Motown Takedown (Motown Down Book 3) (32 page)

Had she been given a normal childhood, there was no doubt in my mind she could have become a model or movie star. Even without the effects of makeup she was unreal to look at. With makeup she was beyond remarkable. There was nothing about her that didn’t defy the laws of beauty. Watching her now, I find myself rubbing the place over my heart because it’s beating almost painfully. This woman was my everything.

So when she faced me after sliding the dress over her skin, I told her the absolute truth. “You wreck me.”

“In a good way?
”
she asks coming to stand in front of me.

“Scares the shit out of me, Cinn.”

“You wreck me too, Eros.”

“Why me?
”
I ask gripping her firm hips. “Why’d you wait for me? Endure hell to get to me? Why didn’t you run?”

“That’s a lot of whys,
”
she says running her hands up my chest. “I think the better question is, why not?”

“I can give you a fucking list of why nots,
”
I mumble.

“You’re doubting this again,
”
she says wrapping her arms around my neck. “So I’m going to put an end to it right now. I saw something in you that was worth waiting for, worth enduring hell for and running was pointless because we both knew I’d always end up here anyway. You are the only person in my life that’s seen beyond the flesh. You see my heart and I see yours. I’d do it all over again, every hellish second, to be right here, right now.”

“If I could, I’d keep you caged, Cinn. I’m that insane for you. The thought of harm coming to you makes you hating me worth the risk. This is a battle for me. Because my criminal mind says lock her down while my beating heart says let her fly free.”

“Until things calm, I’ll stay close,
”
she promises. “If it eases you, I’ll gladly do it. But do not take my choices away.  I’m a criminal too, Eros, and not without skill. Just say you’ll work with me, that we’ll rule together. That’s all I ask.”

“What my queen wants, my queen gets,
”
I breathe into her neck. My words seemed to please her and I should have been satisfied with that. But I wasn’t because I knew I was full of shit.

Rogan was in my ear telling me to fucking relax. Max was in my ear explaining this shit was commonplace. Tony was in my ear asking about business. Rafe was saying some shit no English-speaking person would ever understand. Rome and Gage, however, were watching their women with worry on their faces. Apparently, this was still new to them. Rome struggled the most because his wife was upfront and a serious show stopper. Camo was plain crazy and it wasn’t that Gage worried for her safety, I think he was worried about the safety of others.

So when he leaned in and asked how I was, I did not lie. “It doesn’t bother you that men covet what you treasure?”

“No,
”
he says evenly. “Because she covets me. Although, the men aren’t looking at my woman, Monarch. They’re looking at yours.”

“I’ll never get used to it,
”
I admit. “But if I could kill someone, it might take the edge off.”

“My advice?
”
Rome asks taking my side. “Enjoy the show, man, because your woman sees one man. You.”

“Oh fuck,
”
Rome groans when the music starts. “Not this song…”

“Oh…shit…
”
Gage says moving forward.

The other guys didn’t give one shit one way or the other, for them, this was any other night. But I wasn’t into music, never had been and I didn’t do clubs either. So I asked, “What?”

“Joan Jett,
”
Rome mutters but did so grinning.

“Prepare,
”
Gage says moving and I follow his lead. Standing close to the stage, I had no problem with the way shit was going while Kandace sang. The girls did back up and Cinn wasn’t overtly sexual. Until
…
Kandace handed her the fucking mic. Then I had a problem. A crowd full of them.

“Do women fucking rehearse this shit?
”
Gage asks.

“Naw,
”
Rome says frowning. “I think that shit’s instinctual. Kandace calls it the sisterhood.”

“I’m going to kill someone,
”
I growl.

“Yep,
”
Rome nods.

