Mistress of Mellyn (21 page)

We went into the room. Alvean was lying on, her back looking very ill, poor child; but she gave us a wan smile when she saw us.

” Hallo, Miss,” she said. ” Hallo, Aunt Celestine.”

Celestine knelt by the bed, took her hand and covered it with kisses.

I stood on the other side of the bed and the child’s eyes were on me.

” I didn’t do it,” she said.

” Well, it was a good try.”

Connan was standing at the foot of the bed.

I went on: ” Your father was proud of you.”

” He’ll think I was silly,” she said.

” No, he doesn’t,” I cried vehemently. ” He is here to tell you so.”

Connan came round to the side of the bed and stood beside me.

” He’s proud of you,” I said. ” He told me so. He said it didn’t matter that you fell. He said all that mattered was that you tried;

and you’d do it next time. “

“Did he? Did he?”

” Yes, he did,” I cried; and there was an angry note in my voice because he still said nothing and the child was waiting for him to confirm my words.

Then he spoke. ” You did splendidly, Alvean. I was proud of you.”

A faint smile touched those pale lips. Then she murmured :

” Miss … oh Miss …” And then: ” Don’t go away, will you. Don’t you go away.”

I sank down on my knees then. I took her hand and kissed it. The tears were on my cheeks again.

I cried: ” I’ll stay, Alvean. I’ll stay with you always …”

I looked up and saw Celestine watching me from the other side of the bed. I was aware of Connan, standing beside me. Then I amended those words, and the governess in me spoke. ” I’ll stay as long as I’m wanted,” I said firmly.

Alvean was satisfied.

When she was sleeping we left her and, as I was about to go to my room, Connan said : ” Come into my library a moment with us. Miss Leigh. The doctor wants to discuss the case with you.”

So I went into his library with him, Celestine and the doctor, and we talked of the nursing of Alvean.

Celestine said; “I shall come over every day. In fact I wonder, Connan, whether I won’t come over and stay while she’s ill. It might make things easier.”

“You ladies must settle that,” answered Dr. Pengelly. ” Keep the child amused. We don’t want her getting depressed while those bones are knitting together.”

“We’ll keep her amused,” I said.

“Any special diet, Doctor?”

” For a day or so, light invalid foods. Steamed fish, milk puddings, custards and so on. But after a few days let her have what she wants.”

I was almost gay, and this swift reversal of feelings made me slightly lightheaded.

I listened to the doctor’s instructions and Connan’s assurance that there was no need for Celestine to stay at the house; he was sure Miss Leigh would manage and it would be wonderfully comforting for Miss Leigh to know that in any emergency she could always ask for Celestine’s help.

” Well Connan,” said Celestine, ” perhaps it’s as well. People talk.

And if I stayed here . Oh, people are so ridiculous. But they are always ready to gossip. “

I saw the point. If Celestine lived at Mount Mellyn, people would begin to couple her name with Connan’s; whereas the fart that I, an employee of the same age, lived in the house aroused no comment. I was not of the same social standing.

Connan laughed and said: ” How did you come over, Celeste?”

” I rode over on Speller.”

” Right. I’ll ride back with you.”

” Oh, thank you, Connan. It’s nice of you. But I can go alone if you’d rather …”

“Nonsense! I’m coming.” He turned to me.

“As for you, Miss Leigh, you look exhausted. I should advise you to go to bed and have a good night’s sleep.”

I was sure I could not rest, and my expression must have implied this for the doctor said: ” I’ll give you a draught, Miss Leigh. Take it five minutes before retiring for the night. I think I can promise you a good night’s sleep.”

” Thank you,” I said appreciatively, for I suddenly realised how exhausted I was.

I believed that tomorrow I should wake up my usual calm self, able to cope with whatever new situation should be the result of all that had happened today.

I went to my room, where I found a supper tray waiting for

n me. It contained a wing of cold chicken, appetising enough on most occasions, but tonight I had no appetite.

I toyed with it for a while and ate a few mouthfuls, but I was too upset to eat.

I thought it would be an excellent idea to take Dr. Pengelly’s sleeping draught and retire for the night.

