Miss Fortune

Newport, Aug. 21A priceless Revolutionary-era hutch, inlaid with gold and ivory, as well as some china bowls and plates, on loan to the Rhode Island Historical Preservation Society (RIHPS) from the Hamblen family, were damaged beyond repair last week when a forklift, involved in the repair of the foundation of the historical Botwick House in Newport, Rhode Island, collided with an exterior wall.

An assistant curator, Professor Myron Tidwell, 38, said that in the course of repairing the foundation, the forklift gears jammed and the front loader hit the wall, damaging the contents inside. We are assessing the incident now, Professor Tidwell said. If we find the driver was at fault, we will take appropriate action, but at the moment, it looks like a tragic accident and a loss to America of precious pre-Revolutionary War artifacts.

The loss value of the hutch and china could very well be in the thousands. The damage to the structure could likewise be very costly. We are quantifying the claim, Tidwell said. The RIHPS insures its structures and their contents.

THEY were seated in two overstuffed chairs that put their heads below that of the marriage therapist across from them, who, with his legs comfortably crossed, drummed idly on the armrest as he peered down at his notes.

Aaron Lear thought this guy probably liked this setup-lording himself over all the poor slobs who couldnt make their relationships with even their underwear work.

Daniel (the therapist preferred the use of first names) was wearing a custom-made suit and square matchbox glasses. He had a dozen or more certificates framed and hung on the wall behind him, and boxes of tissue on every conceivable surface.

Frankly, Aaron hated him and his psycho-crap and how he looked down his nose and asked them to describe their feelings. Honestly, he couldnt say which was worseenduring the pain and sickness and overwhelming disappointment of having to undergo chemo and radiation again for a cancer that had come back with a vengeance? Or that he had to share his feelings?

Either way, it all led to the same, mortal conclusion, and he preferred not to sit around pondering the inevitability of his life coming to an end. Shit, he was a year away from being sixty years old and still had too much to do.

Granted, in the last two years he had seen his oldest two daughters find love and contentment, which was his most pressing pre-death desire. But he still had another daughter who needed him, the most hapless of his girls, his baby, Rachel. She hadnt found her way in life. How could he go before he had seen her through to something?

And of course there was Bonnie, the love of his life, the mother of his children, the woman he had treated like shit for more than thirty years, which, incidentally, was why they were sitting here waiting for Daniel the Overpriced Therapist to review some notes.

Actually, Aaron still thought it pretty remarkable they had reconciled. The day he had strapped on a pair of balls and gone to Los Angeles to beg her to give him one more chance he didnt deserve, hed seen her face and knew at once hed do anything. Hed seen the beautiful blue eyes that still glistened after all these years, the shiny dark hair with just a hint of gray and the unforgiving set of her jaw.

That was the moment hed known shed not allow him back into her life, would not sully one more day with him. Frankly, hed been more certain of that than he had been that the cancer had returned.

But somehowperhaps through divine intervention, who knew?Bonnie had let him in one last time. But with concessions. A host of them he couldnt really recall right now except for the pompous ass seated across from them.

The pompous ass must have felt his despising vibes, because he looked up, smiled at Aaron, and said, We did some good work Monday! We learned about our mutual feelings surrounding the first separation, didnt we?

Bonnie nodded. Aaron just glared at him.

Now Bonnie, when we met on Monday, you indicated you were agitated about a recent event, do you recall? Daniel asked.

Yes, I do, Bonnie said primly. She was sitting ramrod straight, her hands folded in her lap, looking gorgeous with her dark hair cropped short and wild, just like he saw in the magazines he read when he was getting chemo.

Would you care to talk a little about that? Daniel prompted.

She sighed, looked at Aaron. I guess its old news now. It was just that our daughter Rachel had been up to care for Aaron while I went back to Los Angeles to take care of a few things

Because your primary home is in Los Angeles, correct? And youve come to New York to be with your husband during a difficult time, Daniel said, a little heavy on the forlorn.

Thats right. Bonnie nodded, just as forlornly. Anyway, Rachel did not want to come to New York. Shes trying to finish her degree, you see

Thats not why she didnt want to come, Bonnie, and you know it, Aaron said. -

Aaron , Daniel said gently. Remember our rulesno one talks over their partner. Everyone has a chance to speak. When Bonnie finishes, youll have your turn to speak.

Bonnie sat a little straighter. It is true that Rachel has had a difficult time finishing school and moving on with her life, Bonnie conceded. She has been a doctoral candidate for a couple of years now.

Daniel chuckled. I can attest to the fact that taking a couple of years to finish a doctorate may not be as strange as it sounds.

God, what an idiot , Aaron thought with disgust.

Yes, well Rachel has been dating this mana professorand hasnt really shown any inclination to finish her doctorate and get on with her life.

Can you give me some examples of her disinclination?

Aaron damn sure could, but Bonnie always got to go first.

Okay, for example, she travels to England frequently to find a topic for her dissertationher degree is in ancient British history, we think. But she says there are so many interesting ideas that she hasnt been able to land on a topic yet. *

And you think that is ? What, untrue?

Hell yes we think its untrue! Aaron interjected.

Aaron thinks it is untrue, Bonnie corrected him. But I dont. Rachel is bright and articulate and has a heart of gold. She just doesnt understand where she fits in to this world, and she never really has. And when she has to land on something as defining as a dissertation topic, she cant find her answer.

And why is that, do you think? Daniel asked. Bonnie shrugged. Daniel nodded, wrote something down on his notepad. How exactly did Rachels indecision lead to your recent agitation with Aaron?

