Missed Connections (66 page)

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Authors: Tan-ni Fan

Tags: #LGBTQ romance, anthology

BOOK: Missed Connections
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Her grey eyes were sparkling now and I couldn't help smiling at her. "That's good of you. Does Lynne know that she was adopted?"

Nodding, Georgia looked away to follow the trail of a hawk overhead. "I never kept it from her, just told her that her mom, my sister, wasn't ready to have kids. She never really was and moved out of Colorado to go to college in another state as soon as she could. Now she's merely the batty aunt that prefers her cats to most people and gets upset when someone interrupts her stories."

Realizing that I'd been standing there almost an hour, and that I hadn't taken more than two steps in the last three hours since I'd left my home that morning, I reached into the cab of my truck and pulled out my suitcase. It was light lavender and it rolled, something I realized wouldn't be a practical feature in the uneven parking lot. At least I'd left my best heels at home. "I adopted my youngest when he was a few years old. I think that was great that you helped your sister out."

She turned back to me and lifted one of her less than perfectly sculpted eyebrows. "Your youngest? How many children do you have?"

I smiled at being able to talk about them. I loved my children, each and every one of them. "Six. The youngest is just learning how to drive and Annalee is my oldest."

Her eyes widened and I waited, used to the questions that came with that kind of revelation. I was in my sixties raising a teenager and I was on the list to adopt again, pending approval. A large house felt far too empty without children in it and I'd been raising them for so long that doing anything else wasn't comfortable for me.

"How many of them are gay?" Georgia asked after a moment, startling me into nearly dropping the handle of my suitcase.

"Pardon?" I asked, shocked at her question. It wasn't one that I'd heard before. I made no secret of the fact that Annalee was a lesbian. I was proud of her for everything she'd ever accomplished and being open enough to come and tell me that was one of those things I loved her for most.

Georgia gave me a little shrug. "When Lynne came out, my dad blamed me for influencing her into the darkness of my lesbian ways." There was no anger or even heat behind her words, not like there would have been if I'd have said it. I couldn't imagine something like that coming out of the mouth of one of my parents.

"Three of them," I said, answering her earlier question. It wasn't something I was ashamed of in the least, though my once-upon-a-time husband had thought I should be. He was one to talk though since most of the things he found shame in were ones that he engaged in regularly. Adultery had been the last straw over twenty years ago.

It took my mind a good minute to catch up to what Georgia had really said. "You're gay?" I asked. My voice broke and squeaked and I coughed, pretending that something besides her revelation had turned me into a mess. But it hadn't and now I could only stand and stare at the woman I'd once had a crush on, all grown up.

She gave me a sneaky little smile. "Yes. Though don't tell my mailman. He delivers my packages first and that's, I suspect, because he thinks he has a chance with me. My dogs scare him off before he can ever ask though. They're giants and their hair gets everywhere. But I love them."

I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say or where I should have gone after finding out that Georgia was gay and so I merely nodded, tipping my chin slightly in her direction, and curled my hand around the extended part of my suitcase's handle. "I think I'll go find my room. Do you know what numbers we're in?"

"Sure. They put us right beside each other. I figure since they're running on a skeleton crew this weekend that would make it easier for them. Here, I'll show you," she gave me a little wave of her hand, followed by a crook of her finger. Her bracelets went up and down her wrist again. I tended not to wear jewelry beyond the small diamond studs in my earlobes. I hadn't worn a ring since I'd tossed it at my husband the night I'd thrown him out and most necklaces were too long and ended up in my bra.

"What do you do?" I asked as she led the way up a little path, marked only by wide, flat stones pressed into the earth toward the old cabin. The resort was rustic and barely provided any amenities, but for two women that had met on a hike in Colorado's backcountry I supposed this kind of place would be perfect for their wedding.

"I teach art at the local community college. Application, not history," Georgia replied as she led me into the resort and down a hallway to the right. To the left I saw a small kitchen and a desk. A balding man that looked to be at least a decade older than I sat at the desk reading a tattered paperback novel. He didn't look up when we went by him. We stopped in front of an unassuming brown door with the number thirteen etched into it.

