Modern Arrangements: Complete Trilogy (Modern Arrangements #1-3) (19 page)

"What’s the matter Aid-man, you
feeling a little frustrated?" Dixon boasted from under his lap dancer.

"Shut up, Dixon." Though I
didn’t really want him to shut up, his teasing was distracting me pretty well.
"I’m going to kill you for this."

"Oh, no, little man!" He
laughed loudly. "Thank your future wife! That one is on her!" he
howled and I snapped my eyes open to look at him.

"W-What?" I choked.

I could hear James and Liam in
hysterics.

"Lilli was very specific on what to
have set up for you." Dixon burst into a fit of laughter again.

"You told her we were coming here
but you didn’t tell me?" I shot my eyes over to James.

"It was your surprise, not
hers." He shrugged and went back to watching Liam hand money over to a
dancer.

"Why the hell are you not throwing
dollars or getting this treatment?" I motioned to the full action that I
was receiving, now knowing it was courtesy of my fiancée.

He shook his head.

"I’ll just watch," he smiled.
"Elora wouldn’t appreciate it if I came home tonight smelling like another
woman." He smirked. "Besides watching Liam is priceless!"

"Oh, hush it, boy!" Liam
joked.

"I’m so telling Aunt Viola about
this," James teased.

"Please," Liam rolled his
eyes. "Go ahead, it might get her all hot and bothered." Liam smiled
at us slyly.

"W-what?" I yelled.
"Liam!"

"What?" he shrugged.
"Your Aunt likes when other women flirt with me…it’s sort of like
foreplay. Like at the New Year’s event when—"

"Stop!" James and I yelled at
the same time.

"Oh no, please continue!"
Dixon shouted out with a large smile.

"I am not going to listen to this
about my sweet and
innocent
aunt," I teasingly scowled at Liam.

"Innocent?" He snorted and
started laughing.

"Okay, seriously, stop!" James
begged as he buried his face in his empty hand.

Liam just smirked at us as he ordered
another drink.

Four hours later, we headed to a local
sports bar for a late lunch and some beers. Most of us were a little buzzed and
opted for water or coffee at this point. We sat around watching sports on the
large screen TV’s.  After we finished eating we headed up to a private room James
had secured at a local casino type place.

We sat around for five hours playing
blackjack, poker and a few other card games. It was roughly eight-thirty in the
evening when I received a picture message from Maggie.

I almost shot beer out of my nose from
the message. Everyone looked up at me.

"Who would be opposed to crashing a
bachelorette party?" I smirked and every single one of their eyes lit up
like it was Christmas.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

At eleven in the morning people started
to arrive for brunch. Viola had had a cater come and set up early, along with
table set up and decorating. I had been up since six this morning so I could
help and of course Phoebe was adamant about helping me get dressed.

Once Aidan had left, his Aunt Anne
arrived with Elora and her mother. Then came a slew of people I barely
remembered from Elora and James’ wedding. I plastered on my smile and greeted
everyone as they entered.

Mimosas were served along with hor
d’oevres for about an hour before we all sat down and to a light lunch of soup,
salad and finger sandwiches. As dessert, cookies and small cakes were set out
and served with tea. The brunch had gone smoothly, except for Aidan’s Aunt
Anne. She was something else, very blunt and even downright rude.

She had called Celia a bargirl and was
so happy for me that Aidan had gotten me out of ‘that lifestyle’. She went on
to interrogate me about my future plans and if we had started trying to get
pregnant yet. She was not my favorite person. Elora shot me an apologetic look
from across the table. She obviously understood my pain right now. I smiled and
winked at her, causing her to giggle and earning her a disappointed look from
Aunt Anne and her own mother.

I hadn’t realized that I would have to
open all of the presents while everyone was there. It took me two hours to open
the gifts, show them and thank people. I was exhausted when Viola handed me one
more, small package.

"This one is from Aidan,"
Viola smiled as she stood next to Maggie. Maggie had been sitting with me and
helping me with all the gifts.

"Aidan?" I questioned. She
nodded. I opened the gift and found a necklace with a large pendent on it. It
was very pretty, but I wasn’t sure what it was.

"It’s the Iverson family crest,
dear," I looked over to Viola who was smiling. "It is tradition for
you and Aidan to both wear the crest during the wedding."

"Oh," I said quietly.

"He had it specially made for
you." I looked back to her quickly. I knew that this was definitely a specially
made piece and that they didn’t just run to Wal-Mart for it, so I could only
imagine how much it cost.

I wonder if this is one of the pieces of
jewelry that gets returned at the end of the four years?

"It’s beautiful." I smiled
politely.

Once everything was done and the
conversations began to die down, people finally started to leave. I was telling
Elora goodbye when Phoebe approached.

"Where do you think you are
going?" Phoebe huffed.

"Umm…" Elora didn’t get to
finish.

"Send your mother and the in-law on
their way. You are staying." Phoebe winked and headed over to a few
others.

I collapsed onto the couch and put my
feet up.

"Who knew that it would be this
tiring?" I said out loud, not really expecting a response from anyone. All
I got were giggles.

"The night isn’t over yet,
ladies!" Phoebe smirked.

"What?" I looked up to see
Phoebe smiling profusely.

"Oh, I’ve got plans," she
smiled then turned to Maggie. "Baby girl, you know I love you, but you
will have to leave the party at one point."

Maggie pouted.

"Why?"

"Because part of the night is not
teenager approved," Phoebe kissed her cheek and smiled.

"Oh my," Viola gasped.
"Maybe I should…"

"Oh, hell, no!" I yelled at
her. "You are staying,"

Phoebe shooed us upstairs where she
conveniently had extra clothes set out. I was kind of happy because it was a
pair of skinny jeans and a simple sleeveless blouse. It was much more
comfortable.

