More Than Music (9 page)

W
e spent the next couple hours having photos taken of us, both individually and as a band. After that, another camera crew had us walk down a long red carpet outside while they filmed us. Like in the interview the other day, they had me and Jared up front, and the other two guys behind us. We did this multiple times, walking toward the camera and trying to look cool with the wind blowing our hair back, like we were a Serious Band Doing Serious Music. Mostly, I felt ridiculous.

When I returned to my room, my phone was flashing with a bunch of texts from Julie and Carla asking how my first day was and another from Jared telling me to come to their room to watch the show in an hour. I’d forgotten that the first episode of
The Sound
was tonight, and there was a good chance we’d be on it. Even if we weren’t on until tomorrow’s show, we needed to check out the other bands and see what we were up against.

I wrote the girls and told them my day was crazy but exciting and that I would update them more later. After a quick shower, I pulled on some yoga pants and a tank top, but one glance in the mirror told me that wouldn’t work. The tank top was too tight on its own, and this wasn’t like hanging out with my roommates in my apartment. I barely knew these guys—other than Kyle anyway. I switched to jeans and threw a flannel shirt on over my tank top. Much better.

When I got to the guys’ room, they already had two pizzas sitting on the desk, and my stomach growled. Hector was hogging an entire bed, Jared was on the other, and Kyle took up the only chair, leaving me no place to sit. I hesitated just inside the door, trying to figure out a way to solve the seating problem without it being super awkward.

“Grab some pizza and come sit,” Jared said, patting the bed next to him. None of the other guys said anything, so I guessed that was my spot then. Thanks a lot, guys.

I got some food and a beer and sat next to Jared, careful to stick to my side of the bed so we didn’t touch. With my luck, I’d probably drop pizza all over his white sheets. Why couldn’t they have ordered something less messy to eat? But soon the warm smell of cheese and pepperoni hit me, and I was digging in, too.

“Oh my god, this pizza is the greatest thing I’ve ever eaten.”

“I know. I thought I was going to chew my arm off earlier,” Jared said.

“Maybe the show is starving us so we’ll lose those ten pounds the camera adds.”

He laughed, and I loved the sound of it, how honest and real it was. “That must be it. Though I think you look perfect the way you are.” His voice dropped so the other guys couldn’t hear the last part, and I swear the room temperature jumped by at least ten degrees.

“Quiet, it’s starting,” Kyle said and used the remote to raise the volume.

For the first few minutes, the show explained the premise and how it worked and then introduced the mentors. They made a big deal about how Lance had won the last three years in a row and then showed a quick preview of the bands performing tonight, including a one-second shot of us, before it cut away to commercials. I nearly dropped my pizza when I saw it. I knew our audition would be aired one of the nights, but it was still a total shock to actually see us on TV.

“That was us!” Kyle said, slapping his hand on the desk.

“We must be on tonight’s show,” Jared said.

He got up and dropped his empty plate in the trash and then sank back on the bed. His elbows brushed against my side as he opened his laptop, making me tense up, but when I tried to look at him without actually looking at him, he didn’t seem to notice. Had he purposefully sat a little closer to me this time? Or was I imagining it?

The show returned with the first audition from an alternative band I didn’t recognize. Lissa was the only one who buzzed for them, which explained why I hadn’t seen them yet. The auditions continued, and we all made comments about who was good and who was probably just filler while Jared took notes on his laptop. There were always a few bands that would obviously get weeded out early on. They weren’t bad, but they didn’t have the skills or experience yet for the show. I really hoped we weren’t one of those bands.

I finished my pizza and tossed the plate. This time, my thigh touched Jared’s when I sat back down, but he didn’t react. I settled against the pillows and watched the show, but left my leg there to see if he’d do anything and—if I was honest with myself—because touching Jared woke up every inch of my body in a way I couldn’t resist. He didn’t move his leg, but he didn’t make any
other
moves either. I must have imagined that he’d sat closer to me earlier. And now that I wasn’t eating, I didn’t know what to do with my hands. I tried different positions—crossing my arms, leaving them at my sides, and finally settled on lacing my fingers in my lap.

