Moments of Julian (18 page)

“
You said bring a date,
right?”

“
Don’t show up without
one!”

I ask her what to wear and get a time
from her. We say our goodbye’s and hang up. I click into my
messages and text Julian.

Feel like going on an
awkward double with an old friend of mine from high school
Saturday?
I type.

Wouldn’t miss it,
he replies.
Attire?

She said dress to
impress.

My favorite. I’ll meet you
at your place.

Can’t wait.

CHAPTER
FOURTEEN

I don’t have time to go shopping for a
new dress, so I end up choosing one I wore for a charity auction
Digit attended last year. It is sleek and simple black with a
plunging line in the back that exposes almost my entire spine. I
curl my hair and secure it to one side, letting the waves cascade
over my left shoulder. A set of violet pumps completes the
outfit.

Just as I finish getting ready,
there’s a knock at the door and I can’t prevent the smile that
spreads on my face. I walk to the door and open it.

Julian is wearing a suit that had to
have been tailored to fit him specifically. I heard once that a
tailored suit is to women what lingerie is to men, and only now do
I realize the truth behind that statement.

I’m having trouble remembering why
exactly it is that I haven’t seen this man naked yet.

“
Are you going to invite
me in or are you just going to stand there stripping me down with
your eyes all night?” Julian says with a coy smile.

“
I think you’re perfectly
fine just where you are right now,” I say, no shame as my eyes run
up and down him.

Moment number six doesn’t get much of
a chance to develop.

Because just then, I see Becky pull up
in a Ford Explorer. She honks twice and waves enthusiastically.
Some guy is sitting in the passenger seat, texting on a cell
phone.

“
This is probably going to
be horrid,” I warn him in a low voice as we walk out the front door
and I set the security system. “And I still have no idea what she
has planned tonight.”

“
Gosh,” Julian says as he
adjusts his tie. I recognize it as one he bought in Toronto. “I
feel like I’m headed off to the prom or something.”

I chuckle and Julian holds a door open
for me. Holding up my dress, I slide in.

“
Sage, as always, you look
amazing and I feel like a schlub,” Becky says, her voice ever
excited.

“
Nonsense, you look
fantastic,” I say with a smile. And she does. Her deep brunette
hair is twisted up elegantly and compliments her deep burgundy
dress.

“
This is Trent, by the
way. We go to the same coffee shop, we went out last week, and I
asked him to come with me tonight,” she says as she starts down the
road.

“
Hey,” he says with a
small smile and a wave from the front seat. The expression on his
face makes me think he’s not exactly thrilled to be here tonight.
But Becky and her enthusiasm and good looks are hard to
deny.

“
This is Julian,” I say. I
feel as if I am constantly introducing him lately. “He’s my…” Which
becomes uncomfortable when I’m not exactly sure what to call
him.

“
I’m hoping to be called
boyfriend someday, but for now I’m okay with the awkward dot, dot,
dot,” Julian says, and he sounds completely unbothered by what
might normally be a tense situation.

“
Oh gosh,” I say, covering
my face so no one can see the blush.

“
Sage McCain!” Becky
squeals, looking over her shoulder at me. “A gorgeous man like that
and you haven’t claimed him yet? What is wrong with
you?!”

“
Well,” I struggle to come
up with something witty and defensive so no one knows how flustered
I feel. “I’ve had to run him past the seven gates of family and
friend hell first. We’re nearly through it, so I’ll update you on
the status when the test is finished.”

Becky laughs and shakes her head.
“That’s Sage for you.”

She then launches into some story that
really doesn’t require anyone’s full attention. Instead I look down
at my hand and smile when Julian slides his fingers through
mine.

I’m totally confused by the time we
get off the freeway in Woodinville. Both our parents still live in
the city, but considering how we’re dressed, I know it isn’t either
of our childhood homes we are headed to.

But it suddenly becomes very clear
when we pull into the parking lot of our old high
school.

I swear and Julian gets a concerned
look on his face. “Becky, what are we doing here?”

She gives me a look like she knows
she’s been caught and fully expected how unhappy I would be. “Look,
I know the last semester of high school was not the greatest for
you, but all our friends have been asking about you. Everyone
really wants to see you. It’s been ten years, Sage. Just look at
you now. You’ve moved on.”

My body has locked up and my hands
have broken into a cold sweat. My eyes are frozen on Becky’s
face.

“
You okay?” Julian says in
a low voice.

Finally, I blink. I take a
small breath, and then another normal one. “Yeah,” I say. I will
not show this side of myself to Julian.
Get a grip on yourself, Sage.
“Yeah.
Fine. Let’s go in.”

Becky still looks like a child who’s
been caught getting into her mother’s makeup, but she gives an
enthusiastic nod and we all climb out of the car. This time I reach
for Julian’s hand and hold it so tight I have to be hurting
him.

There’s a gigantic banner hanging
above the door welcoming us all to our ten year high school
reunion.

“
I thought you didn’t turn
twenty-eight until the fall?” Julian asks as we walk through the
doors. “Shouldn’t your ten year be next year?”

“
I skipped fourth grade,”
I say, trying to make it appear like I’m taking normal breaths and
not hyperventilating.

“
Smart and beautiful,” he
says. I don’t realize I’ve stopped to one side of the hall until
Julian is standing in front of me. He brushes his fingers over my
cheeks and studies my eyes. “You can tell me right now: do you want
to show these people how strong and amazing you are, or do you want
to forget about them and leave? There is no shame in
going.”