Bonnie snorted and looked out the window. Aaron wouldnt leave her alone. The whole time I was gone, he kept badgering her about her useless degree, and her useless boyfriend, and her weight , of all things! By the time I got back from L.A., Rachel had fled back to Providence.

That was very upsetting for you, wasnt it, Bonnie?

Yes! He swore he wouldnt do that! she said, pinning Aaron with a heated look.

But I didnt swear I would let my daughter flounder! Aaron shot back at her.

Aaron, remember our rule, Daniel reminded him once more with a smile.

Aaron came very close to telling him to go fuck his rules, but bit his tongue because he had promised Bonnie he would do this counseling, even if it killed him.

Daniel kept smiling. Lets talk a moment about the promises we think we hear. Bonnie, what did you hear Aaron promise you?

That he would change, she said, shooting him another look. And that he would attend marriage counseling with me, that hed go to church and listen , and that he would stop berating our daughters for every little thing. Hes been doing that all their lives, always thinking he knows best, and he practically alienated our oldest, Robin, from us for good because he was always pushing , and then there was Rebeccathat poor girl had just suffered through a difficult time with her divorce, and Aaron was so certain he had to teach her something instead of letting her figure it out on her own, and now with Rachel Im just worried that he will push her away, too, and of all our daughters, I think Rachel is the one who really needs us the most.

When the hell do I get to talk? Aaron demanded.

You may talk now, Daniel said cheerfully.

Okay, here is what happened, Aaron said, sitting up a little straighter. First of all, this guy Rachels been hanging around the last couple of years is never going to support her. In fact, shes been loaning money to that loser, which means shes been loaning him my money! And she cant even see the irony in that! Shes like, Dad, he really needs it more than me. Bullshit! And speaking of irony, heres my second point, he said, pausing to take a breath. I told her when I first got sick that she had one year to finish her degree. I said, Either shit or get off the pot, but you have to figure out how to make your own way in this world, because dear old Dad aint going to be around to make it for you. Come on, Bonnie, you backed me up on that, he reminded her.

Bonnie looked at her lap and nodded.

So I told Rach that the money train shed been living off of for thirty or so years was leaving the station. And you know what? She had more than a year! She had almost two , for Chrissakes, and she still hasnt finished her degree!

And how does it make you feel when Rachel doesnt do what you ask?

Was this joker kidding? Well, Daniel , it makes me angry , and before you give me that smirk, Ill add that you have no idea how maddening it is to see your own flesh and blood just twisting in the wind! And you know what the shit of it is? Of all our girls, Rachel is the most creative, and may even be the brightest, but there she goes, spinning her wheels in a dead-end graduate field with a dead-end guy. Aimless! he said, throwing up his hands. Totally aimless!

You dont understand her, Aaron, and you never have! Bonnie exclaimed, and Aaron wondered why she got to talk during his time. Rachel is a pretty girl, but shes not a beauty like her sisters.

What do looks have to do with it? Aaron demanded. You ask me, Rachel is more attractive than her sisters. Shes got that all-American rosy-cheek look and that long dark curly hair she ties up on her head, he said, gesturing at his head in a tie-up way. Her problem is she doesnt want to go where life is leading her.

Not where life is leading her, Bonnie said. Where youre leading her.

Oddly enough, that remark stopped Aaron cold, and he stared at Bonnie for a long moment.

How does that make you feel, Aaron? Daniel asked quietly.

It makes me feel like Bonnie doesnt understand me. Its not me thats leading her; its that useless degree and that useless boyfriend. Thats real nice, aint it? After ten years of higher education, what have we got to show for it?

Go with that, Daniel urged him. Go with your feelings. How are you feeling?

Ashamed, he said flatly, ignoring Bonnies gasp. Ashamed that we didnt do better by her. Sorry that I dont have the time to go back and fix it all. Yet I have to do something because that girl is still relying on meI asked her, What are you going to do when I die? and all she could do was cry. Its like talking to a goddamn wall.

Id like to suggest a couple of things here, Aaron, Daniel said, templing his fingers. First of all, it is possible that Rachel is quite happy in what she is doing. She may not aspire to the same things you aspire to for her.

Obviously! he snorted, folding his arms over his chest.

Your message is a good one, however. You want her to learn to provide for herself, to be an adult, am I right?

Yes! That is exactly what I am trying to do, but oh no, Im the monster , he said, mimicking quotation marks at Bonnie.

Perhaps, then, since your usual way of communicating with Rachel doesnt appear to be working, you might try a different approach, Daniel said smoothly. If you feel like you are talking to a brick wall, then change die way you are talking.

How the hell can I be any plainer?

What do you think would happen if you were kind to Rachel? Daniel asked.

Aaron blinked. Come again?

Think about being kind to Rachel. Try seeing the situation from her shoes.

Aaron frowned. I dont know what you mean.

Well, let me try this, Daniel said, exchanging a look with Bonnie. If Im Rachel, Im around thirty years old, Ive been in school for a long time. Maybe so long I dont even remember what the real world looks like anymore. And maybe I like my professor boyfriend because he doesnt push me; he just lets me be who I am. And maybe, when someone suggests I step outside my comfortable world into the real world, it makes me nervous, and I do things to maintain a sense of comfort, like overeat.

Aaron was already shaking his head at the mumbo jumbo. Why in Gods name would she be afraid to step out into the real world?

Because, Bonnie said softly, every time she has, she stood in the shadow of two very accomplished and beautiful older sisters, and she is criticized for the way she looks, and for the things that interest her, and essentially, for who she is. In Providence, shes not criticized, shes accepted for who she is. Shes safe. Out there, shes not.