mission magic 01 - the incubus job (17 page)

He gave a frowning nod. “You’ve likely overloaded your channels with the magic you expended tonight. Or possibly the connection with the demon is causing it.”

I gave a little shrug. Nothing much I could do about either one. He laid a hand on my forehead and another on my chest. Magic wreathed his hand and pulsed inside me. It burst into me like a puff of summer wafting through an open window. My body went boneless as a feeling of utter relaxation overcame me.

“Neat trick,” I murmured. “Where’d you learn to do that?”

“Sleep now,” he said, ignoring the question. “I’ll do what healing I can while you’re out.”

“And So’la?” I mumbled as my eyelids drooped closed, too heavy to hold up.

“The demon will be taken care of,” he growled.

It occurred to me that that sounded more ominous than I liked, but when I opened my mouth to ask what he meant, it turned into a yawn.

“Go to sleep,” he said. He bent and brushed his lips deliberately against mine. I decided not to think about what it might mean. Just thinking about us made my head hurt. I snuggled into the sheets, inhaling the scent of him wrapping my body.

* * *

I thought that maybe Law would have climbed into bed with me. Or maybe I just hoped. Instead I woke up with ghosts. They ringed the bed in silent vigil. I wriggled up against the pillows and looked around at them. All of them were there. Tabitha and Edna stood at the foot of the bed. Edna held the girl’s shoulders. All of them watched me with solemn, sorrowful eyes.

Instantly I was assailed with guilt. “Look, I’m sorry,” I said. “I was totally irresponsible—”

“You’ve been kind and generous to us,” Ramona said, interrupting.

“You’ve let us stay with you and protected us,” Tag added. “We’re grateful.”

If anything, that only made me feel worse. I’d let them go after Law, knowing that they risked their lives, and I’d not tried to stop them.

“Tabitha wants to cross over,” Edna announced suddenly.

The words punched me in my stomach, and the room spun around me. I clutched the sheets beside me for balance. “What?”

“It’s time,” Edna said simply.

I looked at Tabitha. “Why?”

I didn’t really expect her to answer.

“I want to see my family,” she said.

“But—” There was no telling if her family still existed anywhere. I had no idea if there actually was a heaven or any place else for souls to go. I didn’t say it. She might have that kind of faith, and if so, I didn’t want to ruin it for her. I brushed the sudden tears that burned in my eyes.

She floated toward me, coming to kneel weightlessly on the bedcovers beside me, covering one of my hands with hers. The electric chill of her energy was as familiar to me as my own heartbeat. “I need you to send me home.”

I could only stare. “No.” It came out in a strangled whisper. “No,” I repeated, more loudly. “I’m not— You can’t—” I shook my head emphatically. “No.” What she meant was she needed me to exterminate her. I couldn’t. Not without knowing for sure I wasn’t sending her into permanent nothingness.

“It will be all right,” Edna said, her dark eyes heavy with sympathy. “God will take care of her. You need only open the door for Tabitha to go into his arms.”

I wasn’t sure I believed in God most of the time. I shook my head, pulling my hand away from Tabitha’s touch. “I can’t. You can’t ask me to.”

I launched myself out of the bed, uncertain where to go. All I knew was that I needed to get away from the beseeching demand in Tabitha’s gaze. “There’s got to be another way,” I said and strode toward the first door I saw. It led into the bathroom.

I shut the door behind myself and leaned against it. I glanced around. The room was enormous, done in grays and blacks. On the vanity were a few masculine toiletries. My dress was gone. Good riddance. I doubted it could be salvaged. I shivered, remembering that Law had taken it off me twice. Where was he? Where was So’la? How long had I been asleep?

I glanced down at myself, taking an account of my physical aches and bruises. There weren’t any. Mostly I felt hungry and thirsty.

I rinsed my face then filled the glass at the sink and rinsed my mouth out. It felt a little too intimate to use Law’s toothbrush. I blushed hotly at myself in the mirror. Too intimate. As if we hadn’t mauled each other in the restaurant manager’s office. The ache of that experience was gone now too, along with all the others. Maybe it was a sign. Pretend it never happened.

I bent my head, trying to think about last night. Or however long ago it had been. I’d told Law I loved him. He’d told me he’d been watching after me, waiting for me to come back to him. But he hadn’t said he loved me back. And he still thought I was crazy at best, broken at worst.