My fucking woman was grinding, thrusting, touching herself and chanting
do you wanna touch
…
All while her eyes were on me. The crowd wasn’t following her eyes or picking up on her cues, they were watching and lusting for what was mine. As the girls passed the mic, each taking a turn my woman’s moves got bolder and bolder. So much so, security was pushing the crowd back. This felt like the longest song ever performed but in reality, it didn’t last more than a few minutes. Right at the end, Cinn ran her hands from her thighs up and over her stomach ending with squeezing her breasts, chanting once again,
do you wanna touch, do you wanna touch, do you wanna touch me there…

Kandace drops the mic and the females all bump fists before turning to leave the stage. With a smile meant only for me, Cinn hits the steps and I move to meet her half way when some unknown male wanting her attention grabs her arm. Her bad arm. Letting out a wail, her knee comes up to greet the guy’s balls and defend herself. Eating up the distance, I take him by throat with one arm and wrap my fingers around his neck putting pressure on his windpipe. Cradling her arm, I see the unshed tears in her eyes and decided choking was too easy. Instead I started beating him with a closed fist. I continued to do this until Gage and Max asked me to step away. Reluctantly I did and the only reason I did was to get to Cinn.

Max signals Jules who yells, “On it,
”
as she parts the crowd. Venessa, Macy, and Lina come to Cinn’s side while Kandace holds Camo back from killing the guy. “How bad?
”
I ask her.

“Just burns,
”
she says fighting the pain. “I’m okay.”

“Let’s go find Jules before we go,
”
I say taking her hand. “I should probably apologize.”

“I need to pee,
”
she says absently which meant a pit stop. Giving our goodbyes, I keep her close to me and wait outside the door while she uses the bathroom. And because the night had already went to shit, Cinn’s reaction to the drunk female trying to flirt with me went over as expected. With the drunk female sprawled out bleeding on the tile after Cinn gave her an uppercut any man could be proud of, I ask her. “Now can we go see Jules?”

“
You
can apologize,
”
she sniffs. “She’s knows better than to expect me to do it.”

Turns out, she was right. Jules’ explanation was simple and to the point. She said people come here hoping to either watch a fight, be a part of a fight or start one. Then she laughed and said “Most nights they get all three, we like that kind of shit around here.
”

Jules was a woman to admire.

He was holding my hand tight in his grip. At the light he looks down at my arm and frowns. “You okay?
”
he asks fighting back his anger.

“I’m fine,
”
I promise him. “Are you okay?”

“Saw him touch you and snapped, Cinn.”

“It’s a shame Jules doesn’t condone murder or there would have been two dead bodies tonight, Monarch.”

“Joan Jett,
”
he says looking ahead. “She make a lot of music?”

“She used to,
”
I say facing him. “Why?”

“Because we’re buying all of it,
”
he grunts. “You can karaoke that shit all fucking day, Cinn, and I ain’t gonna mind.”

“You liked my performance?
”
I ask wagging my eyebrows.

“Loved it,
”
he grins. “Love everything you do.”

“I love everything you do too, Eros.”

Monarch was getting the boys situated in their new rooms. For the short term, they were bunk-style but none of them cared one bit. Those four never liked being apart anyway and though Monarch didn’t admit to it, I think he set up the bunks that way on purpose. While he did that, I undressed and slid my robe on while Ares licked my toes. Rubbing his belly, I look for my phone wondering where I left it. Demo was supposed to get back to me with news and I was too preoccupied with a night out to take it with me. When I realized I dropped it on the counter on the way in, I brought Ares along to get it.

Entering the kitchen, I enjoy the view of Monarch’s thick back from the door. The man was broad and so strong sometimes I had to pinch myself that he was real. Coming up behind him, phone forgotten, I wrap my arms around his middle and ask him, “The boys settled?
”
to which he says nothing. He doesn’t acknowledge me in any way. “Eros?”

Breaking my hold, he faces me but doesn’t look at me. No. His eyes were on my phone in his hand and his stance made it clear I should move back. Ignoring the pain in my arm, I try getting his attention again. But the longer he stares the angrier he gets. That’s when I knew he’d read my messages. I also knew he now considered me the enemy.

“I’m not Savage,
”
he says in a deadly voice.

“No,
”
I agree softly. “You aren’t.”

“I’m not Savage,
”
he repeats but looks up at me and I back up further.

“I know.”

“Wouldn’t be hard to keep you,
”
he says circling me like prey. “Break you. Use your pussy when I needed it. Beat you when I felt like it. Drown you when you disobey. Wouldn’t be a hard thing to do, Cinn.”

