Mirror Image (14 page)

Toby and Victoria had found a delicious little room in a little pavilion
at the very back of the garden, and it was there that he had kissed her
for the first time, and that they had spent all their time, in each
other's arms, whenever they weren't dancing.

"I'm so sorry, my dear, " her father apologized to Olivia for her
headache all the way home. "It's been too much for you, after the party
last night and the ball tonight, I don't know what I was thinking of
when I accepted it. I thought it might be fun for you girls, but you
must be exhausted." Victoria looked anything but, and she looked daggers
at Olivia as soon as their father glanced out the window. She knew her
sister far better than that, and found * hard to believe she had a
headache. She had no idea how much she'd upset her.

"That was very clever of you, " she said icily when they got upstairs to
their bedroom.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I do have a headache, " Olivia
insisted, as she took the hated dress off. She wanted to burn it.

And after the way Victoria had behaved, she did indeed feel like a
harlot.

"You know exactly what I mean. But your little ruse won't change
anything. You have no idea what you're doing." She knew for a fact that
Toby was totally sincere. He had fallen madly in love with her, and it
did not shock her in the least that he wanted to divorce his wife.

She didn't even care if he did. She was totally modern in her ideas.

She didn't have to marry him. They could be lovers forever. He had even
talked to her about leaving the country eventually, and living in
Europe. Toby Whitticomb was everything she'd ever wanted. Daring, brave,
bold, honest, willing to pay any price for what he believed. She saw him
as a knight in shining armor, ready to rescue her from her mundane
little life in their incredibly boring home on the Hudson. He had
already lived in Pads and London and Argentina. It was all music to her
ears, and every time she thought of him, her entire body trembled.

"His wife attacked me in the powder room tonight, " Olivia said as she
put on her dressing gown. "She thought I was you."

"How convenient.

Did you tell her how sorry you were and that it was all a terrible
mistake? "

"More or less." Victoria laughed when she heard it. But Olivia went on
solemnly.

"She told me that Toby makes a habit of this, just as everyone says, and
when it's all over, he drops the girls he flirts with like broken dolls.

I don't want you to be one of them, " Olivia said hoarsely.

This was the first thing that had caused a serious rift with them, and
it was making Olivia feel sick as it continued. And she couldn't see how
anything would change until Victoria came out from under his spell.

It made Olivia wish, more than anything, that they were back in
Croton-on-Hudson. "Victoria, please, be sensible .. . don't get close to
him .. . he's dangerous. I want you to promise me you won't try to see
him."

"I promise, " Victoria said without sincerity or expression.

"I mean it." Olivia had tears in her eyes when she spoke. She hated him
even more now for making them argue. Nothing and no one had a right to
come between them. As far as Olivia was concerned, their bond was
sacred.

"You're jealous, " Victoria said coolly.

"I'm not, " Olivia said, desperate to convince her.

"You are. He's in love with me, and that frightens you. You're afraid
he'll take me away from you, " Victoria said with some truth in it, but
not exactly the way she meant it.

"He's doing that already. But don't you see the risk you'd be taking if
you let yourself fall in love with this man? I cannot say it often
enough, Victoria, he's dangerous. You have to see that."

"I'll be careful. I swear, " she said, softening a little. She hated
fighting with Olivia, she loved her too much, and it scared her.

But suddenly she knew she loved Toby too. She was falling head over
heels in love with him, and it was too late to stop it. When he had
kissed her that night, she thought her entire body would melt, and when
he had reached into the bothee of her dress and touched her breast, she
would have done anything he wanted. No one had ever done that to her
before.

No one had ever made her want them more than life itself, and how could
she explain that to her sister?

"Promise me you won't see him, " Olivia begged, now that she had her
sister's ear. "Please."

"Don't ask me that. I promise I won't do anything foolish."

"Seeing him is foolish. Even his wife knows it."

"She's angry because he's divorcing her. Wouldn't you be? "

"Think of the scandal that will make. Especially for an Astor.

Why don't you at least wait for that to happen, and for the noise to die
down, and then he can come to see you openly, and you can explain it to
Father." Now she could do nothing except see him on the sly, and get
caught in the cross fire between him and his wife and a world which
already condemned him for his past follies.

