Modern Arrangements: Complete Trilogy (Modern Arrangements #1-3) (61 page)

Chapter Eight

Winter Harbor and Back
Again

Lilli

At first, the flight with the twins,
mainly Walsh, was crazy. He hated the plane. I was finally able to situate both
babies in my lap. Once Livy was next to him, he started to calm down. Phoebe
was quiet, which I appreciated. She hadn’t heard the whole story but she was
letting me have the time that I needed to cope.

Halfway into our flight, the twins fell
asleep and I started to doze off myself. As I felt myself slipping into
slumber, the image of Loreley's naked body wrapped around Aidan's flashed
behind my eyelids. I gasped and my eyes flew open.

"Lilli, are you okay?" Phoebe
looked at me concerned.

I shook my head as the tears started.
That was when I told Phoebe everything that had happened, from the weird
message up to when I met with her to fly to Winter Harbor.

"I am so sorry." She held me
in her arms as I sobbed, my tears dripping onto the first class seat.

"I can't get it out of my head."
I growled out and sat back into my seat.

"Things will work out, just take
the time you need to figure out what you are going to do." Phoebe rubbed
my leg as she spoke.

I nodded, sniffled, and sat quietly the
rest of the flight.

When we arrived to my father's house, I
couldn't help but smile. Donald walked out onto the porch as we approached. He
was walking around and looking good. No wheelchair, no bedridden sickly man; it
was about the only thing that could make me smile at this point.

"Lilli!" He wrapped his arms
around me as I gave him a one armed hug. I had Walsh in my other arm. "And
here is my handsome grandson!" He beamed down to Walsh as he ruffled his
hair. Walsh shied away into my shoulder.

"You look good, Dad. Like, really
good." I smiled. "Millie's been taking good care of you."

"Yeah, yeah." He smiled.
"Where's my..? There she is!" I turned and saw Phoebe approach with
Livy.

"Ah, Donald, I never knew how much
you missed me?" Phoebe giggled and then winked.

"I missed you too, Phoebe."
Donald chuckled and then walked over to Livy, who was shying away into Phoebe's
shoulder. Donald rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head. "Come on,
let's get inside."

We followed dad inside and were
immediately met by Millie, who fawned over the kids.

"They have gotten so big." She
smiled and kissed each of their cheeks.

Donald helped me set out a blanket and
toys for the kids so Phoebe and I could get the rest of the luggage out of the
car.

After taking everything into my old room
and setting up the playpen, I returned downstairs to sit with my family. Phoebe
and I made dinner while my dad tried to teach the twins about baseball. Millie
would laugh every so often at Donald. Phoebe kept giggling when she would
overhear the twins babbling after Donald would speak.

The twins could say a few words, but were
mostly babbling like crazy and making noises. It was adorable.

Phoebe left a couple of days later and
my only true distractions were the kids. Aidan had called me repeatedly but I
still couldn't bring myself to talk to him yet. I called Viola once to tell her
that we were in Winter Harbor with my dad and that we were fine. She begged me
to call Aidan, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. It was all still too
fresh. I felt like someone had reached into my chest and pulled my heart from
behind my ribcage.

Week one in Winter Harbor was dedicated
to taking the twins around as much as I could in the weather. We went to the
small ice cream parlor, the pizza place and the diner. There were a couple of
new additions to the town. There was a McDonald's now, with an indoor play
area, so I took them there. A daycare offering ‘Mommy and Me’ playdates had
also opened, we took full advantage.

Week two and I still remained as focused
on Livy and Walsh as ever. I didn't want to think about Aidan. I had sent him
exactly one text while we had been here, stating that I was ok. He had text
back that he was coming to talk to me and I told him not to come. I hadn't
heard from him since and was thankful.

I had explained everything to my dad one
late night after he overheard me during my ritual of crying alone in the shower
before bed. He had yelled for me to come down to the couch in the living room
and proceeded to hug me tightly as I sobbed and talked. It was very unlike
Donald to take emotions on so forwardly, he usually avoided tears.

Three and a half weeks of being in
Winter Harbor, my dad approached me one more time about Aidan.

"Lilli?" He yelled up to me as
I was heading to the shower.

"Yeah, Dad?" I asked in a flat
tone.

"Come here, please."

I walked down the steps and came face to
face with Donald and Sarah.

"W-what..?"

"Please sit, baby." My mother
said as she patted the cushion between her and my father.

I furrowed my brow and slouched down
into the couch.

"Lilli, I've watched you mope
around this house for the past three weeks..."

"I am not..."

"Let your father finish."

I huffed. I could not believe they were teaming
up on me.

"You have been moping. Now, I
understand why, but I need to say this. After I say my piece, I won’t bring it
up again."

I nodded and he continued.

"Lilli, anyone who has seen the way
Aidan looks at you knows that he loves you deeply and passionately."

"But—"

"Don't interrupt." My mother
cut me off again.

"I am not saying that Aidan didn't
make a mistake. Hell, I'm not saying that I even understand what the hell
happened that night, regardless...I believe that, at the most, it was a
mistake. A lousy mistake, but still a mistake." He took a deep breath.
"Although, I really feel that something stinks about this whole situation.
I wasn’t there, but it just doesn’t feel right."

"Baby..." Now it was my
mother's turn, "I saw Aidan's face as you met him at the altar, the way he
looked at you at your rehearsal dinner, how he was when you gave birth...Jesus,
Lilli, that man is so in love with you. This marriage was the best thing that
happened to you two, even if it was an arrangement."

I looked at her shocked. She smirked.

