Monkey Business (20 page)

‘There was a monkey!'

He sighed, looking up, and stretched his back.

Daylight didn't come easily to this place. I squinted into the treetops to see what else was up there, hearing movement but not seeing anything. I moved away from the tree in case the monkey jumped on me. Or did something else on me.

Kitty was propped on the same root, leaning against the tree. Asleep by the look of it, though I don't know how she could have slept through my noisy performance. I felt a twang of compassion. She looked so tiny there. And vulnerable. I wondered if things had crawled on her in the night. She probably would have liked it.

Jack and Joe were talking quietly.

I patted down my sticky-out hair. Kitty woke and yawned. She stretched out her limbs and smiled at me. I tried to feel angry with her, but the anger was gone. I found myself smiling back.

Joe disappeared and Jack emptied the contents of my bag onto the ground. He tossed the water bottle to Kitty and she drank from it.

‘What are you doing?' I said to him.

‘Seeing what we've got that we can use.'

There was a small box of tampons. He opened the box and seemed to be counting. I wasn't sure how etiquette and good manners were supposed to work in survival situations. Maybe I shouldn't be getting snippy about privacy and women's handbags here, now?

Joe appeared with two long pieces of bamboo. Jack put my bag aside and started whittling the bamboo with the knife to make spears. This made me think of food. I wondered if there were any berries left. Or coconuts. My stomach rumbled and I looked up in the trees. I hadn't been able to even consider food since watching the grub-eating.

Joe had disappeared again and Kitty went with him. Jack sat with his knife and the bamboo.

‘Are you going to talk to me?' I said, and he looked at me. There was a tiny glimmer of warmth in his eyes. Really tiny.

‘What about?' Our eyes held for a few seconds. He resumed his whittling in silence.

I needed the toilet, preferably one that was a long way from everyone else. I walked to the edge of the clearing.

‘Where are you going?' he said, without looking up.

‘The toilet, obviously. We can't all just pee on a tree, you know.'

‘Don't go too far.'

But I
did
go too far because I didn't want any noises or smells wafting back to our camp, and I realised my mistake when I was zipping up Catwoman and glanced up to see what was making the grunting noise nearby. A boar stood only a few metres away. It had tusks. Nasty, pointy ones. And I thought it could probably outrun me. I could feel a wail building in my throat. The boar pawed the ground, lowered its head, snorting.

I backed away.

The boar charged.

Something whizzed past my head as I turned to run and I saw Jack standing there, legs astride. I clawed at him, trying to climb his body, and he clamped his hand over my mouth, said, ‘Ssh!'

He set me aside, pulling the knife out of its sheath. The boar was making a hell of a racket with Jack's spear in it. I turned away, hands over my ears and eyes squeezed shut. Poor thing.

A minute later Jack strode past me carrying his spear and the dead creature slung over his shoulder. I followed him back to our campsite, checking behind me every two seconds. He let the boar drop.

I noticed a solitary tampon on the ground. I picked it up, said, ‘What did you do with the box?'

‘Didn't touch it.' He looked around, and up in the trees. ‘The monkeys are thieving bastards.'

I peered up, searching. The light created pale shapes in the canopy, but it was still dark up there. I could hear rather than see movement in the trees.

‘Are they vicious? The monkeys?' I shivered, no longer liking this survival business. Like I'd ever liked it anyway.

‘No. Just annoying.' He looked at me then as though I reminded him of the monkeys. ‘Did you need them?'

‘The tampons? No. Well, not unless we're still here in a few days.'

He nodded and I suddenly had high hopes about his reason for asking. In fact, my curiosity burned and I couldn't help saying, with fluttering eyelashes, ‘Why did you want to know?'

‘Know what?'

‘If I need the tampons.'

‘Because I'm concerned about your personal needs, Erica. Don't get excited.'

‘Excited?' I squeaked. ‘God, you . . . bloody . . . arrogant . . .'

But he moved into the trees, ignoring me, and I hated him again.

I stomped around in circles for a minute, but all the rustling sounds made me feel nervous and that killed my anger. So instead of stomping I moved cautiously, peering into the jungle. Jack reappeared with a coconut. He drilled a hole in it with his knife and handed it to me. At last, something that resembled real food. Food you can get in the supermarket. I drank.

‘Where's Joe?' I said.

‘Hunting up breakfast.'

‘Oh. Can I do something?'

‘Not unless you know how to skin a boar.'

I poked my tongue at him and he pulled off his camouflage shirt and T-shirt. ‘I'm going for a wash,' he said.

‘A wash? Where?'

But of course he ignored me as he strode off into the jungle again.