After an hour, we were finally on. We all sat up straighter and Kyle said, “Shh!” even though no one was talking. They showed part of our interview first, when we all introduced ourselves, and then they cut to a clip of us waiting before the audition with the other bands. I hadn’t realized they’d been filming us, but there was Jared singing to me in front of everyone and the look on my face of pure longing made me cringe. Was I always that obvious? They followed that clip with the interviewer asking if there was anything between me and Jared and my quick denial and then went to commercials.

“Wow, you looked horrified by his question,” Jared said.

“I know!” Kyle said. “Did you see her face when he asked that?”

“Yeah, hilarious,” I said, trying to make light of it so they would move on as soon as possible.

“Is the idea really
that
bad?” Jared asked.

“No!” I said, a little too loudly. “I was just surprised when he asked me that.”

“I love it.” Hector cracked up. “Maddie’s the one girl disgusted by the idea of dating you.”

“Ha fucking ha.” Jared threw a crumpled–up, oil-covered napkin at Hector, who tossed it back at us. Naturally, it landed on my lap. I threw it at Kyle, and it bounced off his head and hit the floor. He gave a mock-growl, and we all laughed.

Our laughs cut off instantly the second the show was back on. The stage turned, revealing me clutching my guitar like it would protect me from the audience somehow, and Jared looking confident and sexy as usual, a man born to be on stage. Hector started us off, and he was an animal on the drums. His muscular arms pounded away while sweat dripped down his forehead, and his energy fueled the rest of our performance. Meanwhile, Kyle bobbed his head to the music, sometimes playing the keyboard one-handed and getting the crowd going. I hadn’t seen either of them when we performed, and it was fun to watch them now.

And then there was me. Stiff. Wide-eyed. Looking like I was about to bolt off the stage. It was obvious who the weak link in the band was, and even worse, this was on TV for the entire country to see. I might have been playing the song, but I just wasn’t bringing it.

The mentors began buzzing for us, and on the bed, my fingers dug into the sheets, itching to get back on stage with my guitar and relive that moment. Jared’s hand slipped between our bodies, and he tangled his fingers with mine, sending a jolt under my skin. I wanted to look at him, to see his face when he squeezed my hand, but then it would make the moment too real. Instead, I kept my gaze on the screen while Jared’s thumb brushed against the spot on my wrist where my pulse raced, making my lips part with a silent sigh. None of the other guys noticed, too busy watching the mentors fight over our band on TV. They showed the clip of the guys all hugging after the audition, with Jared pulling me in to join them, before the show moved on to the next band.

Jared finally released my hand and put his fingers back on the laptop, allowing me to breathe again.

“That was pretty good,” he said. “Even though I sucked at bass, and my voice was too pitchy on the third verse.”

“You were fine,” Kyle said. “I screwed up the bridge though.”

“You were both amazing, and Hector, too,” I said. “I’m the one who stood there like a deer in the headlights the entire performance. And I was so shocked when a mentor buzzed for us that I lost my place.”

Jared leaned against me, nudging me with his arm. “You did great, really.”

A conflicting mix of feelings rushed through me. I wanted to rest my head against his shoulder. I wanted the other guys to leave so I could be alone with him. I wanted to escape to my room and forget about Jared completely. That was definitely the safest option.

“That was your first live show,” Kyle said, bringing me back to the moment. “You’ll do even better next time.”

Hector nodded. “Don’t stress about it, Maddie. You were really good.”

I gave them all a weak smile. “Thanks. I just don’t want to let you guys down.”

“You won’t,” Kyle said. “You just need more practice on stage, that’s all.”

Jared sat up straighter. “Look, it’s The Static Klingons.”

