Moonlight (3 page)

The other sherpas had all been working in the park at least a year. I should have felt like an outsider, but something about the group made me feel as though I belonged. They weren’t like the cliques at school. I’d never been part of those. I wasn’t the wildly popular, cheerleader type. I wasn’t a total math nerd, either. I wasn’t quite sure I could actually define myself. Maybe that was the reason I was so comfortable out here. Everyone was the same: nature lovers appreciating the great outdoors.

Lucas shoved away from the tree. “We’d better head back.”

“You’re such a party pooper,” Lindsey said.

“You’ll thank me in the morning when you have to be ready to leave at dawn.”

Everyone groaned with the reminder that we had an early morning. The guys put out the fire and flashlights came on.

I thanked everyone. “This was a great birthday surprise.”

“Well, it’s not every day you turn seventeen,” Lindsey said. “We just wanted to do something special before we became preoccupied with surviving.”

I laughed at her teasing. “It won’t be that bad.”

“The Keane party wants to go far into the woods, to an area we’ve never been before. The terrain will be rougher and we’ll be pushed to the limits. Should be challenging,” Brittany said.

Should be
, I thought.

“Don’t worry,” Lindsey said to me. “You’ll do great.”

“I plan to give it my best.”

We headed back up the trail to the rustic village where all the campers began their journey. Rafe was leading the way, with all the other sherpas scattered between him and me—except one. Lucas was following at the back of our group, right behind me. I had that sense of being watched again. A shudder rippled through me.

“What’s wrong?” Lucas asked.

How had he known anything was wrong?

I glanced over my shoulder, feeling silly for saying it aloud. “Just that strange feeling that we’re not alone.”

“Yeah, I’m sensing it, too,” he said, his voice low.

“Could it be those wolves you rescued?”

“I doubt it. The entrance to the park is too near civilization. Most of the wildlife is farther in.”

That was in sync with what Lindsey had said about the cougar, but still—animals weren’t always predictable.

Everyone in our group grew quiet, listening intently as we trudged along. The flashlights served as eerie beacons in the darkness. I was acutely aware of Lucas following closely behind me. Not that I could hear him—his footsteps were silent. But I sensed his nearness as though he were touching me—even though he wasn’t. I felt nervous and excited. I wondered if he thought of me as anything other than the newbie. He’d never given any indication that he actually
liked
me in a romantic kind of way. Or that he was interested in knowing me better. Here we had an opportunity to talk, and yet we both remained silent.

At the far end of the trail, more light began to seep through the tree cover. The lights of the village, the first stop on anyone’s journey into the national park.

I was grateful that everyone picked up the pace. Finally, we broke through the woods into the village.

I released a nervous chuckle. “Please tell me sherpas don’t do a lot of night hiking.”

“Hardly ever,” Rafe said, “but I felt something out there, too.”

“If it was dangerous, it would have attacked,” Connor said. “Probably just a rabbit or something.”

“Whatever it was, it’s gone now,” Lucas said. “And we’re supposed to be in our beds.”

Connor and Rafe headed for their cabin. But Lucas hesitated. Finally he said, “Happy birthday, Kayla.”

“Oh, thanks.” His words were almost as surprising as the party.

He looked as though he wanted to say something else. Instead, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and walked off. I wasn’t quite sure what to make of that.

Lindsey, Brittany, and I went to our cabin. As we were getting ready for bed, I said, “I can’t believe you threw me a surprise party.”

“You should have seen your face,” Lindsey said. “You were totally shocked.”

“I can’t believe you managed to keep it a secret.”

She smiled brightly. “Believe me, it wasn’t easy.”

After we were in bed and the lights were out, Lindsey whispered, “Hey, Kayla? So what did you wish for?”

My cheeks grew warm. “If I tell, it won’t come true.”

I wasn’t really sure I wanted it to come true. I didn’t know what had possessed me to make the wish I had. It haunted me now as I remembered the words that had run through my mind with such conviction.

