Modern Sorcery: A Jonathan Shade Novel (29 page)

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

When we reached my car, Kelly and Sharon both tried to get into the front seat.

“Hop in back,” Kelly said.

“Like hell,” Sharon said.
 
“
You
get in back.”

“Ladies,” I said.
 
“Is there a problem?”

“No,” Kelly said.
 
“This silly tart thinks she’s the alpha bitch, but she’s going to get into the backseat like a good little puppy.”

“That little space hardly qualifies as a backseat.
 
Ever heard the term
respect your elders?
”

“You’re
everyone’s
elder, but you look spry enough to get in the back to me.”

“Do you have any idea what I could do to you?” Sharon asked.

“Take your best shot.”

I shook my head.
 
“Kelly?”

She stared daggers at me from across the roof of the car.
 
“Don’t even
think
about giving her the front seat.”

I tossed her the keys.
 
“I have a better solution.
 
I’ll ride in back.
 
You drive.”

Kelly snatched the keys out of the air and gave Sharon a look of superiority that practically shouted,
Ha! I get to drive and you don’t.
 
“Maybe we can draw down next time,” Kelly said with a smug grin.

“I look forward to it.”

I climbed into the backseat with Esther.
 
It was incredibly cramped, but when I bought the car, I had no intention of ever riding back there.
 
I stretched my legs across the seats, which meant they passed through Esther.
 
She maneuvered herself to be seated facing me, with her legs intermingling with mine.
 
She took the opportunity to play a bit of ghostly footsie and winked at me.

“I’ve been wanting to get you into a struggle buggy since I first met you.”

“Behave,” I said.

“Do I have to?”

“You’re such a tease.
 
Would you be this bold if I could actually touch you?”

She gave me a serious look.
 
“Bolder.”

Esther had always been something of a flirt, but she’d been stepping it up since Naomi showed up.
 
I knew Esther liked me, but I didn’t think she
liked
me.
 
Kelly had once told me that Esther had a crush on me.
 
Of course, Kelly took it a step further to knock me down a peg by adding that I was the only guy Esther had been able to talk to in eighty years.
 
Aren’t friends wonderful?

Kelly raced through traffic like Mario Andretti.
 
I tried not to watch because her driving always scared the hell out of me.

“Can’t you go any faster?” Sharon asked.

“Sure,” Kelly said.
 
“Fasten your seat belt.”

“I don’t need one.”

“She was talking to me,” I said.

I suspect that Kelly grinned, but I couldn’t be sure since I couldn’t see her in the mirror.
 
She tromped on the accelerator and roared down the highway.
 
The speedometer pegged at 125, but I knew we were going faster.
 
Traffic cops weren’t high on our list of worries at the moment.

We made it to DGI in one piece and didn’t leave too much carnage in our wake.

Kelly parked near the Starbucks where we could see the DGI building without being visible on their security cameras.
 
We remained in the car while we worked out a plan.

“We need to get Ravenwood to use vast amounts of magic,” Sharon said.
 
“I can think of one thing that will get his attention.”

“You going to give him a lap dance?” Kelly asked.

“Okay,” Sharon said, “I can think of
two
things, but a lap dance won’t get him to use any magic.
 
It would certainly distract him, though.
 
Unless he’s gay.”

“You’d turn Don Juan gay.”

“I swing both ways, darling.
 
Come to my place, and I’ll teach you a few things.”

Kelly looked her up and down.
 
“I’ll admit I’ve always been a little curious, but—”

“We’re here to stop Ravenwood,” I said, slapping the back of the center console, “not get you two laid.”

Sharon shrugged.
 
“Nobody’s ever slept with me and lived anyway.”

“Can we focus on the problem at hand?
 
You said you had an idea.”

“You’re going to think I’m insane.”

“Already there, Sharon.
 
Talk.”

“Show me the Dragon Gate,” she said.

Fifteen minutes later, we stood in the catacombs, staring at the Dragon Gate.
 
The wards struggled to keep the flames at bay.
 
The corridors were a lot brighter due to Sharon’s casting a simple lighting spell.

“So Naomi’s initial plan is the winner?” I asked.
 
“We get Ravenwood down here and toss him into the gate?”

“How would you lure him down here?” Kelly asked.

“I could tell him we’re having a pizza party in his honor.”

“I don’t think they had pizza in his day.”

As we talked, Sharon approached the gate.
 
The flames moved away from her.
 
I held up a finger to Kelly and stepped toward the gate.
 
The flames tried to reach me as I moved closer, but Sharon moved closer to me, and the flames ran away from her.
 
She reached up, took down a ward and tossed it through the gate into the fire.

“What are you doing?” Kelly asked.

“Opening the gate.”

“Isn’t that a bad thing?” I asked.

“I’ve got it under control for now, but yes, it will be a very bad thing in about twenty minutes.”

“But you can stop it, right?” Esther asked.
 
She kept her distance from the gate.

“I don’t know but I think Ravenwood can.”

“You don’t know?”

“That’s right,” she said and tossed another ward into the gate.
 
“I’m not a wizard.
 
I can do a few tricks but nothing major that doesn’t apply to my former office.”

“So you can open this, but you can’t close it.
 
Are you sure this is the way to go?”

“No,” she said.
 
“You have something better?”

“What is this thing exactly?”

“There are a number of gates scattered around the world.
 
According to legend, they lead to an alternate dimension, and it’s where the dragons went when they left your world.”

“Right.
 
What is it really?”

She smiled at me.
 
“Doorways to other worlds.”

“Who built them?”

“Warp slaves, probably.”

“What?”

She took another ward and tossed it into the fire.
 
“I’m not here to give you a dimensional history lesson.
 
I’m going to need all of my concentration to control this until Ravenwood gets here.
 
