More Than Jamie Baker (Jamie Baker #2) (15 page)

Again, I tried not to make a face. He’d just summed up everything I love about Ryan in five seconds and managed to make it sound so unflattering.

“He’s like your friend Becky—typical. Predictable. Simple.”

“
Simple
?”

“He’s a stereotype, and you’re anything but. You’re going to get bored with him.”

“Get
bored
? With
Ryan Miller
?” I laughed, but it was strained. Teddy was seriously starting to make me angry. “You obviously don’t know Ryan. Or me. Ryan’s not typical. He’s
normal
.” The “unlike you” was definitely implied. “He is everything I need. Everything I will
ever
need.”

I shot to my feet and threw out my coffee cup as I stomped out the door. Teddy followed me. “I’m sorry,” he said matching my quick pace on the sidewalk. “I didn’t mean to make you angry. Like I said, your boyfriend seems like a really nice guy. I just think you should re-evaluate your situation. He was your high school boyfriend, right? I don’t doubt that he was probably the best option at the time, but your life is different now. You’re not stuck in the little pond anymore. You’re swimming in the ocean now.”

I stopped and turned to him with a piercing look. “And what does that make you? A shark?”

“No. It just makes me one of the millions of other fish out there. A kind you’ve never seen before. Maybe one who’s much better suited for you.”

I had to hand it to him—there was no limit to his boldness. It’s a shame it wasn’t going to work for him in this case. “There is no one better suited for me than Ryan. Sorry.”

“How do you know?”

“I know, because he makes me feel whole. He makes me feel like I can do anything. I know, because I love him. More than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything ever in my entire life.”

Teddy looked frustrated, but not angry. “Okay,” he said, finally giving up. “Fine. If you really love him that much, if he really does give you everything you need, then who am I to try and get in the way of that?”

“Thank you.” I was exasperated, but my anger was already fading. He was being completely straightforward after all, which I had to respect. It’s possible I was over-reacting because I was stressed about being watched. I needed to end this conversation and get out of here. “I’m sorry I got defensive. Look, I’m flattered, but I’m with Ryan, okay?”

Teddy nodded and somehow managed to give me a genuine smile. “I had to give it my best shot though, didn’t I? That boyfriend of yours is one very lucky guy.”

I was surprised when I returned his smile, but I followed it with a sigh. “Are you sure you’re not interested in Becky? Not even a little bit? Because you seem like a really good guy. You know, the last five minutes notwithstanding.” He rolled his eyes at that last part. “I really think you’d be good for her.”

His smile turned sad. “I’m sorry. She’s a wonderful person, but she can’t really hold a candle to you. I wouldn’t want to lead her on when my feelings are clearly elsewhere.”

Ugh. And he was honorable, too. What a waste of such a good guy.

Teddy stuck out his hand and cautiously asked, “No hard feelings? Still friends?”

I thought about it for a minute and then accepted his handshake. “Still friends. But no more trying to steal me from my boyfriend. Got it? It’s not going to happen. I am
happy
with Ryan. I
love
him.”

“I understand. But if he ever does anything to mess it up, all bets are off.” When I laughed, Teddy shook his head. “I’m serious. If you’re happy, that’s one thing, but once he can’t—” Teddy caught the look on my face and wisely decided to rephrase. “
If
he can’t keep you completely satisfied—or does something to lose your good graces—I’d be a fool not to act.”

I sighed again. “Thanks, I guess.”

I shifted my purse over my shoulder and glanced at my stalker again. He noticed me looking and immediately started walking away down the street as if he hadn’t been watching me. Yeah. Nice try, buddy. Not falling for it.

“I really do have to get going,” I said. “I’m not just trying to ditch you.”

“If you say so.” Teddy gave me a strange look and glanced over my shoulder as if he’d caught me surveying my surroundings. “I’m going to hold you to that friendship thing, though. Maybe you, me, Becky, and Ryan can all hang out sometime this week.”

“Yeah, okay. Thanks for the coffee.”

“My pleasure.”

With that, Teddy headed off down the street. I waited a moment to make sure he was really leaving, and then headed off in the opposite direction. After about a block, I spotted two people following me. Neither of them was the guy with the camera.

I slipped inside a crowded restaurant, and as soon as I was out of sight I took off at superspeed. I was out the back door and up on the roof in time to see both men and a third I hadn’t spotted run inside the restaurant.

I concentrated and listened as the men secretly searched the restaurant. After a few minutes, they regrouped in the back parking lot. I crouched as close as I could and started filming them with my phone just as one of them spoke into his wrist watch.

No, I’m not joking. His freaking
watch
. Like he was James Bond, or the FBI.

“This is Demakis, sir. We lost the girl.”

From the guy’s earpiece I heard a raging voice say, “What do you mean you
lost
her?”

“She’s smart, sir. She spotted Reynolds. She knew we were following her. She ducked into a crowd and disappeared.”

I expected more yelling, but instead the voice calmly said, “Disappeared. Do you mean that literally?”

“It’s possible, sir, but not confirmed.”

“And the boy?”

Boy? What boy? Did they mean Teddy?

“One moment, sir.”

One of the other men pressed a button on his own spy-issue watch. “Reynolds! Status?”

“Subject heading west on Folsom Blvd. in a tan Honda Civic.”

