Morning Glory - A Novelette (6 page)

I start to get out of bed, feeling a full on pout coming, but he grabs my arm. “Let me just say that I’ve spent the last thirty minutes willing away all of my embarrassing reactions to being in bed with you. You don’t even want to know the horrid and ludicrous thoughts it took to not scare you with all my morning glory. And Hayley, don’t ever compare me to your ex.”

His tone is straight, not teasing any more, and it makes me look at his face. He’s serious, so I say, “I wasn’t. I didn’t mean to insinuate—”

“He hurt you. I won’t ever hurt you.”

“You won’t. I know you won’t. I trust you.”

He pulls me back to him and holds me. My ear is pressed against his chest
as
I listen to every strong heartbeat and repeat, “I trust you.” I do too, so much.

We leave it there. The whispered words are the glue holding us together.

Nick takes off after breakfast
and h
is absence is felt immediately. The day is long and quiet with him gone. The night is starting to take over as my thoughts turn to Alejandro.

He’s my past. That much is apparent to me now. He was never meant to be my future. He hurt my pride on New Year’s, but we wouldn’t have lasted much longer anyway. Maybe that’s what makes this easier to deal with. Someone who truly loved me wouldn’t have
cheated on me
. Love shouldn’t weigh us down
, it should lift us up.

Nick
lifts me up.

Alejandro and I never made a good couple. We fought all the time, and I got complacent. We broke up
once
before, but this time, it’s different. This time I don’t care because I’m willing to acknowledge the truth now. I’ve loved Nick all along, but suppressed those feelings because we were never available at the same time. We are now for the first time since college, but should we risk our friendship?

I curl up in bed and
flick on the television
, but I
don’t make it to the first commercial break
before I think of Nick again and wonder if he’s with Jennifer tonight. The thought upsets me and the phone is ringing before I decide it’s probably best if I don’t bother him. I hang up quickly. Right when I set the phone down, it rings in my hand.

Nick.

“Hey,” I answer, trying for nonchalance.

“Hi, you called?”

“Oh, it’s nothing. Sorry for bothering you.”

I’m about to say good-bye when he says, “No bother. What’s up?”

I don’t know what I should say here. I miss you and want to know if you’re missing me? Are you with Jennifer? Are you alone?  “I was just thinking about you.” I take a deep breath to calm my nerves.

“I’ve been thinking about you, too.”

“You have?”

“That surprises you?”

“Kind of. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m not even sure why I called, Nick.”

“I’m glad you did. It’s been kind of awkward between us this week.”

“Yeah,” I say. I don’t like where we are with things, either. We’re in limbo. “This morning—”

“Let’s not rehash that. I’m suffering from an extreme case of embarrassment. I shouldn’t have come over last night. Sorry about that.”

“I liked that you did, and I want you to come over
again if
you want.” A wall begins to form around my heart, preparing me for rejection.

“I’ll be over in fifteen minutes.”

And he is.

When I open the door, he’s standing there in an old and wrinkled concert
T
-shirt and well-worn jeans and sneakers. The vibe between us is more organic, changing with every breath we take.

He steps inside
then
closes the door behind him.
N
o
words are
shared between us as he moves closer. I stay still, anticipation building. This is my chance. This is the time to tell him how I really feel. “Nick—”

He cups my face gently
and kisses me
as his strong arms hold me in place. He must not know how much I want to be here or realize how much I want us to happen.

When our kiss ends, we open our eyes. I’m out of breath and a bit stunned, but smiling. I’m in love with him, and my heart leaps realizing it’s finally time for us to be together.

“If you’re getting back with Alejandro, tell me now, Hayley.”

“What?” I ask, taken aback. “What are you talking about?” His words are confusing and oddly demanding.

His warm hands disappear from my cheeks and he begins pacing in front of me.
The
swiftness
of his words match the speed of his feet. “You need to realize that you don’t have to be with him. He doesn’t deserve you, and you shouldn’t settle. He never loved you like—”

I’m furious he’s ruining our moment.
“Like what? What are you talking about? I don’t understand why you’re even thinking about Alejandro. Why is he on your mind when you’re kissing me? I wasn’t thinking about Jennifer when I was kissing you!”

“Because you already know deep down nothing is going to happen with her. But what you don’t seem to know is that you’re better than Alejandro.” He raises his voice as anger seeps into his tone. “You should expect more than a guy who doesn’t even
care to
try to be the boyfriend you deserve. Why can’t you see that? He’s just the asshole who didn’t realize what he had until it was gone. Open your eyes, Hayley!”

I know this is coming from a place of concern. I can hear it in his words. He’s so caught up in what I
might
do that he’s not seeing what I
am
doing,
who
I’m choosing. “I may have originally thought we’d get back togeth—”

He takes me by the wrists, leans down until he’s eye-level with me, looks me straight in the eyes, and says, “You have other options.”

His words cut through the argument and hit me in the heart.
Options
. “I know what I want. My heart knows—”

“You don’t get it.” He sighs. His voice is soft now, the pain of us fighting, evident. “And I wonder if you ever will.” He shakes his head and walks to the door. With his back to me, hand on the knob, and head angled down, he says, “I’m going. I think we’ve said enough.”