The first thing I noticed as I descended
the stairs was the music, my eyes then settled on a bar that wasn’t there before.

"Phoebe, what the hell is
this?" I smiled.

Phoebe turned.

"This is where we get to design our
own cocktails."

"Nice," I appraised with a
smile.

Everyone gathered around creating their
own personal cocktail while the others named the creations. Celia created what
we named the
Flaming Bitch
. Phoebe created what we named the
Evil Lawn
Gnome
. Maggie created what Viola named the
Virgin for Life
. Elora
created what we named the
Silent but Deadly
. Viola created what I named
the
Hell Cat
. I created a drink that they named
Reformed Bargirl
.
Clearly, mine was in honor of Aunt Anne. Phoebe was brilliant and we spent the
rest of the evening drinking our personalized drinks.

Next, an Intimacy Consultant named Anita
arrived. When Anita walked in she looked very studious. However, when she
started to set up I would have never guessed that she did this for a living.
First came all types of lingerie: see through, lacy, racy, edible and even
costumes.

"Okay," Phoebe cleared her
throat. "The idea here is to purchase things for our dear Lilli to wear or
use on her honeymoon." Phoebe giggled and I scowled at her.

"Don’t waste your money," I
spit out quickly, earning a laugh from Maggie and Viola.

"Oh honey, if Aidan is anything
like his uncle then you will definitely want to get yourself some."

"Mom," Maggie yelled and
covered her ears.

We all burst into laughter.

"I’m just saying," Viola
shrugged. "Your father is quite—"

"Seriously? Seriously, mom? No…ew,
ew, ew!" Maggie screamed as she left the room. "God, please let my
car get here soon!" The laughter just got worse.

All of the drinking started to catch up
with us. Celia had a red lace bra on overtop of her black halter top, modeling
it. I pulled a dark blue nightie on over my clothes and posed provocatively when
I saw the flash.

"Maggie!" I yelled and chased
her around the room, everyone laughing.

"Oh, I am totally saving that one
as the background on my phone!" she laughed as she dodged my attempts to
catch her. Finally, I was laughing so hard I couldn’t run any longer. "My
car is here!" Maggie beamed, ran to kiss Viola and then she headed home.

Maggie was only gone for ten minutes
when Anita pulled a trunk out and started unloading things. There were
lubricants, vibrators, handcuffs. You name it, Anita had it in her trunk.

Viola grabbed a pair of padded handcuffs
and slipped them on.

"Find something you like?" Anita
questioned.

"Maybe," Viola grinned.

I started laughing.

"You could always buy them for
Aidan," Phoebe suggested to Viola.

"Huh?" Viola looked confused.

"Well, handcuffing Lilli to the bed
might be the only way he’ll get her to stay in his!" Phoebe started
roaring with laughter as I tossed a butt plug at her.

Viola giggled.

"Oh no, I think that this would go
nicely with my naughty officer outfit." Viola said it so straight faced
and seriously that for a moment, I couldn’t even react.

"Holy shit, Vi," Celia
exclaimed. "You’re a closet freak!" she laughed.

"Please honey, I invented
freak," she winked. "I’ll take these and give one to the bride too."
We all laughed harder.

"Really, Viola, I won’t need
those." I stated between giggles.

"You will if Aidan is like his
uncle," she smiled slyly as she sipped on her drink.

We had convinced Anita to stay with us
after she was done with the ‘consultation’. We helped her clean up her things
and then we all sat around drinking, laughing and dancing. A knock erupted at
the door and Phoebe rushed to answer.

Three police officers came in, it didn’t
take a genius to realize what they really were. I rolled my eyes. Phoebe tried
to look innocent as I scowled at her before she turned the music to something
different and the ‘officers’ were pulling me off the couch and into a single
chair. They danced around me and grabbed my hands to run down their chests as
they danced. I caught Phoebe with a camera a few times and stuck my tongue out
at her.

Finally having had enough, I sent one
officer to Viola, one to Elora and the other to Phoebe. Phoebe was giggling as I
took pictures, Viola was a little too excited and I definitely got pictures of
that. Elora was just red faced and embarrassed. My stomach hurt so badly from
all of the laughter.

The strippers finally said their
goodbyes and gave me their best wishes on my marriage.

"Whew! I need a drink and a cold
shower." Viola panted.

"Hell, I just need one of those
vibrators at this point." Elora blurted out. I almost fell off my seat
laughing.

"Jesus, Phoebe, you are corrupting
everyone!" I chuckled out. She smiled proudly.

"The night is not over yet,
bitches!" Phoebe bounced up and down.

"Oh God, Phoebe I don’t think I can
take anymore." I said breathlessly.

"I can take more." Viola said
loudly with a large smile.

"Good," Phoebe exclaimed
"Because we are going to have some lessons shortly."

"Lessons?" I asked nervously.

"Yep," Phoebe popped the p at
the end before heading to the door; our next event had arrived.

A woman with super long, platinum blonde
hair, a fake tan, injected bubble gum pink lips and a large boob job came in.
Phoebe showed her where to set up in front of us and we all sat patiently.

"Hello, I’m Tandy" I almost
rolled my eyes at her name, given her appearance. She placed a case on the
coffee table in front of us, opened it and pulled out rubber penises. I almost
shot my drink out of my nose. Again. "I will be instructing you on proper
blow job technique."

"Oh my God, Phoebe."

"What?" Phoebe shrugged and
grinned, while Viola yelled, "Yeah," clapping her hands.  She reached
out, the first to take a rubber penis.

"Unbelievable," I shook my
head.

"Phoebe, I don’t think I will ever
find a bachelorette party that will match this night," Celia said
astounded.