Modern Girl's Guide To Vacation Flings (13 page)

Great. She was stuck in the bathroom with super bitch and her stiletto clad side kick wonder nag. Normally, Beth would have marched out there, tossed a few choice words in their direction, and left, but she wasn't here at her mom's behest. She didn't want to put Matt in the situation where he'd have to defend his fake girlfriend to his brother's real wife. Luckily, the stalls at the resort were equipped with full doors. There was no way for them to know she was there and she'd just wait them out.

Of course, the catty comments didn't stop. They didn't really know Beth, but they had plenty of things to say.

"I don't know what he sees in her?" Kitty said, back to her whining. "I emailed Margo last night. She told me that the rumor was Beth has a string of men in all those places she travels. Can you even imagine?"

"Listen sweetie, you know Matt is just slumming. All guys go through this phase right before they settle down. It's like a rite of passage," Bridget said. "I don't think she could have been any more gauche at lunch. I can't believe she admitted to bathing in the river and sharing a hut with other men. She might as well have advertised she was easy."

"Seriously, and did you see the way she was groping Matt on the dance floor after letting that other guy put his hands all over her? I have no idea why he invited her."

"Don't worry. A girl like that won't keep his attention for long. She's hardly presentable as a girlfriend. She's definitely not wife material."

And didn't that just hit home. That was exactly what Robert thought, wasn't it? Robert was a good man who would want a wife that could provide him and his children a stable home. He needed someone who would be there for him as he grew his medical practice. Bridget was right. Beth, with her globetrotting job and erratic schedule, wasn't wife material.

"When we get home, we'll just have to show him what a great wife you'd make. We already know he's attracted to you. Jason told me all about walking in on you two at our wedding reception."

"Jason swore he wouldn't say anything," Kitty said with a giggle. "We did have a good time. I wish he would have come back to my room though."

"I'm sure he didn't want people to gossip."

"I wouldn't mind a little bit of that gossip. Can I just tell you, for a quiet guy, Matt certainly rocked my world."

"See. You have chemistry. When we get back home, I'm going to take Martha's advice and invite you guys over for brunch. He just needs to see how well you fit into his life," Bridget said. "Tonight should just be family and friends. Beth is practically a stranger. You know I'd ask her to leave, but I'm worried she'd cause a scene. Christ, if I wanted a slutty girl to grope men at this party, I would have invited Heather."

They both laughed at Bridget's dig, and left the bathroom. Beth stayed there for a few seconds processing her emotions. Everything they had said was cruel, but not the worst she'd endured. What was it about money that morphed these women into blood thirsty piranhas? Maybe it was just her and the general "couldn't give a fuck" vibe she gave off?

Beth didn't know, and to be honest she didn't care. For fuck's sake, she was on vacation and shouldn't have to deal with this kind of abuse. Between the senator's dig and their catty remarks, she was done. This was her trip and she wasn't going to spend another minute feeling bad about herself.

Beth had made an appearance, even danced with Matt in front of guests, now it was time for her to leave. She thought about telling Matt, but knew he'd try and talk her into staying. So making sure to stay under the radar, Beth grabbed her bag and exited the reception through a side door.

But she didn't head back to the boat right away. Directing the taxi to the other side of the island, Beth walked along the beach for a while. She may have gotten some funny looks with her long formal dress gathered in her arms and the strappy silver high heels slung over her back, but she continued to walk, letting the water splash her up her ankles and tried to figure out what to do next.

She walked for the longest time, staring out at the crystal clear water. She loved the water. The ocean, in particular, always helped her think. But she barely saw the picturesque view. Her mind was busy trying to figure out why she'd run.

It wasn't like Matt was her real boyfriend. Sure, they had chemistry, and God could the man kiss, but that wasn't a strong enough reason for her to run and hide at those hateful words she'd overheard.

Maybe it wasn't what was said, but the way Matt had looked at her tonight with promise in his eyes, that had her running. There seemed to be more in that look than just the good time she had been looking for. It felt far more real than she was prepared to handle.

The sky was turning dark and she knew she needed to return to the boat and get ready for dinner. But not yet. She needed a few more minutes to herself and she needed to connect with the water. Not even thinking, Beth stepped further into the crashing surf, letting the water wash up over her calves. This was what she'd needed, some time to think. Being near the sea helped. It was ridiculous really, but she could always count on the ebb and flow of the waves to wash away her worries.

She released her hold on the hem of the dress, and let it swirl in the surf around her. The sharp bite of the wind whipped her hair around her face, and Beth let go of all her fear and panic, letting it wash away with the receding tide. She just needed to keep reminding herself that Matt wasn't Robert, and what they had wasn't real.

Finally feeling better, she caught a cab and returned to the boat. She'd deal with Matt tomorrow.

Chapter 7

Modern Girl Tip #15: Accept It for What It Is—It's a fling; a short-term, fleeting love affair. In order to keep your vacation fling fun and stress free, ensure that your expectations are mutual and neither party will expect something more.

By the time she got back to the boat, Beth felt terrible about leaving the way she did. She had let her own insecurities color her actions. But it hadn't been just the harsh words that had scared her off. The family photos and Matt's heartfelt toast had affected her more than she was willing to admit. The man was a true romantic, and that knowledge was reason enough to keep her distance. He deserved better than her. She didn't know anything about love.

