Mosaic (36 page)

Looking up, she let out a laugh, remembering how they’d been in those days. She’d finally figured out what she wanted, and she wanted it right then. Immediately. No more waiting. He’d gone from trying everything to get in her pants to suddenly pushing her away. God, the frustrations of high school.

Her eyes climbed that old building and the lights were on in the top floor. Her breath stilled as she studied the lit penthouse office suite.
Was it possible—?

She didn’t worry about trying to figure it out. She ran back, all the way to the garage elevator, pushing the button repeatedly until the door opened. Riding up in the shiny silver box, she tried to sort all the feelings racing through her brain. She tried to tame her scattering emotions. She had no idea if he’d even be up there—if she could even get in. They didn’t leave the offices open at night. It was most likely the cleaning service.

The doors opened on the familiar reception area, and she stepped out into the waiting room. Sure enough, a friendly group of cleaners were in the space, vacuuming carpets and dusting tables, emptying trash cans. She dropped her head as the crew studied her curiously, as if she were trespassing on their property.

A lone woman stepped toward her. She only spoke Spanish, but she gestured toward Julian’s door with a frown. “
Esta buscando el senor
?”

“Is someone in there?” Anna asked, knowing the woman didn’t understand her.

Still, she walked toward the large door and reached for the handle. It gave in to her grasp, and she pushed it open, stepping into his enormous workspace.

The sight of him hit her hard, straight to the stomach. He was sitting at his desk, wearing a familiar navy suit and white shirt. His top button was open, but tonight there was no tie.

Almost seventeen years had passed since she’d seen him that last night, but little had changed. A few hints of gray peeked out at his temples. A few lines had deepened at the corner of his eyes, but otherwise, he was exactly the same.

“I waited all day for you to come.” He spoke without looking up.

She walked toward his desk carefully, bracing for the onslaught of those eyes. In a blink he captured her, but at the same time, she could see the surprise register briefly. Perhaps she captured him as well?

“I did. I was here earlier, but you’d already gone.” Her voice was softer, slightly higher in contrast to his. She’d never noticed it before.

He glanced down and nodded. “I left early. Needed to talk to Dad.”

She couldn’t tell what he was thinking, but she knew why she was here. “You weren’t at the reception tonight. I thought we might talk there—”

“Is there something you need to tell me?” He was holding himself back, but she didn’t know that. He wanted, no needed to know what she would say.

Chewing her lip, she walked toward the window. He knew she couldn’t see out in the darkness, but he studied her while her back was turned.

She was slimmer than before. Her legs seemed longer somehow—maybe it was the dress? Her hair was even different. He’d always loved her wild curls, but tonight they were soft. They hung down her back in gentle waves that invited him to bury his face in them, inhaling the little flower scent he loved.

When she finally turned to him again, he wondered how he’d ever missed those shoulders. They were smooth and gorgeous, and her eyes flashed above perfect cheekbones.

“I don’t know how to start.” She was more confident now as well. “I have so many things I need to tell you.”

“Just say the first thing that comes to mind.” He leaned back in his chair watching her think. It reminded him of when he used to watch her in class. Tonight she was so grown up, but at the same time, he still saw that teenage girl who captivated his imagination.

“I guess for starters… How are you?” She smiled, and it caught him off guard.

“I’m doing well. How are you?”

“Okay, I guess.” She looked down, and turned back to the window. “I kept up with you… some. Sometimes I would let months go by, but then I’d get too curious. You’ve done very well here.”

He held back a smile. He’d followed every report of her brilliant career as well. She’d stayed behind the scenes in production—writing and putting stories together, guiding the reporters. She’d risen through the ranks all the way to News Director, but she’d stayed off the social circuit. He’d only ever gotten a posed headshot, and the occasional almost-miss at some function. It must have driven her bosses crazy as smart and beautiful as she was.

“I’ve thought about that night so many times, all the things we said.” She faced him again. “You were right. There were parts, small parts, I didn’t tell you.”

“I believe that was why we ended up fighting. I think it was even part of the reason you left.”

“It wasn’t the reason I left.” She rubbed her hand across her chin. A new gesture. “I was so preoccupied back then with school and JYA and London, but all I thought about was you. I was studying to be a professional communicator, and I sucked at communication.”

“Can I fix you a drink?” He motioned toward the small table.

“No. Thanks.” She was momentarily flustered, and he wished he hadn’t interrupted.

“Please continue.”

“I didn’t come here to make a speech.” Those green eyes flashed at him, and he caught his tongue between his teeth.
Hazel
.

“Why did you come here?”

She reached back to catch her hair. A familiar gesture. “I wanted to see you alone first because… well, I do have one secret I’ve been keeping. But now I think you already know what it is.”

They’d arrived at the truth at last. “Tell me what it is, and if I already know it, I’ll pretend to be surprised.”

Her lips twisted into a frown. “Are you making fun of me?”

The strength in her was intoxicating. He remembered the feel of those lips. Was it possible kissing her would be the same? Watching her now, he was pretty sure it would be better.

“I’m sorry. I was trying to lighten the mood.” He stood then, taking a step toward her. She took a step backwards, so he changed courses, going to the table. “You just seem a little flustered. I was going to fix myself a scotch. You can have one.”

“I don’t like scotch. I never have since…”

He glanced up at her wide eyes. “Since when?”

“Since the night of your accident.” Her voice grew quiet. “When we thought you might die.”

“Wasn’t that also the night you found out about my parents? It was a pretty significant date.”