I sat and looked around. Piggy was watching me. I covered its face with a palm frond. I wondered where Joe was, and was amused when I thought about the fact that he has to organise breakfast for Jack in Melbourne as well. I heard more rustling in the trees and I jumped up, squinting into the darkness. Maybe the monkeys could be vicious if they wanted something enough. And there might be other boars and various critters around. And maybe even human critters, who were scarier than any other life forms in Saint Sebastian. I took the empty water bottle and went looking for Jack.

I found Kitty first. She was watching Jack, who seemed to be naked, standing with his back to us in the middle of the gently bubbling brook, just like the one in
Bambi
, scrubbing his body with his fingers.

Jack's boots were there and his other clothes were folded neatly on the ground next to the spear, which had a small crayfish stuck on the end of it. The water was quite a bit deeper than a brook, actually; deep enough to cover his lower region. I stood at the water's edge, admiring him, remembering my jungle dream and the naked water scene – before the crocodile part – which looked remarkably like this one. Except in my dream, and all related fantasies, Jack was very, very nice to me.

Kitty started wriggling out of her dress. I put a hand on her arm. ‘Unless you want that spear through your heart, you'll leave right now.'

She stared at me, trying to determine if I meant it. Sure I meant it. I was in survival mode.

Jack was now watching us. Kitty gave him a long look, sighed a huge sigh, turned and left.

Jack gazed at me and I returned it. Except for the moment or two when my eyes wandered low to where the waterline sat just below his navel. I watched him, wondering what he was thinking. He stood motionless, watching me.

He crooked his finger. ‘Come here.'

I looked up and down the creek, along the banks, and at the cray on Jack's spear. I shook my head. ‘I don't think so.' He was very tempting though, with his gleaming torso, now much cleaner. Yes, he was beautiful in all his naked glory. And yes, he was thinner, but it suited him. His muscles were even more pronounced.

‘I want to wash that stinking perfume off you,' he said.

I crossed my arms, lifted my chin. ‘You're not being nice and I don't like you.'

‘I know.' He beckoned again. ‘But come here anyway.'

I hesitated, looking for excuses, when all I really wanted to do was dive on him. ‘There might be piranha.'

He shook his head slowly.

‘Crocodiles?'

‘Then you shouldn't be standing there.'

I looked around in case there was a crocodile, and when I turned back, Jack was wading slowly towards me. The water grew shallower, revealing more of him with every step.

‘What the hell.' I stripped off all my clothes in two seconds flat. I splashed into the water not caring about the sub-zero temperature. When I was close, Jack reached for my hand and pulled me gently into deeper water. We stood gazing at each other as he washed my shoulders, lightly running his hands down my back and my arms. I shivered, but not from the cold.

‘Whatever possessed you to come here?' he said softly. ‘I can only assume it was some kind of temporary insanity.'

‘You left without saying goodbye.'

He was still for a moment, staring into my face, his hands on my arms.

‘Look,' I said, ‘I came to rescue you because no one else would.'

‘It's not your place to make that call.'

‘And it's not your place to tell me I can't. It's my life, Jack. I'll do what I like with it, and I chose to come here, so suck it up.'

He stood a bit taller, stiffer, wanting to remind me who was in charge. Captain or Major or Colonel Jones, whatever he was. But his shoulders drooped as he shook his head. ‘I just can't get past the danger you've put yourself in.'

‘Danger schmanger.'

He pursed his lips, exasperated.

Looking into his face, a face I'd thought I might never see again, I felt suddenly shy. My heart was filling with a sentiment I didn't really understand. Love, I suppose; a kind of love I'd never known before, and then I remembered telling Jack that I loved him. I dropped my gaze and pretended to look for things in his chest hair, like monkeys do, but he put a finger under my chin, tilting my face up, forcing me to look at him.

‘I didn't mean what I said,' I lied, blushing and hot despite the icy water. ‘The night before you left. I didn't mean it, not like that. I was drunk.'

He smiled. ‘You were shitfaced.'

‘Is that why . . . is that why you didn't say goodbye? Because of what I said?'

‘I told you I was leaving the next day.'

‘You didn't!'

‘I did. When I was tucking you into bed.'

‘Oh.' I let that knowledge sink in. So he hadn't just run away without a word. ‘You could've sent me a text.'

‘No phones on this mission.'

‘But Joe called me.'

He shrugged. ‘Used someone else's, I suppose.'

I wanted to suggest that Jack could have called me from someone else's phone too, but I let it go. Standing there naked in a creek, living out one of my fantasies, I decided there could be a better time to bring it up.

I went to say something else but he shushed me with a finger to my lips, said, ‘If we make it out of here alive —'

‘Yes?'

He blew out his breath, mouth still tight.

I said, ‘Do you like my hair?'

‘No.' He pulled me close, arm around my waist. He bent his head and breathed deeply.

‘Better,' he whispered and softly kissed my neck, my face.