I wish Lucas would kiss me.

TWO

I was crouched in a tiny, dark place. I was small, a kid. I had my hands pressed against my mouth so I wouldn’t make a sound. I knew that if I made any noise they’d find me. I didn’t want them to find me. Tears ran down my face. I was trembling.

They were out there. Bad things were out there. So I hid in the dark. No one could find me in the dark. No one would find me here.

Then I saw the light, coming closer and closer. The monster grabbed me—

I woke up screaming and flailing my arms. I hit something and screamed again.

“Hey, it’s just me,” Lindsey said.

The lamp on the table beside my bed came on. It was still dark outside. Lindsey was standing between my bed and hers, a look of horror on her face. “What the
hell
?” she asked.

I swiped away my tears. “Sorry, bad dream.”

“No kidding.”

Brittany was sitting up in bed staring at me as if I was the monster that crept through my nightmares. “You sounded like you were being murdered.”

I shook my head. “Not me. My parents. It’s a long story—” I hesitated.

“It’s okay. It’s private. I understand,” Brittany said.

I was relieved by her acceptance of my need not to explain.

Lindsey sat on my bed, took me in her arms, and held me tightly. She knew my story. I’d confessed it all to her during the past year, as our friendship had strengthened.

“Are you going to be okay taking these campers out tomorrow?” Lindsey asked. “We could get out of this, wait for the next group.”

“No.” Shaking my head, I pulled away from her. “I have to face my fears, and going into the wilderness is part of that. I’ll be okay. Tonight . . . I don’t know, maybe it’s because we were creeping through the woods. I haven’t had a nightmare in a while.”

“Just remember that we’re here for you.” She glanced back at Brittany.

Brittany nodded. “Yeah, we are. Sherpas stick together.”

“Thanks.” I released a deep sigh.

Lindsey moved to her bed. “Do you want me to leave the light on?”

“No, I’m fine now.” Or as fine as I could be, considering my issues. The really strange thing was this unexplained fear that I was experiencing lately. It was like a foreshadowing or something—a deep-down sense that something I couldn’t explain was going to happen.

Lindsey turned off the light, and I snuggled beneath the blankets. I wished I understood what was bothering me. My adoptive parents couldn’t explain it. My shrink couldn’t figure it out. But since I’d returned to the national park, whatever it was seemed stronger than before. Part of me wondered if it was somehow tied to what had happened to my parents.

Was something in my subconscious on the verge of breaking free? And if it did, how would my life change?

The next morning when I woke up, the lingering effects of the dream were still haunting me. The unpleasantness of it hung around like cobwebs that couldn’t be brushed off. I forced myself to concentrate on something else.

My birthday.

I didn’t feel any older. For some reason, I’d thought I’d feel more sophisticated, better able to flirt with guys, when I turned seventeen. Instead, I felt like the same old me.

Faint light was visible through the curtain. Dawn was well on its way to arriving. My first day as a sherpa with an actual assignment. I was about to embark on my maiden adventure of the summer. I couldn’t wait.

The past week I’d been going through all kinds of preparation and training. This initial excursion would be my test. I reached over and turned on the lamp. Lindsey groaned and stuck her head under the pillow, mumbling something that sounded like
Go away
.

“Don’t mind her,” Brittany said as she got out of bed and then dropped to the floor and started doing pushups. “She’d stay in bed all day if she had her way.”

“I thought she enjoyed the woods.”

“Thought wrong.” She jumped to her feet and stretched. “She likes the woods well enough, but she’d rather not be here.”

I glanced over at Lindsey. She’d never told me that. “So why is she?”

“It’s expected. If you grow up around here, you’re destined to be a sherpa during the summer.”

“And you
all
grew up around here?”

“In Tarrant, just up the road.”

You have to pass through it to get to the park. It looks like any other small town in America. “So in our little group, you’re all friends?”

