More Than Scars (11 page)

Chapter 6 Walls

              The room was dark when my eyes opened. I sensed that there was someone there with me but I didn’t feel any fear. I did feel an ache between my eyes though. I had often felt this after one of my spells. A spell I had not had for two years. Nothing had set me off in a long while. I had grown very talented at pushing the feelings and the memories away. If I didn’t feel them…then my body did not react to them! I thought I had found a balance with the medication too. I’d given up therapy. Therapy was for crazy people! I was just a woman who lost her dad…in a horrible, horrible manner.

             
Tears teased at the corners of my eyes. This was not what I wanted to be doing at this moment. “How long have I been out?” I growled.

             
“Just stay still sweetheart!”

             
“Mom,” I cried out with relief. “What happened?”

             
“You had an episode but you are okay now. Dr. Brown was here and he checked you over. As he put it; You just checked out. You are okay.”

             
I sat up and rubbed my face, groaning in mortification as memories started rushing back. “I passed out in my bosses arms,” I cried. “I had a full on mental break down in front of his brother.” My face made itself home in my hands. “Oh mom…I’m fired for sure!”

             
“No dear, you are fine!”

             
“How are you here?”

             
She smiled at me, coming to sit next to me on the bed. “He called me from his horse,” she laughed. “I guess he was juggling you, the reins and the phone. His brother was yelling at him in the background. Something about…he couldn’t believe he would follow you! Well, that’s beside the point! Liam wanted to know if this had happened before and he explained the circumstances. I called Dr. Brown and we came.” She reached out a hand to gently stroke my cheek.

             
“I’m so embarrassed! What they must think of me! Mr. Byrne has seen enough of my mental capacity to throw me out now.” I shook my head. “What he must think!”

             
“He was very worried about you Rissa. And he has been through a lot too. I am sure he can empathize with a break from reality now and then.”

             
I sighed, pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face there.

             
“Do you want to talk about it?” She moved closer and wrapped her arm about me. “What caused the flash back?”

             
I laid my head against her shoulder. “I found out how Mr. Byrne got his scars,” I whispered.

             
She pressed a kiss to the top of my head.

             
“You know, don’t you?”

             
“Al told me that night…when he brought all the research.”

             
I blew out a breath. “He didn’t think I could take it?”

             
“Just look at you sweetie!”

             
I nodded. “But the way Ian told me…it was a shock. I was not prepared at all to learn what I did.” I felt tears well up. “His was kind of a reverse of what happened with dad though. In my case, the protector died…in his case, the one he tried to protect…” Tears rolled down my cheeks. “He survived and has to live with the memory.”

             
“He barely survived,” my mom whispered. “And yes, he has to live with it, just as you live with it.”

             
I closed my eyes. “And all those scars were for what?”

             
Her arms tightened about me. “A lot,” she sighed. “But that is his story to tell you.”

             
“You know?”

             
“A bit.”

             
“Tell me!”

             
“I can’t Nerissa. It is privileged information.”

             
“You have already talked to him,” I growled.

             
“He asked me to not tell what I have learned. I have to respect him! I was the first one he called to see you! He trusted to allow me in his home…he is a good man Nerissa and I will respect that if I want to continue to have his respect!”

             
I sighed in frustration. My mom was stubborn. Once she made up her mind…it was made! “Where are the girls?” Sudden concern hit me for them.

             
“They are with their Uncle Ian in the room playing a game. They’ve had dinner…”

             
“Dinner? I’ve been out all day?” I leapt from her arms and the bed and onto the floor. I was in serious threat of losing my job.

             
I stared down at the sweats and tee I wore. “Please tell me…”

             
“I dressed you,” she laughed. “Now get back in bed. The Dr. said you would need to relax!”

             
I shook my head and went for my jeans. I pulled them on and reached for a brush to run through my hair and then pulled said hair up into a pony tail. “I need to go see Mr. Byrne and beg him not to fire me!”

             
My Mom smiled at me and I had to wonder at the twinkle in her eye.

             
“Did you speak long with him?” I paused to give her a look.

             
She shrugged. “For a while, but he was anxious to have me back here watching over you.”

             
Biting my lip, I gave her a shrug. “Did he let you look at him?”

             
She stood to her feet and crossed to me. “I did not ask if I could. I got the run down from Stewart when I arrived and I obeyed. As strange as it sounds…it was very pleasant in Liam’s presence.”

             
I smiled. “It doesn’t sound strange at all. I will be right back.” I promised.

I headed out the door, ready to make my way up to Liam’s office. Stewart was waiting outside the door for me.

He gave that winning smile of his. “Feeling better Miss?”

“I would feel better if I could speak to Mr. Byrne,” I said softly, closing the door behind me.

“He asked me to talk to you.”

I frowned. “I’m fired aren’t I?” I heard the tremble in my voice.

“What? Oh, no, certainly not Miss! What happened today was beyond your control! Mr. Ian shouldn’t have said anything to you! He didn’t know either…and your reaction, well, no one would have guessed that would have happened.” He shook his head and reached to touch my shoulder gently. “Your job is still safe Miss.”

