Authors: Ginger Voight
Tags: #triangle, #series romance, #rubenesque romance, #rocker romance
Within an hour he showed up on her doorstep.
She didn’t answer, so he pushed open the door. “Hol?”
“Bedroom,” she called.
He wore concern on his face when he saw her.
There was something wrong – she wore a panicked look in her eyes
like he’d never seen before. “What’s wrong? Is it the baby?”
She shook her head. “He’s fine,” she said.
“For now.”
Vanni came over to sit next to her on the
bed. “What does that mean?”
“I went to the doctor today,” she said. “I’ve
been bleeding off and on. Today was bad. I was scared.”
Vanni took her hand. She was trembling. “Why
didn’t you call me?”
She shook her head. “I’m so scared of losing
this baby, Vanni. I can’t go through it again. I’d rather die.”
“What’d the doctor say?”
“My placenta has grown over my cervix. It’s
going to cause me to bleed all the way through my third trimester.
It may even cause me to go into pre-term labor.”
He stood and went to her closet. “We’re going
to check you into a hospital,” he said.
“No, the doctor said everything is fine right
now. I’m just on bed rest.”
Vanni returned to the bed. “So I’ll hire you
a nurse. You can’t be here alone. Julian’s working, I’m working.
You need someone to take care of you so you can rest.”
She nodded, tears of relief streaming down
her face. She knew she couldn’t fight him, nor did she really want
to. “Thank you,” she said.
“Of course,” he said as he sat back down and
took her hand in his. “I told you I’d do anything to help.” He
glanced to the nightstand where there was a bottle of water and a
half-eaten apple. “Are you hungry? You want me to make you
something to eat?”
She started to tell him no, but then
reconsidered. “Sure.”
He gave her a big smile before disappearing
into the kitchen. She rested her head against the headboard. All
the worry she’d had seem to fall from her shoulders. Julian would
surely keep things together if there was a paid nurse there to take
care of her. The only thing he cared more about than his drug was
the money to buy more – and that’s how he still regarded her baby.
It was a ticket to everything he wanted.
She could only pray that would be enough to
keep him sane until she could safely deliver her son.
Vanni brought her soup filled with healthy
veggies, which she practically inhaled. She had been so worried all
day she couldn’t eat anything for fear of throwing it back up
again. He laughed as he watched. “Junior’s hungry,” he said as he
reached over to rub her firm, full stomach. She was so tiny it
seemed their baby was taking her over.
Holly nodded. “We could really go for some
ice cream too,” she said with a grin, and Vanni was happy to
comply. He fussed over her to the point she had to beg him to
leave. She wanted him to stay, but it was just too risky. If Julian
returned with Leo, the jig was up. He’d never be able to trust her
again and would leave her to her devices, and who knew how crazed
Julian would be if he got kicked out of the band – again – because
of her selfish choices?
“Okay, I’m leaving,” he said as he bent down
to give her a friendly kiss her on top of the head. He caressed
their son, reassured by the tiny kick he felt in response. He
hadn’t even met this little person yet, but already he had come to
mean just as much to him as his little Bean. He couldn’t wait to
hold him, and he would do whatever he could to keep him safe. Vanni
sent her a stern look. “And next time you call me. No matter what
happens. Okay?”
She nodded. “Thank you, Vanni,” she said
softly as she reached for his hand. She wanted to kiss him again,
but she couldn’t stand being rebuffed as he went back to the woman
he truly loved. There would be time for all that later. They were
bound for life now through this child. It’d never be over, and she
would have to trust that.
The most important thing was keeping her son
safe.
Now safety was only a day away, thanks to
Vanni.
But Julian had other plans. He came home in
worse shape than he left. He was screaming drunk and had taken a
handful of Leo’s favorite pharmaceuticals. He smelled like perfume
and sex, and she could only guess what kind of nefarious
shenanigans they had gotten themselves into.
He flopped on the bed, fully clothed. “You
missed a great party, Hol. Expensive booze, music, lots of skinny,
young party girls who would do whatever they could to get next to
the newest guitarist of Dreaming in Blue. I’m going to be chaffed
in the morning,” he said as he adjusted himself.
