Mother's Promise (47 page)

It had been a long time since Ben had spent any real time with his father. When he'd gone home for his mom's funeral, there had always been people around and he hadn't stayed long. But being back in his childhood home with Sharon and her family made things easier somehow. For one thing, his father doted on Sally, and from all evidence the feeling was mutual.

The man he watched with Sally was not at all the man he remembered parenting him.

“You doing okay with the change in hospitals, son?” his dad asked one day as the two of them sat at the kitchen table eating lunch. Sharon and Malcolm had taken Sally shopping, and for the first time Ben found himself alone with his father.

“Yeah. It's good.”

“Maybe now you'll think about settling down—raising a family?”

“I think about it.”

“Good, because you'd make a good parent—not like me. You've got more patience than I did—and you're not as scared.”

It was an odd thing for him to say, and for a minute Ben was at a loss for words. Uncomfortable with the situation, he laughed. “You? Scared?”

His father pinned him with those ice-blue eyes that so often had seemed to expect more than Ben could give. “Scared,” he repeated, and Ben realized that those eyes weren't nearly as cold and penetrating as he'd remembered them.

“Of what?”

“Failing.”

“You were the senior minister of one of the largest churches in the state,” Ben reminded him.

His father waved his hand impatiently. “Not at my work. At home—right here. With you and your sister.”

Ben was speechless. “I never knew,” he said. “I mean, Dad, you were always so …”

“I know.” He turned away and stared out the window. “I'm sorry, son. I really thought that I needed to be that way if you were going to be stronger than I was. But I see now that in many ways I still failed you.”

“How can you say that? I have a successful practice, friends—a good life.”

“And I'm proud of you, but I want more for you than a career. I want you to have faith. I want you to have a wife and family. I want so much for you, son.” His father stood up and took his dishes to the sink. “Those things are the keys, son. I was never able to make you see that.” He stood at the sink with his back to Ben, letting the water run.

When Ben saw the older man's shoulders start to shake, he went to him and placed his hand on his father's back, noticing for the first time how old and frail he'd grown in these last years. “You didn't fail me, Dad. If anything, I failed you.”

“I wanted so much for you kids….”

“We have it, Dad. Look around you. Sally alone is reason enough for you to believe that you and Mom did everything …”

“I miss her so much,” he blubbered. “She was the rock in this house.”

Ben was desperate to say anything that might give his father some comfort. “I was thinking maybe, if you feel up to it, we might all go for midnight services tonight. Remember how much Mom loved that?”

His father sniffed back the last of his tears and nodded. “I haven't been able to go since she passed.”

“We'll go together—all of us—exactly like we did when you were in the pulpit.”

And to his astonishment his father turned and gripped him in a bear hug. “I love you, son. Sally tells me I don't say that enough so I'll say it twice. I love you, and I couldn't be more proud of the way you've turned out.”

Out of the mouths of babes,
Ben thought as he returned his father's embrace. “Love you too, Dad.”

And he realized that he truly did.

On New Year's Eve Rachel got a call from the hospital. It was so good to be back. She thanked God every day for the blessing of her work. She finished counseling the couple whose son was going into surgery and was escorting them to the waiting room when she saw Ben waiting for her.

“Do you have a minute?” he asked.

She nodded and said a few last words to the couple then returned to the chapel. Ben closed the door and leaned against it. “Hi. You're back.”

“I am.”

“To stay?”

“It was Justin's idea.” She moved around the room, straightening the cushions and putting away some materials in the small closet. “Eileen tells me that you went to visit your father over the holidays.”

“I did.”

“How did that go?”

“We made our peace—found our way.”

“I'm glad for you—and your father.”

“I told him about you. He'd like to meet you, and Justin of course.”

“You should invite him here for a visit.”

She felt shy with him and was well aware that their conversation was stiff and uncomfortable.

“How's your arm?”

She glanced down at the cast. “It'll heal.” She had run out of things to do and started to open the door.

But he took her hand between his to stop her from going. She did not pull away—or look up. “I missed you.”

“I'm happy to be back here with everyone.”

“Not working with you—although I missed that. I missed
you
, Rachel.”

She pulled her hand free of his and placed her palm against his cheek. “I missed you as well.”

He smiled. “Ever hear of the song lyrics, ‘What are you doing New Year's Eve?' ”

“Is that a question?”

“It's an invitation—to spend some time with me—to welcome in the New Year together.”

“I promised Justin …,” she murmured then shook her head.

“What? You promised Justin what?”