“Eros,
”
I whisper but it died in my throat when he caged me in followed by wrapping his fingers around my throat. He didn’t squeeze but I knew he wanted to. It took everything he had not to choke the life out of me. This was the treatment I was used to. This I could handle, I just didn’t want to. However, I didn’t break his stare or beg, I simply stayed still wondering what came next. Never thinking it would be this.

“I’m not Savage,
”
he says releasing me and pushing away like I was diseased. “And you are no longer my queen.”

“Eros,
”
I try moving forward. “Just listen to me.”

“I don’t think you heard me,
”
he says reaching for my keys on the wall. “I’m not Savage. Which means you don’t lead me or my business around by my dick. I knew better than to trust Savage’s whore,
”
he says in a lethal tone.

Throwing my keys, they hit me in the chest and land at my feet but I didn’t pick them up. Leveling me with a look that was pure evil he growls, “No pussy plays behind my back. No pussy gets the best of me. Take your keys and get the fuck gone before I change my mind and choke you out.”

Stunned, I don’t move because well
…
I can’t. What I could do was not take his shit and hope he didn’t kill me for it. “If you aren’t out of my sight in…”

“Knock it off,
”
I snap. “Jesus, Monarch. You’re pissed because I kept an eye on things without telling you? Hello! You do it all the time! You bugged my fucking phone! Everything I learned I shared with you anyway, so what the fuck?”

“I want you out.”

“Fine, whatever. When you realize what you’ve done there’s a good chance I won’t be waiting.
”
I lied because I’d probably wait forever but I didn’t want him knowing that. Then bending down, I grab my keys and throw them right back at his chest. “My phone goes with me.
”
He didn’t argue it. Instead he stepped forward setting it on the table and slid it over slowly. “I’m not a whore,
”
I whisper to him. “I’m clean and you should have trusted me.
”
Saying nothing to me he crosses his arms over his chest and nods for me to go.

“Ares,
”
I call but he secures him by the collar preventing him from moving and my heart broke. That’s when I knew he was serious and that he was letting me go.

“The mutt stays with me.”

Eyes filling with tears and doing my best to ignore Ares
’
cries, I take my phone, punch in my codes and run outside. Not knowing which way to go or where to start, I made a phone call. Since I was thirteen I’d plotted, planned and waited for Monarch. In less than twenty minutes, I was dumped, dismissed, sans dog and curled up in Camo’s loft wearing nothing but a robe that was bought for me. I wasn’t there two hours before Camo excused herself to make a call. While Gage did his best to cheer me up, I was too far gone to listen. My boys were now in residence where they’d be kept safe and I was homeless. I wasn’t trying to go behind his back. I was trying to stay ahead of the game. I was trying to keep him safe. Using the contacts I knew I could count on and threatening those I couldn’t.

“---to be emasculated.”

“I’m sorry what?
”
I ask after I realize he was still talking.

“Men,
”
he says softly. “We struggle with being emasculated, we don’t like it because it’s in our makeup to protect our women.”

I knew his history with Camo. I also knew he was able to get over it. They found their balance and I had hoped we’d find ours too. “You live in a different world, Gage. Your enemies are not like our enemies. Unfortunately, he doesn’t understand that you can’t just kill them all.”

“He loves you, Cinn.”

“I’m the queen of nothing,
”
I mumble bringing my knees up. “I’ll always be nothing.”

“Cinn?
”
I hear from behind me. Peeking over my arm I see Kandace making her way in and Gage, seeing his out, takes it. Pulling me into her arms, she asks me gently, “Is there anything I can do?”

“Can you fix broken hearts?”

“Shit,
”
she says hugging me tight. Then a few moments pass before she says, “If I could I’d be a very rich woman, huh?”

“I fucked up,
”
I admit. “I shouldn’t have kept it a secret. I should have told him sooner.”

“So Monarch tells you everything?
”
she counters. “He keeps nothing from you?”

