More Than Famous (Famous #2) (28 page)

Cade’s hand went up to cover his eyes as he paused, and my heart stopped at the trembling in his voice. "It blows my mind that you doubt me, that you don't trust me!" His voice grew soft, thick with emotion as he looked at me again. "And now to hear you say that you've tried to stop loving me, you might as well bloody shoot me, because I'll be no less dead!"

My breath caught in my throat at his words and his eyes flashed as he took a deep, ragged breath.

"Jesus Brook! Don't you know how much I love you?" He ran his hand through his hair. "Ahhhhhhh!" he yelled, and I flinched again.

Then he sat down beside me and softened his tone, again. "Can't you see how destroyed I am? It hurts so much; I can't even breathe." He dropped his head and put his arms around it, his closed elbows hiding his features.

Tears started to fall, despite my valiant efforts to keep them at bay. "Please can we just lay it on the table so maybe we can move past this? My heart is breaking, Cade. Please." I wiped at my tears with both hands.

"Isn't that what I've been doing?" His voice was rough and deep. He moved closer to me and took both of my hands in his, the thumb of his right hand brushing over the ring finger on my left. "Where is my ring, Brook?" he asked brokenly.

"I have it with me. You can have it back if you want." My voice cracked on the last word.

"Hmmft..." He let out his breath. "Fuck no; I absolutely do not want it back. How can you even bloody say that, Brook? I want it on your finger where it belongs." He kissed my hand, his breath warm on my skin as he pressed his cheek against it. "I want this rubbish to go away. I can't take another minute of it."

I knew I just had to just tell him, so I took a shaky breath and plunged in. "I saw her there, Cade, okay?" His head snapped up to look in my face. "I saw it with my own eyes, so why are you denying it?" My shoulders were shaking with barely controlled emotion and my eyes were blurry with tears. “Please don’t lie.”

"What?" He looked stunned, his eyes wide, his brows raised. "You saw her?"

"I, um," I tried to clear my voice so I could continue. "Uhhhhmmm, I came back to L.A. so I could be with you." I watched his mouth gape and his eyes widen. The sobs were starting full force, tears rolling down my cheeks as I struggled to get the words out.

He was still as stone as he looked at me.

"I couldn't bear the hurt in your voice when I told you on the phone that I couldn't make it back, so I told Jeanne I had to go and hopped on the first available plane." I sniffed a little before I continued, "But the stupid plane was delayed and I couldn’t make it back by Midnight."

"Oh, baby... you came back to me?"

I nodded. My chest was aching and the tightness had me gasping for breath

"I came to your place around 2 AM and Wendy answered the door. She was naked Cade, wrapped in the comforter from your bed, the one you had in your room in London." I dropped my head into my hands and cried hard. "I'll never forget how I felt in that moment. She was so cruel, smug; telling me that you were sleeping because you'd had a sex-a-thon, asking me what the hell I was doing there," my voice broke on the words.

He was frozen next to me so I turned toward him. "That's why, when I didn't return your calls the next day, I thought you'd figure out that I knew, and I wasn't strong enough to talk to you about it then. It was too soon."

"But..." I looked up into his face as confusion flooded his features. He was shaking his head, "that can't be." Cade was talking to himself. He rose from the bed and began walking back and forth and then sat down on the bed again. The look on his face was panicked.

"That can't be, Brook. I was so upset that we couldn't be together; I drank myself into oblivion that night. I barely talked to anyone. You were all I thought about. I didn't even remember how I got home."

He stopped as realization dawned on him. "I don't remember anything. Oh, God, I'll never forgive myself if..." His voice fell off and he was shaking as he looked at me, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. “If I let that happen.”

"If you were that intoxicated, maybe you don't remember being with her." I rose from the bed and turned away from him, trying to push away my own pain as I made excuses for his behavior. "I'm sure you wouldn't do that under normal circumstances, but even knowing that you were drunk, it doesn't change that it happened, and it hurts so much." My voice breaking in barely a whisper, I told him the whole truth. "I hoped we could get back to how we used to be without reliving all of this, but I realized I had to tell you everything."

"That night, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't walk, I couldn't see through my tears—I could barely tell the cab driver to take me back to LAX." I tried to wipe the wetness from my face, but the tears wouldn't stop, and I was sobbing softly. "I turned right around and went back to New York. I got through the obligation, secured the film... . Then completely fell apart afterward."

He got up and came to me, one arm going around me, his other hand on my face, brushing my hair back.

"God, Brook, I'm so sorry you had to go through that, but you've got to believe that I wouldn't do that to you." His eyes were filling with tears. "I'd never hurt you like that, I'd never risk losing you. I never wanted her and you are my entire world. Jesus Christ, Brook, I need you to believe me." His blue eyes full of panic, his voice was rough with anguish. His forehead came to rest against mine, his warm breath on my face. "Please," he begged. "Just…
please
."

God help me, I couldn't stop my arms from flinging themselves around his neck as I sobbed into his shoulder and his arms tightened around my back, one hand sliding up to hold the back of my head. His face turned into the curve of my neck, as we clung to each other for dear life.

He was everything to me and all I wanted at that moment was to melt into him and forget any of this ever happened.

"Oh, Brook." He was crying too as he stroked the back of my head. "I love you so much; I'd rather die than see you so hurt."

I didn't think I had any tears left after the shoot earlier that day, but it was like a flood gate had opened and the sobs racked my body again. The stress of the entire thing made us both desperate and clinging to each other. I tried to talk through the hiccupping gasps.

"I hate myself for being so weak, but I can't stop loving you. Oh, God, help me stop aching, Cade," I cried and his face turned into my hair, pulling me even closer to his chest.

