Mostly Dead (Barely Alive #3) (9 page)

Maybe she was the superhero
, which meant, since I had the virus and I had done things I wasn’t supposed to, maybe I was her archenemy. Her nemesis.

That loved her.

Of course, why wouldn’t that work? Because I couldn’t hurt her. I loved her. And enemies hated each other.

“I think we should warn the people in Coeur d’Alene.” Heather scrunched her nose, like she thought I wouldn’t like the idea.

I couldn’t deny her much. The last thing I wanted to do with hours left was fight. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Her eyebrows squeezed together but her lips smiled.

“Yeah, okay. Let’s go warn them.” Over my shoulder, to the woman – I still hadn’t gotten her name – I called, “You guys go straight through the city and head north. Get over the long ass bridge that goes over Pend Oreille Lake and you’re in Sandpoint.”

She waved her hand in my direction and led the two other cars toward town.

James and I waited for Heather to join us. That high on a bridge, we didn’t have to worry zombies would spring out at us from the woods. Only smoky air surrounded us. We could almost pretend everything was normal. Almost.

“You always want to act like things aren’t what they are.” James’s grumbled words surprised me.

I angled my body to see him better. “You seriously want to stay like this? I don’t. Whether that means being cured or dying in a fire, I can’t stay in this body, craving everything that breathes.”

He threw his hands in the
air, letting them crash to the tops of his thighs. He leaned forward, the bike leaning with him. “Why? Why can’t we stay like this? We just need to make sure we eat regularly. I don’t see a problem. I read this book once about a vampire that lived off animals and actually had a pretty good life.” He grunted. “I’m sick and tired of you complaining.”

“I’m not complaining about anything.” The flipping nerve.

“No? Almost every other thought, you’re whining like a baby. It’s getting old. Stop.” He bit the words off like they were hard to chew.

M
y throat closed on the words… the memories. “You haven’t seen the same things I have. Be glad for that. You don’t understand what happens to us.” I couldn’t look him in the face. I didn’t want to picture how his features would look after a few more weeks. “We can’t keep our bodies alive. They die. Our brains don’t. Do you hear me? You literally fall apart around your brain. No matter how
much
you eat. And
all
you want to do is eat. That’s it. But you never eat enough and your body dies. The only way to die altogether is by burning in fire.”

“
No it makes sense. I kept asking myself why you’re thinking about making a bonfire when we reach Sandpoint.” James shook his head, disbelief narrowing his eyes. “You’re going to kill yourself? That’s just great, Paul. Exactly what we need.”

I slapped my hand on the side of the bike. The sting
did little to ease my abrupt anger. “Damn it. Are you going to be able to shovel me into a furnace after I can’t move anymore? After my tendons and ligaments don’t work right because my muscles have either fallen off or I’ve eaten them? Are you? Are you going to apologize to Mom for the last few times she’s been around me, I’ve tried eating her? I can’t talk? All I can do is groan and grunt because I ate my tongue?”

He jerked back, shock rippling across his face.

My breaths came short and fast, but I couldn’t stop. All of my worries over the last few weeks poured forth and he wasn’t safe. “If I don’t do it… If I don’t take care of myself, you’ll never know that I’m still in trapped in my brain, watching the world around me, and I can’t interact. Do you get that?” I held up my graying hands. “This? This shit is just the start. Once I’m completely gray, parts will start turning black. My heart will stop. My breathing will only be habit and I’ll rattle.” I spit the last word.

James hung his head,
breaking eye contact.

My hands shook. At least adrenaline still pumped through me.

Heather laid her hand on my arm. I’d forgotten she was there. A first for me since my world seemed to revolve around her. Tears filled her eyes. “You’re dying? For real?”

Had she thought I was teasing
? “Not something I’d joke about.” But the words didn’t come out sarcastic or sharp. They were fuzzy and soft and I don’t even think James heard them.

She squeezed the upper part of my bicep
, reading something in my eyes that allowed the tears to drop from hers. “Do you know how long you have?”