"I may be flighty but I am not
stupid, baby. I don't know all the details but I've picked up a few things
along the way." She put her arm over my shoulders.

"If you feel that there is nothing
worth fighting for, that this 'incident' is something that you cannot get past
and it's enough to end your marriage, then we support you." My mother
squeezed me.

"But, Lilli, if one mistake, no
matter how big of a mistake it was, can tear apart your marriage, then, perhaps,
it was never love to begin with. If you love that man the way we think that you
do, as much as he loves you, then you need to ask yourself one question."
My father stopped there and sighed.

"What question?" It came out
in a very hushed tone.

"If this 'one situation' is enough
to throw away everything the two of you have.” Donald stated.

"And, if this is the one thing that
you can't forgive, then we will help you." Sarah smiled and held me
tighter.

"I'm going to go take a
shower." I wiped the tears from my eyes and headed toward the stairs.

I could hear my mother and father
whispering rapidly and animatedly. I ignored it as I shut the bathroom door
behind me.

I crouched in the tub as the steam rose
around me from the hot water. First, I cried until it was only water running
over my cheeks instead of tears. Second, I turned off the water, dried and got
dressed. Third, I looked at myself in the mirror.

When I say that I looked at myself, I mean,
I really, really looked at myself. I stared for so long that the image of
myself started to blur.

Aidan hated Loreley, could he possibly
have gotten drunk enough to sleep with her? Was everyone right about Loreley?
Had I been that foolish? Something felt wrong. I knew it that night but the
sight of them, after all of the happiness that I thought that Aidan and I had
going, I just couldn't handle it. If it hadn't been for the twins, I'm sure
that I would have had a mental breakdown from the overload of emotions.

I finally put myself into bed. Lying
awake, I stared into the darkness of my childhood room. Aidan had said he loved
me and I thought…no, I knew he meant it. Every small act and exchange between
us since the moment we met, played like a movie reel in my head. Not in one of
those moments did I ever see Aidan pay attention to another woman. Perhaps, it
could have been out of fear due to the conditions but, even after the marriage
and the children, it was just too...too genuine. He couldn't be that good of an
actor, could he? Sighing heavily, I rolled to my left side, curling my left arm
under my head.

Could I walk away from what I have with
Aidan? I looked over to my sleeping children. Guilt suddenly weighed very
heavily on my chest for keeping them separated from their father for so long.

Tossing back over, again, I settled into
a restless sleep.

When I was awoken the next morning by
Walsh yelling 'mumma', it was almost as if my mind had cleared and I knew what
needed to be done. I smiled widely and got up, taking Walsh downstairs for
breakfast.

"Good morning, dear." Millie
smiled as she walked into the kitchen.

"Morning." I smiled and placed
the Cheerios and sliced bananas out on the highchair's tray. "Do you mind
keeping an eye on him while I..."

"Oh, honey, go do what you need to
do." She waved me off before I could finish.

I headed upstairs and grabbed my cell
phone along with a now awake Livy.

"Morning, baby." I kissed her
head. I took Livy downstairs for her breakfast and made some phone calls.

After breakfast, I placed the twins in
the living room with Donald and Sarah while I headed upstairs to pack our things.
We were going home. Well, we were at least going back so that I could finally
talk to Aidan. It was time. The car taking us to the airport arrived around
four in the afternoon. We gave our hugs and kisses goodbye, promising to call
when we landed.

Flying alone with the twins was much
different than with another set of hands. I managed, incredibly relieved that
first class was barely occupied. It was confirmed, Walsh hated to fly. Thank
God for Livy or he would have never settled down.

When we came off the plane, I stopped in
my tracks. Aidan. He looked terrible. He seemed thinner, paler and had deep,
dark circles under his eyes. I took a quick breath and started walking, holding
one twin on each hip.

I couldn't help that part of me wanted
to run and throw my arms around him, while the other part had me feeling sick
to my stomach with anger and confusion. I swallowed the feelings down.

Once we were close, he moved quickly to
us. He seemed to be breathing heavily. I bit my lip and furrowed my brow at
him. He paused about a foot from me.

"I-I...damn it, I couldn't not be
here." He said, sad but firm.

I simply nodded without expression. Then
I headed toward the baggage claim. Aidan quickly kept up with me and, once we
reached baggage, Livy reached out to him.

"Ded." She smiled with
outstretched arms. I smiled down on her. Aidan's face lit up and he immediately
took her into his arms, holding onto her as if she weren't real.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. He
froze and looked at me confused. "For keeping you from them, it wasn't
fair." I swallowed the lump of sobs that wanted to explode from me.

He simply nodded as I turned to look at
the turnstile, waiting for our luggage. Once we were in the car, both kids on
his lap, Aiden broke the silence.

"Are you..." He closed his
eyes, "leaving again?" He breathed heavily.

"I'm not sure." I was still
using a flat tone.

He nodded and blinked his eyes a few
times. Looking out the window, I spoke one last thing.

"We need to talk."

Nothing else was said.

Kimberly, Jay, Rachel, Mrs. White, Peter
and Alex were all in the foyer when we arrived to the house. Warm, but uneasy
smiles were plastered across their faces. Hugs and tears were shared by
everyone.

"Look how big you guys are."
Kimberly cooed to the twins as she took Livy from my arms and then Walsh from
Aidan’s. "I bet you guys would like to see your room." She looked at
me and I nodded.

Mrs. White pulled me into a large hug
and whispered into my ear. "It hasn't been the same without you." She
kissed my cheek before pulling away.

"I've missed you so much."
Rachel cried out as she hugged me.

"Where have you been?" Alex
asked and Rachel blushed while pulling him away with her.