"Hope you're not superstitious," she joked.

I gave her a little laugh and shook my head. "Not at all." There was already a key waiting in the lock and I twisted it, glad that the door opened easily. It was a silly little thing to admit but I was never all that good with keys and had spent a good bit of money over the years getting the broken tips pulled out of the locks from the keys that I'd accidentally broken off in them. The key that fell into my hand was one of the old style, almost a skeleton key, and I held it for a long moment until realizing that I was just standing there. The room was small but the window looked out over a pond and a small run-in shelter where I could see a few horses standing in the shade. There was a quilt laying over the bed and though it wasn't exactly a closet, the standing metal rack with hangers on it would do well enough for the few shirts I'd brought that I didn't want to leave wrinkled.

"It's too nice to stay inside. Want to come out with me?" Georgia asked.

I considered her offer for nearly a full minute but in the end shook my head. "I think I'll take a rest," I told her. I wasn't tired. Not exactly anyway. But I did want to unpack and have a minute for myself. I hadn't intended to spend too much time with my daughter's future mother-in-law. In fact I hadn't even really thought that I'd like her all that much. Not because Lynne wasn't a nice woman, but because... well, I just wasn't all that sure I guess. It simply hadn't been something that I'd planned for.

Georgia's smile didn't falter. "I'll see you in a while then. We're tasting cake in a few hours."

I nodded and watched her let herself out of my room. We were there to organize the wedding and I was fairly certain I couldn't do that if I kept focusing on the girl that I'd had my first crush on and the woman that had just revealed to me that she was a lesbian. Being lesbian, gay, or bisexual had seemed almost to become en vogue over the last few years. Plenty of people were coming out. Bryce, my middle son, and his partner told me I was cool because I was like Ellen DeGeneres. I didn't know about all that. I'd rather they have looked up to me for something other than my sexuality but perhaps me being gay made it easier for them to tell me that they were. I liked to think so anyway.

I pulled my lavender suitcase onto a wooden chair beside the metal clothes stand and unzipped it, glad to see that everything didn't immediately come spilling out.

I had packed light because I'd known this would just be an overnight trip. I'd brought a few shirts, a couple jeans, and some pajama sets along with the robe Annalee and Lynne had bought me last Christmas. It was soft and likely expensive. I had told them not to spend money on me. They'd argued that I was worth it. I'd found the package in front of my room, neatly wrapped with no name on it telling me who it was from. But I knew my boys couldn't be bothered to pick something as nice as the soft robe was and so I'd thanked them for it anyway.

I saw movement outside of my window and watched as, still barefoot, Georgia let herself into the little pasture that the horses were in. Growing up on the Colorado Front Range, most of my friends and I had been around horses. I'd been in more than one school summer day program that had taken a trip to a farm and I remembered having a horse birthday party at the horse rental place down from my house as a kid. I'd been ten, crazy about horses, and ready to ride them.

What I ended up getting was led around on the back of a pony and not being trusted enough to even hold my own horse's reins despite my protests. My mother had apologized but I still remembered being upset for a good week after as my dreams of galloping all over the state park had been horribly ruined.

I focused on putting my shirts up on the wooden hangers that had been provided and was certainly not distracted by the laughing I heard coming from the pasture. By the time I was ready to put my toiletries on the dresser though it was hard to ignore the sound of Georgia having fun out there. So I went to look for myself.

A short walk down a mild hill behind the dining room and I was at the pasture as well I stood outside of the pasture with my arms on the metal fence as I watched Georgia run after the horses, chasing and playing with them as she laughed and her short hair flew out behind her. She was barefoot and I thought that made her brave. Unable to help it, I laughed with her. The sound caught her attention and she stopped. The horses kept trotting around her, their tails held high as they pranced.

"Come join us," Georgia called, raising her hand.

I shook my head. "I'm good on this side of the fence. Thank you."

