Miss Bennet & Mr Bingley (19 page)

She no longer thought of him as Charles. She could not blame Mr Bingley,
Caroline or Mr Darcy for what had taken place. It had been
she
that had
mistaken things; she had placed too much weight on the attention he had shown
her. She overheard her aunt, Mrs Gardiner, who had arrived to spend the
Christmas week with them, talking to Elizabeth on the subject.

‘It seems likely to have been a desirable match for Jane, I am sorry it
went off. But these things happen so often! The young man, such as you
describe, Mr Bingley, so easily falls in love with a pretty girl for a few
weeks, and an accident separates them, then they as easily forget her, this
sort of inconstancy is a very frequent.’

Jane could not bear to remain where she could hear the conversation
further. Her mother always said eavesdropping brought no reward to the
listener. She decided not to join her aunt and sister in the drawing-room, but
go to the kitchen to see if she could help Hill with the Christmas
preparations.

The Gardiners were great favourites and Jane enjoyed their company. Mr
Gardiner, who was her mother’s brother, was a sensible man, who made his living
within view of his own warehouses, but was both well bred and agreeable. Mrs
Gardiner, who was several years younger, was an intelligent, elegant woman and
both she and Elizabeth were very fond of her.

Indeed, their aunt already knew what had taken place at Longbourn as
they had told her in their frequent correspondence. Over the Christmas period
they were so busy, what with the Philipses, the Lucases, and the officers,
there was not a day without its engagement and although Jane found this
fatiguing, being busy gave her little time to dwell on her own grief.

She watched Elizabeth flirting with Mr Wickham and was glad to see her
sister enjoying herself. If Elizabeth knew how low she felt, then she would not
be happy either.

‘Do you know, Jane, our aunt believed that I am in love with Mr Wickham?
Do you consider that I am in danger of being so afflicted?’

‘I should hope not, Lizzy. He is a charming young man, but not at all
suitable for you. Perhaps, if he had his own fortune, then maybe you could
consider him.’

She stopped, not wishing to continue on the subject, as to go further
would lead them into discussion of Mr Bingley and Mr Darcy, and that she could
not bear.

‘Jane, why do not you go back to London with our aunt and uncle? A
change of scene will be good for you. There are too many unhappy memories here
for you at the moment.’

Jane felt her spirits lift a little for the first time in a long while.
‘I should like that above everything, Lizzy. But it is not for
me
to
invite myself,

‘Fustian! You know we are both welcome there at any time. I shall run
down now and mention it to our aunt.’

Jane continued to stab at her embroidery, she no longer knew what the
image should depict, it had become unrecognizable as the stitches had been
placed so haphazardly, her concentration not on her work. She looked up when
the door was pushed open and saw Mrs Gardiner there, not Elizabeth.

 
‘My dear Jane, I had been
intending to ask you to come back with us, but was not sure if you should feel
obliged to accept when in fact you did not really wish to come.’

Jane put her stitching down, smiling faintly. ‘I should love to come,
your house is such a happy one. And it is possible that I might be able to
spend some time with my friend Miss Bingley.’

She knew that Caroline was not living in the same house as her brother,
so she might occasionally spend a morning with her without any danger of seeing
him.

* * * *

The day came for her departure and she embraced her sister fondly. ‘I
shall miss you, dearest one, perhaps you could come up and visit during my
stay?’

‘I shall do no such thing, Jane, at least not at first. You need to be
away from us all, not reminded of what has taken place here. You must
correspond with me, and I will write back to you immediately. And you must
promise me, Jane, that you shall not stay at home, but go out on every
opportunity to enjoy yourself.’

‘I do not believe that Mr and Mrs Gardiner go about a lot in company,
Lizzy. However, I promise, that if I
am
invited to a party, or an
assembly, I shall not refuse. I know that I must get on with my life, and be
open to new experiences.’ Neither of them mentioned Mr Bingley, and for that
Jane was grateful.

Jane was determined to enjoy her extended stay with Mr and Mrs Gardiner
and their four children. As their carriage trundled away from Longbourn she had
hoped to feel her spirits lift a little, to find herself anticipating the
treats to come whilst she was in town.

Unfortunately this was not the case. The further they travelled from the
comfort of her own home, and the companionship and love of Elizabeth, the lower
her spirits sunk. She made an effort to reply cheerfully to the kind enquiries
of her aunt and uncle but in spite of her best attempts they realized something
was awry.

Her aunt asked solicitously. ‘My dear Jane, do you have the headache?’

Jane nodded dumbly. ‘I am afraid that I do, Aunt Gardiner. Pray forgive
me for my lack of energy, I shall be perfectly well when we have arrived and I
have had time to rest.’ Jane hated to deceive her relatives even on so small a
point.

She felt it was her just desserts that by the time they actually arrived
in Cheapside she did indeed have a fearsome megrim. She was almost incapable of
speech, her stomach roiled, and she felt that the right side of her head was
about to come asunder from the left.

‘Do not try to speak, my dear, and leave your belongings in the
carriage, a servant shall collect them for you. Come along, lean on your uncle,
we shall take you in safely, never fear.’

Jane scarcely recalled her passage across the pavement, up the steps and
into the house. She was aware of a blur of little faces peering at her eagerly
through the banisters, but was far too wretched to acknowledge them. Without
the physical support of her uncle she was certain she could not have reached
the bedchamber allotted to her.

‘There you are, my dear girl, you shall be comfortable directly. A maid
servant shall take care of you now. I hope you are recovered soon.’

Someone, she was not sure who, removed her garments and replaced them
with a cool nightgown. Then she was between the sheets, the bed hangings drawn,
the shutters closed and she was left in the peace and darkness she craved.