The boat had pulled out of port a few hours ago, and she knew he was back on the ship. So instead of enjoying dinner, she was pacing the upper deck of the boat, feeling bad. Deep down, she knew leaving was the wrong choice. However, she still wasn't seeking out Matt to apologize. Beth was hiding and replaying every alternative choice she could have made.

At the very least, she should have let Matt know where she was going. She probably wouldn't have stayed even if he tried to talk her into it, but he deserved some kind of explanation. Knowing Matt, he would have looked for her. And when he was unable to find her, he would have come to the inevitable conclusion that she'd left him.

Instead of being angry, he would likely be worried about her making it back to the ship safe. Or maybe, he'd assume she left with one of the men at her table. After all, wasn't that what she was planning to do with Matt, a man she barely knew? He had every right to assume she was that kind of woman.

Those thoughts, and a thousand others, filled her head.

So now Beth was tucked away on one of the upper decks, drinking Tequila on an empty shuffleboard court. After her fourth shot, she'd abandoned the cup altogether, and was now contemplating the logistics of sleeping on one of the Adirondack chairs for the night. She needed time. The liquid courage wasn't helping. She hadn't quite found the strength to face up to her mistake. Tomorrow would be soon enough. She'd talk to Matt after breakfast tomorrow. Or maybe after lunch. Most definitely before dinner.

"Did I tell you how beautiful you looked at the party? To be honest, I almost thought I'd imagined it. Up here with the moonlight kissing your skin and the breeze in your hair, you look like something out of a dream. I'm still not sure you're real."

The deep timbre of Matt's voice from behind her sent Beth's heart racing. She hadn't expected him to find her out on the deck alone, drinking. He'd surprised her, and the erratic beat had nothing to do with his words, she'd decided. Even though they were the type of words a man whispers in his lover's ear under the cover of dark. They were the words she'd imagined hearing while wrapped around his body.

Banishing that thought, she turned around to catch him leaning against the railing. His tan jacket was slung over his arm and his white dress shirt was unbuttoned, the tie and vest long since abandoned. She wouldn't have believed he could look any better than he had that afternoon, but his state of half dress made her thoughts turn carnal.

"You left without letting me know. I looked all over the resort for you," he said, confirming her suspicions. "When I realize you weren't there, I left early to find you." Matt looked down at the deck and raked a hand through his hair. "Did I do or say something that upset you?"

"Matt…"

"Just give me a hint here, Beth. Because I really like to know what the fuck is going on?" Matt looked straight at her. Gone were the liquid blue-green eyes that made her quiver on the dance floor. In their place were hard emeralds, devoid of warmth. "One minute you were telling me how much you enjoyed dancing with me and maybe we should take it back to the boat. The next you were gone. After I couldn't find you in your room, I started to think you got a better offer, but I can't believe you'd be as calculating and manipulative as the other women I've know."

His words cut deep. And if he'd been trying to hurt her, he'd picked the right thing to say.

"You have every right to be mad. I agreed to go to the reception, but it was a mistake." Beth took another swig of tequila and dropped it back down to the deck, determined to power on. She needed him to understand. "I'm happy to play vacation girlfriend for your family while we're on the boat if that's what you still want, but don't ask me to do anything like that again."

"Like what? It was just a fucking party. Drink, music, a little dancing. And from where I was standing we were having a good time."

"Matt, I'm not that girl. Whoever it is you saw this afternoon at the party wasn't me. Those people. Your friends. I'm not one of them. I'm not ashamed of who I am or the choices I've made in my life. And I won't be made to feel bad about how I choose to live my life." Beth's voice was loud now. All the anger from earlier pour out. It was misplaced, she knew, but at this point she couldn't stop herself. "I'm not a socialite. I build wells and waste water systems in third world countries. I've lived in huts and bathed in a bucket after spending the day sweating in the mud. I'm not ashamed of my body. I'm smart. I'm dedicated. I'm fun. I'm many things, but the one thing I'm not is a girl who'll put on a dress and smile at people who think I'm less of a person just because I'm not like them."

"I'm lost here, Beth. What is this about? Did someone say something to you?"

"Do you ever listen to them talk?" she asked with a sigh and staggered to her feet, the tequila finally catching up with her. "I mean really listen to the things they say. It's like the only way they can feel good about themselves is by shredding your soul."

Defensively, she wrapped her arms around her middle and fought back tears. All the fight was gone now. She was just left with a cold feeling. And she desperately wanted to get back some of the warmth she'd felt in Matt's arms.

"It doesn't matter." In a few steps, Beth crossed the short distance separating them and pressed a hand to his chest. He tensed, and she could feel the frustration radiating from him. "I am sorry. I'm not sorry I left, but should have told you I was leaving," she said softly.

"I don't understand what happened," Matt said, covering her hand, but not removing it. "I feel like I'm in quicksand around you. The ground is always shifting. What's going on here between you and me? What is it you want from me?"

As they stood cloaked in shadows with the moonlight reflecting off the water, Beth wanted this conversation to be over. She ran her free hand up his chest, threaded her fingers through his hair, and pressed into him as their lips met. The tightness she'd felt under her hand melted away and he kissed her back. It was a soft, questioning kiss, not urgent or filled with need like their others. But there was a longing in that kiss. His longing, as well as her own.

"Stay with me tonight," she whispered against his lips.