“I’m glad you had your fun,” she said.
“Because I’m off limits from now on.”
He laughed. “Look at you, Hol. You’re as big
as a house. There are not enough drugs on the planet earth to get
me high enough to fuck you,” he said.
He intended to hurt her with his words, but
she was coolly unaffected. “Good. Remember that,” she said as she
turned off her light. “Oh, and by the way – Vanni’s going to hire
me a nurse. She’ll be here tomorrow to take care of me.”
“Why?”
“I told you. I went to the doctor. I need bed
rest, so someone has to be here to take care of me.”
He sat up, instantly suspicious. “You mean
like a spy?”
“No, of course not,” she said. “It’ll be a
professional nurse.”
“Don’t be naïve,” he snapped. “You know how
this works. How many times have we bribed people to get information
we want? People are only as loyal as their highest bidder. Call him
and tell him no dice.”
She sighed. She didn’t want to fight, but
when Julian was high his paranoia was unparalleled. “Julian, I need
help.”
“No, you don’t. You need exercise. Look at
you,” he said as he grabbed the fleshy part of her thigh. “I know
you want to think of yourself like a queen, but get over yourself.
Women have been having babies for thousands of years. It ain’t this
hard.”
“It is for me,” she said. “It always has
been.”
He shot off the bed and began to pace. “Oh,
right. Little Miss Victim. You made a career out of that shit,
haven’t you? But you’re selling it to the wrong audience, baby. I
know you better than anyone. I know all your tricks. This is just
another game to get Mr. Wonderful to come running every time you
call. When are you going to get it through your thick skull? He
won’t ever leave her for you. You’re trash, Holly. You always have
been. You always will be.”
She fought the tears. If he saw he was
hurting her, it’d only give him fuel to keep going. “We’ll talk
about this in the morning,” she said. “After you’ve had a chance to
sober up.”
“Fuck you,” he snapped as he disappeared into
the bathroom, no doubt to get even higher.
Her heart pounded as she waited for him to
re-emerge. She had her hand on the knife under her pillow, poised
to strike if he made one wrong move. He lingered so long in the
bathroom she finally dozed – and woke up to find him with his hand
in her hair and his mouth against her ear.
“What the fuck is this?” he said, indicated
the knife in her loose grip.
Before she could grab it he flung it away.
“It was protection,” she said, her heart beating fast in her chest.
Now that he had seen that knife, he considered her the enemy. She
was not only afraid for her baby, she was afraid for her life.
His hand closed around her tiny neck. “From
what?” he growled. “Or should I say, who?”
“I can’t have sex with you, Julian,” she
said. “The doctor said it’ll hurt the baby.”
“Is that right?” he bit out evilly. His hand
slid between their bodies. “You know what I think? I think you’re
lying like you always lie. You want to save yourself for your
perfect Mr. Giovanni. You’re so pathetic,” he said as he pushed his
fingers up inside her, causing her to cry out in pain and fear,
which only spurred him on. “Chasing after him like a puppy too dumb
to know it’s not fucking wanted.”
“Please, Julian,” she begged. “If anything
happens to this baby, it’ll fuck up everything – all our plans,
your future… please…”
When he withdrew his hand he saw the blood on
his fingers, causing him to stumble away. “You can’t do anything
right, you worthless little cunt!” he screamed as he started
trashing the room.
Holly cried as cramps wracked her body. She
had blissfully blacked out by the time he climbed back on the bed
and his weight crashed down on her own.
When she blinked awake, she saw his
unconscious, naked body next to her, covered with her blood. With a
cry she grabbed her belly, which was frighteningly still. Rivers of
blood stained the insides of her thighs.
She stumbled toward the bathroom, grabbing
her cell phone on the way. She was in agonizing pain as she
scrolled through her contact list. She paused as she saw Vanni’s
name, but there was no way to explain any of this to him. He would
never forgive her for all the lies, especially if it cost him his
son.
So she called the only other person who could
help her now. She knew she was selling her soul to the devil, but
she had no choice. “Leo, it’s me.”