There was a pout and then with a crook of her finger I was bidden closer. I found myself unlatching the gate and coming in and as soon as the gate had been locked behind me I was met with three curious horses, all looking for handouts and eagerly sniffing me.

"They're beautiful. Aren't they?" Georgia called as she pushed her way through two of them.

I nodded. "They are. Do you have much experience with them?"

Georgia gave me a smile and hooked her arm around the face of one gray horse, pulling him toward her so that she could kiss the top of his head, right between his eyes. "None at all. My dad was allergic to hay. I know you tried to get Annalee lessons once, right? Lynne told me."

"I did. She fell off and swore that she'd never go near a horse for the rest of her life. I was actually surprised that she chose a place that had horses. How is it that you're so good with them if you have no experience with them?" I asked her, easily curious, not just about how she was with horses but about her in general. My daughter had fallen in love with hers. It seemed ironic that she had been the girl that made me come to the full realization that I wasn't as perfectly straight as I'd tried to be.

Georgia gave me a little shrug. "I suppose it's just that animals like me. What do you do? You never told me."

My hand dropped from the horse's neck that I was petting. I wasn't ashamed of my job, not in the least, but it wasn't something that most people were okay talking about. "Lynne never told you?"

Georgia laughed, a little tinkling thing that sounded like the bamboo wind chimes I had hanging up over the pergola in my backyard. "No, she hasn't mentioned it."

"I work for the city, in a way, I suppose. I'm a victim's advocate, mostly children."

Her eyes widened. "So you deal with... "

She let the words trail off and I nodded. "Lots of children out there needing help." I didn't need to say what kinds of help they needed, I was sure people could imagine. And that was why I didn't talk about my job too often. People tended to look at me strangely after knowing that I dealt with the youngest and most vulnerable victims all day.

"Don't know how you do it. I'd want to swoop them all up and take them home with me. I never wanted more than Lynne but I can see why you'd have six then," she said, her voice going soft.

I gave her a smile, thankful she seemed to understand and that she also hadn't pressed me for information that I likely couldn't give her. 

Before I could say anything more she asked a question I wasn't expecting. "How'd you take it when Annalee came out to you?"

"I came out to her first so I suppose that made it easier for her," I said automatically, only realizing when she was staring at me that I'd outed myself. Not that it mattered, or was a big deal, but maybe it was to her.

She slowly moved her lips until she was smirking. "Our gay daughters have gay mothers." The announcement ended in a laugh that I couldn't help getting in on.

"Yes, I suppose they do." Staring at Georgia, I wanted to say more. I found myself wanting to open up, to share at least some of my secrets with her. It was crazy, I was sure of that, since really I'd known her less than a day. But at the same time I didn't have lesbian friends and the possibility of finally having one after so many years was too tempting of a possibility to ignore.

"When did you know that you preferred women?" I asked her as the horses moved away to go play in the sun.

She moved out of the pasture and I followed. "I was ten, I believe. Though I can't really be sure. I wanted to hold the hand of my neighbor, a little girl, more than the boy that I had been dared to kiss by a classmate. We were on my front steps and she was drinking lemonade on her front steps across the road from me."

"Did you ever do it?" I asked. She turned away from the building and led me beyond the pine trees. I could hear water moving nearby and enjoyed the seclusion that the line of trees provided, even if we hadn't actually moved all that far away.

Georgia turned and put her hand on the rough bark of a pine tree as she looked up at me. "Do what?"

"Kiss your neighbor?"

Georgia shook her head. "Never got a chance to. Her family moved about a month later and some bratty little boy moved into her house. I hated him because he used to throw mud at my friends and me. How about you? Same question. When did you know that you were a lesbian?"

I blushed, not sure I wanted to answer. After all, truthfully that answer was when I'd met her. But I went with another instead. "I was in high school and I thought that a friend of mine was pretty."

"Did you end up kissing her?"

The question was innocent enough but I shook my head. The answer was too odd and made me look so inexperienced that I was ashamed of it.

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