Understand that when he arrives, I won’t be able to help you with him.
 
I’ll have to make sure nothing comes out of here.”

“Things can come out of there?”

She nodded and tossed another ward into the gate.
 
“That’s why I need to monitor it.
 
The odds of a dimensional army being ready to jump through are rather slim, but there are some creatures that are incredibly patient and will wait by a gate for millennia if necessary.”

“They need to get a life,” I said.
 
“Need some help with the wards?”

“No,” Sharon said and pushed me back.
 
“The fire is drawn to you, Jonathan.
 
It’s not magic, so you will get burned.
 
I’m making good progress here.
 
A few more and I suspect we’ll be triggering alarms upstairs.”

“I think we already triggered it,” Kelly said.

Four wizards clad in business suits approached.
 
One of them took the lead.
 
“What the hell are you doing?”

“Opening the gate, of course,” Sharon said.

“Desist immediately!”
 
His hands started to glow.

“Five-second rule,” I said.

Kelly knew what I meant, and we rushed forward.
 
Kelly decked two wizards while I smacked down the other two before they could pull up their magic enough to use against us.
 
I hit the wizard who had already started summoning his magic, and when he struck the ground, bursts of light shot from his hands and moved dust particles around in little puffs.

Kelly pulled a few zip-ties out of her pocket.
 
I looked a question at her.

“They come in handy more often than you’d expect,” she said as she bound the wizards.

“You know, maybe we should just call Ravenwood down here.
 
With the alarms going off, he might keep sending flunkies.”

“Call him how?” Kelly asked.
 
“There’s no way you can get a cell signal down here.”

“I could pop up and let him see me,” Esther said.

I nodded down the hallway.
 
“That’s all right, Esther.
 
There’s a lab over there.
 
They probably have an intercom or a phone.”

“You just want to rile him up,” Esther said.

I grinned.
 
“I like to play to my strengths.”

I moved down the hall to the room with the smashed crystals.
 
Kelly and Esther followed.
 
Sure enough, there was an intercom on one of the counters.
 
I scanned the buttons.
 
They were numbered but didn’t have names.

“All right, Esther, I’ll take you up on your offer.
 
Pop up and see where Ravenwood is hiding out.”

“Okay,” she said and popped away.
 
She reappeared a few seconds later.

“What’s the good word?” I asked.

“He’s in an office, but it’s a big one.
 
Since he’s standing by the window, I can’t make it to the hallway to see which room he’s in.
 
Sorry.”

“That’s all right.
 
We’ll do this the old-fashioned way.”

I punched a button at random.

“Hello?” I said.

Nothing.

I tried three more buttons before I got a response.

“Who is this?” a woman’s voice said.

“This is the psychic hotline,” I said.
 
“I understand you’re having relationship troubles.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’ve seen the ads for our competitors on late-night television,” I said as if reading from a script.
 
“But rather than have you call us, we figured that since we’re
real
psychics, we’d call you.”

“Is this Trifon?
 
You’re going to get in trouble if Ms. Miller catches you goofing off.”

Kelly nudged me.
 
“Quit playing around,” she said.

“No, this isn’t Trifon,” I said.
 
“This is Jonathan Shade calling for Naomi Miller.
 
Can you put her on the line, please?”

“I don’t want to make waves,” she said.
 
“Ms. Miller has already fired three people.”
 
She lowered her voice.
 
“And when I say ‘fired,’ I mean that in the literal sense.”

“Fine.
 
What button do I push to get her office?”

She didn’t comment on my psychic shortcomings.
 
She simply said, “Thirteen-oh-seven.”

“Thanks,” I said.
 
I turned to Esther.
 
“Can you go up and keep tabs on Ravenwood?
 
Let me know what he does after I talk to him.”

“All right.”
 
She vanished.

I punched the button labeled 1307.

“Candy gram for Ravenwood,” I said.
 
“Candy gram for Ravenwood.”

“Who is this?” Naomi’s voice said.

“The ghost of Christmas Future.”

“Mr. Shade.”

“Got it in one,” I said.
 
“I’m flattered.
 
Listen, we’re having a grand old time down here opening up the Dragon Gate, and we thought we’d invite you to the party.
 
Is your dance card filled?”

“You can’t open the gate, Mr. Shade.
 
You’d die.”

“Good thing I’m not the one opening it, then.”

“Your Sekutar friend can’t open it either.”

“She’s standing beside me right now.
 
Guess you’ll just have to go for curtain number three, which includes an all-expense-paid trip directly to hell, do not pass Go, do not collect two hundred dollars.”

“Your ghost friend is here in my office, so you brought someone else with you.”

“Give the girl a cigar.”

“What is it you people say these days?
 
Fuck off, Mr. Shade.”

“You make it sound so sexy.
 
Have it your way.
 
I’ll just have my friend open the gate, and we’ll see what comes out.
 
Have fun rounding up all the weird critters.
 
I understand it’s a tad more difficult than herding cats.”

I clicked off the intercom.
 
Kelly and I started down the hall to join Sharon when Esther appeared before us.

“He’s sending his torpedoes down.”

“Ravenwood isn’t coming?”

“Nope.”

Sharon turned from the gate with a ward in her hand.
 
“I think I can change his mind.
 
You just have to speak a language he understands.”

She motioned with her hands, and fire shot out of the gate and whipped toward the ceiling.
 
She made a pushing movement skyward, and the fire burst through the rock and blasted upward through the ground floors.”

“Stop!” I said.
 
“There are innocent people working in the offices on the lower floors.”

“All right,” she said and pulled the fire back down.
 
Molten rock dripped to the floor.
 
Chunks splattered on the ground and sent wisps of smoke twirling up.