I swallowed, my tongue worked like solid sand. “Maybe a day? Not much more, even if I eat human.” Tell her. Tell her. I couldn’t drag the words from my mouth that I’d already eat
en people – twice. She had to know. I didn’t want to die with truths like that hidden away. Somehow she had to know.

James coughed.

Heather glanced at my brother.

He spoke slow
ly. “I think Paul wants to tell you something, but he can’t.”

I stared at the black pavement where it met the gray guardrail.
I couldn’t decide which was more humiliating, me standing there like an ass or my brother confessing for me like I was a pussy. Great.

He continued. “Um, well, he ate meat when he was with Dominic. And… again, after, when he was with Brian.”

She didn’t remove her hand from me, but she slid her fingers down to my wrist. “I don’t understand. He’s eaten meat with us since Vegas.”

“Not this kind of meat.” He rushed on, as if
he could feel my urgency and shame. “He didn’t feed it to himself. He didn’t choose to eat them. Dominic and Brian fed him the meat. He didn’t kill the girl or the old man.”

Heather jerked her fingers from me. I couldn’t look at her.

James didn’t stop. “He didn’t want to, but he would’ve died. He didn’t have control over himself.” He shrugged and met my gaze. “I don’t know that I wouldn’t have done the same thing with less incentive. Meat is meat, man.”

I peeked at Heather.

Anger flushed her smooth skin. Her lips puckered tight. She finally loosened them to shout at James. “Meat is meat? Are you shitting me?”

T
he word seemed off for how I’d pictured Heather for so long. I’d never heard her cuss. Not sure what it meant about me as a guy, but her crass language was hot with how out of place it was for her. “So, what, James? Why not eat me now and get it over with? I’m the same as a stupid deer, right? You’re both idiots. Both of you!” She pointed her finger in my face and then in James’s direction. She crossed her arms and faced the lake, her shoulders tight and square.

Um, I had no idea how I’d been lumped in with James. I hadn’t said anything. And maybe that was why she was mad.

James inched his bike from beside me. He spoke low, his words chilly. “Don’t turn away from me when you make an accusation like that. You’re a stupid, spoiled
girl
. Do you have any idea what the hell we’re dealing with? Do you?”

Heather faced us, her face frozen in mask.

My brother jerked his head my direction. “Paul is the only reason I
don’t
eat you. Brian and I didn’t have the issues with eating human like Paul does. Me? I don’t care. I’m not blinded as I dream about a cure. There is no cure. You’re nothing
special
.” His neck muscles corded and he strained against the anger and injustice. I could taste his bitterness like soy sauce. He whispered, “I’m dying. I’m only sixteen. Do you think that’s fair? I don’t. So, hell, no, I don’t care about different meats. I don’t care. But Paul does. And I care about him.” He started his bike and rolled a few feet away, his anger lingering on the air, mingling with the sweet exhaust and salty smoke.

We really didn’t have time for a meltdown
– from either of them – but I didn’t know how to stop it. So many pent up frustrations that I hadn’t had any idea about. Heather probably didn’t want to sit with me since I’d recently had human. She had to hate me. Or be so disappointed in me that she couldn’t look my way. And I didn’t blame her. If there were a mirror around, I’d avoid the hell out of it.

James’s words had a sting of truth to them. Things I hadn’t realized I’d been secretly thinking as well. And some things I hadn’t considered.

I didn’t like myself much anyway.

“Come on. We have people to warn.”
I kicked over the engine and waited for Heather to make her move.

Heather waited another ten seconds. Then she climbed on the bike behind me, but she held on to the sides of my waist rather than wrap her arms around me.

I narrowed my eyes. Alright. That was fine. I was going to die the next day or so anyway. Better that she distance herself now. Not the first time I’d tried convincing myself that separating the two of us would be better in the long run, but hopefully it’d be the last.

The ride into town took about seven minutes. We roared up the
Highway 95 exit. Not one person walked around. The people begging for attention with the signs we’d seen on the way south were absent.