“He keeps shit from me all the time. But I just wanted to keep him safe. He’s distracted, over confident and…”

“And what?
”
she asks tucking my hair back.

“He kept me from Ares.”

“He kept the dog?
”
she asks on a gasp.

“Yeah.”

“That’s a dick move,
”
she mumbles.

I couldn’t argue this. It was a dick move and it hurt much more than I cared to admit. Because it felt like he was keeping my child from me as punishment. “Where’s Camo?”

“Oh,
”
she says biting her lip. “She’s just blowing off steam on the roof.”

“Does she do that a lot?”

“No…but she’s pretty pissed off at Monarch right now. I think it reminds her of the shit she and my brother went through, so it’s best to let her be.
”
Nodding to her, we make small talk while my tears continue to drench my face. I hated feeling like this because I didn’t know what I was feeling. I’ve never been dumped before and if this happened to women often I had no idea why they even bothered. Being dumped sucked. As the hours blended, it was around midnight when Camo came back inside. She was in her kitchen making coffee. I have never seen anyone drink as much as she did. Let alone be able to shoot straight with all that caffeine in her system. When she pulled me into a hug I started crying again. It didn’t matter that I looked fabulous while I did it, I fucking hated that I was doing it at all. So while Kandace checked my wound and Camo petted me, I just let it all go.

Exhausted with all of it, guilt hit me hard. Rearing back, I look at Camo and tell her, “I have to go.”

“Go? Where?”

“You don’t live here anymore, shit, Camo. I’m sorry. My problems are not your problems, you both have men and should be in your own bed. Being near me isn’t safe for any of you so I’ll just call a cab and get a room.”

“You are welcome here as long as you like, spice girl. Also, you are not calling a cab because, crime bitch or not, they are worse than the criminals. Rest and in the morning if you still want to jet, we’ll call Uber.”

“Call who?”

Shaking her head she actually looks sorry for me. “Uber,
”
she repeats. “God that prick really kept you sheltered, didn’t he?
”
And I knew she meant Savage so I just shrugged. “Uber is a car service. Regular people use their cars to pick you up.”

“I pay for it, don’t I? What’s the difference?”

“I don’t know it’s just better.”

“But why?”

“Cause I say so, smart ass.”

“How do I get one?
”
My God I’m confused
.

“I have an account,
”
she smiles. “I got you. Now get some sleep, I’m heading back outside to…think.”

“All the bullshit heartache,
”
I toss out. “Was it worth it?”

Climbing the steps to hit the roof she smiles at me, “Yes. But for a while there, no. Walking around with a broken heart isn’t for pussies, Cinn. And I’ve known you a long time. One thing you are not, is a pussy.”

With that, she disappeared. All alone I fought the silence and lost. I hated being alone. As much as I craved freedom I didn’t want to accept loneliness as a part of it. Camo was right though, I was not a pussy. But what she doesn’t understand is I’m kept. She and Kandace went through their shit with their men. But with or without them, they were self-sufficient. Kandace was a fucking medical doctor and Camo an in demand killer. I was nothing without Monarch. I had no identity, skills, or training. On top of that, I never had my own bank account or credit cards. What I did have was his corporate card in my bag but I was pretty certain he’d probably claim it stolen, so I’d go to prison for fraud if I tried using it. Reaching for my phone shook me of my pathetic existence long enough to see Demo warning me that Casper was making a play for Monarch and thereby, me. This was the thread that ended everything. Messaging him back, I let him know I no longer belonged to Monarch. This meant I was truly fair game and didn’t that suck. I also let him know to relay to Casper that if he came for me, I wouldn’t go easily. Considering how destroyed I was, I could crush him with my grief alone.

I was done being owned, used and passed around. I was not a fucking war prize. I was a human being. A pitifully single human being, but nonetheless. Demo would play his part and relay this to Casper and all I could hope was Monarch would be safe now. Rubbing the back of my neck, I silently wished his name wasn’t inked there. I wished he’d never saved me in that alley, called me Mo chuisle and made me his queen. Most of all, I wished that I didn’t love him and after another crying spell, I finally passed out gutted by the knowledge he didn’t love me back.