I let him go, needing time to process what just happened and why we’re fighting. “My heart knows you’re the one.” I finish saying what I intended to, the words needing to be said even if it
i
s to a closed door. He’s seen me through countless, faceless relationships and he’s hated every last one of them. Just like I’ve never liked his girlfriends.

Well, I kind of liked Suzanne, but that’s different. They never got serious.

The cycle continues. Our relationship plays over in my head for hours until I rationalize all of my worries of admitting my feelings for him were based on what I feared the most—rejection. That’s what that fight was about. Those were his fears surfacing as well. He’s afraid I’ll pick Alejandro over him. I need to tell him everything. I’ll put myself out there to wipe his fears away. That’s what he needs, and I realize now that’s what he wanted. I phone him, oblivious to the unsocial time I’m calling.

“Hello?” His voice is tired, but I can tell he wasn’t sleeping.

“Can I come over?”

I hear him take a short and staggered breath. “Yes.”

Driving to his apartment takes no time, which is convenient now that I’ve decided to throw caution to the wind and risk everything to confess my love to my best friend of the last
seven
years.

The door opens and he smiles. It’s not huge, but it is reflective of the late hour and our current situation. “Hi,” he says then clears his throat to get the grogginess out.

“You said I have other options
.”
Now he’s the one confused
as I confess
. I move closer, keeping my focus on his face, unsure of his reaction. “
B
ut I’m here to tell you that you’re wrong. I don’t have other options.”

He gulps as he closes his eyes tightly then reopens them. They’re watery, so I decide to lay it all out there. I’ll expose my heart and my feelings for him because he deserves it. He’s worth the potential rejection.

I step forward, fist his shirt in my hands, and pull him closer. I’m relieved he doesn’t fight me. He doesn’t fight this draw between us. “There is no other option for me. There never has been.”

He raises his eyebrows and smirks. “Yeah?”

I nod. My heart is filled with love and my cheeks heat from the excitement of wanting to share it with him. I just hope beyond hope that he understands what I’m getting at.

Nick grabs me by the hips and smooshes me to him. “No other option, huh?”

“
You’re th
e only and the best.”

“Best friends?”

“The best of everything.” I take a deep breath. Here goes. “I don’t want to be just your best friend any more. I want more. I want to be your girlfriend and one day, I want to be more. I also don’t want to say the wrong thing here, so I’m going to shut up now.”

“You’re more than a girlfriend could ever be to me. You’re my world, and it’s the only world I want to live in.”

My heart thumps faster as he takes my hands. His Adam’s apple bounces from the two gulps he takes while moving closer.

“I want to kiss you now. I want to kiss you—”

“Good and proper?”

He chuckles. “Yes, absolutely. Good and proper like you deserve.” He wraps his arms around me. “I love you, Hayley. I’ve been in love with you for what feels like forever.”

Yes, it does feel like forever, because I love him a million times over. I blurt it out, not able to contain my excitement any longer. “I love you
,
too. I’ve always loved you so much.”

“You’ve always been the prettiest girl I’ve ever known. I think you’re the sexiest, too.”

“I like your honesty.”

“I like your everything,” he replies.

I tug him
even closer
as his lips almost touch mine. “Kiss me.”

He does, and it makes my whole body tingle.

The emotions of the moment overwhelm me.

“When did you start blushing?”

“It’s new, like us. The way you look at me makes me blush.”

“I’ll never look at you any differently. You’re the most beautiful woman to me.
You always have been.
”

I hear the sincerity in his tone when he says that. The playful banter we have, the teasing we do, I don’t hear that at all. He’s genuine and true, vulnerable to what the future holds for us, just like I am. I want to ask him so many questions, but it’s three in the morning and I’m coming down from the adrenaline rush of earlier. “Let’s go to bed,” I whisper.

“You work fast. Did I ever tell you I like fast girls?”

“You’re right.” I laugh as he kisses the top of my head. “Nine years might be moving a little too fast. Maybe we should slow it down a bit.”

Pressing his lips against m
y
ear, he whispers, “Never. I’m never going to take it slow with you.”

I turn and kiss him again, loving the feel of his lips against mine. “I’m counting on that.”

He picks me up, making me squeal, and carries me into the room where he gently places me on the end of the bed. “I want to do this, Hayley. I don’t want to build up to it. I want to cannonball right into the deep end of this relationship with you. I’m in love with you. I have been since you walked into freshman orientation in that white sundress.”

“You remember what I was wearing?”

“I’ll never forget.”

“You always did know exactly what to say to make me feel special.”

“They’re not just words. I need you to feel them like I do.” He sits down next to me and rests his hand on my thigh.

I kiss him on the cheek, letting my lips linger on his skin. “I want so much more with you, too.” I kiss him again
then
move down
to kiss him on the corner
of his mouth.

He weaves his fingers into my hair as he holds me there
. He closes his eyes,
enjoying this as much as I am. “Mmmm
.
”
When
I stand up
, he
fall
s sideways
onto the bed. “Don’t leave me,” he
say
s with his face against the blanket.

“I’m right here.” I situate myself at the top of the bed where I lean against the headboard.

He’s happy as he settles in next to me, but I see him watching my every move. “Come closer. I want to hold you,” he whispers. I move closer and so does he. We meet in the middle, something we’ve always been good at.

Words aren’t needed. I close my eyes and move forward until o
ur mouth
s meet again. His lips are soft, feeling, and loving. Everything I knew they always would be. But the kiss ends too soon.