James’s face reflected my worry. If the
people hadn’t made it in Coeur d’Alene, the likelihood that Sandpoint was safe was slim.

I turned in the direction of the large blue hospital marked with a long sign calling out Kootenai Medical Center. Staff would have to know, they couldn’t abandon patients. Although, if the virus had made it up that far, the patie
nts were lunch laid out for zombies and so were the staff.

We’d have to take
our chances, if warning the living was an option.

The
empty port a cache promised valets with a sign on the wall, but none were there. Not many cars in the small parking lot either. Heather didn’t speak to me as we got off the bikes. James arched his brow my way. I shrugged. “We need to know if there are people here. If not, where did they all go?”

Walking in, James leaned to me and whispered, “Do you think I could bite a zombie and have mind control over it like you and Dominic do?”

“I don’t know. You want to bite a zombie and see if it works?” I offered him a sly smile. He’d get my teasing. Even in the oddest moments, I could pretend for the span of a breath that everything was normal – taunt my baby brother like we did walking to school.

Inside, the abandoned receptionists’ desk welcomed us with a cold hello. No one in the waiting room. The ER was empty, too.

A foreboding sensation covered me. Nothing living in the area usually meant the undead had eaten their way through.

Tall and off-balance, a
woman emerged from behind a wall, licking her fingers. I jumped.
Great.
She smiled. “Can I help you?” It wasn’t blood, like I’d assumed. The scent of chocolate reached me.

I relaxed. “Do you have any idea where everyone is?”
I pointed a finger over my shoulder. “I mean in town?”

She nodded and finished swallowing the bite in her mouth. “Excuse me. Just a donut. I skipped breakfast.” She pulled a map from a pile of pamphlets and spread it on the table in front of her. We edged closer. She pointed to Coeur d’Alene and then followed the red line up to Sandpoint with her
French-tipped fingernail. “Take this highway north. Once you’re in town, follow the orange signs to the Bonner County Hospital. The vaccines are being given there.” She glanced at the wall clock. She held up her fingers and crooked them, creating visual quotation marks in the air. “The news said we didn’t have much time before we would be ‘invaded’. But if you ask me, it’s all just a hoax.”

They’d already started vaccinating a large number of the population. Heather beat me to the question. “Did you get yours?”

A wink from the woman and a thrusting of her hip. “Of course. Why do you think I missed breakfast?” The phone rang and she held up her finger. “Kootenai Medical, can I help you?”

W
e turned from the receptionist. The vaccinations had already started. The shot wouldn’t keep a person from becoming dinner, but the vaccine would prevent that person from eating someone else. Twisted, but a vaccine could have a dual purpose – protection not only for the one vaccinated, it also meant preventing the passing of the strain. Maybe it would even help hold off evolution of the virus.

A zombie could hope.

Happiness spread across my face and I couldn’t keep the bounce from my step.

“This doesn’t mean we’re safe. Or that
anyone
is safe.” James walked beside me, his face serious and sour.

“Don’t be so negative. I know what it
doesn’t
mean. But do you know what it
does
mean? It means…” I couldn’t express my excitement that I wouldn’t have to watch anymore people eat their family members. The cars filled with kids and wives eaten by their dads and husbands sprang to mind. A picture of Brian eating his mother followed. I settled on a more selfish reason. “We might get our army.”

“Army?” Heather questioned me reluctantly. Her arms had to ache with how tight she held them over her stomach.

I didn’t begrudge her the anger. I understood it. I was mad at me, too. But few hours remained of my life and I couldn’t hide from the eventuality even if I wanted to. “Yeah. Dominic is headed toward Sandpoint to get you and the Duncans. And me. If I’m still alive.” At least my death would prevent Dominic from getting his control for his experiments. Or whatever he wanted from me. “I wanted to have as many people vaccinated as possible so we stand a chance of beating Dominic’s zombies. We could fight them, but if we have to worry about being bitten and catching the virus, odds won’t be in our favor.”