I was about to do so when there was a knock on my door.

” Come in,” I called; and Mrs. Polgrey came. She looked distraught. No wonder, I thought. Who in this household isn’t? ;” It’s terrible,” she began.

But I cut in quickly: ” She’ll be all right, Mrs. Polgrey. The doctor said so.”

” Oh yes, I heard the news. It’s Gilly, Miss. I’m worried about her.”

“Gilly!”

” She didn’t come back from the show. Miss. I haven’t seen her since this afternoon.”

” Oh, she’s wandering about somewhere, I expect. I wonder if she saw.”

” I can’t understand it, Miss. I can’t understand her being at the show. She’m afeared of going near the horses. You could have knocked me down with a feather when I heard she was there. And now … she’s not come in.”

” But she does wander off alone, doesn’t she?”

” Yes, but she’ll always be in for her tea. I don’t know what can have become of her.”

” Has the house been searched?”

” Yes, Miss. I’ve looked everywhere. Kitty and Daisy have helped me.

So’s Polgrey. The child’s not in the house. “

I said: ” I’ll come and help look for her.”

So instead of going to bed I joined in the search for Gillyflower.

I was very worried because on this day of tragedy I was prepared for anything to happen. What could have happened to little Gilly? I visualised a thousand things. I thought she might have wandered on to the beach and been caught by the tide, and I pictured her little body thrown up by the waves in Mellyn Cove as her mother’s had been eight years ago.

That was morbid. No, Gilly had gone wandering and had fallen asleep somewhere. I remembered that I had seen her often in the woods. But she would not be lost if she were in the woods. She knew every inch of them.

I nevertheless made my way to the woods, calling ” Gilly! Gilly!” as I went; and the mist, which was rising again with the coming of evening, seemed to catch my voice and muffle it as though it were cotton wool.

I searched those woods thoroughly because my intuition told me that she was there, and that she was not lost but hiding.

I was right. I came across her lying in a clearing surrounded by small conifers.

I had seen her in this spot once or twice and I guessed it was a haven to her.

“Gilly!” I called.

“Gilly!” And as soon as she heard my voice she sprang to her feet. She was poised to run but she hesitated when I called to her: ” Gilly, it’s all right. I’m here all alone and I won’t hurt you.”

She looked like a wild fairy child, her extraordinary white hair hanging damply about her shoulders.

” Why, Gilly,” I said, ” You’ll catch cold, lying on that damp grass.

Why are you hiding, Gilly? “

Her big eyes watched my face, and I knew that it was fear of something which had driven her to this refuge in the woods.

If only she would talk to me! I thought. If only she would explain.

” Gilly,” I said, ” we’re friends, aren’t we? You know that. I’m your friend as Madam was.”

She nodded and the fear slipped from her face. I thought, she has seen me in Alice’s well-cut riding clothes and, I believe, in her confused little mind she had bracketed us together in some way.

I put my arm about her; her dress was damp and I could see the mist on her pale brows and lashes.

” Why, Gilly, you are cold.”

She allowed me to cuddle her. I said : ” Come on, Gilly, we’re going back. Your grand mamma is very anxious. She is wondering what has become of you.”

She allowed me to lead her from the clearing, but I was aware of the reluctant drag of her feet.

I kept my arm firmly about her, and I said : ” You were at the horse show this afternoon.”

She turned to me and as she buried her face against me, her little hands gripped the doth of my dress. I was conscious of her trembling.

Then in a flash of understanding I began to see what had happened.

This child, like Alvean, was terrified of horses. Of course she was.

Had she not been almost trampled to death by one?

I believed that, as Alvean had been suffering from temporary shock, so was this child; but the shock which had come to her was of longer duration, and she had never known anyone who had been able to help her fight the darkness which had descended upon her.

In that misty wood I felt like a woman who has a mission. I was not going to turn my face from a poor child who needed help.

She was suffering from a return of that earlier shock. This afternoon she had seen Alvean beneath a horse’s hoofs as she herself had been after all it had happened only four years ago.

At that moment I heard the sound of horse’s hoofs in the wood, and I shouted: ” Hallo, I’ve found her.”