They were at a county hospital in east L.A.
by midnight, but by then it was too late. Holly was told her
placenta had ruptured, and as a result the baby had died in the
womb. There was no heartbeat, no movement. Worst of all she’d have
to have a C-section anyway to deliver her dead baby.
By morning she felt like a hollowed-out
shell. She cried until there was nothing left as she watched the
sun rise over the first day she’d live without the baby she’d come
to love. Day in, day out, she’d rub her tummy, reassured by his
kicks and his movement. Now there was nothing there. In fact, she
had never felt so empty; she suspected they must have removed her
heart and soul as well as the son she had so wanted. She called
Vanni just after eight, feigned her brightest tone and told him
that she had decided to hire the nurse herself. She wanted to feel
comfortable with the person who would take care of her. He said he
understood, and once again offered to do anything she, or their
son, needed.
It was as if the knife that had sliced
through her heart twisted. Just the day before he had touched her
stomach and she had felt the connection within their family circle.
It had been a bond to last a lifetime.
Now it was broken.
At least with her it was broken. He still had
that bond with someone else. In a few months he’d still welcome a
healthy child, leaving her once again with absolutely nothing…
always on the outside looking in.
Holly seethed with hatred for Andy. It wasn’t
fair. She got everything she ever wanted, so much so she could toss
people away like garbage when they no longer suited her. She had
done it to Vanni when she ran off with Graham, then did it to
Graham when she went running back to Vanni.
The only reason she wanted Vanni at all was
because Holly did. It was probably why she sneaked off to New York
City, nudging Holly out of the whole thing. She ruined her marriage
by seducing him in the church that he and Holly were to marry. No
doubt she got pregnant on purpose, too. It was the only way to make
someone like Vanni stay with someone like her. She was horrible.
And ugly. And fat.
And totally obsessed with Vanni. He couldn’t
really want her… he was just trapped. If he had a choice, certainly
he would have chosen Holly. She looked better on his arm. She was
ready to do anything to make him happy.
But Andy had forced him to make a choice.
Because of her, Holly had been stuck with Julian, and ultimately
lost her baby.
It was all because of Andy.
Holly touched her tummy, reminded again that
her baby was gone forever. She was truly, truly alone.
For that, Andy Foster would pay.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Los Angeles, California
May 22, 2011
Thanks to the morphine, Holly was able to be
reasonably numb to the C-section birth of her stillborn son. After
her call to Vanni, to circumvent his finding a nurse and coming
back to the apartment that afternoon like he had planned, she
stayed in her painful little bubble in the semi-private room paid
for by the county, where she planned to stay unconscious as much as
possible. But her physical pain was nothing compared to the
emotional devastation she felt every time her hand made its
subconscious journey to her stomach. Just the day before, it had
been a happy habit – to touch and be reassured by the presence of
her child. He would be the one person who would love her
unconditionally, and never expect more from her than what she could
give. He would have honored her and defended her and been there for
her like no other man before him. And with any luck at all he would
have been so gay she’d never have to share him with another
woman.
Historically that had never been a winning
proposition for her.
When she was awake, she directed into her
hostility toward Andy. Leo, who was the only one who knew where she
was and what had happened, was a willing ear to her emotionally
charged rants. He wholeheartedly agreed with her. Andy Foster was a
cancer on all of them that had to be removed.
And he had an idea of how to make that
happen, without it ever coming back to cost them.
After Graham had security cameras installed,
Leo was unable to keep gaslighting Andy without bringing
consequences back onto himself. He’d already paid a big enough
price with his career, he wasn’t about to let that fat whore land
him in prison, too.
But his sadistic mind was already in motion
to get around that little road block. Unlike Holly, who had been
distracted with a pregnancy for the past few months, he had nothing
else to think about except how to eliminate Andy Foster. He knew
that he would have to handle it delicately, or else he’d blow it
all. Vanni wasn’t the same emotional wreck he was when Leo found
him in a Philadelphia bar after the incident with Talia. He was
drunk off his ass because his soul mate dumped him for the boss
man, and Leo recognized immediately he was ripe for the pickin’.
Here was this superstar, a virtual golden egg, and he was as
pliable as raw dough to do whatever Leo had wanted him to do.