"Ollie, it will take forever."

"And when we go home again? Then what? Will he come to see you there?

What will people say, Victoria? .. . and Father? .. ."

"I don't know. He says we can conquer anything if I love him.

And I do, oh Ollie, I do love him." She closed her eyes and her heart
nearly flew out of her chest as she thought of him, and then opened her
eyes again and looked at her sister. "How can I tell you what it's like?
I would the for him if he asked me." At least Victoria was being honest
with her, but it didn't make Olivia feel any better.

"That's what I'm afraid of, " Olivia said sadly. "I don't want anyone
ever to hurt you."

"He won't. I swear. You must come to tea with us one day. I want you to
know him. I want you to love him too .. .

Ollie, please ..

. I can't do this without you." But that was too much for her.

Silence was already too much to ask of her, but asking her complicity as
well would be far too painful.

"Victoria, I can't help you this time, " Olivia said quietly. "I think
that what you're doing is dangerous and wrong, and I'm afraid you'll get
hurt. Perhaps I can't stop you, but I won't help you do it. Not this
time."

"Then swear you won't say anything .. . swear to me, " Victoria begged
her on her knees, her eyes filled with tears, as Olivia began to cry
too, and took her in her arms and held her.

"How can you ask me to do this? How can I let him hurt you? "

"He won't .. . believe me, he won't .. . trust me ..."

"You're not the one I distrust here, " Olivia sighed, taking a deep
breath and wiping away her tears finally. "I won't say anything for now
.. . but if he hurts you, I don't know what I'd do to him..

.."

"He won't. I know him better than anyone in this life, except you." She
looked like a child as she rolled onto their bed, and lay there
spread-eagled, grinning.

"In two days, Victoria Henderson? I doubt that. You're a dreamer.

For someone so full of radical ideas, you certainly are a romantic fool.

How can you trust the man so quickly? "

"Because I know who he is. I understand him completely. We are two
completely independent people, with exactly the same ideas, who were
lucky enough to find each other.

It's a miracle, Olhe. Truly, it is. He says he's waited for me all his
life, and now that I'm here he can't believe it."

"What about his wife and children? How do they fit into all this?

" Olivia looked skeptical, and Victoria looked momentarily confused, not
sure what to answer.

"He says she forced the children on him, he never would have had
children in a loveless marriage. It's really all her fault, and her
problem now what she does with them."

"That's a nice sensible attitude, " Olivia said, and the sarcasm seemed
to go over Victoria's head as she continued to rhapsodhze about Toby.

They turned off the light a little while later, and Olivia lay with her
arms around her twin. "Be careful, little sister .. . be wise ..

. be wary .. ." she whispered, but Victoria was already half asleep as
she nodded sleepily, and curled closer to her sister.

Victoria's mind was whirling as she thought of him. They had made a date
for the following day. They were meeting at the library at ten o'clock
the next morning.

Chapter 5.

Olivia was going over their lunch and dinner menus the next morning with
the cook when Victoria slipped away. She had told Bertie she was going
to the library, and meeting one of the Rockefeller girls, and she would
be home late that afternoon. Bertie had had Donovan drop her off at the
library, and nobody seemed to notice that she was we'ring the new white
suit with the matching hat, copied from Doeuillet, that Olivia hadn't
even worn yet. She looked very fashionable as she walked up the library
steps, holding her books to return, as Donovan drove away and went back
to the house to dave Mr. Henderson to John Watson's office.

Victoria returned the books as soon as she arrived, and as she glanced
past the librarian, she saw him standing, watching her, just behind the
polite spinster with glasses who had helped her. Victoria stood beaming
at him as their eyes met, and a moment later they walked away, arm in
arm. It was still early, and no one they knew ever went to the library
at that hour, if ever. She had absolutely no idea what they were going
to do, but she didn't really care, as long as they were together.

Toby had left his car outside, a Stutz that he had bought just that
year, and he laughed when Victoria told him she would love to drive it.