It was to be several days before Jane felt herself sufficiently recovered
to do justice to her warm welcome, and the loving kindness off her aunt and
uncle, by joining them downstairs.

She had the exclusive use of a maid servant, and it was a luxury she
enjoyed but believed she did not deserve. The girl shook out the folds of
Jane’s skirt and stood back to admire her handiwork. ‘There, Miss Bennet, you
look a treat. That green gown is perfect.’

‘Thank you; I believe that I am ready to face my little cousins at last.
I have heard them clattering up and down outside, but until now have not felt
well enough to greet them.’

She had visited the spacious house in Cheapside on many occasions, but
this was the first time she had been on her own. It felt strange to descend the
stairs without Elizabeth behind her; her sister would be wondering how she did,
she had promised to write as soon as she had arrived. The stairs curved round
to end in a long, black-and-white tiled passage.

‘There you are, my dear Jane, you are looking a lot better this morning.
You are still heavy eyed and far too pale, but that is only to be expected
having been so sick for the past two days.’

‘I do feel a little weak, but I believe that after I have broken my fast
and stretched my legs a little I shall be recovered.’ She looked around
expecting to see her cousins waiting to greet her.

‘Are the children are not up yet?’

 
‘Good heavens, they have been up
for hours. No, I have sent them out for a walk with the nursemaid to view the
ships on the river. They shall not return until midday, so we have the house to
ourselves.’

Jane followed her aunt to the rear of the house to a small, sunny room
in which the family took their meals during the day. There was a larger, more
formal dining room, but this was only used in the evening when there were
guests present.

There was no sideboard with a selection of dishes waiting under silver
lids in this house. Here, you asked for what you wanted and it was prepared
especially. She thought that her aunt and uncle were considerably better off
than her family, but did not believe in conspicuous expenditure. They liked to
live simply, and she loved them for it.

‘I should like tea, and whatever bread your cook has baked this morning.
I do not think I could face anything cooked today; I do hope I am not
inconveniencing you by coming down at so late an hour when everyone else has
finished their breakfast.’

Her aunt laughed heartily . ‘You must stop apologizing to me, Jane. You
know how it is; we stand on no ceremony here. We treat our staff well, and in
return they are happy to deal with our irregular habits. I have not eaten yet
myself, so I shall join you.’

 
She picked up the little brass
bell from the table and rang it loudly. Immediately the door opened and an
elderly maid appeared, her apron pristine, her cap white. The woman bobbed in a
curtsy. ‘Are you ready to order your breakfast, madam?’

‘We are; Miss Bennet would like fresh bread, butter, and honey.’ She
turned to Jane who nodded. ‘Also we should like tea and whatever pastries are
freshly made this morning.’

Jane was not sure that her stomach was ready for any sweet treats, but
she did not wish to disappoint her aunt by refusing.

The tea, and other things, arrived within a few moments and she was
pleased to find she was able to eat an acceptable amount of what was provided,
even managing to eat one of the freshly baked scones; this, spread with
strawberry conserve, was quite delicious.

‘What do you wish to do today, Jane? I expect you would prefer to remain
quietly in the house, but if you wish to go down to the Honey Lane market, I
should be happy to accompany you.’

‘That is kind of you, Aunt, but I have letters to write. I promised I
should write to Lizzy when I arrived, she will be worrying if I do not send a
note today.’

Jane sharpened her pen, uncorked the ink bottle and sat pensively,
wondering what to write. She could not tell Elizabeth she felt so low in
spirits that she was finding it an effort just to get out of bed. No, that
would not do. She must forget about Mr Bingley. He was the most amiable man she
had ever met, and was certainly the first gentleman she had been in love with.
She had no notion how long the pain of losing him would remain with her having
not been unrequited in love before.

Her letter to her sister was brief, apologizing for its tardiness,
explaining that she had a particularly unpleasant megrim from which she was now
fully recovered. Jane said the house was, as usual, warm and comfortable, her
aunt and uncle perfect hosts, and that she was eagerly anticipating being
re-introduced to her young cousins. There was nothing else of importance to
say, she sanded the paper, folded and addressed it.

She had brought with her a small amount of pin-money, her father was not
ungenerous in this regard, but as she did not know how long her visit was to
last, she had gratefully accepted the offer of having all her correspondence
sent at the expense of her uncle.

* * * *

A week passed before she received a reply from Longbourn. Jane occupied
the time by entertaining the children. Her steady sense and sweetness of temper
exactly adapted her to tending to children in every way, of teaching, playing
with them and loving them. She did not go out on morning calls, and no one came
to visit. She thought she would write to Caroline and tell her again that she
was staying in London with her relatives. Jane spoke to her aunt about sending
a note round to Grosvenor Street and it was soon done, but she waited in vain
for a reply.

 
* * * *

By Christmas Mr Bingley had given up hope of receiving a favourable
reply from Jane. He could only believe that she had been so distressed by his
letter that he could not bring herself to answer. He was so low in spirits that
even his sister remarked upon it.

‘Charles, you must make more of an effort to be sociable. Upon my word I
do believe you are becoming as difficult to please as Mr Darcy. Will you not
come and join Georgiana, Louise and I for afternoon tea?’

The last thing he wished to do was make small talk with the painfully
shy Miss Darcy. However, whilst he was staying in Pemberley he must make the
effort; he was a guest in his friend’s house and he did not like to think that
he was being found wanting in his duties. He must push his own sadness to one
side and pretend that he was enjoying the carol singers, figgy pudding and other
festive treats.