I sighed. “He’s not afraid I will break down with the girls?”

“You have worked with children for years and years without incident. This has nothing to do with them. This situation…this matter will not come up in front of them. Your condition is in regards to what happened with…your father only, right?”

I nodded.

“Then we have no worries. Please, do not upset yourself more than you already have! Mr. Byrne wanted me to make sure you were okay, nothing more. He wanted to make sure you knew you should sleep in tomorrow and not worry about breakfast. Mary will care for the girls.”

I protested immediately. “I am fine! I will see to the girls immediately! And I will be down tomorrow to help Mary. Honestly Stewart, I am okay. Please, don’t let this become a big issue!”

He smiled kindly.

“I still would like to speak to him though. I feel so silly! And if I could just…” I saw him hesitate. “Please Stewart? I won’t take but a moment! I want to thank him too for getting my mom and for taking care of me! At least let me have that! I won’t be able to settle…or let myself rest until I have at least thanked him!”

His face softened and he gave a nod. “Let me call him first. You stay here…I will only be a moment.” He held up a hand,

I gave him a thankful smile and blew out a breath of relief as he turned to a phone sitting on a table in the hall. He dialed a number and murmured into it, hung up, and turned back to me.

“Come Miss. He will see you.”

We started down the hall when the door to the girl’s room open and Ian charged out. He closed the door behind him as he exited “I knew I heard you out here! How are you?” He disregarded Stewart and came right to me. “Are you feeling better?”

I nodded, taken by surprise by his sudden appearance.

He looked to Stewart. “You are going to see Liam?”

Stewart gave a nod.

“I will take her up. I know you are busy.”

Stewart opened his mouth to protest, but Ian grabbed my hand and tugged me down the hall behind him.

“I will behave Stew. I want to talk to my brother too. There is a thing or two we have to straighten out before I leave!”

“Who is with the girls?” I protested.

“I put a movie in…they will be fine,” he said with assurance. “We will not be gone long. Not unless you are planning a long heart to heart?” His blue eyes danced as he glanced back at me.” I tugged my hand out of his, choosing to help myself up the stairs.

We stopped in front of the office and my hands began to sweat. What was it about this room? Or was it the man within the room? I quickly glanced town at my tee and jeans and grimaced. My hand went to my ponytail.

“You look adorable,” Ian spoke up sweetly. He gave two short knocks and then turned the door knob slowly. He took my elbow gently and ushered me into the dark room.

I bowed my head and entered, sensing Liam’s eyes on me immediately.

“Hello brother,” Ian crowed, closing the door behind him. He advanced ahead of me and took one of the chairs before the desk. I followed, seeing Liam rising to his feet for me. He was a gentleman…and he was straightening his tie.

He was dressed quite differently from this morning. No riding gear, no leather or gloves. He was all business in his dark suit and dark red tie. His scarred hands buttoned his suit jacket and smoothed the tie again.

“Please sit Miss Meadows,” he said softly, ignoring his brother’s rude crow.

I obeyed, keeping my eyes on my lap as I did so.

“So, I was wondering if you were going to explain to either of us why you were following us
today?” Ian sounded irritated. “I am glad you were there…I was a bumbling fool there for a minute and poor Nerissa would have fallen from her horse before I realized what was going on but I am pissed that you were there too.”

Liam sat down. I watched from beneath my lashes as he lowered himself to his chair. “You both do deserve an explanation,” he agreed. “I suppose that is why you are here together?”

“Yes,” Ian blurted.

“No,” I bit out. “Ian,” I hissed in reprimand. “I came to thank you. You do not need to explain yourself to me Mr. Byrne. I am just thankful you were there. Ian was in the hall and knew I was coming down…”

“Ian?”

I stopped at the low tone. It was almost a growl.

I bit my lip. “I’m sorry…I meant Mr…..”

“I want her to call me Ian,” Ian growled back.

“It’s not proper,” Liam said calmly.

“I will call him Mr. Byrne,” I conceded.

“No,” Ian sighed. “How will you ever keep us apart?”

“
Mr Ian then?”

Ian rolled his eyes. “You will call me Ian.” He reached for my hand and lifted it to his lips. “I insist. I do not feel disrespected…and f…” he paused with a grin. “Forget propriety.” He kissed each knuckle.

I shook my head at him. He was being a tease and he was playing at upsetting his brother. I could read this.

“This is why I followed you,” Liam sighed. “I cannot hire a female without…”

“Calm down Liam!” Ian let go of my hand. “I respect Nerissa. I am not trying to step on your toes or seduce her in any way. I like her. The girls like her. You like her. She is safe. I promise.

Liam relaxed a bit. “I was following you to be sure you didn’t try anything with Ms. Meadows, I…”

“I don’t think you were following us to watch me. You knew I would see a pretty girl and flirt. You didn’t count on me seeing her worth and treating her differently than I have the other help! I think you were testing Nerissa! You wanted to see if she would be the type to give into my charms.” His blue eyes sparked. “Well that’s pretty crummy of you brother! And just so you know…she wouldn’t be the type to give into my charms! She’s too busy admiring yours!”