Moments Lost and Found (15 page)

 “Well, Stacy, it was very
enjoyable meeting you.” Sam said as she held out her hand. Stacy gave Sam her
fingers in one of those dead fish handshakes that wasn’t a shake at all. Sam
wasn’t sure what to do with her fingers so she just kind of squeezed them.

 “Enjoy the party you two! Hope
to see you around later!” turning to Laurent she said, “Come on, you’re just
going to love my boss!” Laurent looked at Sam, didn’t say a word, and then
turned to leave, following Stacy through the crowd.

Once they were out of earshot, Steve
turned to Sam and said, “Ummm, so, another drink?”

Sam chuckled, “I think I’d need way
more than just one more drink to make this evening go away. In fact, I think I
need to do just that, go.”

 “Right behind you.” Steve
said, leading her through the crowd and out the door. As they were walking out,
Sam made a point not to look for Laurent. She’d seen enough.

When they got outside, the night air
was a refreshing change from the stuffiness of the ballroom, and the relative
quiet of the street, versus the din of cocktail chatter, helped calm Sam as
they waited for the valet to bring their cars around.

 “You going to be ok to drive?”
Steve asked with genuine concern.

 “Are you worried I might start
uncontrollably laughing again and get into an accident?”

 “Stranger things have
happened.” He shrugged.

Sam chuckled, “I think that’s the
understatement of the evening.”

 “So, now what?”

 “You got me, Steve. I guess I
go home and drive myself crazy wondering what the hell just happened?”

 “I could come with you, you
know keep you company if you like.”

 “That’s sweet, but I’ll be
fine. Honest.” They both knew she wouldn’t be, but there wasn’t really anything
else to say or do. Sam’s car pulled up, “Thanks for always having my back,
Steve. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He smiled at her as they hugged and then Sam got
in her car and drove home.

Sam was in bed, desperately trying
to turn her mind off, willing herself to go to sleep, when she heard the garage
door open. She wasn’t sure whether she was happy or mad that he was coming
over. She sure as hell wasn’t going to get out of bed to greet him, that much
she knew. She heard the door open and close and then both Max and Ben’s tails
started wagging.
Traitors
, she thought.

The house was dark, and he came
straight into the bedroom. Sam could see him standing in the doorway as both
dogs came up to greet him. He stood there for a moment, petting them saying,
‘hey guys, good boys’ and the like.

 “I’m going to turn on the
light.” He said. Sam noted he didn’t ask and she didn’t reply. As proper as he
could be, there were plenty of times when he didn’t feign politeness.

When the light came on, Sam propped
herself up in bed. She just looked at him. She wasn’t going to fill the awkward
silence by starting the conversation. Laurent walked around to her side of the
bed and sat on the edge, facing her. He must have shed his jacket and tie in
the car as he was just in his shirt, the first two buttons undone, and sleeves
rolled up.

 “I should have told you I was
speaking there tonight.” He said simply.

 “Yes, you should have. Why
didn’t you?” she asked, not sure she really wanted to know the answer.

“Because I know Stacy. I know how
she can be. Especially after a couple glasses of wine, she can get very, uh,
amorous.” He paused and then added, “And, because I didn’t want to be having
this conversation.”

 “We wouldn’t be having this
conversation if you had told me.”

 “Perhaps.” He took a deep
breath.

 “Why did you come over then?
If you didn’t want to have ‘this’ conversation?”

 “Because I knew I needed to
explain myself.” He said with resignation.

 “The floor’s all yours.”

 “Like Stacy said, I was her
mentor through the Executive Program at ProMedia.” Sam waited for the rest.

 “And if that’s all there were
to it, then we wouldn’t be here right now.”

 “And, our relationship was
more than just mentor / mentee.” He seemed embarrassed to admit.

 “Yeah, that wasn’t obvious.”
She said derisively.

 “Samantha, this is why I react
the way I do when you go out with Mark.” He said, trying to turn the
conversation. Sam was calm up until he said that. Now, she exploded.

 “Laurent, how can you even
compare the two? I never slept with Mark! And he doesn’t gaze adoringly at me,
gushing about all that I taught him! I don’t know if she’s talking about in the
boardroom or in the bedroom! And, I never tried to keep Mark a secret! I tell
you when we’re going out. The fact that you tried to hide this from me, that’s
the worst part of it all. I know we both have pasts, but do you realize how
guilty you look by avoiding telling me you were the keynote speaker? I don’t
know if it’s because you just hoped to avoid this whole situation or because of
something else.”

 “Something else?” he almost
dared her.

 “Do you really want me to spell
it out for you?” Sam shot back. She wasn’t imagining things. She saw the way
they were together, before he realized she was there.

 “I guess you’re going to have
to, Samantha.” So that was it. He was going to make her the bad guy. She
couldn’t believe she was about to ask him if he was planning on sleeping with
her. She started to feel sick to her stomach. After everything they had been
through, and everything that they had shared, Sam never once questioned
Laurent’s faithfulness. Before this, it never even entered her mind. Was she an
idiot for assuming that he would be faithful? No, she knew this man. She knew
how he felt about her. He was becoming more and more loving as their time
together progressed. She knew all of the reasons why she’d never suspect him of
straying. But she couldn’t ignore what she saw, and she couldn’t ignore what he
did, or didn’t do, by not telling her.

If Sam didn’t ask him, then what?
Would she just pretend like this never happened? She knew she couldn’t just
forget it. But if she did ask him, what if she was totally wrong? What if she
were imagining things? She knew how offended he would be. She had no choice.
She had to ask him. She wouldn’t be able to move on if she didn’t.

With the knowledge of what she was
about to ask, Sam’s tone changed completely. In a flat, calm voice, she simply
asked, “Were you planning on sleeping with her?”

