’t miss that. One shouldn’t work on the Lord’s birthday anyway, even if the date is a little questionable, coming from the
Englisha
as it does.

My sisters brought in plenty of food for over the holidays, but that can’t go on forever. I couldn’t impose to such an extent even if they had the time. I think you met them when you visited here, but I know everything was a little strange that Sunday. That will change once we are wed and you have moved into the house here in Wayne County.

All three of my sisters have large families of their own. One has three
kinner
, and the other two have five each. My six brothers are likewise blessed with
kinner
. The oldest brother, Michael, has eight. I pray that the Lord will likewise grant grace to us. This matter has been heavy on my mind since I have been back from Oklahoma. The shame of the past will lie far behind us if the Lord will make our marriage fruitful. I pray the Lord will see fit to grant this desire of my heart. In my new calling as bishop, I long for a ministry that is successful both in the church and at home. I know this cannot
happen unless
kinner
are granted to us. I trust that you will join me in prayer on this matter.

I will preach the Sunday after Christmas for the second time since my bishop ordination. And my first communion service will be in the spring. There will be plenty to keep my mind and soul occupied. And of course there is the farm work, which will be heavy this spring.

I pray that you are well and continue to walk in the Lord’s will.

Sincerely,

Mose Stoll

Miriam bit her lip as the tears stung. Not one kind word. Had that been too much to expect after all that she had done for Mose while he visited? Couldn’t he at least have expressed his love for her? Aunt Fannie’s kindness had soothed her spirit, but she wanted the love of the man she planned to marry. Surely that wasn’t too high an expectation?

A twinge of bitterness stirred, and Miriam suppressed the emotion at once. She must not go there! Ever! That road led nowhere. Obedience to
Daett
and now to Mose was the life she knew. That road might be rough, but she should be honored to become the wife of a bishop. And her
kinner
would be blessed to have such a
daett
.

Miriam folded the page quickly. She would not think of
kinner
right now, or of Mose. Aunt Fannie had ice cream downstairs, and the family would eat, and laugh, and enjoy each other’s company tonight. Tomorrow she would rest. With her body renewed, perhaps she would feel better about all of this.

Miriam took a deep breath and hurried downstairs.

“You do look more cheerful,” Aunt Fannie pronounced as she walked in the kitchen.

Miriam didn’t say anything. Aunt Fannie didn’t need to know how little the letter had comforted her.

“Shall I bring the ice cream up?” Miriam asked, heading toward the basement door before Aunt Fannie could answer. Jonathon, who had already come back inside for supper, was in the basement, parked in front of the hand-cranked freezer. Little dribbles of ice water ran down the side of the wood and past his toes.

“It’s delicious,” Jonathon said happily.

“Did you eat some?” Miriam scolded.

The guilt on Jonathon’s face was answer enough. “Only a fingertip, that’s all.”

“You shouldn’t,” Miriam explained. “If the container is still inside the salty ice water and you lift the lid off, salt can get into the ice cream.”

“It didn’t,” Jonathon assured her. “But please don’t tell
Mamm
.”

“The salt will tell the story.” Miriam gave him a stern look. “Remember that. Sins are always found out.”

He nodded soberly. Miriam considered that was a lesson she learned herself the hard way. The salt had definitely betrayed her.

“Can I help?” Jonathon held out both hands when Miriam lifted the stainless steel container from the ice water.

“Grab the bottom,” she ordered. “And hold on until I get a better grip.”

He clung to the container as if his life depended on the effort. Miriam looked at his innocent face and tears formed as she wondered,
Will I one day have wonderful
kinner
like Jonathon?
She couldn’t imagine it when she remembered Mose’s stern face. Would he allow joy and happiness in their home and ice cream on
Christmas Eve, or would life be all work, and duty, and seeking the church’s blessing?

“Does the salt make you cry?” Jonathon appeared puzzled. He adjusted his grip, and Miriam did likewise.

“Let me take it now,” Miriam said lightheartedly.

Jonathon seemed to forget his question as he followed Miriam upstairs. His eyes glowed as she set the container in the kitchen sink and dipped the ice cream out with a spoon. His finger crept forward again, and Miriam touched his leg with her foot. Jonathon jumped, and a look of guilt rushed over his face.

But he still protested. “I can’t get any salt in it now.”

“Depend on a child to figure out a way around everything,” Aunt Fannie said.

“It’s still better not to,” Miriam told Jonathon.

Jonathon took his place at the table and stared expectantly at the ice cream heaped high in its new home.

Footsteps were heard coming through the washroom door, followed by Uncle William’s cheerful face. He hollered, “What have we here? Ice cream!” He seemed even happier than Jonathon. Warm circles rushed around Miriam’s heart. At least tonight some joy had crept back into her life.

“Now, go wash up and come for supper,” Aunt Fannie ordered.

Uncle William’s face darkened for a moment as he turned to Miriam. “Thought you ought to know that Tyler fellow is back in the community. He stopped in at Deacon Phillips’s today. He’s come back to say how sorry he is for how things have gone with the fires and the police and all.”

“Oh, William! Did you have to say that!” Aunt Fannie snapped. “We’re having a quiet evening at home. Miriam doesn’t need more stress in her life.”

“Sorry,” Uncle William muttered. “But Miriam doesn’t have to worry. We all understand the danger now.”

Miriam dropped the ice cream spoon and fled into the living room to compose herself. What would her aunt and uncle say if they knew the unwanted thrill that had shot through her at the mention of Tyler’s name? The thrill quickly turned to shame, though, and Miriam knew she must try to somehow save this evening and not drag the rest of the family down with her. They deserved to enjoy their ice cream with joy in their hearts. She would fake joy; there was no other option. And later she would cry out to the Lord once she was alone upstairs. She would have to beg once more that somehow the Lord would change her heart. She could not go down this path with Tyler again.

With a set face Miriam reentered the kitchen. Thankfully, Aunt Fannie didn’t say anything, but joined in with her effort at laughter and light conversation as the meal began.

Chapter Thirty-Five