[M__M 03] Misery Loves Company (19 page)

Yet the sylph didn’t break our bond like Red-eye had. With Red-eye, my burst of power had been put to immediate use and then cut. For whatever reason, the sylph was too stupid or too in shock to release me. I was going to burst as a result unless I did something to expel this energy.

So I struck. Physical activity had worked last time. I hoped it would again.

The female sylph scrambled away as I snatched at her arm, and she dropped her knife. By the time I kicked it away, her male counterpart had recovered his wits. Bewildered, he lunged for me with his weapon, and I dodged easily. His speed charm was nothing to the magic that I controlled. He seemed to move so slowly, so clumsily. One swipe of my arm and he flew back several feet. He landed with a cry, and the woman shrieked.

“What the hell happened? What did she do?”

I ignored them. They weren’t a threat any longer, and I pushed the sylph who’d addicted me in the chest. “Where are the sylphs who attacked their addicts? Who has Shawna’s soul? Which goblins are you working with?”

The sylph’s jaw worked, but no words left him.

“Answer me.”

“Cut her loose,” the woman yelled at him.

“Answer me!” My voice echoed off the ceiling like a burst of thunder, but he still didn’t respond.

Shit. Had I taken too much power from him, or was he in some kind of magical shock? I didn’t know how to control this.

The woman yelled his name and ran over to shake him.

I grabbed her arm. “Answer my questions.”

She clawed at me, so I sheathed Misery and snagged her other arm too. It was ridiculous how weak and insignificant she felt in my hands. I could snap her in two on a whim. “I don’t know,” she whispered.

Annoyed, I tossed her toward the other male. She landed on her side with a thud. Retrieving Misery from my sheath, I advanced on her, but a flash of white flew by in my peripheral vision. She screamed.

I gasped as my connection to the first sylph shattered. Power drained away in an instant, leaving me lightheaded and swaying on my feet. I felt its remains crackling over my skin, but I was empty inside—a sad and hollow letdown that made me think of a junkie coming off a high.

Then Misery slipped in my grasp, and I snapped back into myself. Danger. Without the connection, I was only Jess again. But as I spun around to face the sylphs, two of them dashed out of the barn in another blur. The door slammed in their breeze.

I let them go and focused on the sylph who’d addicted me. He remained on his knees, unmoving with his back to me. As I took a cautious step forward, he fell over. His head landed at an unnatural angle, and the mat began to pool with blood. So much blood.

That’s why the connection had broken. The other male sylph must have had a salamander fire-forged blade and slit his friend’s throat.

Clasping a hand to my mouth, I stumbled backward until I found my phone. Luckily, it had landed on a mat so it wasn’t damaged, and I finished dialing the Gryphons before I got sick.

Chapter Twenty-Two

My simple quest to ask Shawna questions turned into hours of post-sylph murder cleanup. The Gryphons, including Bridget, had arrived with alacrity, but I had a lot of explaining to do.

The easy but unfortunate parts related to Shawna. The dead sylph, on the other hand—that was complicated. No one truly doubted me when I said I hadn’t killed him. Why would I deny it? The Gryphons wouldn’t care, not much. As long as I claimed he’d attacked me, they’d call it justified self-defense.

I should have done that, but I hadn’t been thinking clearly. Upset over Shawna and disturbed over what Assym’s next move would be, I’d failed to think through my explanation. The Gryphons knew I had freaky magic, so I’d forgotten they weren’t aware of the extent of its freakiness. They didn’t know I could reverse a pred-addict bond, and I wasn’t ready to tell them.

I rested my head on my knees, sitting on the warm grass by the carriage house. No longer could I hear children playing on the school grounds. Only Gryphon voices filled the air. They’d cordoned off the area.

Bridget squatted next to me. “Jess, you really need to be clearer about why that sylph is dead.”

“I told you. One of the other sylphs killed him because he was doing something stupid and they were scared.” I brushed dirt off my jeans and stood. “I’m not sure I should say anything else until I talk this over with Agent Kassin.”

“I thought you didn’t like him.”

“I don’t.”

And yet, here I was using him as an excuse. It was the least he could do for me. Hell, he might even thank me for not spilling my guts about what had actually happened. My entire existence had been concocted in secrecy, after all. Surely, the extent of my power was part of that. Not that I would be pleased for Tom to find out about it, but realistically, that had been bound to happen. I couldn’t avoid him forever, and I owed him a conversation.

Bridget smoothed the wrinkles from her shirt. “Fine. He’s due back soon, and we’ve got enough issues with the case at hand for me to worry about. But once this report is filed, you know the director is going to have questions about your nonanswers.”

Ugh. No doubt. “Won’t be the first time I piss off Olivia.”

The sound of a car pulling into the driveway ended our conversation.

“That must be Shawna’s family,” Bridget said.

Peachy. It sucked being a bearer of bad news, but since I’d known Shawna—however barely and briefly—I felt responsible for telling her family what had transpired.

It was late afternoon by the time I was ready to leave, and as happy as I was to get out of the way, returning to Shadowtown was not an appealing thought. Why, oh why, had I chosen to live around so many people who hated me? My only consolation was that the two sylphs who’d gotten away had seen what I’d done to their friend. Maybe Assym would also be scared and keep his distance.