"Don't tell me you know how to drive too, " he said, sounding delighted
and amazed. "You really are the modern girl you say you are. Most people
pretend they are, but really aren't." He offered her a Milo cigarette as
though to prove the point, and she took it, although it really was a
little early, even for her. For a little while, they drove around the
East Side in lazy circles, and then finally, he pulled the car over and
looked at her, as though drinking in every detail of her face, her eyes,
her soul. It was as though he wanted to engrave her on his heart
forever. "I adore you, Victoria, " he- whispered into her hair. "I've
never known anyone like you." His words were like an aphrodisiac to her,
and when he kissed her, she felt her soul melt into his. There was
nothing she wouldn't have done for him at that moment, and he was
breathless as he kissed her. He sat back against the seat of the Stutz
after a long moment, and looked at Victoria in total amazement.

"You drive me mad, you know. You make me want to kidnap you to Canada or
Mexico, or run away to Argentina, or the Azores .. . you're a woman who
deserves to be in exotic places. I'd love to be on a hot beach with you
somewhere, listening to music, and kissing you, " he said as he leaned
over to kiss her again, and this time she could hardly breathe as he
held her. It was she who pulled away this time, unable to think straight
as she looked into his dark eyes, and wished that they could run away
forever. It was unbearable to think of ever leaving him again, of being
apart even for a moment.

But as he looked at her longingly, he suddenly smiled, as though he'd
thought of something. "I have an idea, " he said, starting the car
again, and heading north at the next corner. "I know exactly where we'll
go today. I haven't been there in ages."

"And where's that? " she asked, looking very relaxed as he handed her a
small flask, and she took a tiny sip, not to be outdone by him.

It was brandy, and it burned her throat as it went down, but the warmth
it gave off afterwards was very pleasant.

"Where we're going is a secret, " he said mysteriously, looking over at
her adoringly. It was as though they had always been meant to be
together, and they both knew it. She questioned him about where they
were going as they drove uptown, but he refused to answer her questions,
and pretended he was kidnapping her, but she didn't look worried for
even a single moment. He stopped to kiss her again several times, and
they shared the flask yet another time, but the third time he handed it
to her, she declined it.

.

"Do you always drink brandy before lunch? " she asked casually. It didn't
really bother her, she knew a lot of her father's friends drank fairly
heavily, and even John Watson carded a flask in winter. But it wasn't
cold today, it just seemed to add to the heady quality of their
excitement.

"I was so nervous this morning, " he confessed, "I thought I might need
it. My knees were shaking when I came to meet you." He looked boyish as
he glanced over at her, and seeing him look so vulnerable and so much in
love with her made Victoria feel very worldly. He was thirty-two years
old and she knew she had absolutely bowled him over.

It was very flattering, and everything about him was exciting, even the
fact that being with him was forbidden to her, and he supposedly had a
terrible reputation. Suddenly even that was exciting too, because she
knew none of it was true. The one thing she never let herself think
about was the fact that he was married. It didn't matter to her, after
all he had told Victoria that he was divorcing Evangeline, that he had
made a terrible mistake, and that he had spent five years in a loveless
marriage.

The idea that an Astor divorce would be the scandal of the century never
even occurred to her, although it had occurred immediately to her twin
sister.

They were far, far uptown by then, and the houses around them were
small, and simple, and square, and had begun to look almost rural.

Twenty minutes after they had left the library, Toby stopped the car in
front of a small, neat white house, with some overgrown hedges in front,
and a half-painted picket fence all around it.

"What is this? " Victoria asked, looking amused, wondering who they were
going to visit.

"It's my dream house, " he smiled at her, and walked around the car to
help her out. She stood hesitating for a moment as he grabbed a picnic
basket. She hadn't seen it before, but there was champagne in it, and
caviar, and a small cake, and some other treats he had pilfered from his
kitchen. Everything had been carefully arranged, and as she looked at
him in amazement, he took a key out of his pocket.

"Whose house is this? " she asked, not feeling afraid, but only curious
and uncertain. It was odd not knowing where she was, or who they were
visiting, and she followed him cautiously to the door as he unlocked it.

She could see a small neat living room beyond. The furniture seemed to
be in good repair though plain. Nothing was fancy here, but it looked
like a pleasant place to spend a quiet evening, and before she could
step inside, Toby took her in his arms and kissed her, pushing the long
dark hair back from her face, and feeling her body next to his, so close
he barely dared to breathe for fear he'd lose her.