‘I'm not kissing you,' I said. ‘You ate those disgusting grubs.'

He took my face in his hands and kissed me anyway. ‘Are you taking malaria tablets?'

‘Kate gave me some.'

‘Kate knows?'

‘Yes.'

‘Don't tell Joe.'

He kissed me deeply then and I felt the overwhelming rightness of it, being naked with Jack Jones. Even though he was prickly and didn't taste very nice. But I probably didn't taste very nice either.

I felt a sting on my thigh then, like a mosquito bite, and I stepped back, feeling down my leg. ‘What was that?'

‘Water snake?' he said, with a very small smile.

‘No, it's . . . OMIGOD I'VE GOT A LEECH ON MY LEG!' I thrashed my way back to shore, shot out of the creek and hopped around, flapping my arms as Jack emerged from the water and inspected the tiny black sucker.

I bounced up and down. ‘Yuk, yuk,
yukky
!'

Joe and Kitty appeared from the bushes. Joe said, ‘What happ— Oh.' He turned his back, but Kitty watched on.

‘I've got a leech!'

Jack hissed, ‘Hold still and be quiet.'

‘Get it off. Get it off. GET IT OFF!'

‘Can I do something?' Joe called over his shoulder.

Kitty was staring at Jack, magnificent and naked, and I shouted at her, ‘Stop looking!'

Jack said to Joe, ‘Can you get Erica's bag?'

Joe left. Kitty stayed.

‘Get it off, Jack,
please
get it off.'

‘Be
quiet
, Erica.' He was getting dressed. ‘You'll have to wait. It's hooked on.'

I bounced around with my hands over my eyes so I couldn't see it.

Kitty said, ‘It's all right, Erica. Leeches are very useful.'

I heard Joe say, ‘Here.'

I moved modestly behind Jack, peering at Joe, but he was covering his eyes with one hand and tossing the bag with the other. He left. Kitty was still standing there, smiling.

Jack found my insect repellent and gave the leech a quick, short squirt. It dropped off straightaway.

‘See,' I said. ‘I told you it's insect repellent.'

‘That stuff would repel anything.' He wrinkled his nose. ‘But don't use it again.'

‘Why not?'

‘Your scent, Erica. We don't want to be found by the guys with guns, remember?' He scooped up some water and rubbed where he'd sprayed the perfume, muttering, ‘Although you're making enough noise for the entire population of Sebastian to hear us anyway.'

My leg bled where the leech had attached. Blood poured out in a thin, steady stream.

‘I'm bleeding!'

‘Don't worry, it's normal. It'll stop soon.'

I pressed a tissue onto the wound and got dressed, thinking with regret about what I'd just missed out on because of that stupid leech.

When Jack and I got back to our campsite, Joe and Kitty were munching on thin slices of raw snake. The part they weren't eating was on the ground, guts spilling out of it. Joe tossed a big egg to Jack. He punctured the end of it with the spear and sucked the contents out. Then pulled apart the raw crayfish and handed bits around. The poor dead boar was gone. Ran away in case someone decided to munch on its hindquarters?

‘Where's the boar?' I said.

‘Fish food,' said Joe, who'd been cleaning up Jack's mess, as usual.

On the verge of not coping, I decided to meditate, aiming for an out-of-body experience, which usually never works, but this time it did. Even though I was still there in body, my spirit seemed to have removed itself from the scene and was watching from afar. So calm.

I sat on a rock. Joe tossed me a coconut.

‘What kind of egg was that?' I said, knocking the coconut on the rock between my legs.

Jack gave Joe a quizzical look. ‘Anaconda?' He took my coconut and smashed it apart.

‘There are anacondas here?' my floating spirit asked, interested.

‘It's a croc egg,' said Joe. ‘You want one?'

My out-of-body experience was coming to a close, I could tell. So I thought I should focus on pleasant things as I scraped the coconut flesh with my teeth. Pleasant thoughts. Jack naked. Looking good. And he was being much friendlier now, and that was nice. I thought that if we'd finished what we started in the water, he'd be even friendlier. But those lustful thoughts ended too soon because something hit my shoulder with a fair force. I let out a yelp, jumped up, dropped the coconut. Was it some creature? Jack, Joe and Kitty were searching the treetops.

‘What was that?' I said, looking around.

‘Berries,' said Jack. ‘Monkeys threw them.'

I scanned the trees above before I sat again and picked up the coconut. I hadn't taken another bite when a huge pile of berries rained down on my head. I jumped up again and glared skywards. I could hear screeching now, which sounded like hysterical laughter. And the monkeys weren't the only ones laughing.

I glowered at the boys. ‘Did they throw berries at you?'

Kitty tittered behind her hand.

Joe shook his head, trying hard not to laugh. ‘Sorry, Erica.'