Yeah. And salamanders might spit water.

To top it off, I’d lost hours upon hours of research time, and my head was in no place to return to dusty books.

I rode straight home, parked my bike and went to The Lair. It would be busy by now and only getting busier, but I wasn’t ready to return to my research, and I sure didn’t feel comfortable being home alone. Besides, I’d texted Lucen to let him know what had happened, and I wanted to talk it over. More than that, I wanted to stay at his place tonight.

Paulius was behind the bar, as was usual on a Saturday, but I didn’t see Lucen. Sauntering over, I waved to catch the bartender’s attention.

He came over a minute later. “Lucen’s not back yet if you’re looking for him.”

“Not back yet? Where is he?”

“He left you a message. He told Dezzi what happened to you with the sylphs, and she called him and a few other people together to discuss the situation. I don’t know what they’re up to, but he left about thirty minutes ago, and I don’t expect he’s going to be back for a while because he called in help to cover his shift.”

I swore, checking my phone. Sure enough, Lucen had called. I must not have heard the phone among all the commotion at Shawna’s.

“Can I get you anything?” Paulius asked.

Whiskey, a double sounded good, but I shook my head. My nerves were frayed, but drinking in Shadowtown did not feel wise. Not tonight when I half-expected retaliation at any moment.

I took to a quiet corner and listened to Lucen’s message. He didn’t say much of anything that Paulius hadn’t related, although he’d expressed far more concern and outrage on my behalf. Whatever he was up to with Dezzi, I got the feeling Lucen was out to kick some sylph ass.

Sighing, I hung up. Dezzi would talk him down from his righteous anger and probably attempt to speak with Assym. Assym would want to know why she cared. It could be an interesting conversation. I wished Lucen had waited for me so I could take part.

But you’re not a member of the council and wouldn’t be allowed to participate. Dezzi is making that clear.

Scowling, I sent Lucen a new text, telling him to let me know when he was back. Then I called Steph. If I couldn’t be surrounded by satyrs who had my back, I wanted to be in another neighborhood.

An hour later I met up with Steph at Kilpatrick’s pub for dinner. Guinness and greasy fish ’n’ chips made excellent comfort food, and I deserved some comfort.

“I hope I didn’t make you leave Jim behind,” I said. “I wouldn’t have minded if he came.”

Steph coated her fries in ketchup with an annoyed face. “He was thrilled that you called. One of his friends is hosting a poker night, so now he can go without feeling like he’s ditching me.”

“Good.”

She stuck her finger in my face. “Not good. If he loses money, I’m blaming you.”

“You realize that’s terribly unfair. It’s not like you were going to stop him from going in the first place.”

“I might have tried, but you sounded upset, so I couldn’t say no.”

“Yeah, there’s a reason for that.” I peeled excess batter off my fish and chewed slowly, wondering how much to divulge. “I was attacked by a few sylphs today while following a lead on Eric’s case.”

Steph smacked her beer bottle against her mouth in surprise. “Are you okay? Why didn’t you say something on the phone?”

“Because I’m fine, relax. I just needed to get out of Shadowtown for a while until my head cleared.”

“No kidding. I told you not to live there.”

“Yeah, you did. But I’ll be fine.”

She rolled her eyes. “Of course you will. That’s why you’re not there tonight. Because you feel totally safe surrounded by preds.”

I am a pred.
But I swallowed down that thought with my beer. “I’m no less safe around preds who have it in for me than I am around humans who have it in for me. The really bad news is that I lost my lead, although in retrospect, I’m not sure she was much of a lead. The sylphs used her as a lure to get to me.”

“What do they want with you?”

“Everyone wants me. I’m that cool.”

Steph snorted. “Please. If you’re not going to be serious about being attacked, then give me an update on Eric’s case.”

That much I could do without reliving my afternoon, so I shared everything that had happened since the last time we’d talked. It wasn’t much, and Steph figured that out pretty fast.

“So you’re telling me they have nothing. It’s been almost a week, and the Gryphons have nothing.” Steph shoved her half-eaten burger away.

I played with my fork, drawing swirls in my ketchup and searching for an explanation. “It’s not nothing, but it’s moving slowly. For whatever reason, Eric didn’t seem to have a written contract with his goblin. It happens. Either that, or the goblin destroyed Eric’s copy to keep us from finding it. But we will find out who it was, and we will make them pay for it.”

“But it might be too late by then. Your Gryphon friend said there was a limited window to get his soul back.”

So Bridget had, and I had nothing to say to make Steph feel better about that. I also suspected mentioning to Steph that I was working an angle with the goblin Dom would only infuriate her more. “We’re trying.”

“I know you’re trying. I don’t doubt you.” She let out a frustrated cry and finished her beer. “I just hate it, Jess. I hate them. Every single damn pred. Why can’t we kill them all like the Gryphons used to do way back when? They’re all in Shadowtown. Just raze the entire fucking neighborhood, you excluded. They’re all evil parasites, and it’s not fair that we’re supposed to play nice with them when they don’t treat us the same way.”