 “If that’s what you think,
then I might as well have.” He said with no tone.

 “That’s not an answer. And
that’s not true.” She said calmly even though inside her heart was beating a
mile a minute. She knew that if she unfolded her arms her hands would be
shaking.

 “No, Samantha. I wasn’t.” He
was like ice. His tone, his look, it was the same way he treated her that time
in his office. It was amazing how quickly this man could just turn everything
off.

Sam didn’t know if she really
expected him to admit it even if he had planned on it. “Then why did you try to
keep this from me?”

 “I told you, because I didn’t
want to have to explain myself.”

 “So you have a crystal ball
now? You just knew that I’d react this way?” Sam’s calm tone was gone, she was
back to angry. Laurent’s demeanor didn’t change though. He just sat there with
his arms folded against his chest, as if he were tired of this discussion.

Laurent shrugged and said, “I know
women.”

That was it. That was the last
straw. Sam wasn’t sure he had ever insulted her. But if he was trying to make
an impression with his first insult, he succeeded. So, to him, Sam was the same
as Stacy, was the same as half of the auditorium in there. Wow.

 “I cannot believe you just
said that, that you have the nerve to lump me in the same group as that bimbo?
That you were even attracted to her is,” Sam thought for a moment, and she
realized what it was, “it’s embarrassing.”

 “It was just sex, Samantha.”
He said dismissively, and that this would make everything ok.

 “I’m so relieved.” She said
sarcastically. “Look, Laurent, it doesn’t concern me who you slept with before
me. I get that there are women in your past. I’m not irrational. But keeping
tonight from me,” she paused, “just imagine if I had done the same to you. You
would be furious.” He nodded.

 “You want to know something?
As gorgeous and successful and charming as you are, I assume women are throwing
themselves at you constantly. And up until tonight, it never even crossed my
mind that you might not be faithful. Because you’ve never given me reason to
wonder or worry about it. But tonight, trying to keep this from me, you gave me
reason. I’m not wrong on this Laurent.” All he did was nod.

 “You know, the way you act
when I’m working out with Craig, or when I go out with Mark, or God, even when
a waiter flirts with me
, mon dieu
, Laurent, you go nuts.”

 “I know men, too.” He said
with a lopsided smile as he raised his eyebrows.

 “And you know
me
,
Laurent. Do you really think that I would ever be unfaithful to you?”

He thought for a moment. She
couldn’t believe that his response wasn’t immediate, “I guess I never thought
about it that way.” Sam looked at him, confused, “I never thought about your
roll, I always just saw the men and… I know how men’s minds work. I assume when
Craig sees you in your tight tank top and yoga pants that he’s thinking the
same thing I’m thinking. And on top of it, he’s touching you. And all I can
think is what
I’d
be doing to you if
I
were him.”

 “So, when you get jealous, you
don’t even consider me in the equation? That I have a say?” She realized that
he actually didn’t. Part of her was insulted, but another part was relieved.

 “No, Samantha, I don’t.” he
said flatly.

 “Do you realize how offensive
that is? The notion that women don’t have a say, and that we just blindly go
with whatever man makes a pass at us?”

 “That’s a lot more rational
thought than I’ve ever given it.” His tone was still so even, the fact that he
wasn’t riled was almost as frustrating and unnerving as the conversation
itself.

 “Perhaps because you’re not
thinking with your head up here.” She pointed to her head. And finally the mood
lightened a bit. “Look, Laurent, I understand you’ve never had to explain
yourself to anyone. I get it. But if we’re going to be together, then you’re
going to have to sometimes. All you had to tell me was that you were giving a
speech and the director of events was someone you had a relationship with in
the past and that she might be all over you. I wouldn’t have liked the image,
but at least I would have known what I was walking into.”

 “You’re right.” He admitted.

 “I know.” Sam said, and then
added, “And if you ever want to sleep with someone else, have the courtesy to
just end it with me first.”

 “Samantha, I don’t want to be
with anyone else. More than that, I could never hurt you like that.” He said
with sincerity.

 “I hope not.” She really had
never been in this situation. The thought of him being with anyone else made
her sick to her stomach.

Laurent got up, undressed, and
turned off the light before crawling into bed with Sam. He pulled her into his
arms and they lay there spooning for a bit before he said, “where did that laughter
come from tonight? Did you find something about the evening funny?” he was
stroking her body as she answered.

Sam chuckled, “I have no idea. The
situation was just so ridiculous. I don’t know why I started laughing like
that.” They lay there a little longer then she asked, “you really had a
relationship with that girl?” His hand stopped rubbing her.

Laurent exhaled audibly, “Like I
said, it was just sex. She was, uh, very persistent, and, do you really want to
hear this?”

 “Yeah, actually, I want to understand
how you could be with me and with someone like her.”

 “
Merde
. You really can
be trying at times, Samantha.” He took a deep breath and said, “it was uh,
convenient.”

Sam laughed, “Convenient?”

He couldn’t help but chuckle, “you
said you wanted an explanation. That’s what it was. She came on to me. I wasn’t
involved with anyone at the time. She was, um, willing. She was there.”

Sam shook her head, “Ok, I think
I’ve heard enough.”

 “Samantha, what I have with
you, what we have together… compared with what I did with Stacy, it’s not even
in the same universe.” Sam turned to face him.

 “That’s all I needed to hear.”
She said and then kissed him. “But next time, please tell me. Please don’t
assume you know how I’ll react.”

 “I will,
Cheri
. I am
sorry about tonight.” He stroked her cheek and then said, “I don’t want anyone
else. I don’t think about anyone but you. I can’t imagine ever being with
anyone but you.”

 “Good.” She said softly before
he showed her just how much he meant what he said.