I heaved a long sigh and straightened. I looked at myself again. “You can’t hide forever,” I told myself. I looked a lot like a deer in the headlights, poised to run but nowhere to go. Time to face the music. The whole damned symphony of it.

I swung open the door, half expecting to see the ghosts waiting in a wall. But most of them were gone. Tabitha held Edna’s hand, her other caught in Tag’s. She looked less haunted than she had before last night, as though reliving the night of her death and seeing So’la had somehow cleansed her. But no. That sort of thing couldn’t be cleaned. Maybe it had freed her from the memories so she could let go.

Let go of this world and go on to the next.

“I swore I’d never exterminate another soul again,” I said to the three of them.

“It is what she wants,” Tag said and he blinked to clear ghostly tears from his eyes. “You have given us the dignity of remaining in this world, of choosing what we will be. Let Tabitha choose.”

“She could be committing suicide,” I said. “With me as the weapon.” I gave a hard shake of my head and folded my arms over my stomach in a vague defense. Against what, I didn’t know. It’s not like they were going to attack me.

“It’s her choice,” Edna said.

Tabitha pulled herself free from the two adults and approached me. She looked up at me. “I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to go. I want to try.”

I stared down at her. My chest caved in under a tide of grief and self-disgust. I was a killer. That was my peculiar talent. The worst part was it was easy. As simple as blowing dandelion fluff. It should have been harder, especially since only a few sorcerers actually could do it. Yet it took no more effort than cracking an egg.

I swallowed hard. “Are you really sure?”

Tabitha smiled and for once she looked happy. “I am. I want to see my family again.”

I gave a little nod. “Okay. I hope it turns out,” I said around the baseball-sized knot in my throat. That was all the good-bye I could manage.

I didn’t wait, didn’t make a production out of it. I simply pulled my magic into me and sent a dart of energy at her. She vanished, just like that.

I sank to the floor, staring at the spot where she’d been. Another door flung open, and Law stormed inside. His gaze swept the rumpled bed then the room.

“What the hell? What was that spell? What are you doing on the floor?”

“Tabitha’s gone,” I said in a small voice. “I killed her.” I felt thin as glass and full of cracks. Ghosts fluttered over me and around me as if to offer comfort.

“What happened?”

Law dropped to his knees in front of me. Somewhere behind him, I was aware of So’la’s presence.

“She wanted to go. She asked me to send her.” I shook my head and shrugged at the same time, unable to meet his eyes. “I had to. I’m the only one, you know, except you, and she was my—”

I was going to say responsibility. When had I become a mother to a ghost? That’s what it felt like. Like I’d killed my own kid. Except I wasn’t her mother and she was years older than I was. I was her port in a storm more than anything. Safety from exterminators like Law. And me.

Law cupped my chin and lifted it until I met his gaze. “Don’t,” I said.

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t tell me I was just doing my job or that she’s better off or any other bullshit.” My words came out harsher than I intended.

He winced. “I suppose I deserve that.”

I twisted out of his grip and sighed. “No, you don’t.” I stood up. He rose with liquid grace. I glanced past him. So’la remained in his demon form. He stood inside the doorway, watching me.

“You okay?” I asked.

He tipped his head. “As well as can be expected,” he said, his voice dust dry.

As well as could be expected for being enslaved to me. I nodded that I understood, my stomach twisting tighter. I wasn’t hungry anymore. With Law looming so close, I felt trapped. “I should call Ivan,” I said.

“What will you tell him? You can’t give him the box or its contents.”

“I’ll tell him what happened.”

“He won’t be happy.”

“He’ll get over it.”

“And then what?”

“He’ll give me another job, I suppose.”

Law’s nostrils flared and he nodded, his mouth tightening. “Be difficult to get there. The place is still sealed.”

“LeeAnne must be climbing walls.”

“Fuck her.”

The painfully jealous side of me wanted to ask if he had, but he’d said he hadn’t been with another woman. Still, I could imagine them together and that was enough to rip my heart in half.

“We need to talk,” Law said finally when I didn’t speak.