I winced. “Some are bad, yeah, I won’t argue that. But…”

“Nuh-uh. No buts. Jesus, Jess. Three of them tried to kill you today. Why are you defending them?”

“I’m not defending those three. I’m just saying evil is a strong word. Evil suggests they like being cruel.”

“They turn people into fucking addicts. They feed off of suffering. That is the very definition of evil.”

Steph’s anger burned hotter with each word, and I couldn’t blame her. She was upset about what happened to Eric, worried for me and…wrong. Just wrong too.

I couldn’t help but think of Lucen, and not only how he was good to me, but how I’d seen him take care of the homeless ghouls wandering Shadowtown, and how he told me he thought it was wrong to let that happen to addicts.

I thought of my conversation with Devon too. How he claimed that most people had no idea what they were getting into when they changed, the longing in his voice when he’d commented on how lucky I was that I didn’t need addicts to survive.

And Angelia, brutally attacked by humans but still determined to make sure people didn’t get hurt with her magic.

Yes, their power hurt people, but I could not accept that they were all evil. Once I’d have agreed with Steph, but not anymore.

I wrapped my hands around my beer. “Evil suggests they enjoy being cruel. That’s not true of all of them, just like it’s not true of all humans. Some are evil, and some aren’t.”

“Bullshit. You’ve been spending too much time with that satyr so-called friend of yours, drinking their pred-flavored Kool-Aid. I’d have thought working for the Gryphons would counteract it, but it’s like you forget that you’re human just because you’re not as vulnerable to their magic.”

“I’m not human.” The words tumbled out of me by accident, a simple, automatic correction to her false statement.

Fuck.

My eyes opened wide. This was not how I’d planned to confess. I must have been too lost in my thoughts to hold my tongue.

Across from me, Steph blinked. “What?”

Blood rushed to my face, and I pressed my sweaty hands tighter around my beer glass to cool off. I had a choice. I could go on and tell her the truth, or I could keep lying. It would no longer be a lie of omission at this point. It would be a calculated, deliberate deception to my best friend of ten years. It would—no way around it—be a shitty thing to do.

Whatever I chose, this wasn’t going to end well. I might be able to smooth things over temporarily with a lie, but when I did admit the truth one day, she’d have every reason to be furious, and I would deserve her wrath. Shit, I deserved it now.

So screw it. It had already been an awful day. I might as well continue down that path and be a better friend even if I regretted it later.

I took a deep breath. “I’m not human.”

Steph’s anger was receding and fast, overwhelmed by confusion. “I heard you. What does that mean?”

I choked down a laugh. What could it mean except for exactly what it sounded like? She was in denial and no wonder. I’d been, too, when Gunthra had told me the truth.

“It means I’m not human. I’m…” Deep breath. “I’m a satyr.”

Steph’s face went as blank as her emotions went numb. Then she was the one who laughed. “Is this a joke to make me repent and rethink my opinion on satyrs? Because it’s not funny. I know about your gift, but you don’t have horns, Jess. You don’t have addicts. I’ve known you since the day the Gryphons kicked you out of their stupid Academy. You were wearing their uniform that night. You can’t possibly be a satyr.”

I swallowed. “And you know why the Gryphons kicked me out—my gift went rogue. They didn’t understand it, they thought it was vanishing. But it didn’t vanish. You know that too. It became a satyr’s power.”

“Yeah, but—”

“No buts, remember?”

Steph pushed her hair behind her shoulders. “Stop it. You’re not a satyr. Preds are a threat to you. They can work their magic on you. They can’t do that to other preds, and besides—you don’t have fucking horns. You don’t have addicts. You can’t arouse lusty feelings in people by standing next to them. Just because you were cursed—”

“I wasn’t cursed. I was wrong about that. I’m an anomaly, like a satyr subspecies that you’ve never seen before. And there’s so much more I could tell you about what I can do and how I got this way, but I don’t know if I’m allowed to because it’s really complicated.” I paused to gulp for air and reached for her arm. “But you deserve to know the truth.”

Steph snatched her arm away, and my stomach fell to the sticky floor beneath me. “No, don’t do that. I don’t understand what you’re telling me or why, and I don’t like it. You are not one of them because they are evil, and you’ve always been a good person.”

“I am one of them, and we are not all evil.”

“Do not say
we
.”

So conscious of every one of my breaths, I tried to gauge her emotions, but Steph was unfathomable. Her emotions were too wild, too screwed up for me to dissect them. But they were unhappy, that much I could tell, and it drove home how much of a pred I was. Breathing her in, I could get high enough to run circles around the city. It wasn’t like when I’d fed on the sylph’s power earlier, but it was close enough.

And it made me ill. The hurt and confusion and denial in her eyes sat in my gut like poison.

“Steph…” My voice trembled, and I searched for the right words that would help her deal. But what were they? I had a hard enough time dealing myself.

Eventually, she exhaled a slow, loud breath. “You’re telling me the truth.”

“Yes.”

“You’re a satyr.”

“I am.”

“Shit.” Steph reached into her wallet and threw a twenty down on the table while I watched, frozen. “Sorry, Jess, but I need time to process this.”