Monday the Rabbi Took Off (34 page)

Stedman laughed. “That was shrewd of you. Bet, but it wasn’t a girl; it was Roy. I thought we’d come here for a week or so; but Laura met the plane at Kennedy, and Roy decided to go home with her first.”

“Oh, I would have loved to have him down for a while. You know how I feel about him, Dan.”

“Well, he’s your only nephew –”

“When you have no children of your own, a nephew becomes something more than a nephew, even more than an only nephew.”

“Well, he’ll come down for a nice long visit after he gets settled.” he promised.

“That’s wonderful. He must have worked hard to get through so early. He’s taken his exams already?”

“Well no.” said Dan. “There was some mixup –”

“He’s all right, isn’t he?” she asked quickly. “He didn’t get ill or anything?”

“Oh, no. He’s fine. I’ll tell you all about it when we get home. No sense in my having to repeat it to Hugo. How is he, by the way?”

She would have preferred to talk further about her nephew, but she knew her brother and knew he was not to be drawn. “Well, Hugo is in good health. He’s always in good health.” she added, “but he can be very aggravating at times.”

Although she was intensely loyal to her husband, she was not blind to his faults, and although she would never mention them to an outsider, she did not hesitate to admit them to her brother, who was. after all. family and hence in a sense even closer than spouse.

“It’s hard to be married to a rabbi; they’re home so much of the time. They’re around and underfoot. And then you never can tell when they’re going to have to run off to some special meeting, maybe to substitute for a speaker that didn’t show up. So you prepare a nice dinner and plan on going to a movie afterward, and there you are eating alone and watching TV afterward instead. Or it might be some youngster who is in trouble, or thinks he’s in trouble, and has come to talk about it. And of course, it has to be right then and there because otherwise he’ll run away from home or commit suicide or elope with someone quite unsuitable, and you sit and wait while the dinner gets spoiled, wondering whether to go ahead and eat by yourself or wait while you listen to the murmur of voices in the study and try to guess from the sound whether they’re finishing up or will go on for a while.”

Stedman laughed. “But surely you ought to be used to that by now.”

“Some things you never get used to. When the roast is overdone, it doesn’t help to remember that it was overdone last week too. But what I was going to say is that all that is nothing compared to living with a rabbi who is not actually holding a pulpit. When Hugo retired, he was full of ambition; he was going to edit his sermons and publish them in book form; then another book was going to be worked up from his notes on counseling; and another was a book on the Jewish holidays. He was full of ambition, full of the wonderful things he was going to do now that he finally had the necessary time. He had his typewriter overhauled and he laid in a supply of paper and carbons and an extra typewriter ribbon and a special kind of paper that made it unnecessary to erase if you made a mistake. And for just three days he went to his study right after breakfast and stayed there for a couple of hours. Then the next day he decided to take a walk first. I went into his study, not to spy. you understand, just to clean up and dust. And all there was were a few sheets of paper on which he had typed things like ‘the quick brown fox1 and ‘Four score and seven years ago’ – that kind of thing.”

“Well, sometimes it’s a little hard to get started.”

“He never did get started. Dan.” she said softly.

“I suppose all people who retire have to take a little time to adjust.”

“But it’s much worse for a rabbi.” she insisted. “There is so much that he can’t do. He has a certain image in the community that he has to live up to. Other people, when they retire, can play golf every day and cards every evening. They can go to the movies or read detective stories. But a rabbi is supposed to be on a higher plane; at least he thinks he is. It’s all right to play golf occasionally, but if he’s seen on the links every day, people will begin to wonder. We used to walk over to the library because it was a mile or so away from our house. It was a good distance for a nice brisk walk, and it gave us a destination of sorts. And we’d walk along the shelves and look at the books and every now and then he would point to a detective story and ask me to take it out on my card. The poor man didn’t want the librarian to know he was reading something light. He’d take out books on sociology and comparative religion, that sort of thing, on his own card. But it was the books he had me take out that he read.”

Her brother laughed. “What difference did it make to you what he read? It kept him busy, didn’t it?”