I stood in front of Jack. ‘Swap places?'

‘No way.'

I kicked his shin.

He stood, laughing still, and I sat in his spot. He moved to where I'd been and it was my turn to smirk. We waited, gazing into the treetops. Nothing happened. I focused on the coconut. And then, something dropped right on my head, bounced and landed in my lap. It was one of my tampons. I could feel the anger brewing, and then the rest of the tampons fell like hail around me.

I jumped up, scooped up the tampons and berries and hurled them back into the trees. ‘You stupid, bloody, shitty MONKEYS!'

Jack was trying to tell me to be quiet, but it's hard to do that while wetting your pants laughing. I screeched and chucked stuff that sailed only a few metres into the air before dropping all around us again. So I threw the stuff at the boys and Kitty, yelling at them to stop laughing, and they held up their hands, ducking their heads. Finally Jack stood and held me in a bear hug to stop the onslaught. And the noise.

I blubbered into his chest, ‘Stupid monkeys, stupid jungle, stupid everything!
I hate my hair!
' I cried and cried and Jack's arms were tight around me, but he was shaking with silent laughter. I shoved him and punched his chest. ‘And I hate you!'

He looked a bit surprised at that but pulled me close again and this time murmured in my ear, ‘Sorry.' He stroked my hair and told me it would all be all right and finally, with great shuddering breaths, I calmed down and pushed away, wiping my face and looking around. While I was having my tantrum, Joe had erased our campsite and collected our stuff, including the scattered tampons. We were ready to go.

As we walked – same line-up as before: Jack, Kitty, me, Joe; boys with their spears – a familiar but weirdly out-of-place noise came from my bag. I pulled it off Jack's back, finding my phone at the bottom. And so it seemed that the Universe, which had a fabulous sense of humour and which had worked so hard to get me to Saint Sebastian, had now aligned all its planets in such a way as to ensure I had a mobile phone signal in the jungle when my mother wanted to chat. She wanted to Facetime, and in my speedy move to hang up on her I accidentally answered, and her face loomed large in the screen.

‘Erica! Do I have to be the one who always calls you?'

I glanced at the others, who were gaping at me.

‘Hi, Mum.' I smiled, holding the phone close so she wouldn't see my hair or anything else, Jack and Joe looking like soldiers, for example. ‘Sorry, I've been so busy.'

Jack picked up my bag, shaking his head, and we all kept walking, me at the back now.

‘What
are
you wearing?' she said. ‘It doesn't look very colourful.'

I fixed a smile on my face and gave her a brief glimpse of Catwoman. ‘It's, um, a new style of bathers.'

‘But you're completely covered.'

‘Yes, so I don't get skin cancer.'

Kitty called out, ‘Hello, Mrs Erica Jewell!'

‘Who's that?' said Mum.

‘Oh, just . . .' some hooker ‘a girl we met.'

‘And what have you done to your hair? It looks like you've chopped it all off! I don't expect Jack likes it.'

‘Jack thinks it's nice, Mum.'

‘Where are you now?' she said. ‘Is Jack with you? Are you walking?'

‘Ah, yes, he's here and we've just finished breakfast.' I looked around. ‘We're walking to . . . our bungalow. I mean, Jack's bungalow. And then I'll go to my bungalow. It's very lush here, like a jungle.' I flashed the phone around so she could get a glimpse of the lushness.

‘What part of Bali are you in?'

‘Um, Singapore.'

‘Let me talk to Jack.'

Jack stopped walking, stiff as a rod. He turned, glared at me, disbelieving. But Mum wanted to talk to him and I couldn't think of a single reason why she shouldn't. So I held the phone out, pointing it at the ground. The disbelief deepened – his jaw grew even slacker. He slowly reached out for the phone.

I said, ‘It's Facetime. So you can
see
each other.' Hint, hint, stop scowling, Jack!

He rearranged his expression, took the phone, holding it close, and continued to walk ahead at a much faster pace. I heard him say, ‘Mrs Jewell, you're looking well,' and then just murmuring.

I looked at Joe and shrugged, and again he was trying not to laugh. Joe was having a ball here, surviving in the jungle. When Jack handed back the phone, I was delighted to see that they'd hung up. I was busting to ask what they'd talked about, but I didn't dare.

‘Maybe we could call for help,' I said, checking out my phone. ‘I'm surprised we've got a signal here.'

‘We don't need to make calls, Erica,' said Jack. ‘You've made enough noise for the entire north coast of Australia to hear us.'

I lowered my voice. ‘Well, we could call the local police.'

‘You mean the Chief of Police? Best mate of the bloke who had me strung up in a tree for almost a week?'

‘Are you serious?'

Kitty said, ‘I know him. He is my client.'

Jack said, ‘Turn off the phone.'