“Can I eat first?” I wasn’t sure I could keep food down, but anything to delay a heavy talk. He was going to go off on me for my stupidity again. I’d have to agree and then . . . I had no idea. Probably a discussion of my poor choices in jobs and life, and then a rehash of me walking out on him.

“We’ll talk over breakfast,” he said then glared at So’la. “Alone, if you please.”

The demon looked at me with those unreadable orange eyes. What did he expect me to do? But I knew. Demands. Orders. I decided to ignore him.

“Are you ordering room service?” I asked Law, looking doubtfully down at myself. “Or are we going to hit an IHOP?”

“I’ll cook,” he said disdainfully.

I cocked my head at him, surprise making me meet his sharp green gaze at last. “Since when do you cook?” When we were partners, the backseat had always been filled with fast food sacks, pizza boxes, and protein bar wrappers.

His expression tightened and a bleak look swept his features. “I had time on my hands.”

Because of me? Because he’d left the job? Because the auberge didn’t keep him busy enough? I didn’t know what to make of that. I mean, for all I knew, he’d gotten bored with the stay-at-home job. He’d never been much for the social scene. He wouldn’t go in for the clubbing or the parties. Anyhow, if there was a message in there for me, I didn’t get it. I’d told him I loved him, we’d had great sex, and that was that. I wasn’t sure I could actually do the sex-buddies thing again, but I was willing to try. I’d given him up once. I wasn’t ready or able to do it again, not without his help.

He glanced once more at So’la. “I’ll be in the kitchen,” he said and swept out the bedroom door.

“How are you?” I asked the demon after a moment.

“Alive,” came the dry response.

“And well?” I asked.

“Can’t you tell?”

I rubbed my head. The verbal fencing made it hurt. “Would I have asked?”

The creature shrugged, his folded wings rising and falling above his awful head. “The sorcerer healed my wounds,” he said grudgingly.

“That’s good.”

“He did so to keep me from leaching strength from you.”

“At least you’re okay.”

“It behooves you that I am. Now what would you have me do for you, Mistress?”

“Not this again,” I muttered, the rawness from killing Tabitha flaring under the scrape of his accusing voice. “Look. You’re the one who made me open the box. I don’t want you. I’ve been doing fine on my own. So I’m going to go about my business and hopefully find a way to break this binding and send you back to Demonlandia.”

“It is not breakable. We are eternally bound. ’Til death do us part,” he said mockingly. “A marriage made in hell.”

A sound from the doorway caught my attention. Law stood there. “You are not married,” he said between stone lips.

So’la’s lips parted in a jagged smile. “Are we not? An arranged, unhappy marriage to be certain, but—” He broke off in another shoulder-rolling shrug.

Law’s green eyes lasered at me. “Get rid of him or I will.” He turned and walked out of the room again.

“I don’t suppose you want to make this easy on me?” I asked the demon.

His lips curled. “No.”

I drew in a breath and let it out slowly. “He’ll do it, you know.”

“I know. And what he does to me, he does to you.” The jagged grin. “Everything has a cost.”

“Do you get off on hurting people?” I asked. “I mean, you were told to maim and torture, and it seemed to me that you didn’t like it, but now I’m wondering.”

“I like to see those who’ve earned pain receive it.”

“And I have. Because I opened the stupid box and idiotically picked up that command stone. How much is your fault? For dragging me into your mess? If anybody’s to blame for shackling us together, it’s you.”

“A necessary risk,” he said, but his eyes flamed with emotion.

“Well, you took that risk, and it didn’t pay off, and you should damned well stop blaming me. I told you before. I don’t want anything to do with you, except to send you home.”

“This world is my home,” he hissed. “I never want to go back.” His wings lifted and spread in his agitation.

“So getting attached to me is a good thing for you in that respect,” I said sourly. “You may think I’m your ball and chain, but apparently I’m also your permanent anchor to this world. Your pissing and moaning is starting to ring hollow to me. I’m wondering now if you had this in mind all along.”

The demon lurched forward, stopping only when his nose brushed my forehead. I held my ground, despite the stink of his breath and the heat rolling from his skin.

“I wanted freedom!” he bellowed.

I flicked my fingers at the door, locking it before Law came bursting through, riding his white horse.

“So. Do. I.” I said emphatically. “I didn’t want this anymore than you do, but it looks like we’re stuck, so are you going to stop being an ass and start dealing with it?”