And then he looked down smiling at her, and without a word, he picked
her up and carded her over the threshold.

"You'll be my wife one day, Victoria Henderson, " he said quietly.

"You barely know me now, but you will one day, and you'll be the next
Mrs. Whitticomb .. . if you'll have me .. ." He looked boyish and
unsure, and totally humble as he looked at her in the small room, his
broad shoulders suddenly seeming too big for it, his words almost more
than she could cope with. She was the girl who had said she'd never
marry anyone, that she wanted to be free, and one day live in Europe,
and now here she was, alone with this man, and totally his slave, to do
with whatever he wanted. She knew that she shouldn't be alone with him,
and that in some ways what they were doing was wrong, and yet how could
it be? How could this be anything but right? Anything but perfect?

She knew in her heart of hearts just how much she loved him. She had
been totally swept away by his heart, his charm, his guileless ways.

She trusted him as much as she did her own father.

"I love you so much, " she whispered softly, and he kissed her again,
and a moment later they were Lying on the couch, kissing passionately,
and she could feel his body throbbing beside her. She had no idea what
to do, or what he expected of her, and she knew she wouldn't do anything
foolish, and yet all she could think of was being here with him, being
his, being with him forever.

It was Toby who stopped finally, who played with her long hair with his
gentle fingers, as her blouse lay open. They put the picnic basket in
the kitchen, and he opened the champagne, and they sipped it as she
buttoned her blouse again and they went outside to the garden.

There were no neighbors nearby, there was no one anywhere, and as they
walked around, he explained to her that he had rented this just so he
could be alone, and get away from Evangeline, so he could think and
dream and have some time to himself. He told Victoria that it was here
that he had finally decided to divorce her.

"Will you miss the children terribly? " she asked sympathetically, as
they walked slowly back to the house, holding hands and talking softly.

"I will. But I hope that she'll be reasonable and let me see them.

It will be a shock to everyone of course, but I think she'll be relieved
too. No one should have to live like this forever. It will be harder on
our families than on us, because they won't understand it.

" Victoria nodded, as she began to realize with sudden seriousness that
it would be a frightful scandal. And undoubtedly, their father would be
deeply shocked, but perhaps in time, he'd listen. Victoria had no need
to marry him immediately. She didn't care at all, as long as they could
be together. And she realized it would be hard for both of them when she
went back to Croton. But he could come to visit frequently, and perhaps
while he was going through the divorce, it would be better for them, and
much more private. It was amazing how one's life changed, she mused, in
a matter of days or moments. Suddenly the course of her entire lifetime
was set in a different direction from what she had expected.

He asked her about being a twin, and he laughed at some of her
outrageous stories, and then suddenly they were in the doorway and he
was kissing her again. She didn't even know what time it was, or care,
all she knew was that she wanted to be with him.

They sat in the living room and talked again for a little while, and
then he poured her more champagne and they kissed some more, and this
time, without thinking or asking her, as they kissed, he slowly took her
blouse off. She began to object, to say something, but he silenced her
with able lips and nimble fingers, and the force of her own desire
almost frightened her as he kissed her, and then slowly let his lips
daft from her mouth to her neck, and then slowly down over her breasts
to her nipples. She was moaning softly, and he was aching with desire
for her, and suddenly she was looking at him, and she knew, as they both
did, that their lives had been changed forever. The moment and the
lifetime was theirs, the Asks, the dangers, the griefs, the joys, she
was willing to share them all with him.

And slowly her clothes melted away in his hands, and he lifted her
gently in his arms and took her into the bedroom.

The shades were drawn, the light was dim, there was a kind of mystical
haze all around them it seemed, and with the greatest care and
gentleness, the most infinite expertise, he took her. Her body sang and
keened for him, her heart long since his, her mind a blur from all that
he was doing. And it was hours later when she lay in his arms, startled,
but no longer afraid, half asleep, filled with love for him, and
completely trusting. She had given him everything she had to give, and
she knew without a doubt that she was his forever.

It was five o'clock when he woke her at last, and the light had grown a
little dimmer. He hated to wake her, but he knew they had to leave.

The last thing he wanted for her, or himself, was to cause her any
trouble.