For that moment, all the things I’d
rather not be facing right now fade into the background and all
there is is Julian standing in front of me. He’s seen those cracks
in my great wall of Sage and knows those walls are made of painted
Styrofoam in places instead of concrete, but has still called me
strong.

Why have I been pushing perfection
away when it is standing right in front of me?

I wrap my arms around his neck and let
my eyes slide closed as I lean into him.

“
Sage McCain!” someone
squeals and moment number seven is shattered.

I am rushed by a group of three girls
in addition to Becky. Clarissa, Lindsey, and Anna envelop me into a
crushing, puffy dress hug.

Here we all are. Our group from the
hellish days of high school.

“
Come on!” Clarissa says,
taking my hand and pulling me toward the gym. “Everyone here is
filling out these questionnaires and they’re going to be doing
awards in thirty minutes. Ashton’s got a yearbook with the senior
predictions and they’ll be reading them off then too.”

I have no choice but to be dragged
into the gym.

There’s a table right inside with
questions and a box of pens right next to it. Everywhere is decked
out in green and white decorations and through the crowd I even see
a falcon costume darting between people. I have little doubt it is
still Gage Nester inside. An amazing gymnast who took his job as
school mascot very seriously. And everyone actually thought he was
cool. He got the crowd into every event he attended with his
backflips, splits, and general dare-devilry.

“
Please fill out one of
the forms and turn it into me when you are done,” the girl at the
table says. I don’t recognize her, which isn’t a surprise
considering there were over four hundred people in our graduating
class.

I grab a sheet and a pen and turn to
find Julian waiting behind me. I give a smile and shake my head as
we walk toward the back wall. “This is ridiculous,” I say as I scan
the sheet. “If I had known Becky was going to drag me to a reunion,
I never would have come.”

“
I don’t blame you,”
Julian says as he observes the crowd. “I avoided phone calls from
members of my graduating class the year of my ten like the
plague.”

“
So you didn’t make the
trip back to New Mexico then?”

“
No way,” he says with a
shake of his head. He has a haunted look on his face but not in a
serious way.

“
Okay,” I say, turning
back to the page. “What do these people want to know about me these
days?”

“
How about you let me fill
it out?” Julian says, taking the paper and pen. “It’ll be more
entertaining that way.”

I chuckle and lean against the cool
brick wall. “Fine.”

“
Name: Sage McCain,” he
scrawls down, lying the paper flat against the wall and trying to
write legibly. “Relationship status. Uh,” he taps the pen against
his bottom lip for a moment. “Hopefully to be determined after
tonight.”

Now I’m actually feeling
bad.

“
Question two: If married,
did you marry someone from Woodinville High School? I’m really
hoping this is not applicable,” he says, looking over at me with
mock doubt in his eyes. “I mean, I never actually asked if you were
married.”

“
And if I was?” I ask,
raising an eyebrow at him. “What would you do then?”

“
Cry for the rest of
eternity,” he says casually as he checks N/A. “Question three:
Level of education obtained. I know you’re a Husky. Four year
program?”

I nod with a smile. “What about you? I
never asked.”

“
Two years at New Mexico
State. I got bored and dropped out.”

“
Oh,” I say with a
chuckle. I never would have guessed. Julian is intelligent,
sophisticated. Not who I normally think of as a college drop
out.

“
Okay. Next question:
Career. Very important client ass kisser.”

“
Julian!” I gape, reaching
for the pen.

“
Kidding! Kidding!” he
says, holding it out of my reach. “I put next CEO of Digit
Securities.”

I glower at him, but it does make me
smile.

“
Next: Do you think you’re
the richest person in our class? Care to share how much you make?
Wow, these are digging questions.”

“
No kidding,” I say,
feeling disgusted. I am proud of my money, but in general I like to
keep it to myself.

“
But seriously, do you
think anyone in this room makes more than you?” Julian says. The
way he says it isn’t in a demeaning way. There’s pride in his
voice, respect.

I scan the room. There are the jocks
that don’t look like they’ve amounted to more than gaining a beer
belly. There’s the stepford wife looking cheerleaders. There’s the
nerds and the drama divas.

I am extremely judgmental, but when
the shoe fits…

“
Your silence confirms
your doubt,” Julian says, a small smile cocking on his
lips.

“
Next question,” I say,
shaking my head.

“
How does your life
compare now, with what you saw for your future ten years ago?”
Julian reads the question and then looks up at me
expectantly.

My throat closes up for a second and I
try to swallow but can’t. That cold sweat has refreshed on my
hands.

“
It’s a hell of a lot
better now than it was then.”

Julian’s expression darkens and I see
a similar look cross his eyes that I’ve seen in my brothers.
Protective anger.

His fingers crumple around the paper
and he tosses it into a trash can.

“
How about a drink?”
Julian asks as he holds his arm out for me. “Non-alcoholic that
is.” Holding my head high, I slide my arm through his and follow
him through the crowd.

People talk and I smile and we catch
up and sometimes I actually care about what people are doing these
days and sometimes I don’t. Almost no one knows what Digit even is
so when I tell them what I do, it has zero significance to them.
But for tonight, I don’t really care. After this night, I will
never see more than two or three of these people ever
again.

Julian genuinely seems to be having a
good time introducing himself as my dot, dot, dot. All the single
ladies I talk to eye him up and down, and my already inflated ego
swells knowing he’s here with me.

Stories abound about me and my friends
in high school. Trips to the beach, pep rallies, Friday night
football games, the crushes my friends had on Drake. Sleepovers at
one or another’s house.