"Oh, babe, I'm so sorry. I can't lose you, please." He was raining kisses all over my face as he breathed my name over and over. "I'll get to the bottom of this, I promise. If I did anything so fucking reckless, I'll just kill myself."

We forgot the pizza, forgot everything and we just held each other for hours. Our bodies molded together on the bed, our hands stroking each other and Cade placing soft kisses on my face and then he took my mouth in a series of deep, searching kisses. We were soaking each other up, the months of separation and pain evaporating as the minutes passed. We quieted and just lay, totally entwined. My head over his heart and his arms wrapped tightly around me, we were content just to hold each other. I was so emotionally spent, my lids got heavy and I yawned.

"Go to sleep, love. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere," he said against my mouth before placing one last soft kiss on my lips. I took a deep breath as I snuggled against him and closed my eyes. "I'm so, so sorry, my love; so sorry. We'll sort through this whole thing tomorrow, I promise."

"I'm sorry too. It doesn't even matter, Cade. I just want you. I still love you as much as always, maybe even more. Being without you is not something I can do." I snuggled into him and our legs entwined. I felt him sigh and kiss the top of my head.

I had to trust him, to have faith in these feelings, to believe in what I saw in his eyes whenever he looked at me, and how it felt whenever he touched me. His words left me breathless, so all of it couldn't be a lie. My heart wouldn't let me believe anything else.

WITH BROOK ASLEEP
next to me at least I knew we loved each other and that we both wanted to be back together, but still, I lay awake still trying to figure it all out. How could I have been so bloody stupid to let myself, drunk or not, get into such a fucking precarious situation? It could have cost me everything that mattered to me in this world.

Jesus Christ.
Damn Wendy to hell!

My chest constricted at the pain I saw in Brook's face, her voice shaking as she told me about seeing Wendy at my apartment.

How could I let that happen
? I racked my brain trying to figure it out. Brook seemed peaceful, sleeping in my arms, but my brain was blaring.

All I could remember was getting drunk at the bar with Dawson and Ethan. Jen was there making out with Dawson, and Wendy was annoying the hell out of both Ethan and me. She did try to paw all over me, but I pushed her off me and turned my back to her after screaming at her above the bar din "I love Brook, Wendy! Get the fuck off me!"

 I'd made Ethan switch places with me so I could get away from her as I ordered more drinks for everyone. The next thing I remember was waking up in my apartment alone, with the worst hangover of my life, and Brook not taking my calls.

I was completely and utterly furious with myself. Could I have slept with her and not remember? For the love of God, I'd never forgive myself if that happened, and I'd beg Brook's forgiveness every day for the rest of my life.

I felt positive that I was in no state to perform that night, no matter who I was with, so could Wendy be lying? I sure as hell hoped so because she wasn't there when I woke up. If it didn’t happen, what was she going to do? Try to convince me that I’d shagged her then blackmail me with it? Or, was her plan this entire time just to torment Brook? It was obvious she was green with jealousy or maybe she was helping that sod, David in some revenge ploy.

She’d practically stalked Brook during the first film, taking every advantage for publicity and to hang out with us. All of her insinuations and flirting with me were over the top, but I’d brushed her attempts aside. Obviously, I had to confront Wendy with Brook right beside me. It was the only way to get to the truth.

I thought I had handled this problem when I told Wendy I loved Brook after the photo shoot, but apparently that only made her more determined. Recognition dawned as I remembered how her words as she left that night felt like a threat.
"You'll regret this decision,"
she'd said.

Well,
she'd
bloody well regret it when I was done with her.

Brook stirred at my side and murmured my name, the arm across my chest creeping up to the back of my neck and curling into my hair. My heart swelled as my arms tightened around her. I loved her, and no way in hell was I letting that malicious little twit come between us. I shook my head at myself and sucked in a deep breath. How could I have been so careless?

I let my hand run up and down Brook's perfect little body, relishing in the feel of her as she snuggled more closely to my side. She thought I cheated, yet still loved me, still wanted me, and she trusted me enough to believe me when I told her I couldn't have been with Wendy, even though I couldn’t remember the details.

I never wanted to see that kind of pain in her eyes again. I turned my face toward the top of her head and kissed it, breathing in her scent. I never wanted to let her go.

I tried to imagine how I’d have felt if I were the one to go to Brook's door and some naked man answered it. I closed my eyes at the tightness in my chest, and tried to swallow the lump in my throat.

It would kill me. I would have fucking broken the door down and beat the man to a bloody pulp. No question, I'd have jumped to the exact same conclusions Brook had.

I still couldn't believe she'd flown all the way back from New York to surprise me. She was amazing. Coming all the way back to L.A. so we could be together, only to be faced with that bloody nightmare.
Holy Hell.

After all of this bullshit was cleared up, I was going to have it out with Pinnacle Studios, too. Enough was enough. We were going to be together and the rest of them, be damned. I didn't care about the contracts, the movies or my career, at this point. I'd schlep burgers before I'd let this carry on.

I wouldn’t let them continue to put us in a position where the media, or anyone else, could do shit like this to destroy us. I was done, and I would protect Brook from this type of thing ever happening again. If the world knew we were together, there would be less speculation in the tabloids trying to hook one of us up with other people.

Resigned to what I needed to do, I relaxed and let myself enjoy the moments with her, to smell her hair, feel her warmth. It enveloped me like a warm bath as our limbs tangled together in the blankets.

My heart, mind and arms full of Brook, I felt sleep begin to overtake me. I was completely exhausted.

Tomorrow I'd talk to Ethan, and confront Wendy.

I'd either be able to take away all of Brook's fears, or if I
had
been stupid enough to shag Wendy and didn't remember it, I'd have to deal with the consequences and beg Brook to forgive me. She'd already told me she did... but would I be able to forgive myself for hurting her?