“Oh Ben, he misses his father and he has built up this idea—this fantasy—about you and me.”

Ben covered her hand still resting lightly against his cheek and pulled it away so that he could kiss her palm. “Then it would seem that Justin and I are on the same page. I love you, Rachel. The one thing I realized when I saw my father was that I had allowed too much time to pass—lost too many chances to build memories with him—to know the man he is and the man he helped me become in spite of what I once thought. And then when I heard about you in that hole and realized that I might have lost you forever …”

Her eyes glistened with tears, but she was smiling. It was a little like seeing a rainbow through the clouds. “So?” he pressed. “You—me—Justin? A New Year and a new beginning?”

“Yes,” she whispered as she stood on tiptoe and kissed him gently.

Ben drew her closer and deepened their kiss. “I love you, Rachel,” he said. “I don't know how we're going to work things out, but that's a fact.”

She pulled a little away and stroked his hair away from his forehead. “And we both know that facts are very important to you, Dr. Booker. But I'm curious. Facts must be provable. How do you intend to prove this one?”

He smiled. “I've learned that there are some things it seems even a doctor has to accept—on faith.”

Epilogue

A
lot of stuff changed after Justin and his mom got home from Costa Rica. She went back to work at the hospital and seemed happier than he'd seen her in a long time. Dr. Booker—Ben—started coming around just about every day. He even started attending services at the bigger Mennonite church where Justin had joined the youth group and made several new friends.

Then one day his mom asked him how he would feel if they both started going to that church regularly. She had made some friends there, the couple whose daughter had been killed in the car accident, for one. Next thing Justin knew, it was him, his mom, and Ben going there together just about every Sunday—unless Ben had to be at the hospital or his mom got a call.

After church, they would head over to Hester and John's place for a big lunch. Then one day Ben suggested they stop by his sister's house—Sally's house. That was pretty awkward at first, but then they were all sitting around the swimming pool and all of a sudden Sally pushed him in.

He came up sputtering and saw that everybody was laughing—even his mom had a smile on her face.

“That's for not trusting me to be your one true friend when you first got here,” Sally said.

Justin had made his way to the side of the pool where she was standing, hands on her hips, looking pretty healthy for a kid that had been through everything she'd been through. He squinted up at her. “Hey, I apologized for that,” he reminded her. “I put it in writing.”

She grinned and squatted down to offer him a hand so he could get out of the pool. “Okay, so now we're friends?”

“Not quite,” Justin said, taking her hand and pulling her into the water. He waited until she came to the surface, sputtering the way he had, with all the adults laughing at them. “
Now
we're friends.”

But the most amazing change of all was the day that Ben asked him to go fishing with him.

“You mean just you and me?”

“Yeah. I've got something I want to talk over with you.”

Justin wasn't sure where this conversation was headed so he simply shrugged. “Okay.”

On the way to the park at the south end of Lido Key Ben asked him all about the trip to Costa Rica. While they staked out a spot on the pass that led from the bay to the Gulf and set up their equipment, Ben continued to praise Justin for the courage he had shown in deciding to join the mission.

“I'd do it again,” Justin told him.

“Maybe next time I could go with you,” Ben said.

“Sure.”

They fished for a while in silence. A great blue heron stood a few feet to Justin's right, keeping an eye out for any possibility of snaring a baitfish. A motorboat came by, and the people on it waved like they were in a parade or something. And Justin was aware that Ben kept glancing over at him—like he had something to say but wasn't sure how to say it. Finally, he cleared his throat and slowly reeled in his line.

“Justin? What would you think about the idea that maybe your mom and I—I mean one day—might get married?”

Justin felt a grin start to spread across his face. “For real? Like we'd be a real family and everything?”

He liked the way Ben laughed. It was a sound that came from somewhere deep inside him. He liked it even better when Ben reached over and ruffled his hair, the way his dad used to do when he was pleased with something Justin had done or said.

Justin thought about the promise his mom had made him when they'd left Ohio—the promise he had thrown back at her on a couple of occasions. If his mom and Ben got married they'd be a family again. “Did you ask her yet?”

“Sort of. But not officially. First I wanted to ask you how you'd feel about it.”

Justin was suddenly cautious about saying too much before he had a chance to talk to his mom about how she felt. “I'm pretty sure she'll say yes.”

“What do
you
say?”

“I guess it could work.”

Ben offered him a handshake—an actual grown-up handshake—and Justin accepted. “We're going to be okay,” Ben said as he cast his line far out into the water. He was smiling.