The first guy relayed the message and the angry voice on the earpiece said, “Stay with him, but do not approach. He will lead us to the girl again.”

I stopped recording and crouched down completely out of sight. I stayed there long after the men left, fighting off a panic attack. This was so, so, so bad. And now I’d endangered Teddy, too, just by talking to him.

This was officially getting
out of hand. Ryan hadn’t really believed me before, but now he had to. So did my parents. I cringed, looking at yet another message from my father. He called while I was on my way to pick up Ryan. I’d let it go to voicemail. I needed to see him in person before we spoke. Of course, I also needed Ryan there for moral support—or possibly as a witness—because there was a chance my father might try to kill me the minute he saw me.

You’d think it was my parents who had the superhearing. I’d clicked the front door so softly, but they both heard me anyway. They pounced on me before I even had the front door all the way closed.

For a minute, they both just scooped me up into a Jamie sandwich and took turns looking me over as if making sure I was all in one piece. As was their custom, when they finally got over their initial worry, Mom sat down and started crying while Dad paced the room, his face turning a deeper shade of red with every step.

“You don’t understand,” I said, breaking the silence with my incredibly tired, incredibly small voice.

“You’re darn right, we don’t!”

“Dad?” He was yelling, but there was no doubt he was only angry because he was afraid. In fact, I’ve never seen him more afraid.

Taking a good look at my parents, I realized they weren’t close to falling apart; they were in the middle of falling apart. And again, it was my fault. Geez. The universe was just so unjust. Let someone almost die—feel guilty. Save a few people’s lives—feel guilty. Superheroism really sucks sometimes.

“Why, Jamie?” My father sounded broken. “Why would you risk your life like this?”

I thought back to Mike’s accident. The moment I consciously decided not to help him played out in my mind, and then I heard his somber voice telling me that he’d never walk again.

“Because I hate myself.” I didn’t realize how true it was until I’d spoken the words. “I’m a coward, and I’m selfish.”

My mom threw her arms around me. “Jamie, you know that’s not true. Why would you say something so horrible?”

“Because I let someone get hurt. Not just someone. Someone I know. Ryan’s
best friend
.”

“Jamie, you didn’t owe it to him to save him,” Ryan argued.

I cut him off before he could go any further. “None of you understand. Mike almost died. I thought he was going to. I could have saved him, but instead I stood there and watched it happen because I was scared. I was only thinking about myself. I didn’t want to be exposed and now Mike will never walk again.”

The tears hit me hard and wouldn’t stop. Sobbing, I recounted the entire story of Mike’s accident for my parents. When I was finished, my dad looked pale and my mom was, of course, sobbing with me. “Oh, sweetheart,” she cried. “You can’t blame yourself for that.”

“I can’t stop myself from taking the blame! Don’t you get it? I
let
him get hurt! Ever since it happened, I’ve been a wreck. I hardly eat. I’m not sleeping, and when I do, I have awful nightmares.”

“Nightmares?” Ryan was startled. “You didn’t mention nightmares. And you ate all that Chinese last night.”

“It was the first real meal I’ve eaten since the accident.”

“Sweetheart…” Mom’s voice drifted off because, really, what was there to say to that?

“I hate myself for the choice I made. I hate myself so much more for Mike’s accident than I ever have for Derek’s, and I
killed
Derek.”

I was quiet for a second, but then I felt my resolve return. I wiped my tears away and looked my father in the eye. “Derek was an accident, but not helping Mike was a conscious choice. It was the wrong one. I can’t go back and change it, but I can learn from it.”

“But Jaime, you can’t just go out playing superhero.”

“Why not? It’s what I am.”

My dad took a deep breath in an attempt to keep himself rational. “I understand how hard this is for you, but—”

“No, you don’t!” I shouted suddenly. I pushed myself out of my mom’s arms and took my father’s place, pacing the room. “You don’t understand! You can’t possibly understand! No one can!”

“No, you’re right. I don’t. I didn’t mean—”

“You have no idea what it’s like having the power that I have! How terrifying and how tempting it is. Dad, last year—when Mr. Edwards hurt Ryan so badly—you don’t know how close I came to killing him. I was going to. I wanted to. Hurting him felt
good
.”

Everyone looked as if they didn’t believe me. Maybe they could lie to themselves, but I knew the truth. “If Carter hadn’t stopped me, I would have done it. I would have murdered a man in cold blood because I was angry and because I knew I could do it. I knew I could get away with it. I am a
bad
person.”

“No, Jamie,” Ryan said.

My mom nodded in agreement with Ryan. “We all feel like that sometimes.”

Dad threw his hands up in the air. “You don’t think I’ve fantasized about ripping Edwards apart with my bare hands for what he did to the two of you? You don’t think I’ve wanted to kill Carter a thousand times over? Anger is natural. Your feelings are normal.
You
are normal.”

But that was where my dad was wrong. “Except I have power that others don’t. That accident changed me. I know it sounds cheesy, but I’m not just human anymore. I’m something more than that. Things are different for me. My choices have different consequences than yours. I have responsibilities.”

“Risking your life to save other people is not your responsibility.”

“Ryan told me it was a miracle that I survived my accident. He said I was given a second chance at life, but that I was wasting it.”