“Oh, I didn’t mind that,” she said. “I just mentioned it to show you that it is different for a rabbi. But he couldn’t read all day long. As a matter of fact. Hugo never was much of a reader. It was just that having nothing to do, the poor man would follow me around all day long. When I was making the beds, he was right there. And when I was in the kitchen, he was there, offering to do things, ready to hand me things I didn’t want. You know, a woman develops a certain rhythm in her work. If she’s used to walking over to the cabinet to get the pepper, it doesn’t help her when she finds it at her elbow. It throws her off. I tell you. if this job hadn’t come along. I would have gone out of my mind.”

“But it did come along.” Dan said.

“Yes, and it’s really very pleasant here. And Hugo is very well liked by the congregation. As for the board, they just can’t do enough to show how much they appreciate his coming. And Hugo loves it here, a lot better than his old congregation where he spent thirty years. He’s had no quarrel with the board since he’s come; everything is completely agreeable. From that point of view it’s the easiest job he’s ever had. And it’s not as though he’s an old man, you know. I mean, a rabbi at sixty-five is really at the height of his powers. After all. he doesn’t dig ditches. And then he has all his old sermons that he can give, and of course, they’re new to these people.”

“But then it’s only temporary.11 Stedman observed.

“Well, it needn’t be. If Hugo weren’t so indecisive about things and downright impractical, he could stay on here as long as he liked. I’m sure he’ll discuss it with you. I’ve been talking to him, and I think I’ve about convinced him!”

She flashed her turn signal and made the corner. “This is our street.” She brought the car to a halt at the curb, and simultaneously Rabbi Deutch appeared on the veranda to wave to them.

When Dan got out of the car, he was greeted effusively by his brother-in-law.

“It’s good to see you. Dan. You’re going to stay with us for a while, aren’t you? Here, let me take your bag.” Over his brother-in-law’s protest he grabbed the larger of the two bags Dan had unloaded on the sidewalk and headed for the house.

“Life here must agree with him.” said Dan to his sister. “Hugo seems a lot peppier, a lot more vital somehow than when I last saw him.”

“Oh, he is. It’s this new job here. He’s really enjoying it. You must help me persuade him to stay on.”

Stedman looked at his sister and pursed his lips. “We’ll talk about it.” he said enigmatically.

It had been agreed between them that Raymond was to do the talking, not only because he was the president, but because he was a lawyer and was presumably smoother in negotiations.

“You tend to jump the gun. Marty. With high-class people like the Deutches you have to be easy and relaxed. You knowit’s not like a couple who lost the rent money at the races and come to you for a loan.”

“All right, all right, so you do the talking, but get that contract signed tonight.”

“You keep saying we should get it signed tonight, but as far as I’m concerned if he just says he’ll stay, I don’t mind when he signs the contract. For all I know he might want to have his lawyer look it over –”

“Yeah? Well, let me tell you. Bert, so long as we don’t have his signature on paper, we got nothing. I know he’s a high-class guy, and maybe his word is as good as his bond, but me. I’ve been in too many deals where everybody agrees and shakes hands and then later they say you misunderstood them or conditions had changed. You think we’re the only ones who are after him? Maybe we are, and then again, maybe after he’d been here a couple of weeks and decided he liked working better than loafing, he sent some letters out to congregations where the rabbis were going on sabbatical, saying, ‘I have been informed that your spiritual leader. Rabbi Zilch, will be absent on a sabbatical leave, ta-da, ta-da, ta-da… so I would like to inform you that I am willing to consider helping you out – ta-da. ta-da. ta-da. Yours truly, Hugo Deutch, Rabbi-Emeritus.’ “

“C’mon, Marty!”

“Believe me, it wouldn’t surprise me. Look, he was retired for only a few months. Right? And we came along and offered him a job. Right? Now why did he take it if he was retired? I can see where he might to help out some rabbi pal of his who got sick or wanted to go on sabbatical. But he didn’t know Small. So I’ll tell you why he took it. It was because he was tired of sitting around on his rabbinical fanny doing nothing. Retirement ain’t everybody’s dish of tea. you know. But he knows the job is only for three months. So if he liked being back in harness again, wouldn’t he start contacting other congregations?”

“Well –”

“So that’s why I want his signature on a contract. Besides, when Small comes home, and it’s only a few days now, he’s going to act like he went away on an ordinary vacation and is back now ready to go to work.”