“Pretty much, yeah. Connor, Rafe, and Lucas left for college this past year. Lindsey and I have one more year in high school. Then we’ll head out, too.”

“Guess everyone can’t wait to get away from home.”

“Isn’t that why you’re here?”

I nodded. But there was more to it. I’d always enjoyed camping, but lately all I wanted to do was be in the outdoors. “I guess I should feel like an outsider here, but I don’t.”

She shrugged. “You’re one of us, aren’t you?”

I smiled at the thought of all the training I’d passed. “I’m most definitely a sherpa.”

She angled her head and gave me a funny look that I couldn’t quite interpret. Where was my shrink when I needed him? “Exactly,” she said, but I had the feeling she’d wanted to say something else. “Dibs on the shower.”

I watched her walk into the bathroom. She was really toned. I found it a little intimidating. I was all of fivefoot-four, with a slender build. I hoped that hauling a pack and hiking all summer would add some muscle to my shape.

“Are you ready for your first official day as a sherpa?” Lindsey asked as she sat up and ran her fingers through her white-blond hair.

I moved to the edge of the bed. “Honestly? I’m terrified.”

She gave me an incredulous look. “Why? You aced all the training.”

“Yeah, but that was all in a controlled environment. I know things can get hairy out in the real world.”

“You’re going to do great.”

“Can I be honest with you?”

“Sure. Always.”

“I’m a little worried because I’m assigned to Lucas’s group. He sort of scares me. He’s so intense.”

“Don’t let him get to you. All the guys feel like they have something to prove. When they were young, their dads were sherpas. So it’s a tradition passed down from father to son. They’ve only let girls be sherpas for a few years now.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. They didn’t think girls were strong enough.”

“Is that the reason Brittany starts her morning with pushups?”

Lindsey rolled her eyes. “Yeah. Maybe she feels like she has something to prove, too. I don’t take it nearly as seriously as everyone else does.”

Brittany came out of the bathroom. Her long, dark hair was pulled back severely into a tight braid. She was wearing cargo shorts, boots, and a red tank. She looked at her watch. “You know we have to report in about ten minutes.”

“Oh my God.” I rushed into the bathroom.

I wanted to take my time with the shower, keeping the water as hot as I could stand it, because I knew it would be my last one for many days. But I was pressed for time. No makeup would be needed on the trail, although I did use sunscreen—to try to keep my freckles at a minimum—and mascara. My eyelashes are a faint red, and without a touch of mascara they are barely visible. I slipped on my cargo pants, boots, and a thin tank top. Over the tank, I zipped a snug hoodie. I tied a bandana over my wild red hair.

I finished up my morning ritual by touching the pewter necklace I always wore. It was a circle of knots and twisted strands. Someone had once told me that it was a Celtic symbol for
guardian
. It seemed appropriate. It had belonged to my mother, and sometimes it made me feel as though she was watching over me.

When I stepped out of the bathroom, Brittany was gone and Lindsey was dressed in cargo shorts and a spaghetti-strap tank. She’d pulled her blond hair back into a ponytail. She helped me adjust my pack onto my back and shoulders.

“If it gets too heavy, say something to Lucas,” she told me. “He can shift some of the supplies to the other guys.”

“I’m not a weakling. I can carry my own stuff.” I was a little insulted that she thought I’d need help.

“I’m just saying. Sherpas carried a lot of your stuff last summer, so you might not be used to all the weight.”

“But this year,
I’m
a sherpa.”

“Looks like you’ll be a stubborn one, too,” she mumbled.

I wasn’t stubborn, but I was determined to pull my weight. And not to miss my adoptive parents. It was hard, though. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my natural parents, but they’d been gone a long time. My adoptive parents had always treated me like I was their birth kid. I loved them with a fierceness that surprised me sometimes. But it was my nature to have strong emotions about things, at least according to my shrink. It was the reason that I was still coping with the senseless death of my parents.