Moxy Maxwell Does Not Love Stuart Little (6 page)

Here is a photograph Mark took of Mrs. Maxwell from Moxy’s point of view
.

Mrs. Maxwell did not even nod.

“But I might be hungry,” said Moxy. “After all that swimming. Do you know how many calories an hour you burn off when …” Moxy’s voice sort of trailed off.

“You can have a glass of milk when you get back.”

“And some of the great daisy cake? Please?”

Mrs. Maxwell shook her head. “And some saltines.”

“Graham crackers?” suggested Moxy.

“Graham crackers, and that is it,” said Mrs. Maxwell.

Moxy knew enough about her mother to know that this was the best deal she was going to get. So she went upstairs and put on her baby blue petal-covered swimsuit with the matching royal blue swim cap.

I do not
have to tell you how spectacularly successful the Great Daisy Routine turned out to be. There were, of course, a few problems. But nothing the average water-ballet fan would notice, unless they happened to be in the business.

It was complicated: all eight petals had to stand on the diving board with their arms linked together until Coach Marjorie turned the Pink Panther song on over the loudspeaker. Then they dived in. Next,
without coming up for a single breath
, they had to swim underwater until their heads met in
the middle. Then came the tricky part: they had to count to ten and
at exactly the same time
come to the surface with their legs sticking straight out to form the petal parts of the flower.

Naturally the applause went on and on. It was such a shame that Moxy had to go home.

The first thing
Moxy did after Ajax drove her home was to have two glasses of milk and seven graham crackers. Then she went up to her room and crossed “Win a Gold Medal for Synchronized Swimming in the 2016 Olympics” from her list of 211 Possible Career Paths. Though she had liked the sparklers and the bright blue petal outfits, she had to admit she hadn’t been fond of the swimming part.

In fact, as she thought about it, Moxy realized she did not want to spend the next ten years being wet.

Here is a remarkably sharp photograph Mark took of Moxy’s baby blue petal-covered swimsuit with her royal blue cap after Moxy had hung them up to dry
.

Moxy needed a clear mind and a dry head as she considered which of the now 210 Possible Career Paths she would choose. She thought about adding “Own a Large Peach Orchard Plantation” to her list, but she decided to wait and see how her first peach orchard went.

Then she turned her attention to the cover of
Stuart Little
. He was such a cute mouse. She asked herself why she hadn’t noticed that before—after all, they had been together most of the summer. Then she examined the picture of his little sports car. She wondered how he had managed to talk his parents into getting it. Then, as with all the really great stories, Moxy was no longer in her room, she was in the passenger seat beside Stuart Little.

What had she been thinking?
Why ever did I spend the whole summer avoiding a ride in this little car with the fabulous fenders
? was the last thing she said to herself
before Stuart Little hit the accelerator and the two sped off.

Here is the final photograph Mark Maxwell took of Moxy Maxwell on August 23. It was taken at one minute before midnight
.

Many people contributed to this book. I’d especially like to thank Anne Schwartz, Lee Wade, Valorie Fisher, and Annie Kelley for their seamless collaboration. My deepest gratitude belongs to J. Patrick Lewis and Susan Lewis for their generous help; to muses Kelly Marceau and Scott Marceau; and most importantly, to Jack Fitzpatrick and Chester Gifford. —P.G.

Many thanks to my hardworking, ever-patient, and suitably silly cast of characters: Elinor, Charlie, Aidan, Olive, Anne, Buster, and Dash, and Maisie and Harriet for allowing me to make a complete mess of their bedroom. —V.F.

It was the
day after Christmas and Moxy Maxwell had a List of 13 Things to Do Before Tomorrow. Tomorrow she and her twin brother, Mark, were flying to Hollywood to spend the last week of vacation with their father.

Moxy had been looking forward to this trip for, as she put it, “ages and ages”—ever since her mother called her dad and told him that
this year
he
had
to take the twins for the last part of Christmas vacation.

Mark and Moxy’s father’s name was
Rock Hunter, and he was a Big Mover and Shaker out in Hollywood. But Moxy and Mark hadn’t seen him for almost three years. Two years ago he canceled their Christmas visit at the last minute because he had to fly to the Dead Sea to help a Major Star who was having a breakdown on the set of a made-for-TV movie called
Noah’s Wife: The Untold Story
. And last year he was so busy establishing himself in his new career as a Big Mover and Shaker in Hollywood that he had forgotten about Christmas altogether. But this year he was finally a Big Man Behind the Scenes out there.

“Behind the scenes is where the real action is” was what he’d told Moxy when she had asked why she’d never seen his picture in
People
magazine or
Us Weekly
magazine or Star magazine or any magazine.

Numbers 1 through
12 on Moxy’s List of 13 Things to Do Before Tomorrow were to write twelve thank-you notes. Last year she hadn’t finished writing the thank-you notes for her Christmas presents until the day before Easter. This year, she promised her mother, they’d
all
be finished by the day
after
Christmas. And today was the day after Christmas.

“Dear Nonnie, Thank you for the fabulous money. Love, Me,” read Moxy. She was resting on her bed, her new thank-you-note stationery balanced on her knees, while her mother
folded Moxy’s baby blue petal-patterned swimsuit into her suitcase.

“Tell Nonnie how you’re going to spend the money,” said Mrs. Maxwell. “And be sure to wish her a happy New Year.”

“But that will take
forever
,” said Moxy. “And I have eleven more thank-you notes to go.”

“A thank-you note isn’t something you
have to do
, it should
mean something
. It should come from your heart,” said Mrs. Maxwell.

“But my heart hasn’t got time,” Moxy replied. “It has to go with my body to the mall to exchange the evening gown Aunt Margaret and I picked out for me to wear to the Big New Year’s Eve Star-Studded Hollywood Bash Dad’s taking me and Mark to. He said Madonna might even be there.”

“I heard Shrek might be there too,” said Mark. Mark wasn’t “thrilled to death” (as Moxy put it) about the Big New Year’s Eve Star-Studded Hollywood Bash.

Not only was Mark Maxwell the second-most-famous photographer on Palmetto Lane, he was also packed for their trip tomorrow, which was why he had time to take this picture of the inside of Moxy’s half-packed suitcase. He called it “California Dreamin’.”

“California Dreamin’,” by Mark Maxwell
.

Exchanging the evening gown Moxy and Aunt Margaret had picked out for Moxy to wear was number 13 on Moxy’s List of 13 Things to Do Before Tomorrow.

1. It was strapless
.

2. It was black.

3. It had too many sequins.

4. It had a train that extended five feet behind her.

5. Moxy was only ten.

“It’s a shame it didn’t work out,” said Moxy. She was looking at the photograph Mark had taken of her when she first modeled the dress for everyone. He called it “Moxy’s Moxie.”

“Moxy’s Moxie,” by Mark Maxwell
.

“I’m sure we’ll find something just as cute at the mall this afternoon,” Moxy went
on. “I think I’ll go with a short skirt this time—something with gobs of glitter.”

“You’re not going with anything, including with me to the mall, until you finish writing your thank-you notes,” said Mrs. Maxwell. She was looking under Moxy’s bed as she spoke. She pulled out two old ice cream bowls and a plate with a fork stuck to it.

“Mom, have you decided where you want to live when I’m a rich and famous movie star and buy you a mansion?” asked Moxy, gazing at the big toe on her left foot. (It looked bigger than usual.)

Number 3 on Moxy’s List of 218 Possible Career Paths was to become a rich and famous movie star and adopt 17 starving children from around the world (she wasn’t sure if she would have a husband) and live with them and their 17 nannies in a mansion near all the other rich and famous
movie stars who were adopting starving children from around the world.