“So we tell him we figured he resigned and we made other plans.”

Marty Drexler shook his head vehemently. “Unh-unh. It’s my opinion Rabbi Deutch would bow out immediately.”

“So how does it change things if w have Rabbi Deutch’s signature on a contract?”

“Then he’s committed, and he can’t back out. So it would be Rabbi Small who would bow out.”

“How do you know he wouldn’t make a fight for it?”

“Because he’s a proud bastard and wouldn’t give us the satisfaction of admitting he’d been kicked out. He’d act like he wasn’t planning to come back anyway.”

“I seem to recall he’s fought for his job in the past. There were a couple of times –”

“No. Bert, those times were different. There was some special principle he was fighting for. not just his job. You trust old Marty. You want Rabbi Deutch? Get his signature on the contract.”

Nevertheless, in spite of the sense of urgency that Marty Drexler had inspired in him, when they arrived at the Deutch home and were seated in the living room with the rabbi and his wife. Bert Raymond employed the easy, relaxed approach he preferred. He talked about the weather and how nice Barnard’s Crossing was in the summer. He inquired about Mrs. Deutch’s famous brother and what news he had brought back from Israel. It was only when he noticed that Marty was getting restive that he said. “We came over to finalize the matter we discussed last week. Rabbi.”

“You have heard from Rabbi Small?” asked Rabbi Deutch. “Well, no, Rabbi, not directly.”

“So you don’t know his attitude in regard to the position here.”

“Well, not in so many words, but I’m sure he’s not interested. I mean, from the whole history of our negotiations with him, the board feels that he is not interested in coming back. We want to make sure we have a continuity, so we’d like to get this matter settled tonight by getting your signature on a contract.”

“But Rabbi Small is likely to be home in a few days. Surely we can wait until he arrives before settling the matter.”

At this point. Marty Drexler’s patience gave out. “Look here. Rabbi. I’m a businessman, and I don’t like to pussyfoot about a deal like Bert here. That’s the legal mind at work. I’ll put it to you straight. We don’t want a fight in the congregation. We don’t want people taking sides and arguing the pros and cons of which rabbi is better. Personally, I don’t think that’s dignified.” he said virtuously. “Now. if you want to stay, we have a contract right here. You sign it, and that’s the end of it. We’re pretty sure Rabbi Small wouldn’t argue about it. not if he’s faced with what Bert here calls a. fait accompli. See? We sign the contract right here and now and everything is hunky-dory. We wait until Rabbi Small arrives, and there’s a hassle.”

Rabbi Deutch nodded his head slowly. “I see.” he said, and he spoke in his normal rather than in his pulpit voice. “Well, when Rabbi Small comes home. I will talk to him. If he says flatly that he does not want the job and that he had no intention of returning to it. I will then sign your contract. If he is interested in the position, however, even if your board decides you do not want him and vote him down. I will not be interested in staying on.”

Mrs. Deutch jerked her head in a decisive little nod as a schoolteacher might when a dull pupil answers correctly in the presence of the supervisor.

“But your wife said –” Marty blurted out.

“That’s how I feel about it.” said the rabbi decisively, “and that’s how Mrs. Deutch feels.”

When they had left, the rabbi said to his wife, “I’m glad that’s over. My conscience has been troubling me ever since the idea of staying on came into my mind.”

“I’m afraid I had something to do with it, Hugo,” Mrs. Deutch said ruefully. “But to tell the truth, I really did think that Rabbi Small was not coming back. I mean, not writing to the president –”

“Well, I think I can understand that. He’s quite young, and I think they hurt him. So he wouldn’t write them. Not even a card saying he was having a good time.”

“I suppose so.” She hesitated. “Of course after what Dan told us he did for Roy; it was impossible for you to decide anything else. But I don’t mind admitting. Hugo, that I’m sorry. I really enjoyed our few months here –”

“Well, I’ve been thinking about it, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve enjoyed being here not because it’s this particular temple or congregation, but because it was new to us. And being temporary, everyone treated us exceptionally well.”

“That’s true, I suppose –”

“But don’t you see, Betty?” he went on eagerly. “The trick is to be a guest. If I had accepted the appointment, that would have been over.”