It was the night she’d first told him she loved him, she recalled, although he was unconscious at the time. He’d told her the same thing, but she’d run away. Again, stupid girl. She wasn’t that person anymore, and she wouldn’t feel that way in front of him now.

“I came here to tell you something, but before I do… that last night you said something to me. You said ‘The camera always loved me.’ Why did you say that?”

His brow lined. “I don’t remember. It was a long time ago.”

“I know, it was, but you don’t have any idea where you might have heard it? You’d never said anything like that to me before. It wasn’t your style.”

“I honestly don’t know.” He took a sip of his drink. “But isn’t it obvious? You’re beautiful.”

She shook her head. “Thank you, but that isn’t why I’m asking. I’ve admitted I didn’t communicate well. I didn’t tell you things as quickly as I should’ve, but I wasn’t trying to hide it from you. Once I’d figured out how to say it, or once we were together again, I would tell you. The problem was you already knew. How did you know? Were you spying on me?”

He straightened, the look on his face incredulous. She knew the answer to this question, but she had to lead him there for him to see it, too.

“God, no. Why would I spy on you?”

“Then how did you already know? How did you know about everything when I hadn’t told you?”

He exhaled and walked back to his chair to sit. This wasn’t the walk down memory lane he’d wanted to take. That year had been gut-wrenching for him. “I would get texts from ‘A Friend,’ photos of you and him.”

“You didn’t know who sent them?”

“I didn’t care to know. All I cared about was you, and you weren’t telling me anything. Whoever it was had my number. I assumed it was Brad or Rachel.” He put the scotch on his desk. “I was too angry to worry about who it was.”

“I was so confused and hurt.” Her fingers were laced, and she pulled her hand up to look at it. No rings were there. “I trusted you so much. It never occurred to me that you might not trust me.”

“I trusted you.” He studied his hand on the glass, and the little dragonfly he’d inked beside his thumb all those years ago. “You didn’t have the best track record when it came to him.”

“You’re right. And I guess it was because of that track record, I was afraid of what you might think, of how you might misinterpret things… and we were so far apart. But I’d promised to tell you everything.”

In his mind he was back in that isolated place in college. He was working so hard, and all he saw was their future crumbling away. “We were the only thing I believed in back then. My family was a disaster, my mom had taken away my trust. You were the one thing I counted on, and then you were gone.”

“I was never gone. I was angry at you for giving up on us.” She had moved closer. He hadn’t noticed, but she was slowly walking in his direction. “Still, as I look back, I realize I gave up, too. I left us behind.”

His eyes flashed to hers across the desk. “You didn’t.” The memory of that night had always been like a knife jab over and over to the chest. It was an open wound that would slowly kill him. “I had the bruises to prove it.”

“But it wasn’t the truth,” she said quietly.

Silence filled the office for a moment. He’d always known there was a possibility she’d find out about his lie. He wasn’t sure she’d want to talk about the reason they parted, but he should’ve known as different as she was now, she wouldn’t leave any stone unturned.

He said the only thing left. “We have a daughter.”

She looked down, placing her fingers on the glossy desktop.

“Were you alone when you had her?” His voice was steady. He wasn’t ready to let her know the pain that thought caused him. Her alone in a foreign country, him not there for the birth of his first child.

“My parents were there.”

“I wish I had known.” He lifted the glass and took a sip. “I’d like to know her now.”

“Of course.” Again those hazel eyes flashed to his. “I wouldn’t have kept her from you, it was just, you were so different. I thought…”

She didn’t have to finish. He knew what she thought, and while he could be angry at so many people in this scenario, he could never be angry with her.

“Then I guess I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

Without a word, she turned and left his office. Just like that, she was gone and all the lies that had kept them apart were on the table. Only where did that leave them now?

He wanted to go to her, but it had been so long. He didn’t have the right to barge in on this woman who’d occupied his office like the force she had become. At the same time, what had brought her here if not some desire to mend the past? Was it only to tell him the truth about their child?

Riding down in the elevator, her insides were a mixture of relief and misery. The secrets had been revealed, and now they both knew the truth. Everything that had come between them was now out in the open. Correction, all but one thing.

She couldn’t go back to her parents’ home yet. She remembered her daughter there upset, but she knew what she was doing here was just as important, possibly more. She walked out to the beach and stood in the pavilion as the mist grew thicker in the air. Her heart beat pain through her chest with every pulse, and the stress of all the years of loneliness and longing sent tears spilling from her eyes.

Without thinking about it, she started walking. She knew the way from the summers they’d spent running down here. It wasn’t far, and it was the only place she wanted to be.

The rain was growing steadier. Her dress was wet, and her hair was ruined. The short distance was covered, and she looked up at the cottage. Rain mixed with the tears on her cheeks. It was dark and quiet. The garage door was closed. She wondered if the door opened, would she find his studio? Would the easel still be there? From their first night to prom night to the summer before she left for New Orleans, so much of their history was bound up in this place.

Still, it has been seventeen years. She didn’t even know if he still owned the property. It was a foolish dream.

Turning back, she looked up and saw a figure in the dim glow of the streetlights. It was too far to make out if it was a male or female, or if the person was even coming her direction. She stood and watched, heaviness pushing down on her lungs. That old, familiar cramp in her stomach.

After a few moments, the person was closer, and she could tell it was a man. It was Julian. He didn’t have on his coat, and his white shirt and slacks were soaked. He was walking fast, without looking up. Why hadn’t he driven?

When he saw her, he stopped. “What are you doing here?”

It was all she could do to speak. “I needed to walk. I wanted to walk, and I guess… I wanted to come here.”