” Hallo! Coming, Miss Leigh.” And I was exhilarated almost unbearably so because that was Connan’s voice.

I guessed that he had returned from Mount Widden to discover that Gilly was lost, and that he had Joined the search party. Perhaps he knew that I had come to the woods and decided to join me.

He came into sight and Gilly shrank closer to me, keeping her face hidden.

” She’s here,” I called. He came dose to us and I went on:

” She is exhausted, poor child. Take her up with you.”

He leaned forward to take her, but she cried out: ” No! No!”

He was astonished to hear her speak, but I was not. I had already discovered that in moments of stress she did so.

I said: ” Gilly. Go up there with the master. I’ll walk beside you and hold your hand.”

She shook her head.

I went on: ” Look! This is May Morning. She wants to carry you, because she knows you’re tired.”

Gilly’s eyes turned to look at May Morning, and, in the fear I saw there, was the due.

” Take her,” I said to Connan, and he stooped and swung her up in his arms and set her in front of him.

She tried to fight, but I kept on talking to her soothingly. ” You’re safe up there. And we’ll get back more quickly. You’ll find a nice bowl of bread and milk waiting for you, and then there’ll be your warm cosy bed. I’ll hold your hand all the time and walk beside you.”

She no longer struggled but kept her hand in mine.

And so ended that strange day, with myself and Connan bringing in the lost child.

When she was lifted from the horse and handed to her grandmother, Connan gave me a smile which I thought was infinitely charming. That was because it held none of the mockery which I had seen hitherto.

I went up to my room, exultation wrapped about me as the mist wrapped itself about the horse. It was tinged with melancholy but the joy was so strong that the mingling of my feelings was difficult to understand.

I knew of course what had happened to me. To-day had made it very dear. I had done a foolish thing perhaps the most foolish thing I had ever done in my life.

I had fallen in love for the first time, and with someone who was quite out of my world. I was in love with the master of Mount Mellyn, and I had an uneasy feeling that he might be aware of it.

On the table by my bed was the draught which Dr. Pengelly had given me.

I locked the door, undressed, drank the draught and went to bed.

But before I got into bed I looked at myself in my pink flannelette nightdress, primly buttoned up to the throat. Then I laughed at the

incongruity of my thoughts and said aloud in n my best governess’s tones: ” In the morning, after the good night’s rest Dr. Pengelly’s potion will give you, you’U come to your senses.”

The next few weeks were the happiest I had so far spent in Mount Mellyn. It soon became clear that Alvean had suffered no great harm. I was delighted to find that she had lost none of her keenness for riding and asked eager questions about Black Prince’s slight injuries, taking it for granted that she would soon ride him again.

We resumed school after the first week; she was pleased to do so. I also taught her to play chess, and she picked up the game with astonishing speed; and if I handicapped myself by playing without my queen she was even able to checkmate me.

But it was not only Alvean’s progress which made me so happy. It was the fact that Connan was in the house; and what astonished me was that, although he made no reference to my outburst on the day of the accident, he had clearly noted it and would appear in Alvean’s room with books and puzzles which he thought would be of interest to her.

In the first days I said to him : ” There is one thing that pleases her more than all the presents you bring; that is your own company.”

He had answered: ” What an odd child she must be to prefer me to a book or a game.”

I smiled at him and he returned my smile; and again I was aware of that change in his expression.

Sometimes he would sit down and watch our game of chess. Then he would range himself on Alvean’s side against me. I would protest and demand I be allowed to have my queen back.

Alvean would sit smiling, and he would say: ” Look, Alvean. We’ll put our bishop there, and that’ll make our dear Miss Leigh look to her de fences

Alvean would giggle and throw me a triumphant glance, and I would be so happy to be with the two of them that I grew almost careless and nearly lost the game. But not quite. I never forgot that between Connan and me there was a certain battle in progress and I always wanted to prove my mettle.

Though it was only a game of chess I wanted to show him I was his match.

He said one day: ” When Alvean’s movable we’ll drive over to Fowey and have a picnic.”

” Why go to Fowey,” I asked, ” when you have a perfect picnic beach here?”