The four of them wore matching shirts made to look like they were crew members on
Star Trek
. Sean spoke for the group during their interview, describing how they practiced in an old barn in Nebraska.

“Ha! Your boyfriend lives on a farm,” Kyle said.

“He is
not
my boyfriend.” Sean was cute, but he was so…vanilla. So bland. He reminded me of my high school boyfriend—nice and boring and safe.

Hector smirked. “But he’d like to be.”

We quieted down as the band took the stage. Their song got the audience going, though not as much as our performance had. Sean played guitar and had a catchy, high-pitched voice—a little nasally but in a good way.

“They’re not bad,” Hector said.

“Yeah,” Kyle said. “They sound sort of like if Weezer had a love child with Daft Punk.”

“They’re really good,” I said. “And unfortunately for us, their sound is perfect for The Killers’ song.”

Jared sighed. “I wish Angel had paired us with that punk band. We’d crush them.”

“But then you wouldn’t have the chainmail bikini girl to flirt with,” Kyle said.

“Eh, she lives in Boston anyway.”

Hector snorted. “Like that matters. You’re not going to
date
her.”

“Hey, I already told Jared he’s not allowed to bring girls up here,” Kyle said.

“Yeah, but that means you can’t bring Alexis either,” Jared said.

“I’ll make that sacrifice to not have to deal with your women the morning after.” He made a gagging sound.

Thanks for reminding me, Kyle. And soon, Jared would have even more groupies, more screaming girls who would love to invite him to their rooms for the night. I couldn’t let myself forget the kind of guy Jared was, no matter how he made me feel. Especially since he seemed to make
every
girl feel that way.

The guys kept bantering until the show ended. When it was over, Hector went into the bathroom and Kyle went onto the balcony to call Alexis. Leaving me alone in a bed with Jared, our bodies much too close and my hands way too tempted to reach for him again.

“I should go,” I said, jumping off the bed. “Early morning and all that.”

“Right.” He walked me to the door. I stepped outside, and he lingered in the doorway. “Maddie,” he said, and I turned back, wanting something I wasn’t ready to name yet. But all he said was, “Goodnight.”

T
he next morning I downloaded “Somebody Told Me” and listened to it on repeat as I got ready. During my elevator ride to the lobby, I got so into picking apart the guitar chords that I nearly crashed into Jared when I stepped out.

“Hey,” Jared said, giving me a quick once-over with a smile. “You look great.”

“Thanks.” I flushed, but reminded myself that Jared always said things like that. It didn't mean anything. He was just a flirt.

Julie had helped me get my wardrobe ready for my time on the show, including an all-day shopping event over the weekend. Everyone had to be prepared to be filmed at any time, so I had to keep up my rocker look for the next few weeks. Today I was wearing a long, one-shouldered top over black-and-white-striped leggings and ankle boots. But I was more surprised by what Jared wore; over his black jeans, he had on a T-shirt with the classic Joker and Harley Quinn on it.

“Oh, wow, I love your shirt,” I said.

“Yeah? They’re my favorite Batman villains.”

“Mine too! They’re like the Bonnie and Clyde of comics.” I paused before revealing the next bit since it might cross the line, but I decided to let my geek flag fly. “I’m actually dressing up as Harley Quinn for Comic-Con next month.”

“Really?” he asked, as we moved to a spot near the revolving doors to wait for Kyle and Hector.

“I know, it’s pretty nerdy, but my friend Julie is making all the costumes. She’s going to be Poison Ivy and my other friend Carla is going to be Catwoman.”

“Gotham City’s most dangerous women. I like it.”

“That’s the idea.”

“You know, we’re all going to Comic-Con, too. Maybe I’ll dress up as the Joker.” He winked at me.

That wink was dangerous. It could get a girl in trouble. And was he saying he wanted to go as a couple? Or was I reading too much into that comment? “You’re all going to Comic-Con?”